My wife lies to me and I’m afraid she put magic on me

I have been married for 13years and during this time my wife has lied
to me on many occassions. Often these lies have either beenthe result
of a hidden act that she committed or to conceal the acts of her
parents. I have, however always forgiven her and tried to reconcile
the marriage for the sake of my children.
Last year, I lost my job dueto a very trivial incident. Itwas after i
returned from Pakistan with my family. I spoke with a raki who recited
Quran over me, (according to the sunnah), and from my reaction he
ascertained that I had been fed sihr. He would not divulge the
identity of the person who had performed the sihr and gave me a
programme to follow which involved ruqyah and black seed oil.
When i informed my mother and wife of this, the first thing my wife
asked was: "Who did it?" I told her i did not know but she did not
give up and kept asking. She kept saying "He must have given you an
idea of who it was", but i advised her that he didn't.
Coincidentally, the day that i lost my job, my wife got her job. I
have been trying ever since to find a job and start a business and 9
months later, i still have no luck.
Spiritually, alhamdolillah, ifeel fine. I have always prayed five
times and have alhamdolillah maintained my ruqyah buti still seem to
have bad days where at maghrib time i feel particularly panicked and
aggravated especially around my wife.I am not sure whether thisis the
effect of sihr or whether the fact that i have been jobless for so
long is now affecting my mental state of mind.
I hate to suspect, knowingwhat a major sin it is and in my mind i feel
like the perpetrator of this sihr could be someone very close to me.
Would there be anyway offinding out who is responsible? and what cani
do about the way i feel around my wife. I try forget the past but it
keeps on haunting me andi have absolutely no trust in my wife
whatsoever due to past experiences and trust, as we all know, is the
very basis of a relationship. Whenever my wife returns from work, i
feel like biting her head off and find excuses to leave the house and
i feel depressed at home. I am rather confused and would welcome
advice from anyone.

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The Sin of Fornication and Adultery

We've all heard of the seven deadly sins, but in reality their number
is not limited to seven. Abdullah ibn 'Abbas said: "Seventy is closer
to their number than seven". A major sin isone for which the
Quran/Sunnah prescribes apunishment in this life andin the next, or
that sin for which the sinner has incurred a curse by Allah or the
Messenger (sal-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam).
Fornication and Adultery will be discussed here and is one of the
major sins mentioned on this frightening list of seventy sins on:
http// www.themodernreligion.com/misc/hh/major_sins.htm
Each of the sins listed has attached to it seemingly smaller sins
which accumulate and lead to the bigger sin. Hence it makes complete
sense to understand that to indulge in the acts that lead to the major
sin are sin as well. So we should do our utmost to protect ourselves
from the paths that lead to the major sins.
***
I felt it was necessary to discuss this subject here asso many of the
questions submitted on IslamicAnswers.comare from people who have
fallen into zina and are now despairing and even contemplating
suicide. I have briefly touched upon:warning people about how easily
one can be lured towards zina, how to prevent oneself from falling
into zina, the dire consequences if one does fall and the concept of
Tawbah. This post has the following subheadings:
Part 1:
a) Seasons of sin - How a glance becomes despair
Part 2:
b) Why is Adultery/Fornication so attractive?
c) The million dollar question: How can we prevent ourselves from
giving into our base desires?
Part 3
d) Tame your wild horse before it tramples all over you!
d) There is way back through Sincere Tawbah
f) Conceal your sins, its an obligation!
g) There are blessings in following Allah's way
Seasons of sin - How a Glance becomes Despair
***
Summer Days - Flowers and Stars
The road to zina (fornication and adultery) starts with a look, a
glance, a sweet word, a tea, a coffee, a pizza, a shopping spree,
studying together all cosied up in the uni library...'Chill out, its
just innocent fun' (I hear you say). The shame and shyness left time
ago, so the rest starts to become a lot easier. Now the flirting,
touching, hugging, the 'I love you's and 'xxx's sent through email and
text messages, gradually turning from virtual to reality. Before you
know what's happening, your emotionshave taken over and all logic and
common sense have flown out the window along with the shame.
Allah? What, oh yeah, Allah and Islam, I'll think about that later,
I'm not doing anything wrong - I'm just chilling out with Yasin. Its a
cold drizzly day, and where you'd normally have to struggle out of
your warm bed for college or work, today youjump up, cos all you're
seeing are flowers and stars, all rosiness and glitter. Sound
familiar? Allah(swt)'s warning in theQuran Surah Al Isra, Verse 32,
bears little significancein our lives now: "And come not NEAR to
unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin)
andan evil way."
Autumn - The Fall
This dizzy feeling of excitement or lust masquerading as love is oh
but a very short lived satisfaction. Girlfriend/boyfriend
relationships are major sins in Islam! Things do not "just happen."
One bad deed if not nipped in the bud, leads to another. You planted a
bad seed and instead of repelling it at the first stage, you allowed
it to become firmly planted and it began to flower. It was not
innocent fun, it was the beginning of a long line of sins leading to
zina and each of those seemingly 'minor' things were in fact not
small, they were 'major'. They were major, because each one stained
your heart with a small black dot, until eventually your whole heart
became covered with darkness.
Remember, Allah(swt) did not just say, 'Don't have unlawful sexual
intercourse, He(swt) warned us against even 'coming near' it! Because
you continued ignoring this, you were no longer able to see or hear
the light or truth, you became confused. Some of you hated doing
those bad things, but your goal had become only to please your
girlfriend/boyfriend. Some of you enjoyed sinning and became slave to
your lower desires. Either way, you became a slave to other than
Allah, thereby committing indirect shirk.
Some of you have now become compulsive liars too, as you sneak out the
door, telling your folks that you'll be studying in the library till
late; when in fact you're meeting your lover, and forgetting your
meeting with your Creator - Allah. When reminded about the punishments
for your sins,you put your fingers in your ears and continue
persevering in your wrongdoing. You allowed your emotions to rule your
soul.

