His name is John, tall, brown eyes, brown hair. He's native, so am I.
When we were about 12 years old or so.. I got dared to kiss him, so I
did. I didn't really think anything of it until the winter of 2010. He
was with his pregnant girlfriend, I was with his cousin at the time.
We were teengagers: he was 17, I was 16. His cousin (my boyfriend at
the time) fell asleep on the other side of my queen mattress, John
layed next to me. Me and John began to talk about everything we ever
could.. knowing we had that time alone. He held me, he looked into my
eyes with his beautiful brown eyes and told me he wanted me. I wanted
him so badly. But, I knew it in my heart that it wouldn't work. He had
a girlfriend that was pregnant, and I was with his cousin. I told him
this,he said he also knew it wasn't the right thing to do. So, we
never talked about it ever again.
Although he could never be mine, he continued to act like he was. He
wouldlook at me differently, like, iloveyou looks. Then,this spring of
2012, I tookhim for a honda ride. We parked at the beach, he began to
tell me everything. He told me loved me and that he always did, always
will. We kissed, well, it turned into more than a kiss. Wehad an
intense makeout. Today, we're both over the ages of 18. We can't be
together. He has a girlfriend and a child with her. It's like a tragic
love story, from what I think. I can never have him and he can never
have me. Instead, we look at eachother and think about what could've
been. I'm not asking for advice, I just felt like this was a story I
needed to tell.
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Monday, October 15, 2012
Story | - Since we were kids
"Love your friend moderately
"Love your friend moderately lest he becomes your enemy oneday, and
hate your enemy moderately lest hebecomes your friend one day!"
Tirmidhi
When we get extremely close to people and lower our guard by letting
them know every detail of our life, trusting them with everything, a
day can come when we regret because they can hold us ransom with what
they know about usif the friendship is broken for some reason.
At times we cannot correct people because we have allowed them toget
so close to us that they would use against us some of what they know
of us.
Similarly when we dislikesomeone, we should never oppress them or
dosomething unbecoming of a true believer as a day may come when a
strong friendship is developed between us and we are embarrassed by
past actions.
Amazing piece of advice which is worth pondering over and making good
use of in our lives. An enemy can become a very great friend or
relative and a friend can become a fierce enemy.
"The Almighty is all able to create between you and your enemies a
strong bond of friendship for indeed Allah is All Able, Allah is Most
Forgiving Most Merciful"
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hate your enemy moderately lest hebecomes your friend one day!"
Tirmidhi
When we get extremely close to people and lower our guard by letting
them know every detail of our life, trusting them with everything, a
day can come when we regret because they can hold us ransom with what
they know about usif the friendship is broken for some reason.
At times we cannot correct people because we have allowed them toget
so close to us that they would use against us some of what they know
of us.
Similarly when we dislikesomeone, we should never oppress them or
dosomething unbecoming of a true believer as a day may come when a
strong friendship is developed between us and we are embarrassed by
past actions.
Amazing piece of advice which is worth pondering over and making good
use of in our lives. An enemy can become a very great friend or
relative and a friend can become a fierce enemy.
"The Almighty is all able to create between you and your enemies a
strong bond of friendship for indeed Allah is All Able, Allah is Most
Forgiving Most Merciful"
--
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Translate:
http://translate.google.com/
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Islamic Article | - Conditions of udhiyah
I intend to offer a sacrifice on behalf of myself and my children. Are
there any specific characteristics that the animal should have, or
isit correct to sacrifice anysheep?.
Praise be to Allaah.
There are six conditions for the udhiyah:
-1-
It should be one of the an'aam class of animals, which are: camels,
cattle,sheep and goats, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And for every nation We have appointed religious ceremonies, that
they may mention the Name of Allaah over the beast of cattle that He
has given them for food"
[al-Hajj 22:34]
Baheemat al-an'aam (translated here as "beast of cattle") includes
camels, cattle and sheep. This is what is well known among the Arabs,
and this was the view of al-Hasan, Qataadah and others.
