Parents' responsibilities for the care and upbringing of their
children are mentioned in severalverses of the Quran, as well as in
the Hadeeth.
Allaah Almighty Says (what means ( : "O you who have believed, protect
yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and
stones… " [Quran 66:6]
How do we ward off that fire from our families? We need to show to
them the right way and to teach them the difference between right and
wrong. An excellent example of this is foundin the words of Luqmaan to
his son, related in the Quran, where he admonishes him:
1. Not to ascribe divine powers toanything other than Allaah.
2. To be good and kind to parents.
3. To obey parents unless they command what is wrong.
4. To understand that all our deeds, however minor, are recorded and
will be brought to light.
5. To be constant in prayer.
6. To enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.
7. To bear what befalls him with patience.
8. To avoid pride, arrogance and boastfulness.
9. To be modest in manner and speech.
This is a model example of parental responsibility and advice. Luqmaan
guides his own son on the path to paradise with simple but memorable
words.
Children are a trust given to the parents. Parents will be held
accountable for this trust on the Day of Judgment. Parents are
essentially responsible for the moral, ethical and the basic and
essential religious teachings of their children.
If parents fulfill this responsibility, they will be free of the
consequences on the Day of Judgment. The children will become better
citizens and a pleasure to the eyes of their parents, first in this
life, and in the Hereafter.
Allaah, Almighty Says (what means): "And those who believedand whose
descendants followedthem in faith – We will join with them their
descendants, and We will not deprive them of anythingof their deeds.
Every person, for what he earned, is retained... " [Quran 52:21]
This parental responsibility belongs not only to the father. The
Prophet is reported to have said: "Take care! Each of you is a
shepherd and each of you shall be asked concerning his flock; a leader
is a shepherd of hispeople, and he shall be asked concerning his
flock; and a man isa shepherd of the people of his house, and he shall
be asked concerning his flock; and a woman is a shepherd of the house
of her husband and over their children, and she shall be asked
concerning them." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
Indeed the mother's role may be even greater: while the children are
young they are very close to her and dependent upon her, andthey spend
more time with her than with anyone else. There is an Arabic saying:
"The mother is the first school" . She may be a good school, an
indifferent or even a bad school. She may even be unaware that she is
serving asa role model in her behavior, and her attitudes. Every
mother should be conscious of her role and do her best to make it
beneficial for the development of her children as they set out on the
journey of life.
Parental care and guidance are fundamental to child upbringing. Some
parents nowadays become so preoccupied with their jobs or with making
money or with theirsocial lives that children are oftenneglected. They
may be ignored or left for hours with the television or computer or
they may be sent to day-care centers at a very early age to be cared
for in groups by other people.
The parents' right to respect from their children is dependent upon
the children's right to loving care and guidance of their parents.
It is related that a man once came to 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, the
second Khaleefah (Caliph) of Islam complaining of his sons'
disobedience to him. 'Umar summoned the boy and spoke of his
disobedience to his father andhis neglect of his rights. The boy
replied: "O Ameer al-Mu'mineen (Prince of believers)! Hasn't a child
rights over his father?"
"Certainly", replied 'Umar.
"What are they, Ameer al-Mu'mineen?"
"That he should choose his mother, give him a good name and teach him
the Book (the Quran)."
"O Ameer al-Mu'mineen! My fatherdid nothing of this. My mother was a
Magian (fire worshipper). He gave me the name of Julalaan (meaning
dung beetle or scarab) and he did not teach me a single letter of the
Quran."
Turning to the father, 'Umar said: "You have come to me to complain
about the disobedienceof your son. You have failed in your duty to him
before he has failed in his duty to you; you havedone wrong to him
before he haswronged you."
Education and bringing up in Islam
Allaah Almighty Says (what means): "This day I have perfected for you
your religion and completed My favor upon youand have approved for you
Islam as religion... " [Quran 5: 3]
Education is the process by whichchildren are nurtured as they grow up
to develop the Islamic worldview and the Islamic virtues.