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Dua in Islam

Dua is defined as any invocation or prayer addressed to Allah (SWT).
In our times, we find many reasons why people do not make Dua; we
forget, don't know how, orjust do not think it will be answered.
Fundamental tothis is the loss of dependence and trust upon Allah. As
Muslims there is something very wrong when we believe our Duas won't
be answered. We do not turn to Allah in our times of need and instead
put our trust, dependence and hopes on worldly things that we think
will help us.
Although these temporal things are the means through which our Duas
can be answered, the root of our being should be trained automatically
to turn to Allah and not anything or anyone else. Through Dua, we
strengthen our Imaan and our relationship with Allah, as well as
heighten our awareness of cause and effect that can help inspire and
motivate us to be closer to Islam in our lives.
We find many reassurances throughout the Quran for those who make Dua.
Allah the Exalted, has said: "And your Lord says: Pray untome: and I
will hear your prayer" (Quran 40:60), "Call upon your Lord Humbly and
in secret" (Quran 7:55), "When My servants question thee concerning
Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every
suppliant when hecalleth on Me" (Quran 2:186), "Is not He (best) who
listens to the (soul) distressed when it calls on Him, and who
relieves its suffering." (Quran 27:62)
Aisha radhiallaahu anha said, "No believer makes Dua and it is wasted.
Either it is granted here in this world or deposited forhim in the
Hereafter as long as he does not get frustrated."
In fact, it is even wrong to never make Dua,"Whosoever does not
supplicate to Allah, He will be angry with Him." [Saheeh
Jaami`as-Sagheer#2414]
Conditions for acceptance of Dua
1. A Hadith says "Ad-Du'aa Huwal-3ibaadah" , which means, "Dua is
worship." [Abu Dawud,at-Tirmidhi, Hasan Saheeh], Dua is Ibadah so
calling upon anyone other than Allah in one's Dua is Shirk. Thisis an
important condition of having one's Dua accepted; the Dua should be
directed to Allah alone.
2. A second condition would be sincerity or Hudoor alqalb , having the
heart present.
3. Also, one's food, drink, clothes and lifestyle should be Halal. One
should avoid unlawful, impious or forbidden sources or means of
livelihood.
4. Fourth, one cannot ask for something sinful or Haram. Dua should
not be made against family and property (i.e. to sever the ties of
kinship).
5. If one asks Allah to cursesomeone, it rises up to heaven and goes
to the person if they are deserving, if not it returns to the person
supplicating.
6. Patience is another condition. This perseverance in making Dua is
important. One should not say "Why hasn't Allah answered my Dua" or "I
have prayed and prayed so many times, but the same was not accepted"
and then become disappointed and give up praying. An example of this
is like a person who planted a seed or a sapling, and kept looking
after it and watering it and when itscomplete shape and height was
slow in coming, they left it and forgot about it.
7. Lastly one should have expectation, belief with certainty only
Allah can answer the Dua. Understanding dependence on Allah and asking
with absolute resolve and believing with certainty that one's Dua will
be answered is a also a condition of acceptance. One should not say "O
Allah do this...if you wish..." because one should appeal to Allah
with determination, for nobody can force Allah to do something against
his Will. If one fulfills these conditions, Allah will definitely
answer the Dua, avert some equivalent evil or give better in the
Hereafter.
We can and should make Dua in every condition, i.e. in hardship and in
prosperity. There are also some special times to make Dua where it is
more likely to be accepted.
Special times for dua:
1. When one is oppressed
2. Between the time of Athan and Iqama
3. At the time of the call forprayer
4. At the time of fighting when warriors are engaged with each other
5. When it is raining
6. When one is sick
7. The last third of the night
8. Ramadan (especially Lailatul Qadr)
9. After the Fard part of prayer\
10. When traveling
11. When breaking fast
12. In Sujood
13. Fridays, some say on Friday after Asr prayer
14. While drinking the water from the well of Zamzam
15. At the start of prayer (Dua of Istiftah)
16. When one begins the prayer, i.e. with "all praise be to Allah, the
Pure and the Blessed one"
17. While one recites al-Fatiha (which is a Dua)
18. When Ameen is said in the prayer (also relating to Fatiha)
19. At the time of raising the head after the Rukoo
20. In the last part of the prayer after conveying blessings unto the
Prophet (SAW)

