The essential pillars of marital life

Marital happiness is a dream that all husbands and wives have had
sincethe beginning of time and many spouses are still trying to
fulfill this dream through all possible means. Nevertheless, being
awayfrom the true teachings of Islam and sound prophetic guidance has
led them to confusion between the different means: Western and
Eastern. However, when one returns to the Sunnah of the Prophet he
will inevitably reach his goal. Allaah The Almighty has granted
success to one of the callers to Allaah to compile the pillars of the
marital life, which are:
First: good intention:
This means that the spouses should begin their marital life with a
sincere intention to obtain the pleasure of Allaah The Almighty. This
would be displayed in the following matters:
1 – Maintaining ones' chastity, guarding the private parts against
committing sin, lowering the gaze and fulfilling each spouse's
responsibility towards the other.
2 – Establishing the Muslim home in concordance with the methodology
of Allaah The Almighty.
3 – Producing righteous offspring who affirm thatthere is nothing
worthy of worship except Allaah and who worship Him as He should be
worshipped.
Second: Cooperation withone another in obeying Allaah The Almighty.
Third: Establishing a Muslim home and family.
Fourth: Building the marital relationship on love, mercy and kind association.
Before talking about marital happiness, there is a set of rules that a
wife should comprehend and be fully aware of:
First: a human being has three levels:
This is specific to mental and cognitive aspects.
Second: a woman must distinguish between two things:
This is specific to instinctsand desires (the abdomen and sexual organs).
2 - Good association (affection and mercy), and this also has its components.
Satisfying the husband's needs according to his age as well as his
economic status are components of stability. The woman should knowthe
man's needs and the manner in which he thinks.
A righteous woman can achieve her husband's essential needs in terms
of security and efficiency,as stated in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
This includes the basic needs:
Through maintaining his wealth and honor, in addition to patience,
chastity, and so on.
Through satisfying basic needs, sexual desires etc.
He is looking for a lovingwife and a friend. Add-ons:
Third, a pious woman never asks until she gives:
Such a woman gives first and then asks. A Bedouin woman offered her
daughter the following advice on her wedding day, "Be an earth for him
and he will be your sky; be a bondmaid for him and he will be your
slave."
This is an indispensable introduction that should be known before
discussing marital happiness and its components in detail.
Sufficiency:
Security:
3 - The lower level:
1 – The stability of the home, and this has its components.
2 – The middle level:
1 - The highest level:
This is specific to feelings and emotions (heart and sentiment).
Fifth: Forgiveness and pardoning.
Sixth: Calmness at times of anger.

