Riding the Waves of Life

"When the seas of life arerough, grab a surfboard and ride the waves."
That's something my old friend Samayya used to say. Actually she used
to say that she was "boogie boarding on the waves of life."
So what does it really mean to ride the waves of life? Does it mean
that the problems of life are irrelevant and we can just surf over
them and have fun?
Not at all. If you know Samayya, then you know that life has never
been easy for her. She was married to an abusive man, got divorced and
raised a child on her ownwhile working multiple jobs, and yet she
always found a way to move forward. She never stopped seeking truth
and growth. She struggled to provide for her children, not only
financially but Islamically as well. Nothing was everhanded to her.
She has had to work hard for every single step forward. So when she
says she's boogie boarding on the waves of life, you can be sure that
it's not the whimsical statement of some spoiled trust fund kid.
1. Don't panic: Everyone Experiences Hardship
To me, Samayya's statement is first of all an acknowledgement that
life is hard – sometimes extremely so. Allah says,
"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a
loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the
patient, who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeedwe belong to
Allah , and indeed to Him we will return. Those are the ones upon whom
are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is thosewho are the
[rightly] guided." - Quran 2:155-157
The philosopher Philo of Alexandria said, "Be kind,for everyone you
meet is fighting a great battle." But we often don't see into the
depths of affliction that other people are experiencing. We pass
people on the street, or we see them in the masjid, and we don't
realize that one person has a parent dying of cancer; another is
caring for an aunt who suffers from dementia; another has a disabled
or mentally ill child; anotheris living in an abusive relationship and
cannot find a way out; another isfacing the loss of his home; another
has experienced divorce and is feeling the anguish of heartbreak and
loneliness. (These are all examples from people I know in my own
life).
We don't see these thingson the faces of strangers, and even the
people we work with often keep such things to themselves. Maybe they
don't want to burden us, or maybe they don't feel close enough to tell
us, ormaybe they don't want to be seen as complainers. So we sometimes
imagine that we are the only ones suffering.
When we know that every single person on this planet experiences pain
and loss, we will notpanic or despair when it happens to us. We will
recognize that such trials are a part of life, and we can survive and
come through the other side.
2. Trust in Allah's Plan for You
People often ask, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" The
problem is that we human beings have narrow vision. Compared to Allah,
we know nothing. A thing may seem bad, when in reality it is good for
our souls or our futures. If you can permit me a clichéd example, you
might miss an important flight and think that it's adisaster, then the
plane crashes and you realize your life was saved. In reality the
consequences will not always be so obvious. You might be engaged to
someone andso excited, then the engagement falls through and you are
heartbroken and asking, "Why did this happen?" And what you don't see
isthat maybe the person was unfaithful, or has a drug problem, or is
violent, and Allah has saved you from a life of misery.
As Allah says,
But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you
love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows,while you know
not. – Quran 2:216
So trust in Allah's plan foryou. This is why belief in Qadar (Divine
predestination) is one our pillars of imaan (faith). Because we
believe that Allah loves us, and is caring for us and guiding us, even
in times of misfortune.
3. Don't Think That You are Being Punished
In the same vein, so manypeople seem to think thathardships are a
punishment from Allah. They write to IslamicAnswers.com – another of
my websites – and they say, "Why is Allah angry with me? When will
Allah stop punishing me?"
SubhanAllah, the truth is just the opposite. Allah attaches no value
to the things of this world. That's why you see so many of the corrupt
and powerful living in material luxury. They are being given rope with
which to hang themselves. Material comforts are meaninglessto Allah.
If Allah wants good for you, He tests you. Allah causes us to suffer
in this life so that we can be purified, so we can grow and be ready
for Jannah.
Doesn't He say in the Quran:
Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and
they will not be tried? But We have certainly tried thosebefore them,
and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will
surely make evident the liars. – Quran 29:2-3
The waves of life run roughshod over everyone . If you read about the
lives of the Prophets, they all suffered in one way or another, some
to an extreme degree.
Our Noble Messenger Muhammad (pbuh) neverknew his father, then losthis
mother at a young age, then his grandfather. He had garbage dumped on
his back in Makkah, and stones thrown at him in Ta'if until his shoes
filled with blood. He lost his wife Khadijah (ra) because of the
hardship of the boycott against the Muslims. He lost his son. He
suffered .
Look at the lives of the Sahabah; many were tortured, and some were
tortured to death . Do youthink that Allah was punishing them? No, He
was martyring them! They were heroes!
4. Check Yourself
Even if your misfortune isa punishment, it's still a blessing because
it means that Allah has chosen to punish you in this dunya (earthly
life) for your sins, rather than subject you to the much worse
punishment of the aakhirah (hereafter). That is a kindness from Allah,
and He would not do it if He did not love you.
The other reason we are punished is so that we can learn and do
better. When we punish our children, it's not because we hate them,
but because we love them and we want them to learn and become better
human beings. Allah also loves us, and wants us to be purified, and to
fulfill our potential. That is a blessing from Allah.
So if you seem to be going through constant hardships, check
yourself.Be brutally honest as you assess your life. Ask yourself, "Am
I still on thestraight path, or have I wandered? Am I living my life
according to the Quran? Am I taking the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) as
my example? Am I sincere with people and myself?"
Recognize that if the misfortune you have experienced causes you to
analyze your life honestly and make positive changes, then there was a
purpose behind the pain. That toois a blessing.
5. Find Solace in the Simple Joys
