How to Choose a Husband, Wife or Friend

Is his hair nicely styled? Is he the perfect height?
Is her makeup just right? Does her body have the perfect curves?
This is packaging, it's irrelevant.
American, Pakistani, Mexican, Egyptian, Bengali, Indonesian,
black,white, brown, this is a veneer. It's unimportant in the long
run. When you're sick and battling torecover, it's not an American who
holds you and tells you that it will be okay, who makes you chicken
soup with lemon and ginger… It's a human being, a husband or wife who
loves you.
We must get beyond superficial and meaningless classifications like
race and nationality.
Does he wear Armani suits cut just right? Are hisshoes sleek and
shiny? Does her clothing drape elegantly on her figure?
You know what? That Armani suit can't stand onits own. It needs a
hangarjust to stay upright. That elegant clothing can't raise your
children right.
We must learn to look beyond appearances. I'm not saying that
appearance is irrelevant, but how much of our attraction is based on
truehuman beauty, and how much is based on distorted standards and
poisonous imagery pumped into our brains by TV, movies,
advertising,magazines and billboards? In other words, to what degree
have we been brainwashed?
The world of advertising teaches us to focus on thewrong things.
Consultantsare paid millions of dollars to design the perfect package
for a box of cereal or an energy drink, just the right shape and
bright color to catch your eye and entice you to buy. Meanwhile, the
product – as often as not – is actually bad for you, consisting of
empty calories, sugar, chemicals and dyes. They are teaching us to
make choices based on packaging and image, andwhat they are teaching
usis entirely ruinous and wrong.
Human beings, however, are not consumer products. We're not
disposable. When you marry someone you're in it for the long haul.
You'rewith them when they wake up in the morning with crust in their
eyes and hair stuck to one side of the their head; when they get laid
off from their job and you don't know how the bills will get paid next
month; when they're depressed, tired, sick; when they make mistakes,
when they say and do the wrong things, when they lose their temper,
when they're afraid or insecure…
This is as serious as it gets. This is life, and the right package
won't get you through it, won't helpon you the path, won't hold you up
when you're weak, or put a smile in your heart when you're down. The
package can't do that. Remember that when you buy something,the
package ends up in the trash. If you choose someone for the package
only, you may be bitterly disappointed when the storm comes and no one
is there to keep you safe.
These are lessons learned through heartache and disappointment. These
are lessons I have learned.
Look deeper. Find a gentleheart, a strong backbone, a striving spirit.
Look to what the person does, how they live, how they treat people,
how they relate to the Almighty. Look to that shimmering soul inside,
and discern whether it's a selfish and bitter soul, or loving and
true. Look beyond the packaging to the person inside, and trust your
fitrah-based instincts, and you'll find yourself a rare happiness, and
a precious partnership.
The most beautiful, powerful things in the world don't come in
packages. Mountains, trees, ocean, sky, stars… their true attributes
are bared to the world. They don't need packages because they are
beautifuland profound in their essence.
By basing your life choiceson matters of substance, you'll avoid
social and financial traps that ruin somany. You'll build friendships
as real and solid as mountains, with people you can trust with your
honor, your heart and your life. You'll do work that matters, and
leave a legacy that improves people's lives in unforgettable ways.

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