Education means to look after, tonurture, to nourish, to help growand
flourish. It implies certain sensitivity towards the child under your
care, his emotional and physical needs and capacities. It implies the
ability toinspire confidence. It implies the courage to allow and
promote creativity and innovation. It implies the ability to trust and
not to stifle, to be firm when needed and even to impose sanctions
when necessary.
The starting point for education is the example of parents. Small
children take their parents as models. If parents are lazy and
careless, the children will also take laziness and carelessness as
normal. If they tell lies, children will regard lying as normal and
acceptable. The same applies to smoking, drinking, rude manners,
swearing and all other bad habits. There is no way parents can
motivate their children to practice the Islamic virtues if they
themselves do not respect the values and try to practice them also. As
children grow up, they will only perceive the inconsistency or even
hypocrisy in their parents' approach.
It is important not to crush a child's spirit and joy about life by
terrorizing him/her, whether physically or psychologically. Children
must play. It is the way they learn, and is not in itself something
bad. Parents should give the child opportunities to play and to
experience the excitement of exploration, of learning and of growing
up.
At the same time, parents shouldteach children Islamic manners and
etiquette in accordance with the beautiful example of the Prophet .
Such habits include truthfulness and honesty, gentleness, politeness,
consideration for others, helpfulness, cleanliness and tidiness.
They also include:
1. Time management and doing things at the right time.
2. Physical exercise for fitness.
3. Mental exercise and developingan appetite for knowledge,
understanding and skills.
4. Learning to read and recite the Quran from an early age when the
child's memory finds it easy.
5. Development of regular performance of Prayer between the ages of 7 and 10.
6. Taking on responsibilities in the family.
7. Taking on responsibilities in the wider community as children grow up.
Above all, correct education should ensure that children develop a
love for Islam, a love for Allaah and His Prophet and that they
develop a feeling ofpride in being Muslim and willingness to strive
for the good of others. They need to realize the benefits of Islam,
the foundations on which it is based and their need for Islam. They
need to value Islam and live by Islamic values.
It is the responsibility of the parents to experiment with various
ways of achieving those goals.
Islamic education and Muslim schools
If parents are to get the best results for their children in Muslim
schools, they must know what the Muslim school is trying to do.
Parents need to understand that while the schoolbasically may be
following a National Curriculum (which in some countries may be
compulsory), the teaching approach is expected to be holistic.
Therefore it is not just a matter of teaching Islamic Studies, Quran
and Arabic under the same roof as Arts and Sciences, but of developing
an integrated Islamic perspective onall forms of knowledge right
across the curriculum. At the same time, the school is trying
tocultivate good attitudes, behaviorand manners in accordance with the
teachings of Islam.
'Aishah is reported to have said of the Prophet that: "His behavior
was the Quran (in practice)". [Ahmad] To take the Prophet as a
"beautiful example" means not just to imitate his outward actions or
practices but also to base our own motivation and actions on the Quran
as he did, in a way thatis appropriate to the place and time in which
we happen to live.
The approach of a modern Muslim School, which may be located in a
modern "secular" or non-Islamic type of environment, cannot be like
that of Islamic education of the recent past, when teaching relied
much on repetition and memorization anduncritical acceptance of the
teachers' word. The Islamic teaching must relate with the society in
which the pupils live, with the state of modern knowledge and with the
beliefs of other people (probably the majority) in the country where
the school is located. If Muslim children are to grow up as witnesses
to the truth in a non-Muslim society, they need to understand that
society and to develop an objective and critical approach, so that
they can appreciate whatever is good in it,avoid its evils and reach
out to the non-Muslims, presenting the truths of Islam in a way they
can understand Islam and relate to it.
--
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Thursday, November 8, 2012
Responsibilities of parents
Does not being allowed to give the adhaan over loudspeakers mean that the ritual of the adhaan is not being established?