We have established that no one is exempt from misfortune in this
life. The question is how to handle it. How do we deal with pain and
loss so that it does not overwhelm us? How do we continue to find
happiness in life?
To continue the waves metaphor, I was once knocked down by a largewave
when I was twelve years old. I lived in Tripoli, Libya at the time and
used to spend much of my free time at the beach. I was in water up to
my waist or so, when ahuge wave slammed into me and dragged me along
the bottom, under water, tumbling me over and over. I was panicked and
frightened and swallowed a lot of water.When I recovered, my skin was
scraped raw from the sand, and I knelton the beach, coughing up sea
water.
Other times I'd time the wave's entry and body surf on top. That was
so much fun.
Surfing atop the waves means that your troubles don't totally grind
you upand scrape your spirit raw like that wave did to me. Instead you
find solace in your relationship with Allah, and in the simple joys
of life. Sit down with your child on a cold evening and have a cup of
hot chocolate, and savor the rich taste. Pray Fajr then watch the sun
rise, and listen as the birds begin to wake and sing. Buy a camera and
take photographs of beautifulthings in nature, or anything that you
find appealing. Read the Quran, go for a hike, playfrisbee with your
friends.Devote some attention toyour hobbies, whether it be writing
poetry, knitting, running, or any other productive past time.
6. Be Grateful
Whatever blows hit you, you have been given the greatest gift and
blessingof all: Islam. It was not done because of any special merit
on your part. You are not more worthy of Islam than a poor herdsman
from Ethiopia, or a Japanese fisherman. It's only the grace of Allah.
Be grateful for your ability to see and hear, and for the food on your
table, and the roof over your head. You can't imagine living without
any of these things, but so many people do not have them! Focus on
what you have been given, rather than what you have been denied.
7. Keep a Sense of Wonder
Going back to my friend Samayya for a moment, I think one of the
reasons she has come through life's hardships so well is that she
continues to cultivate a sense of wonder. She is in awe of Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala. She goes outside with her children to gazeat the
full moon. She can be inspired by an ayah from Quran, and moved by a
poem. Her sense of wonder keeps her spirit young, and her innocence
alive. She knows how to laugh. I won't say that she doesn't struggle
with anger, bitterness and fear, but don't we all? The trick is to not
let those negative emotions consume us. Experience them, then let them
go, and return to the sense of awe and wonder that makes us tremble
before Allah.
Read my recent poem, Fillit With Al-Fatihah , which deals with this
process of finding joy amid pain.
8. Reach Out to Others
When you are suffering, reach out in two ways. First, go to someone
you can trust and tell him or her about your problems.There is value
in sharing your pain. You may not want to burden someoneelse, but a
true friend willbe there for you, and willbe happy to listen. There is
a proverb: Happiness shared is happiness doubled; sadness shared is
sadness halved.
Second, reach out to others who are in pain and comfort them. You may
think you have nothing to offer, but you'd be surprised what a little
bit of gentleness can do. A kind word and a pat on the shoulder cando
wonders, and in the process you will experience a human moment, a
connection, that will help you with your own problems as well.
9. Accept Change
It's been said that chaos brings growth and liberty; while order
brings habit and stagnation. From the most difficult periods of your
life will come change. Continuing the waves metaphor, ocean waves keep
the beach clean by carrying away dead matter and debris; and they
bring in fresh water and food for the tide pools. At the same time the
waves leave behind beautiful sea shells and driftwood for collectors.
Think about a beach and how popular it is. Would anyone go to a beach
if ithad no ocean, or no waves? People go there to experience the
motionof the waves rushing in and out. The sea shore is a place of
constant change and renewal, andthat is its beauty.
I mentioned that I once got knocked down by a wave, and that sometimes
I would surf atop the waves. Well, other times I would dive straight
into the large waves. By diving into the center of the wave, you
negate its power and youcome out on the other side unharmed.
Diving into the wave means that you accept the hardship that has come
into your life. You approach it with sabr (patience) and
determination, trusting Allah, knowing that He will bring you through.
You embrace the lesson that it brings, for every single hardship in
life – big or small -carries a lesson.
To use an example from my own life, I went through a divorce in 2008,
then I was engagedto be married in 2009 and that relationship failed
as well. I went through a period when I was deeply depressed and
confused. I could notunderstand why Allah had led me down such a
lonely path. But I persevered. I kept my faith in Allah, and I tried
to be a good father to mydaughter. I continued working, writing, and
practicing martial arts. I also looked deeply into my own actions, and
questioned my own sincerity. I concluded thatregardless of what
mistakes other people may have made, I bore a share of responsibility
formy misfortunes. In my marriage, I was not fully present. For
various reasons, I held back someof my love. In the relationship that
followed, I was not 100% patient and trusting. I allowed my
insecurities and fears to get the best of me at times.
Coming to these realizations allows me the opportunity to do better
next time. I have pledged to hold nothing back with my future wife,
Insha'Allah, whoever that may be; to release all the immense love that
I have; and to be patient and trusting atthe times when I am mostfull
of fear. I have also become a better father, abetter writer, and a
better martial artist.
My pain was not wasted because I learned from it.I dived into the wave
andcame out the other side, confident that I am a better human being,
and that I will do better next time, Insha'Allah.
10. Ponder True Victory
There are two kinds of true victory. Neither one includes material
wealth, which is fleeting and ultimately meaningless:
"Whatever you have will end, but what Allah has islasting. And We will
surely give those who were patient their reward according to the best
of what they used todo." - Quran 16:96
The first true victory is spiritual success. That is recognizing
Allah's guidance, following it, sticking to it, and being grateful for
it. It's a victory because it helps us to live lives of meaning and
purpose, and to be peaceful and patient.

