"GENERAL ARTICLES"
"BISMILLA HIRRAHMAAN NIRRAHEEM"
WELCOME! - AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM!! ******** ***** *****
[All] praise is [due] to Allah, Lord of the worlds; - Guide us to the straight path
*- -*
* * In this Blog; More Than Ten Thousand(10,000) {Masha Allah} - Most Usefull Articles!, In Various Topics!! :- Read And All Articles & Get Benifite! * Visit :-
*- WHAT ISLAM SAYS -* - Islam is a religion of Mercy, Peace and Blessing. Its teachings emphasize kind hear tedness, help, sympathy, forgiveness, sacrifice, love and care.Qur’an, the Shari’ah and the life of our beloved Prophet (SAW) mirrors this attribute, and it should be reflected in the conduct of a Momin.Islam appreciates those who are kind to their fellow being,and dislikes them who are hard hearted, curt, and hypocrite.Recall that historical moment, when Prophet (SAW) entered Makkah as a conqueror. There was before him a multitude of surrendered enemies, former oppressors and persecutors, who had evicted the Muslims from their homes, deprived them of their belongings, humiliated and intimidated Prophet (SAW) hatched schemes for his murder and tortured and killed his companions. But Prophet (SAW) displayed his usual magnanimity, generosity, and kind heartedness by forgiving all of them and declaring general amnesty...Subhanallah. May Allah help us tailor our life according to the teachings of Islam. (Aameen)./-
"INDIA "- Time in New Delhi -
''HASBUNALLAHU WA NI'MAL WAKEEL'' - ''Allah is Sufficient for us'' + '' All praise is due to Allah. May peace and blessings beupon the Messenger, his household and companions '' (Aameen)
NAJIMUDEEN M
Dua' from Al'Qur'an - for SUCCESS in 'both the worlds': '' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen] - {in Arab} :-> Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/- (Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)*--*~
Category - *- About me -* A note for me *-* Aa My Public Album*-* Acts of Worship*-* Ahlesunnat Wal Jamat*-* Asmaul husna*-* Belief in the Last Day*-* Between man and wife*-* Bible and Quran*-* Bioghraphy*-* Commentary on Hadeeth*-* Conditions of Marriage*-* Da'eef (weak) hadeeths*-* Darwinism*-* Dating in Islam*-* Description of the Prayer*-* Diary of mine*-* Discover Islam*-* Dought & clear*-* Duas*-* Eid Prayer*-* Engagment*-* Family*-* Family & Society*-* family Articles*-* Family Issues*-* Fasting*-* Fathwa*-* Fiqh*-* For children*-* Gender differences*-* General*-* General Dought & clear*-* General hadeeths*-* General History*-* Hadees*-* Hajj*-* Hajj & Umrah*-* Hazrat Mahdi (pbuh)*-* Health*-* Health and Fitness*-* Highlights*-* Hijaab*-* Holiday Prayer*-* I'tikaaf*-* Imp of Islamic Months*-* Innovations in Religion and Worship*-* Islamic Article*-* Islamic History*-* Islamic history and biography*-* Islamic Months*-* Islamic story*-* Issues of fasting*-* Jannah: Heaven*-* jokes*-* Just know this*-* Kind Treatment of Spouses*-* Links*-* Making Up Missed Prayers*-* Manners of Greeting with Salaam*-* Marital Life*-* Marriage in Islam*-* Menstruation and Post-Natal bleeding*-* Miracles of Quran*-* Moral stories*-* Names and Attributes of Allaah*-* Never Forget*-* News*-* Night Prayer*-* Notes*-* Other*-* Personal*-* Personalities*-* Pilgrimage*-* Plural marriage*-* Prayer*-* Prayers on various occasions*-* Principles of Fiqh*-* Qanoon e Shariat*-* Qur'an*-* Qur'an Related*-* Quraanic Exegesis*-* Ramadan Articles*-* Ramadan File*-* Ramadhan ul Mubarak*-* Sacrifices*-* Saheeh (sound) hadeeths*-* Schools of Thought and Sects*-* Seerah of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)*-* Sex in Islam*-* Sharia and Islam*-* Shirk and its different forms*-* Sms, jokes, tips*-* Social Concerns*-* Soul Purification*-* Story*-* Sufi - sufi path*-* Supplication*-* Taraaweeh prayers*-* The book of Prayer*-* Tips & Tricks*-* Tourist Place*-* Trust (amaanah) in Islam*-* Welcome to Islam*-* Women in Ramadaan*-* Women site*-* Women Who are Forbidden for Marriage*-* Womens Work*-* Youth*-* Zakath*-*
*- Our Nabi' (s.a.w) Most Like this Dua' -*
"Allahumma Salli'Alaa Muhammadin Wa 'Alaa'Aali Muhammadin, kamaa Sallayta 'Alaa' Ibraheema wa 'Alaa 'Aali 'Ibraheema, 'Innaka Hameedun Majeed. Allahumma Baarik'Alaa Muhammadin Wa 'Alaa'Aali Muhammadin, kamaa Baarakta 'Alaa' Ibraheema wa 'Alaa 'Aali 'Ibraheema, 'Innaka Hameedun Majeed." ******
"Al Qur'an - first Ayath, came to our Nabi (s.a.w)
"Read! In the name of yourLord Who created. Created man from clinging cells. Read! And your Lord is Most Bountiful. The One Who taught with the Pen. Taught man what he did not know." (Qur'an 96: 1-5) - ~ - ~ - lt;18.may.2012/friday-6.12pm:{IST} ;(Ayatul Kursi Surah Al-Baqarah, Ayah 255/)
*- Al Qur'an's last ayath came to Nabi{s.a.w} -*
Allah states the following: “Thisday have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” [Qur’an 5:3]
Surat alAhzab 40; Says Our Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) is the final Prophet sent by Allah'
↓TRANSLATE THIS BLOG↓
IndonesiaArabicChinaEnglishSpanishFrenchItalianJapanKoreanHindiRussian
ShareShare

