3] 5 Ways to Reconnect with the Spirituality of Ramadan

3]
Ramadan, the ninth month in the Islamic calendar, is special to
millions of Muslims worldwide as a holy period dedicated to fasting,
self-purification, and spiritual attainment. Every year the world's
Muslims redesign their lifeto focus on the goals of Ramadan: A
whole-body awareness of God and a humble thankfulness for whatever
blessings He hasgranted.
But Ramadan in non-Muslim countries can be more challenging, as
Muslims try to navigate the requirements and recommendations of
Ramadan–fasting from sunrise to sunset, fitting in the five daily
prayers attheir appointed times, attending special evening tarawih
prayers at the mosque, and reading the Qur'an each day for an entire
month–while juggling the demands of work, school, and family.
While I passed lunchtime in my junior high school guidance counselor's
office during Ramadan, or sneaked a date and waterto break fast during
an evening class in college, or grabbed five minutes in my editor's
office to pray at my first job, my cousins in the United ArabEmirates,
Saudi Arabia, and in Pakistan enjoyed half-days at school and work and
a week's vacation for Eid-ul-Fitr, the holiday at the end of Ramadan.
But I figure, though it's harder to fast and heighten spirituality
when everyone around you isn't joining in, it sure makes the inner
striving more special. And 18 years of fasting in this country have
taught me some valuable strategies for living a Muslim life in
anon-Muslim society while enjoying both.
Here are five practices I'vefound helpful in simplifying and
spiritualizing my Ramadan experience. And if you're not a Muslim,
these tips can be adapted to make your daily life a little more
spiritual and uncomplicated.
1. Take the Remembrance of God Inward
Do as much dhikr as you can during Ramadan
Do dhikr (reciting short du'as, or supplications) silently while
you're driving, waiting in line somewhere, or doing endless household
tasks. Keep a thasbi (the equivalent of a Muslim rosary) in your purse
or pocket and use it to countoff du'as.
Not Muslim? Spending whatever downtime you have to remember God or
peacefully meditate is a great idea for everyone. Thousands of hours
go by every year in our work commutes, in chauffeuring our kids
around, in keeping the house going. Why not try to use that time to
quiet our minds, remind ourselves of a higher being, and appreciate
what we've been given?
2. Appreciate Technology, and ThenTune It Out
In past Ramadans I always went on a sort of technology crash
diet–television, music, inane web surfing, and movies were all
self-banned for 30 days. All the extra time was designated for reading
Qur'an, praying, and reconnecting with my family. Well, crash diets
never work in the long term, and technology does keep the world
connected.
So the better thing to do is to use technology wisely: Use your email
to stay in contact with friends and family and seehow their month is
going,get the news from television and the Internet, watch one
favorite TV show to wind down, and use your ipod to listen to Muslim
books or Qur'anic prayers. And then, when basic needs have been met,
turn the technology off and take the extra time to pray andreconnect.
Not Muslim? The same rule can apply. Use the technology to do what you
need to do for work and family. But then, instead of spending
hourssurfing the web or TV channels, fight the urge and tune out.
Discover your family, and discover meditation and prayer. You can
start slow–cut out an hour of web surfing (or one TV program) every
week andbuild up.
The Al-Zaim family of Duxbury, Massachusetts sits, gathered together
fortheir dinner after 7pm on September 14th, 2008, to break their
Ramadan Fast.(Justine Hunt/Globe Staff Photo) #
3. Iftar as a Family
Having iftar as a family more often should be easier this Ramadan.
Muslims follow a lunar calendar, which moves Ramadan back 10 days
earlier each year. This year nearly half of the month will progress
with iftar time being around 7 p.m.–late enough for the family to be
home together. Breaking fast with the family is a great opportunity to
appreciate one another's holy efforts and discuss spiritual topics.
Not Muslim? The family dinner is a concept hammered home by family and
social organizations. Even some television stations, like Nickelodeon,
show promos advising us to "Make time for the family table." A weekly
or bi-weekly family dinner isa great time to reconnect, to learn about
each other,and to discuss a designated list of topics that are of
interest to your family.