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And Allah knows best./

The Fisherman

An investment banker was at the pier of a smallcoastal village when a
small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were
several large yellow fin tuna. The investment banker complimented the
fisherman on the qualityof his fish and asked how long it took to
catch them.
The fisherman replied,"Only a little while."
The investment banker then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and
catch more fish?"
The fisherman said,"With this I have more than enough to support my
family's needs."
The investment banker then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of
your time?"
The fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my
children, take siesta with my wife,stroll into the village each
evening and spend time with my family, I have a full and busy life."
The investment banker scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you.
You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a
bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy
several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.
Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly
to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would
control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to
leave this small coastal fishing village and move to a big town and
eventually to the thecity where you will run your ever-expanding
enterprise."
The fisherman asked,"But, how long will this all take?"
To which the investmentbanker replied, "15 to 20years."
"But what then?" asked the fisherman.
The investment banker laughed and said that's the best part. "When the
time is right you would announce an IPO and sellyour company stock to
the public and become very rich, you would make millions."
"Millions?...Then what?"
The investment banker said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small
coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little,
play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village
in theevenings and spend timewith your family."

Prayer of a Sick Person

Imam Baihaqi has stated on the authority of Hadhrat Ali (ra) who
stated: "Once, I was present with the Prophet (peace be upon him). At
that time, I had fallen so much sick that I prayed to Allah Almighty
to grant me death if I amdestined to die so that I may get relief from
the sickness, otherwise, I may be restored to normal health from the
sickness if I have to live for sometime. I, also, prayed for being
granted patience if this sickness is a test for me from Allah
Almighty." Hearing that, the Prophet beat Ali with hisfoot and
observed: "Oh Ali! repeat what you were saying." Ali (ra) repeated his
prayer. Then the Prophet prayedto Allah Almighty: "O Allah! Heal him
from the sickness." Ali (ra) stated that he became healthy the same
day and the pain never appeared again.
Source: From the book"The Miracles of the Prophet Muhammad" by Shaikh
Ahmed Saeed Dehalvi.