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ISLAMIC ARTICLE :- ~ Understanding the Concept of Tawbah in Islam

Tawbah is an Arabic words derived fromthe origin " Taaba" i.e.
returned back. Tawbah thus means turning back in repentance. It means
showing regret for the error and the sin one has got himself involved
in.
To have a clear view of theconcept of Tawbah and what it does mean,
read the following:
Repentance ( Tawbah ) means that one feels regret and filled with
remorse for his or her sins,turns to Allah with the intention to obey
Him. According to truth-seekingscholars, repentance signifies a
sincere effort to no longer oppose the Divine Essence in one's
feelings, thoughts, intentions, and acts, and to comply sincerely with
His commands and prohibitions. Repentance does not mean being
disgusted with what is bad or prohibited and thusno longer engaging in
it; rather, it means remainingaloof from whatever Allah hates and
prohibits, even if it seems agreeable to sense and reason.
Repentance is usually usedwith Nasuh , literally meaning pure,
sincere, reforming, improving, and repairing. Tawbah Nasuh (genuine
repentance) means a pure, sincere repentance that perfectly reforms
and improves the one who feels it. One who feels such a sincere,
heartfelt, and true remorse for the sin committed seeks to abandon it,
thereby setting a good example for others. The Quran points to this
when it mentions true repentance:" O you who believe! Turn to God in
true, sincere repentance." (At-Tahrim: 8).
There are three categories of repentance:
1-The repentance of those who cannot discern Divinetruths. Such people
are uneasy about their disobedience to Allah and, conscious of the
sinfulnessclouding their hearts, turn toward Allah in repentance
saying, for example: "I have fallen or committed a sin. Forgive me, or
I ask for Allah's forgiveness."
2-Those half-awakened to Divine truths beyond veils of material
existence, whofeel an inward pang of sinfulness and remorse right
after thinking or doing anything incompatible with the consciousness
of always being in Allah's presence, or after every instance of
heedlessness enveloping their hearts, and who immediately take refuge
in the mercy and favor of Allah. Such people are described in the
following Hadith:. "One who sincerely repents of his sin is as if he
had never committed it. When Allah loves one of His servants, his sins
do not harm him. Then he recited the verse: aAssuredly, Allah loves
the oft-repentant and those who always seek to purify themselves.'"
3-Those who live such a careful life that, their eyes sleep but their
hearts do not, their hearts are awake. Such people immediately discard
what-ever intervenes between Allah and their hearts and other
innermost faculties, and regain the consciousness of their relation to
the Light of Lights. They always manifest the meaning of:. "How
excellent a servant! Trulyhe was ever turning in contrition (to his
Lord)" (Sad:44).
Repentance means regaining one's essential purity after every
spiritual defilement, and engaging in frequent self-renewal.
The Stages of Repentance:
1-Feeling sincere remorse and regret.
2-Being frightened whenever one rememberspast sins.
3-Trying to eradicate injustice and support justice and right.
4-Reviewing one's responsibilities and performing obligations
previously neglected.
5-Reforming oneself by removing spiritual defects caused by deviation and error
6-Regretting and lamenting the times whenone did not mention or
remember Allah, or thank Him and reflect on His works. Such people are
always apprehensive and alert so that their thoughts and feelings are
not tainted by things that intervene between themselves and Allah.
(This last quality is particular to people distinguished by their
nearness to Allah.)
If one does not feel remorse, regret, and disgust for errors
committed, whether greator small; if one is not fearful or
apprehensive of falling back into sin at any time; and if one does not
take shelter in sincere servanthood to Allah in order to be freed from
deviation and error into which one has fallen by moving away from God,
any resulting repentance will be no more than a lie.
A Muslim should cry:
I'm sorry for the mistakes Imake.
And, I know of none that can be retrieved.
They're like the water overa dam.
To flow back, it cannot be achieved.
There are things I wish I had never said.
Now, I wish that I had bit my tongue instead.
To make another feel that pain,
For those thoughtless words, I am disdain.
Repentance is an oath of virtue, and holding steadfastly to it
requires strong willpower.

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