-2-
It should have reached the age stipulated in sharee'ah, which is six
months for a sheep and the age at which the animal is considered to
be an adult for any otheranimal, because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Do not sacrifice anything but
anadult animal, unless it is difficult for you, in which case you may
slaughter a six-month old lamb (jadh'ah)." Narrated by Muslim.
A mature animal means one that is considered tobe an adult.
In the case of camels it means one that is five years old.
For cattle, it means one that is two years old.
For sheep it means one that is a year old.
The jadh'ah is that which is half a year old. So it is not correct to
sacrifice a camel, cow or goat that has not yet reached maturity, or a
sheep that is less than sixmonths old.
-3-
It should be free of any faults that would render it unsuitable for
sacrifice, of which there are four:
1 – An obvious defect in one eye, such as when the eye is sunken in
its socket, or when it sticks out like a button, or is white and
obviously defective.
2 – Obvious sickness, whose symptoms are clearly apparent in the
animal, such as fever that prevents it from grazing and causes loss of
appetite; mange that obviously affects its fleshor its health; deep
wounds that affect its health, and so on.
3 – Obvious lameness, which prevents the animal from walking normally.
4 – Emaciation that leaves no marrow in the bones, when the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about what
should be avoided in udhiyah, he gestured with his hand and said:
"Four: a lame animal which is obviously lame, a one-eyed animal whose
defect is obvious, a sick animal whose sickness isobvious, and an
emaciated animal that no one would choose." Narrated by Maalik in
al-Muwatta' from the hadeeth of al-Bara' ibn 'Aazib. According to a
hadeeth narrated from him in al-Sunan, he said: "The Messenger of
Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up among us
and said: 'There are four which are not permissible for sacrifice,'"
and he mentioned something similar. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Irwa' al-Ghaleel, 1148.
These four faults render an animal unsuitable for sacrifice, and they
include similar faults or more severe faults. So the following animals
are also unsuitable for sacrifice:
1- One that is blind in both eyes.
2- One that has eaten more than it can stand, until the danger has passed.
3- One that has encountered difficulty ingiving birth, until all
danger has passed.
4- One that has suffered something that could kill it, such as
strangulation or a fall from a high place, until the danger has
passed.
5- One that is unable to walk because of a defect.
6- One that has had one of its forelegs or hind legs cut off.
If these are added to thefour defects mentioned in the text, the
number of those that cannot be offered as sacrifices reaches ten –
these six and the four mentioned above.
-4-
The animal should belong to the person who is offering the sacrifice,
or he should have permission for that either on the grounds
ofsharee'ah or from the owner. The sacrifice is not valid if the
animal slaughtered does not belong to the person who is sacrificing
it, suchas one that has been taken by force, stolen, ortaken on the
basis of a false claim, etc, because it is not permissible to draw
closer to Allaah by means of sin. A sacrifice offered by the guardian
of an orphan from the orphan's property is valid if that is customary
and if he feels sad about not offering a sacrifice.
A sacrifice offered by a guardian from the property of the person
under his care is valid, if done with permission.
-5-
No one else should have any rights to the sacrificial animal; the
sacrifice of an animal that is held in pledge is not valid.
-6-
It should be slaughtered at the time specified in sharee'ah, which is
from after the Eid prayer on the Day of Sacrifice until sunset on the
last of the days of al-Tashreeq, which is the 13th of Dhu'l-Hijjah. So
the days when the sacrificed may be offered are four: the day of Eid
after the prayer, and the three days after that. Whoeverslaughters it
before the Eid prayer is over, or after sun sets on the 13th of
Dhu'l-Hijjah, his sacrifice is not valid, because of the hadeeth
narrated by al-Bukhaari from al-Bara' ibn 'Aazib (may Allaah be
pleased with him), according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever slaughters (his sacrifice)
before the prayer, it is meat that he has brought to his family, but
that is not the sacrifice." And he narrated that Jundub ibn Sufyaan
al-Bajali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "I heard the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
saying, 'Whoever slaughters the sacrifice before he prays, let him
replace it with another.'" And it was narrated that
Nubayshahal-Hadhali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
'The days of al-Tashreeq are the days of eating, drinking and
remembering Allaah.'" Narrated by Muslim.