--
- - - - - - -

Willing to Excel

This is all too familiar for a Muslim family who busy themselves
preparing for 'Iftar' - the dinner that marks the breaking of a
religious fast.
During the holy month of Ramadan, millions of Muslims from around the
globe will undergo a physical and mental abstinence known as fasting.
From the time dawn breaks in the morning, until the time the sun sets
at night, Muslims will refrain from eating or drinking, partaking in
sexual activity, speaking or actingin an obscene manner, or indulging
the mind and heart in things other than the remembrance of Allah. In
other words, for a period of 30 days, Muslims will focus on devoting
themselves to steady prayer and self-control.
Muslims Rise to the Challenge
This period of self-denial requires an incredible forceof will power,
and yet millions of Muslims worldwide will rise to the challenge. The
most addicted of smokers will give up their habits in order to comply
with the rules of fasting. Those like myself, with a strong
relationship to all things chocolate, will ignore the glistening
shimmer of a glazed doughnut and wait patiently for sundown to indulge
in sugary sweets. Even those with the occasional outburst of road rage
will simply grit their teeth and mutter the words '"Please watch out
Mr. cut-me-off" rather thanthe usual 'friendly' greeting.
Why Only in Ramadan?
This determination to better one's self as a Muslim and humanitarian
is so strong that one cannot help but feel proudat the accomplishment.
For30 days I can experience the joys of belonging to a community who
pray, fast and break fast in unison. I can sympathise with thosewho
are less fortunate than myself by suffering asthey suffer. I can act
on this sympathy by fulfilling my duty and paying a donation to the
poor, providing a meal for people in need and physically making a
contribution to assist others.
And so I begin to wonder: why should such accomplishments prevail only
in Ramadan? Why can't it be 'Ramadan' all year round so to speak? AsI
sit by my colleague, who nervously bends a paper clip in the hope of
quashing his nicotine craving, I realise that as the holiest month in
the Islamic calendar, ignoring the obligations of Ramadan would cost
morethan the puff of a cigarette.
Determining Priorities
The spiritual blessings received during Ramadan are so great that even
those most distant from their faith will surrender toGod. Living in a
city as diverse as Sydney, some will often be influenced bya culture
not of their own. It may be choosing to live a lifestyle which is
contradictory to the Islamic ideal. It may be thepreoccupation with
achieving a 'status' of importance in order to obtain respect and gain
a voice within the wider community. It may even be as simple as
changing the radio dial in one's mind - from highly focusedon your
duties as a good Muslim, to preoccupied with surviving a hectic dayat
work and home. Whatever the choice, it is up to the individual to
determine his or her priority in life, and fulfill it with only the
fear of judgment by a higher power.
Unfortunately for some, keeping up appearances infront of fellow
Muslims in order to live by a different set of standards seems to be
the solution. Always looking over their shoulder, always worrying
about getting caught in anact of indiscretion. This façade seems to
provide a superficial sense of 'freedom' and yet, as a Muslim, the
only consequences they should fear are those which come from God.
Perhaps a sense of duty is intensified during Ramadan, for there is no
other explanation forwhy this façade comes to ahalt only during this
time of the year.
Attaining Humility All Year Round
Those who focus on attaining that level of humility all year round
should be applauded for their strength of character and
responsibility. For choosing to live without being ashamed of their
identity as an Australian-Muslim. For being more concerned about how
God perceives them rather thanbow to external pressures from society.
And most of all, for setting an example to all those channel
surferswho display an outstanding force of will power and yet do not
go the extra mile unless asked to do so.
It is this which highlights the true beauty of Ramadan - its ability
to unite a community and people, and to encourage an attitude of peace
and generosity. If excelling as afaithful believer and good
humanitarian for 30 days reaps such rewards, then itwould only be a
disservice to ourselves to keep such behaviour dormant for another 335
days of the year. So as I pass by the bakery and look at that
doughnut, I learn that simplicity is the key to a good life - I can
have my cake and eat it too.