If the Muslims are prevented from giving the adhaan over loudspeakers,
is this considered as being unable to manifest the symbols of Islam
and are they therefore obliged to migrate (make hijrah)and not remain
in that land?
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh 'Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen (may Allaah
preserve him), and he answered as follows:
This is not regarded as coming under that heading, because the use of
loudspeakers is a new thing. They can still give the adhaan with their
own voices and establish the symbols of their religion. And
Allaahknows best.And Allah knows best.
is this considered as being unable to manifest the symbols of Islam
and are they therefore obliged to migrate (make hijrah)and not remain
in that land?
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh 'Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen (may Allaah
preserve him), and he answered as follows:
This is not regarded as coming under that heading, because the use of
loudspeakers is a new thing. They can still give the adhaan with their
own voices and establish the symbols of their religion. And
Allaahknows best.And Allah knows best.
The meaning of thinking about going forjihaad, and combining da’wah and jihaad
Assalaau Alaykum,
My dear respected Shaikh,
I am an undergraduate student studiying in the field of Computer
Engineering in University of XXXXX . InshaAllah I will be graduating
next year. Alhamdulillah I am married and expecting akid very soon !
InshaAllah. AlhamdulillahI make efforts to gain knowledge and
implement it upon the way of Salaf-us-Salih and I know this is the
right way . But there is one thing I do not reallyunderstand : that
isthe issue of Jihaad. InshaAllah please do clarify this for me in the
following context:
1. My obligation with regards to Jihaad
2. The meaning of the Hadith : Whoever dies and did not fight in
battle, nor did he have the sincere wish to fight in battle, dies on a
branch of hypocrisy." [Muslim]
3. How do I prepare for Jihaad.
4. How should I weigh the affair between gaining knowledge, Da'waf and Jihaad.
I would also like to know what the major Ulama say with regards to this.
Jazakallahu Khairan.
Praise be to Allaah.
Imaam Muslim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Saheeh:
"Chapter: Condemnation of the one who dies without having gone out for
jihaad or having thought of doing so." Then he quoted the hadeeth of
Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him), who said: "The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
'Whoever dies without having gone out for jihaad or having thought of
doing so, dies on a branch of hypocrisy.'" (Saheeh Muslim, 3533).
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:"What is meant is that
the one who does this is behaving, in this regard,like the hypocrites
who stay behind and do not go out for jihaad, because not engaging
injihaad is one of the branches of hypocrisy. This hadeeth also
indicates that the one who intended to do an act of worship but died
before he could do it is not to be condemned to the same extent as one
who died without any such intention."
Al-Sindi said, in his footnotes to Sunan al-Nisaa'i: " '… without
having thought of [it]…' means without having said to himself, 'I wish
I could go out for jihaad.' Or it could mean that he did not intend to
go out for jihaad, and the sign of intending to go out for jihaad is
preparing equipment. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 'And
if they had intended to march out, certainly they wouldhave made some
preparation for it…" [al-Tawbah 9:64]."
A person can prepare himself for jihaad in many ways, such as:
Learning the virtues of jihaad and the rulings concerning it;
preparing oneself with different kinds of acts of worship;
training oneself to makesacrifices;
forcing oneself to prefer others to oneself;
spending for the sake of Allaah;
studying and reading the biographies of mujaahideen and heroesof Islam;
studying Islamic battles;
constantly telling oneselfthat if jihaad is established and one has
the means and is able to go for jihaad, there is nochoice but to
enlist;
knowing how sinful it is to run away from the battlefield or flee
beforethe kuffaar;
studying the Seerah (biography) of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) during both the Makkan and Madani periods, and
studying his battles and campaigns, to see how he conducted the jihaad
in the context of his owncircumstances, what he started with and how
heprepared himself;
understanding that jihaad has to go throughstages, beginning with the
nearest enemy, until one reaches the stage of being able to fight all
the mushrikeen;
being aware of the movements of hypocrisy;
waging jihaad on four fronts – against one's own nafs or base self,
against the Shaytaan, against the kuffaar and against the hypocrites;
understanding the importance of waging jihaad with one's wealthas well
as with one's self.