But if he has an excuse for delaying it beyond the days of Tashreeq,
such as if the animal ran away, without there being any negligence
onhis part, and he could not find it until after the time was over, or
he appointed someone else to slaughter it and that person forgot until
the time was over, then there is nothing wrong with slaughtering it
after the appointed time. This is by analogy with the one who sleeps
and misses a prayer, or forgets it – he should pray it as soon as he
wakes up or remember it.
It is permissible to slaughter the udhiyah atany time, night or day,
but it is better to slaughter it during the day, and it is better to
slaughter on the day of Eid after the two khutbahs. Each day is better
than the day that follows it, because that means that one is hastening
to do good.
there any specific characteristics that the animal should have, or
isit correct to sacrifice anysheep?.
Praise be to Allaah.
There are six conditions for the udhiyah:
-1-
It should be one of the an'aam class of animals, which are: camels,
cattle,sheep and goats, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And for every nation We have appointed religious ceremonies, that
they may mention the Name of Allaah over the beast of cattle that He
has given them for food"
[al-Hajj 22:34]
Baheemat al-an'aam (translated here as "beast of cattle") includes
camels, cattle and sheep. This is what is well known among the Arabs,
and this was the view of al-Hasan, Qataadah and others.
-2-
It should have reached the age stipulated in sharee'ah, which is six
months for a sheep and the age at which the animal is considered to
be an adult for any otheranimal, because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Do not sacrifice anything but
anadult animal, unless it is difficult for you, in which case you may
slaughter a six-month old lamb (jadh'ah)." Narrated by Muslim.
A mature animal means one that is considered tobe an adult.
In the case of camels it means one that is five years old.
For cattle, it means one that is two years old.
For sheep it means one that is a year old.
The jadh'ah is that which is half a year old. So it is not correct to
sacrifice a camel, cow or goat that has not yet reached maturity, or a
sheep that is less than sixmonths old.
-3-
It should be free of any faults that would render it unsuitable for
sacrifice, of which there are four:
1 – An obvious defect in one eye, such as when the eye is sunken in
its socket, or when it sticks out like a button, or is white and
obviously defective.
2 – Obvious sickness, whose symptoms are clearly apparent in the
animal, such as fever that prevents it from grazing and causes loss of
appetite; mange that obviously affects its fleshor its health; deep
wounds that affect its health, and so on.
3 – Obvious lameness, which prevents the animal from walking normally.
4 – Emaciation that leaves no marrow in the bones, when the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about what
should be avoided in udhiyah, he gestured with his hand and said:
"Four: a lame animal which is obviously lame, a one-eyed animal whose
defect is obvious, a sick animal whose sickness isobvious, and an
emaciated animal that no one would choose." Narrated by Maalik in
al-Muwatta' from the hadeeth of al-Bara' ibn 'Aazib. According to a
hadeeth narrated from him in al-Sunan, he said: "The Messenger of
Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up among us
and said: 'There are four which are not permissible for sacrifice,'"
and he mentioned something similar. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Irwa' al-Ghaleel, 1148.
These four faults render an animal unsuitable for sacrifice, and they
include similar faults or more severe faults. So the following animals
are also unsuitable for sacrifice:
1- One that is blind in both eyes.
2- One that has eaten more than it can stand, until the danger has passed.
3- One that has encountered difficulty ingiving birth, until all
danger has passed.
4- One that has suffered something that could kill it, such as
strangulation or a fall from a high place, until the danger has
passed.
5- One that is unable to walk because of a defect.
6- One that has had one of its forelegs or hind legs cut off.
If these are added to thefour defects mentioned in the text, the
number of those that cannot be offered as sacrifices reaches ten –
these six and the four mentioned above.