Obligatory and optional aspects of ablution

In Islam, ablution, or Wudhoo', is to wash one's face, hands, arms,
head and feet with water. Allaah, the Most High, Says (what means): "O
you who have believed! When you rise to [perform] prayer, wash your
faces and yourforearms to the elbows and wipe over your heads and wash
your feet to the ankles..." [Quran 5:6]
Abu Hurayrah narrated that he Prophet said: "Allaah does not accept
the prayer of one who nullified his ablution until he performs it
again." [Al-Bukhaari, Muslim, AbuDaawood and At-Tirmithi]
There is a consensus among the Muslim scholars that ablution is part
of Islamic law. Therefore, it is a recognised fact of the religion.
There are many reports describing the manner inwhich the Prophet
performed ablution, and the following is one of them. Humraan, the
freedslave of 'Uthmaan bin 'Affaan narrated that 'Uthmaan once asked
for a tumbler of water in order to perform ablution; when it was
brought to him, he poured water from it over his hands and washed them
thrice, and then put his right hand inthe water container and rinsed
his mouth and washed his nose by putting water in it and then blowing
it out. Then, he washed his face thrice and then his forearms up to
the elbows thrice; then, he passed his wet hands over his head and
then washed each foot thrice. After that, 'Uthmaan said: "I saw the
Prophet perform ablution like this of mine, and he then said: "If
anyone performs ablution like that of mineand offers a two-Rak'ah
(units) prayer during which he does not think of anything else (not
related to the present prayer) then his past sins will be forgiven."
[Al-Bukhaari]
There are matters scholars did not differ regarding their obligation,
and other matters which they agreeto the fact that they are
recommended matters if neglected, one's ablutionwould still be valid.
On the other hand there are matters over which the scholars have
different opinions. In this article we will highlight the three
categories.
Obligatory Acts of Ablution:
In light of the above-mentioned verse, ablution should have certain
components which, if not fulfilled, make one's ablution void. These
are:
(i) Washing the face: This involves using the hands to pour or run
water from the top of the forehead to the bottom of the jaws, and from
one ear to the other.
(ii) Washing the arms to the elbows: The elbows must be washed, for
the Prophet did so.
(iii) Wiping the head: This means to wipe one's head with wet hands.
The apparent meaning ofthe Quranic words (which mean): "… and wipe
over your heads…" [Quran 5:6] does not imply that all of the head
needs to be wiped yet the way of the prophet is what confirms this
fact. Three different wayswere recorded of how he would wipe his head:
(a) Wiping all of his head:'Abdullaah Ibn Zayd reported that the
Prophet would wipe his entire head with his hands. He would start with
the front of his head, then move to the back, and then return his
hands to the front. [Ibn Maajah, Abu Daawood and others']
(b) Wiping over the turban only: Bilaal reported that the Prophet
said: "Wipe over your shoes and head covering." [Ahmad].It should be
noted that the condition for wiping over the turban and socks is that
prior ablution was performed before putting them on. Many Prophetic
narrations have been related on this topic by Imaams Al-Bukhaari,
Muslim and others .
(c) Wiping over the front portion of the scalp and the turban:
Al-MugheerahIbn Shu'bah stated: "The Messenger of Allaah performed
ablution and wiped over the frontportion of his scalp, his turban and
his socks." [Muslim]
There is, however, no strong Prophetic narration that clearly states
that he wiped over part of his head, even though the verse [Quran:
5:6] apparently implies it. It is also not sufficient just to wipe
over locks of hair that proceed from the head or along the sides of
the head.
(iv) Washing the feet andthe heels: This has been confirmed in
narrations from the Prophet concerning his actions and statements. Ibn
'Umar said warning against not properly and entirely washing the feet:
"(Once), the Prophet lagged behind us on one of our journeys. He
caught up with us after we had delayed the afternoon prayer. We
started to make ablution and were (only) wiping over our feet (and not
washing them) when he said: "Woe to these heels! Save them from the
Hell-fire" repeating it twice or thrice." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
Optional Aspects:
The following acts are not obligatory, yet, once done, are rewarded
for since they constitute the way the Prophet used to perform
ablution:
1. Brushing the teeth with a tooth-stick (Miswaak).
2. Passing wet fingers through the beard.
3. Passing the fingers of both hands against each other, and also
passing them through the toes.
4. Washing each limb three times.
Controversial issues:
There are certain issues pertaining to ablution which are
controversial among Muslim scholars; some classify them as obligatory,
while others classify them as optional. Such issues are:
1. Intention: This is the desire to do the action and to please Allaah
by following His command. It is purely an act of the heart, for the
tongue (verbal pronouncement and so on) has nothing todo with it.
2. Reciting the 'Basmalah' (saying: 'Bismillaah, i.e. 'In the name
of Allaah).
3. Rinsing the mouth.
4. Sniffing water into the nose and blowing it out.
5. Following the prescribed sequence.
6. Washing each part without pause, to ensure that no part dries
up before the next step.
7. Wiping the two ears (inside and outside).

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Sacrifices - , Condition of saying Bismillaah in order for meat to be halaal.