Know, my brother, that it is not difficult to combine jihaad with
da'wah, because each ofthem has its own time and place. When the
mujaahideen were waging their conquests, they used to call people to
Allaah before the battle started. When they conquered a country, they
would call its people to Islam and teach them the religion. When there
was no battle or jihaad going on, the doors of da'wah were still wide
open, and they would make da'wah to their wives, children, relatives,
neighbours and all people, Muslim and non-Muslim, calling themwith
wisdom and beautiful preaching, andarguing with them in a way that is
better. May Allaah help us and you todo that which He loves and which
pleases Him. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
My dear respected Shaikh,
I am an undergraduate student studiying in the field of Computer
Engineering in University of XXXXX . InshaAllah I will be graduating
next year. Alhamdulillah I am married and expecting akid very soon !
InshaAllah. AlhamdulillahI make efforts to gain knowledge and
implement it upon the way of Salaf-us-Salih and I know this is the
right way . But there is one thing I do not reallyunderstand : that
isthe issue of Jihaad. InshaAllah please do clarify this for me in the
following context:
1. My obligation with regards to Jihaad
2. The meaning of the Hadith : Whoever dies and did not fight in
battle, nor did he have the sincere wish to fight in battle, dies on a
branch of hypocrisy." [Muslim]
3. How do I prepare for Jihaad.
4. How should I weigh the affair between gaining knowledge, Da'waf and Jihaad.
I would also like to know what the major Ulama say with regards to this.
Jazakallahu Khairan.
Praise be to Allaah.
Imaam Muslim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Saheeh:
"Chapter: Condemnation of the one who dies without having gone out for
jihaad or having thought of doing so." Then he quoted the hadeeth of
Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him), who said: "The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
'Whoever dies without having gone out for jihaad or having thought of
doing so, dies on a branch of hypocrisy.'" (Saheeh Muslim, 3533).
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:"What is meant is that
the one who does this is behaving, in this regard,like the hypocrites
who stay behind and do not go out for jihaad, because not engaging
injihaad is one of the branches of hypocrisy. This hadeeth also
indicates that the one who intended to do an act of worship but died
before he could do it is not to be condemned to the same extent as one
who died without any such intention."
Al-Sindi said, in his footnotes to Sunan al-Nisaa'i: " '… without
having thought of [it]…' means without having said to himself, 'I wish
I could go out for jihaad.' Or it could mean that he did not intend to
go out for jihaad, and the sign of intending to go out for jihaad is
preparing equipment. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 'And
if they had intended to march out, certainly they wouldhave made some
preparation for it…" [al-Tawbah 9:64]."
A person can prepare himself for jihaad in many ways, such as:
Learning the virtues of jihaad and the rulings concerning it;
preparing oneself with different kinds of acts of worship;
training oneself to makesacrifices;
forcing oneself to prefer others to oneself;
spending for the sake of Allaah;
studying and reading the biographies of mujaahideen and heroesof Islam;
studying Islamic battles;
constantly telling oneselfthat if jihaad is established and one has
the means and is able to go for jihaad, there is nochoice but to
enlist;
knowing how sinful it is to run away from the battlefield or flee
beforethe kuffaar;
studying the Seerah (biography) of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) during both the Makkan and Madani periods, and
studying his battles and campaigns, to see how he conducted the jihaad
in the context of his owncircumstances, what he started with and how
heprepared himself;
understanding that jihaad has to go throughstages, beginning with the
nearest enemy, until one reaches the stage of being able to fight all
the mushrikeen;
being aware of the movements of hypocrisy;
waging jihaad on four fronts – against one's own nafs or base self,
against the Shaytaan, against the kuffaar and against the hypocrites;
understanding the importance of waging jihaad with one's wealthas well
as with one's self.