-4-
The animal should belong to the person who is offering the sacrifice,
or he should have permission for that either on the grounds
ofsharee'ah or from the owner. The sacrifice is not valid if the
animal slaughtered does not belong to the person who is sacrificing
it, suchas one that has been taken by force, stolen, ortaken on the
basis of a false claim, etc, because it is not permissible to draw
closer to Allaah by means of sin. A sacrifice offered by the guardian
of an orphan from the orphan's property is valid if that is customary
and if he feels sad about not offering a sacrifice.
A sacrifice offered by a guardian from the property of the person
under his care is valid, if done with permission.
-5-
No one else should have any rights to the sacrificial animal; the
sacrifice of an animal that is held in pledge is not valid.
-6-
It should be slaughtered at the time specified in sharee'ah, which is
from after the Eid prayer on the Day of Sacrifice until sunset on the
last of the days of al-Tashreeq, which is the 13th of Dhu'l-Hijjah. So
the days when the sacrificed may be offered are four: the day of Eid
after the prayer, and the three days after that. Whoeverslaughters it
before the Eid prayer is over, or after sun sets on the 13th of
Dhu'l-Hijjah, his sacrifice is not valid, because of the hadeeth
narrated by al-Bukhaari from al-Bara' ibn 'Aazib (may Allaah be
pleased with him), according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever slaughters (his sacrifice)
before the prayer, it is meat that he has brought to his family, but
that is not the sacrifice." And he narrated that Jundub ibn Sufyaan
al-Bajali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "I heard the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
saying, 'Whoever slaughters the sacrifice before he prays, let him
replace it with another.'" And it was narrated that
Nubayshahal-Hadhali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
'The days of al-Tashreeq are the days of eating, drinking and
remembering Allaah.'" Narrated by Muslim.
But if he has an excuse for delaying it beyond the days of Tashreeq,
such as if the animal ran away, without there being any negligence
onhis part, and he could not find it until after the time was over, or
he appointed someone else to slaughter it and that person forgot until
the time was over, then there is nothing wrong with slaughtering it
after the appointed time. This is by analogy with the one who sleeps
and misses a prayer, or forgets it – he should pray it as soon as he
wakes up or remember it.
It is permissible to slaughter the udhiyah atany time, night or day,
but it is better to slaughter it during the day, and it is better to
slaughter on the day of Eid after the two khutbahs. Each day is better
than the day that follows it, because that means that one is hastening
to do good.
Islamic Article | - Innovated way of finding out whether a person is afflicted with the evil eye and treating it
I have a question about the evil eye. In my culture (I am originally
from Morocco), the women treat the evil eyeby this ceremony:
The sick person sits down (on a chair e.g.) while an other person
holds a glass of water above his head.
An other person (this canbe the same one as the one holding the
glass), lights a match and goes around the face of the sick person
with it, meanwhile reciting soerat al Faatihah. Note that the match
doesnt touch the face of the sickperson. After a few seconds, the
match is thrown in the glass of water above the head ofthe sick person
and a second match gets lighten.
This is done seven times.
When done, the person who is doing this, takes the glass of water and
touches all the matches in the glass. When the matches go to the
bottom of the glass, it means that the sick person is afflicted by
theevil eye. They usually count the matches on the bottom to estimate
how sick the person is. The more matches on the bottom, the sicker
heis.
After this ceremony, people assume that the sick person is cured. I
think this is very untrustworthy, because Inever read something about
a glass and matches to treat the evil eye. Can you please tell me
whether this has a basic in islam or not?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The method mentioned of finding out whether aperson has been afflicted
with the evil eye and treating it is an innovated method (bid'ah) and
a reprehensible practice; itis not permissible to do it and it should
be forbidden and warned against. It is more like witchcraft and
devilish tricks than ruqyah as prescribed in Islam or regular medical
treatment.
Islam, praise be to Allah, did not omit anything that concerns people
butit has discussed it and explained it clearly. But the Shaytaan
still manages to mislead some people because of their ignorance of
Islam and the ways of bid'ah (innovation) that they are following.