Questions and Answers on Jinns

Question 1: Who are the jinn?
The jinn are among the creatures that Allah (swt)created. Allah (swt)
created angels, jinn, mankind, animals, plantsand others. Jinn have
some qualities like human beings. These qualities are intellect,
discrimination, freedom,and the power to choosebetween right and
wrong, between true and false, as well as between good and bad.
Question 2: When did Allah (swt) create the jinn?
Allah (swt) created the jinn before Adam (pbuh)was created. Both were
created in heaven and lived in paradise. One may read in Surah
Al-Hijr(The Rocky Tract) [Qur'an, 15:26-27]. However, nothing was
mentioned about the duration of time of the jinn's creation before
Adam (pbuh).
Question 3: What are jinn created from?
Jinn are created from fire of hot wind [Qur'an, 15:27]; and from
smokeless fire [Qur'an, 55:15]. They were originally made from fire
and then molded and shaped in the form and shape that Allah (swt)
wanted them to be.
Question 4: Do jinn have bodies?
Yes and no! It depends upon the information that one has. One group of
scholars believe that jinn do not have bodies of their own. They also
do not inhabit bodies of other creatures. However, they do exist
independently by themselves. Therefore, they do not know how they
exist without bodies: smoke, flame, fire or what?
The other group of scholars do believe that jinn do have bodies either
definite or subtle. If their bodies are definite then they have some
density; otherwise,if they are subtle, then they are so fine that our
weak eyes cannot see them. One may read Surah Al-A'raf (The Heights)
[Qur'an, 7:27]. Even if they are subtle they should have weightand
density similar to that of the air itself.
Question 5: Do jinn die?
Yes. Jinn do die. As long as they are creatures created by Allah
(swt), they should die. They arecreatures that marry, produce
children, eat, drink, and die like all other creatures in the
universe. One may read Qur'an Surah Al-Rahman (The Most Merciful)
[Qur'an, 55:26-28].
Question 6: Do the jinn feel envy of us?
Yes. There are two types of evil eye: human and the jinn. One has to
read regularly 'A'oozu Billahi Minash-shaitanir Rajeem. Also, by
reading Ayah Al-Kursi and Al-Mu'awwazatain, one will be protected from
the evil eyes of both the jinn and mankind.
Question 7: Are there messengers and prophets from within the community of jinn?
Yes. Allah (swt) has sent prophets and messengers to jinn from within
the jinn community. Also, Allah (swt) sent Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to
mankind, to jinn, and to other creatures. In SurahAl-An'am (The
Cattle), Allah (swt) explains that He sent messengers to men and to
jinn. See Qur'an [6:130].
Question 8: Do jinn have different religions, sects and denominations?
In Surah Al-Jinn (Ch. 72), Allah (swt) informs us that some jinn
accepted Islam, while others refused. Those who refused have deviated,
and developed for themselves different methods, different ways of
life, and different religions, sects and denominations.
Question 9: Do jinn marry and have children?
Yes. Jinn do marry and they do have children. The way they marry is
not known to us yet. We may be able to know thefuture if Allah (swt)
wants us to know.
People never knew about microbes, viruses, and the unseen micro
creatures. Now we are able to know many things about their life
cycles, their life duration, their methods of duplication or
reproduction: sexually and asexually. The mere fact that we do not
know how the jinn marry and reproduce does not negate their being
married and reproduced. The Qur'an stipulates in Surah Al-Kahf (18:50)
that they have offsprings. Similarly, the Qur'an states in Surah
Al-Rahman (55:56) that jinn and human beings never touched
(married)the ladies of paradise.
Question 10: Do jinn have animals as pets?
Yes. Jinn do have animals or beasts of their own. The Prophet (pbuh)
mentioned that every piece of dung is fodder for the beasts of the
jinn. However, we do not know what type of beasts the jinn have. The
same thing is to be said as to the varieties ofbeasts, their number,
their shape, their size, their weight and so on.
Question 11: Do jinn have homes of their own?
Yes. The jinn do have homes. They live all over the planet earth.
However, there are special places that one may find them in abundance
and on a regular basis. These are deserts, ruins, places of impurities
such as dunghills, bathrooms and graveyards. They live in houses of
human beings too. For those who enter their houses mentioning the name
of Allah (swt), the jinn cannot have a place to stay overnight in that
house. If the people of the house mention the name of Allah (swt)
before eating, then the shaitan will not be able to eat with them.
Question 12: Is it true that animals see jinn andangels?
Yes. Animals do see angels and shaitan. When a rooster sees an angel,
it starts crowing. However, when a donkey starts braying it is seeing
a jinn.