Know, my brother, that it is not difficult to combine jihaad with
da'wah, because each ofthem has its own time and place. When the
mujaahideen were waging their conquests, they used to call people to
Allaah before the battle started. When they conquered a country, they
would call its people to Islam and teach them the religion. When there
was no battle or jihaad going on, the doors of da'wah were still wide
open, and they would make da'wah to their wives, children, relatives,
neighbours and all people, Muslim and non-Muslim, calling themwith
wisdom and beautiful preaching, andarguing with them in a way that is
better. May Allaah help us and you todo that which He loves and which
pleases Him. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Moving away from places of shirk
We have decided to buy a new house to live in, inBaghdad. But my
father refuses to live anywhere except the area in whichhe grew up,
which is a Shi'i area where rituals of shirk are done every year and
the people whip themselves with chains in mourning for al-Husayn, or
so they say.Now we, the sons, are confused: should we go against our
father and prevent him from buying a house in this area, or should we
give in to what he wants out of obedience to him even though we are
ableto stop him from doing that?
Does this come under the heading of moving away from places of shirk?
What are its conditions and obligations? Please note that my father is
a religiously committed man, but he is influenced by the place where
he grew up.
Praise be to Allaah.
Parents have to understand that Allah, may He be exalted, has made
them shepherds oftheir families and they will be responsible for them
on the Day of Resurrection, as it was narrated that 'Abd-Allah ibn
'Umar said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) say: "Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is
responsible for hisflock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and is
responsible for hisflock. A man is the shepherd of his household and
is responsible for his flock…" Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 853;
Muslim,1829.
Allah, may He be exalted,has instructed the believers to protect
themselves and their families from the Fire of Hell, as He says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a
Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed)
angels stern (and) severe…"
[al-Tahreem 66:6].
Hence we can say to the good father that staying among people of
extreme innovation and corrupt beliefs poses a danger to you and your
family in terms being influenced by their beliefs. If the father is
religiously committed and feels safe, in sha Allah, against their
misguidance and innovations, and if you are likewise, the danger still
exists for your offspring and children.
Because we know that those innovators are the Raafidis, then our
warning to you is further emphasized because there is the fearfor you
and your family that they may cause you real harm, and real life
events in your country testify to that. So you should not let emotion
take precedence over reason and religious commitment; rather you
should reconsider the idea of your staying among those who carry out
rituals of shirk and revile the best of this ummah, namely the
Companions of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him). The scholars have stated thatif the believer does not feel
that he or his family are safe from fitnah or that he cannot openly
practice his religion, then he has to leave his home and migrate, and
it makes no difference whether his land is a land of evildoing,
innovation or shirk. If the Muslim is in such a land, then he has to
leave it, so how about if he chooses to go and live in the land and
among those people who openly practise shirk in the name of Islam and
revile the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) and denounce Ahl
al-Sunnah as disbelievers?!
Ibn al-'Arabi al-Maaliki (may Allah have mercy on him) said,
describing the types of migration:
… The second is migration from the land of innovation. Ibn al-Qaasim
said: I heard Maalik say: It is not permissible for anyone to stay in
a land in whichthe salaf (early generations of Muslims) are reviled.
And this is true. If the one who objects to evil is not able to change
it then he should keep away from it. Allah, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And when you (Muhammad) see those who engage in a false conversation
about Our Verses (of the Qur'ân) by mocking at them, stay away from
them till they turn to another topic. And if Shaitân (Satan) causes
you to forget, then after the remembrance sit not youin the company of
those people who are the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong-doers)"
[al-An'aam 6:68].
End quote from Ahkaam al-Qur'aan, 2/412, 413
What we think is that your father should avoidliving among the people
of that deviant sect, for the reasons mentioned above.
If your father insists on living in that place, after you have tried
to advise him in the best way, thatyou have to beware of the plots and
the evil of the Raafidis and take precautions to protect your
religious commitment against the fitnah of their religious practices;
try to ensure that your closest neighbours are Sunnis who live in that
area.