Ruqya may be done by reciting al-Faatihah, and reciting al-Faatihah as
a remedy for sickness is something that has beenprescribed in
sharee'ah, but not in this innovatedfashion.
See the answer to question no. 21581 and 132386
Believing that something is a means when Allah has not made it a means
– eitheraccording to Islam or thelaws of nature that He has decreed –
is a kind of shirk. An example of that is regarding something as a
sign of healing or sickness, or ofsuccess or failure, when there is no
shar'i or physical connection between the two.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
So long as there is no proof that a thing is a means (to an end) –
either according to Islamor natural, physical laws – then it is a kind
of minor shirk. That includes, for example, charms and amulets that
are said to ward off the evil eye, and the like, because this is
deciding that something is a means to an end when Allah has not
created it to be such. Thus he is deciding about something being a
means to an end, which is something that is only for Allah to decide.
Hence this is like an act of shirk.
End quote from Majmoo'Fataawa Ibn 'Uthaymeen, 10/787
To sum up:
The method mentioned is an innovative and reprehensible method that is
more akin to the tricks of the practitioners of witchcraft and
charlatans.
For information on the symptoms of affliction with the evil eye please
see the answer to question no. 125543
For more information onways of protecting oneself from the evil eyeand
treating one who has been affected by it
from Morocco), the women treat the evil eyeby this ceremony:
The sick person sits down (on a chair e.g.) while an other person
holds a glass of water above his head.
An other person (this canbe the same one as the one holding the
glass), lights a match and goes around the face of the sick person
with it, meanwhile reciting soerat al Faatihah. Note that the match
doesnt touch the face of the sickperson. After a few seconds, the
match is thrown in the glass of water above the head ofthe sick person
and a second match gets lighten.
This is done seven times.
When done, the person who is doing this, takes the glass of water and
touches all the matches in the glass. When the matches go to the
bottom of the glass, it means that the sick person is afflicted by
theevil eye. They usually count the matches on the bottom to estimate
how sick the person is. The more matches on the bottom, the sicker
heis.
After this ceremony, people assume that the sick person is cured. I
think this is very untrustworthy, because Inever read something about
a glass and matches to treat the evil eye. Can you please tell me
whether this has a basic in islam or not?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The method mentioned of finding out whether aperson has been afflicted
with the evil eye and treating it is an innovated method (bid'ah) and
a reprehensible practice; itis not permissible to do it and it should
be forbidden and warned against. It is more like witchcraft and
devilish tricks than ruqyah as prescribed in Islam or regular medical
treatment.
Islam, praise be to Allah, did not omit anything that concerns people
butit has discussed it and explained it clearly. But the Shaytaan
still manages to mislead some people because of their ignorance of
Islam and the ways of bid'ah (innovation) that they are following.
Ruqya may be done by reciting al-Faatihah, and reciting al-Faatihah as
a remedy for sickness is something that has beenprescribed in
sharee'ah, but not in this innovatedfashion.
See the answer to question no. 21581 and 132386
Believing that something is a means when Allah has not made it a means
– eitheraccording to Islam or thelaws of nature that He has decreed –
is a kind of shirk. An example of that is regarding something as a
sign of healing or sickness, or ofsuccess or failure, when there is no
shar'i or physical connection between the two.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
So long as there is no proof that a thing is a means (to an end) –
either according to Islamor natural, physical laws – then it is a kind
of minor shirk. That includes, for example, charms and amulets that
are said to ward off the evil eye, and the like, because this is
deciding that something is a means to an end when Allah has not
created it to be such. Thus he is deciding about something being a
means to an end, which is something that is only for Allah to decide.
Hence this is like an act of shirk.
End quote from Majmoo'Fataawa Ibn 'Uthaymeen, 10/787
To sum up:
The method mentioned is an innovative and reprehensible method that is
more akin to the tricks of the practitioners of witchcraft and
charlatans.
For information on the symptoms of affliction with the evil eye please
see the answer to question no. 125543
For more information onways of protecting oneself from the evil eyeand
treating one who has been affected by it
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