--
- - - - - - -

How to Choose a Husband, Wife or Friend

Is his hair nicely styled? Is he the perfect height?
Is her makeup just right? Does her body have the perfect curves?
This is packaging, it's irrelevant.
American, Pakistani, Mexican, Egyptian, Bengali, Indonesian,
black,white, brown, this is a veneer. It's unimportant in the long
run. When you're sick and battling torecover, it's not an American who
holds you and tells you that it will be okay, who makes you chicken
soup with lemon and ginger… It's a human being, a husband or wife who
loves you.
We must get beyond superficial and meaningless classifications like
race and nationality.
Does he wear Armani suits cut just right? Are hisshoes sleek and
shiny? Does her clothing drape elegantly on her figure?
You know what? That Armani suit can't stand onits own. It needs a
hangarjust to stay upright. That elegant clothing can't raise your
children right.
We must learn to look beyond appearances. I'm not saying that
appearance is irrelevant, but how much of our attraction is based on
truehuman beauty, and how much is based on distorted standards and
poisonous imagery pumped into our brains by TV, movies,
advertising,magazines and billboards? In other words, to what degree
have we been brainwashed?
The world of advertising teaches us to focus on thewrong things.
Consultantsare paid millions of dollars to design the perfect package
for a box of cereal or an energy drink, just the right shape and
bright color to catch your eye and entice you to buy. Meanwhile, the
product – as often as not – is actually bad for you, consisting of
empty calories, sugar, chemicals and dyes. They are teaching us to
make choices based on packaging and image, andwhat they are teaching
usis entirely ruinous and wrong.
Human beings, however, are not consumer products. We're not
disposable. When you marry someone you're in it for the long haul.
You'rewith them when they wake up in the morning with crust in their
eyes and hair stuck to one side of the their head; when they get laid
off from their job and you don't know how the bills will get paid next
month; when they're depressed, tired, sick; when they make mistakes,
when they say and do the wrong things, when they lose their temper,
when they're afraid or insecure…
This is as serious as it gets. This is life, and the right package
won't get you through it, won't helpon you the path, won't hold you up
when you're weak, or put a smile in your heart when you're down. The
package can't do that. Remember that when you buy something,the
package ends up in the trash. If you choose someone for the package
only, you may be bitterly disappointed when the storm comes and no one
is there to keep you safe.
These are lessons learned through heartache and disappointment. These
are lessons I have learned.
Look deeper. Find a gentleheart, a strong backbone, a striving spirit.
Look to what the person does, how they live, how they treat people,
how they relate to the Almighty. Look to that shimmering soul inside,
and discern whether it's a selfish and bitter soul, or loving and
true. Look beyond the packaging to the person inside, and trust your
fitrah-based instincts, and you'll find yourself a rare happiness, and
a precious partnership.
The most beautiful, powerful things in the world don't come in
packages. Mountains, trees, ocean, sky, stars… their true attributes
are bared to the world. They don't need packages because they are
beautifuland profound in their essence.
By basing your life choiceson matters of substance, you'll avoid
social and financial traps that ruin somany. You'll build friendships
as real and solid as mountains, with people you can trust with your
honor, your heart and your life. You'll do work that matters, and
leave a legacy that improves people's lives in unforgettable ways.

--
- - - - - - -

Love for your partner what you love for yourself

Imam Zaid Shakir writes:
As Salaam Alaikum,
To summarize the duties of brotherhood and sisterhood in Islam, we
should love for our brother and sister what we love for ourselves.
This is an incredible teaching that if implemented would go a long way
towards improving relations between us. This spirit of love is
especially important between husbands and wives, as we often treat
each other as abstract enemies as opposed to Muslims, first and
foremost.
- Imam Zaid Shakir
This is an excellent observation and insightfulpiece of advice. Many
of us are familiar with this hadith but have not thought of it in
terms of husband and wife.
When we want for our spouse what we want for ourselves, it takes our
marriage to a new level oflove. We begin to think about our partners
needs and wants, we pray for our partner just as we pray for
ourselves, we work for our partner's material and spiritual success as
much as our own.
We also forgive them for their mistakes just as we would hope to be
forgiven. We praise them for the good they do, thank them, hug them,
and when they need it wecorrect them in kindness. That's love, and
it's what a good marriage is made of.

--
- - - - - - -