What we suggest to you is do not buy a house or land in that place;
rathertry to make your stay there temporary in the hope that Allah
will guide your father and he will become convinced to keep away from
that place and choose somewhere better than it.
--
- - - - -
And Allah Knows the Best!
- - - - -
Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA
- - - - - - -
father refuses to live anywhere except the area in whichhe grew up,
which is a Shi'i area where rituals of shirk are done every year and
the people whip themselves with chains in mourning for al-Husayn, or
so they say.Now we, the sons, are confused: should we go against our
father and prevent him from buying a house in this area, or should we
give in to what he wants out of obedience to him even though we are
ableto stop him from doing that?
Does this come under the heading of moving away from places of shirk?
What are its conditions and obligations? Please note that my father is
a religiously committed man, but he is influenced by the place where
he grew up.
Praise be to Allaah.
Parents have to understand that Allah, may He be exalted, has made
them shepherds oftheir families and they will be responsible for them
on the Day of Resurrection, as it was narrated that 'Abd-Allah ibn
'Umar said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) say: "Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is
responsible for hisflock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and is
responsible for hisflock. A man is the shepherd of his household and
is responsible for his flock…" Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 853;
Muslim,1829.
Allah, may He be exalted,has instructed the believers to protect
themselves and their families from the Fire of Hell, as He says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a
Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed)
angels stern (and) severe…"
[al-Tahreem 66:6].
Hence we can say to the good father that staying among people of
extreme innovation and corrupt beliefs poses a danger to you and your
family in terms being influenced by their beliefs. If the father is
religiously committed and feels safe, in sha Allah, against their
misguidance and innovations, and if you are likewise, the danger still
exists for your offspring and children.
Because we know that those innovators are the Raafidis, then our
warning to you is further emphasized because there is the fearfor you
and your family that they may cause you real harm, and real life
events in your country testify to that. So you should not let emotion
take precedence over reason and religious commitment; rather you
should reconsider the idea of your staying among those who carry out
rituals of shirk and revile the best of this ummah, namely the
Companions of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him). The scholars have stated thatif the believer does not feel
that he or his family are safe from fitnah or that he cannot openly
practice his religion, then he has to leave his home and migrate, and
it makes no difference whether his land is a land of evildoing,
innovation or shirk. If the Muslim is in such a land, then he has to
leave it, so how about if he chooses to go and live in the land and
among those people who openly practise shirk in the name of Islam and
revile the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) and denounce Ahl
al-Sunnah as disbelievers?!
Ibn al-'Arabi al-Maaliki (may Allah have mercy on him) said,
describing the types of migration:
… The second is migration from the land of innovation. Ibn al-Qaasim
said: I heard Maalik say: It is not permissible for anyone to stay in
a land in whichthe salaf (early generations of Muslims) are reviled.
And this is true. If the one who objects to evil is not able to change
it then he should keep away from it. Allah, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And when you (Muhammad) see those who engage in a false conversation
about Our Verses (of the Qur'ân) by mocking at them, stay away from
them till they turn to another topic. And if Shaitân (Satan) causes
you to forget, then after the remembrance sit not youin the company of
those people who are the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong-doers)"
[al-An'aam 6:68].
End quote from Ahkaam al-Qur'aan, 2/412, 413
What we think is that your father should avoidliving among the people
of that deviant sect, for the reasons mentioned above.
If your father insists on living in that place, after you have tried
to advise him in the best way, thatyou have to beware of the plots and
the evil of the Raafidis and take precautions to protect your
religious commitment against the fitnah of their religious practices;
try to ensure that your closest neighbours are Sunnis who live in that
area.
What we suggest to you is do not buy a house or land in that place;
rathertry to make your stay there temporary in the hope that Allah
will guide your father and he will become convinced to keep away from
that place and choose somewhere better than it.
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And Allah Knows the Best!
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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA
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