What is the ruling on saying Bismillaah over the sacrifice, especially
ifthe slaughterman does not pray?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Meat slaughtered by onewho does not pray is nothalaal, whether he says
the name of Allaah over it or not. See question no. 70278 .
With regard to saying Bismillah when slaughtering meat, the fuqaha'
differed concerning that and there are three points ofview:
1 – That it is mustahabb only, which is the view of al-Shaafa'i.
2 – That it is a condition of the meat being halaal,but if a person
forgets it by mistake it is still permissible. This is the view of the
Hanafis, Maalikis and Hanbalis.
3 – That it is essential and cannot be waived under any circumstances,
whether it is omitted by mistake or deliberately or out of ignorance.
This is the view of the Zaahiris and was narrated from Maalik and
Ahmad, and it was the view of some of the salaf; it was also the view
favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah. Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may
Allaah have mercy on him) said:It is the correct view.
He also said: They quoted as evidence the general meaning of the verse
in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Eat not (O believers) of that (meat) on which Allaah's Name has not
been pronounced (at thetime of the slaughtering of the animal)"
[al-An'aam 6:121]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"If the blood flows and the name of Allaah is mentioned, then eat."
Soin order for the meat to be halaal, it is essential that the name of
Allaah be mentioned. It is well known that if the condition is not
met, the thing is invalid, so if the name of Allaah is not mentioned,
the meat is not halaal, as with any other condition. Hence ifa person
prays but he forgot to do wudoo', he has to repeat the
prayer.Similarly if he prays not realizing that he had broken his
wudoo' because he thought that breaking wind does not invalidate
wudoo', or that eating camel meat does not invalidate wudoo', for
example, then he must repeat it, because the thing is not valid
without the conditions being met. Soif he slaughtered it but the blood
did not flow, by mistake or out of ignorance, then it is not halaal,
and the same applies if he does not mention the name of Allaah,
because it is mentioned in the same hadeeth. End quote fromal-Sharh
al-Mumti' (6/358).
See also: al-'Inaayah Sharh al-Hidaayah (9/489); al-Fawaakih
al-Dawaani (1/382); and al-Majmoo' (8/387).
Based on this, he should not slaughter sacrifices or anything else
unless he is one of those who pray regularly, and it is essential that
he mentions the name of Allaah when slaughtering and says Bismillaah
(in the name of Allaah).
It is also mustahabb to say takbeer, so he should say: Bismillaah, wa
Allaahu akbar (In the name of Allaah and Allaah is Most Great).
Al-Bukhaari (5558) and Muslim (1966) narrated that Anas (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) sacrificed two horned black and white rams. I
saw him placing his foot on their sides, and he said the name of
Allaah and he said takbeer, then he slaughtered them with his own
hand.
And Allaah knows best.

Sacrifices - , Slaughtering the sacrifice is better than giving its price in charity.

My brother and I each have a house and on Eid in sha Allaah we want to
slaughter one ram and give the other in charity without actually
slaughtering it. Do we have to slaughter the two rams or not?.
Praise be to Allaah.
What is prescribed in your case is for you to slaughter the two
sacrifices. It is not acceptable for you to share in one sacrifice,
because you stated that you live separately from your brother. We have
listed the conditions for sharing sacrifices in the answer to question
no. 96741 .
There we mentioned thedifference of scholarly opinion concerning the
ruling on sacrifices, and stated that it is a confirmed Sunnah (Sunnah
mu'akkadah) according to the majority and it is obligatory according
to a few fuqaha'.
The scholars stated that slaughtering the sacrifice is better than
giving its price in charity. Based on that, you can offer the
sacrifice and give the meat in charity, or you can delegate someone to
sacrifice it on your behalf in countries or regions where there is a
great deal of need.
It says in Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha (2/473): Slaughtering the sacrifice
or the 'aqeeqahis better than giving its price in charity. This
wasstated by Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him). The same
applies to the hadiy (sacrifice offered during Hajj). The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) slaughtered his sacrifice
and hadiy, as did the caliphs who came after him. If giving the price
in charity was better they would not have failed to do that. End
quote.
And Allaah knows best.