Follow Me

* A Precious DUA' *
Dua' - '' All praise is due to Allah'. May peace and blessings beupon the Messenger, his household and companions '' - - - O Allah, I am Your servant, son of Your servant, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand; Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just; I ask You by every name belonging to You that You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your book, ortaught to any of Your creation, or have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur'an thelife of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release from my anxiety.
- Tamil -- Urdu -- Kannada -- Telugu --*- ShareShare
**
ShareShare - -*-
tandapanahkebawah.gifbabby-gif-240-240-0-24000.giftandapanahkebawah.gif400692269-4317571d76.jpeg wall-paper.gif story.gif
*: ::->
*

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Psychological and Social Problems, Dought & clear, - * She is suffering because of problems in the relationship between her and her husband, and she wants advice











I have been married for 5 years. I have not been nearly a good wife to my husband, but I have sacrificed a lot for our marriage. I worked along side of him and have always supported him but wasnt a good housewife and had always been behind with my chores. Unfortunately now our relationship is in a big crisis and I seek your support. My husband has always been critical towards me but now things are becoming worse, he criticises me about everything and says that i never listen to him. We recently had a baby and thats mainly when things became more serious. I feel bad because we are always arguing around her and i know this is not good for her future. My husband always asks his brother who is a doctor for advice and leaves out my opinion as second hand. He hates it when I ask my mother for advice because they are not in good relationship.
Please give me guidance on the above. I also have a few additional questions below:
If my mother disrespected my husband in his house, how was he supposed to respond, conaidering he was disrespected before.
What is the islamic view on mothers instinct and according to islam is there such a thing as father's instinct?
What can I do if my husband always sees faults in me?
-
Praise be to Allah
Undoubtedly a great deal of criticism and arguing in front of the children is something negative that undermines harmony and love. Our advice to you and your husband is to reduce that as much as possible, and to show restraint; each of you should force himself to be patient with the other and to delay issues of arguments and discussion until you are by yourselves.
Our advice to the husband is not to think that any human being could be free of faults or shortcomings, because that is part of human nature, so how about the woman, whose basic nature the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) has told us about, and said that there is no hope of changing her nature completely.
It was narrated from Samurah ibn Jundub that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“Woman was created from a rib; if you try to straighten her you will break her. So be kind to her and you will live with ease with her.”
Narrated by Ahmad (20093) and Ibn Hibbaan (4178); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.
Moreover, our advice to you is not to respond to criticism with more arguments and stubbornness, because this will put more strain on the connection between you, which is about to break because of that. Being more easy-going and diplomatic is something that is required from both parties. It is required from the husband, in the form of kindness, overlooking mistakes and showing compassion, and it is required from the religiously committed, smart and wise wife to put up with the annoyance of her husband, and not to be so harsh with him if he is harsh with her; rather she should be easy-going, as much as she can, avoid provoking his anger and not be confrontational. She should be as gentle as she can, and be soft with him.
It was narrated that ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Shall I not tell you about your wives among the people of Paradise: the one who is loving, fertile, and beneficial to her husband, who if she is upset or annoyed, she comes and takes her husband’s hand, then she says: ‘By Allah, I shall not sleep until you are pleased with me.”
Narrated by an-Nasaa’i inas-Sunan al-Kubra(9094); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inas-Saheehah(287)
What is well-established in psychology, and what is known from experience, is that stubbornness and arguing with a husband who is not patient with lengthy discussions and arguments will only result in bad consequences for the marriage and will increase resentment between the spouses.
Our advice to our sister is to discuss less and go along with him, and to show a great deal of admiration for his thoughts and opinions in general, even if you differ concerning some of the details. With this attitude you can reduce arguments, dispel resentment and make him more open to listening to your discussion and point of view. It would be a good idea for you to go to a psychologist who specialises in couples counselling, because that can help to uncover the subtle causes of the problem between you and deal with the matter in an effective manner.
You should realise that it is not a must for the husband to consult his wife; rather he may consult someone whose opinion and experience he trusts among his family and friends, or experts other than people whom he knows.
The most that can be said regarding the issue of a man consulting his wife is that it is something that is encouraged and is good, and it comes under the heading of kind treatment and noble character. Moreover, people vary in their nature, attitude, way of thinking and behaviour. So be wise, and do not take risks with regard to your family life and marriage. Forgive him some of his harshness and put up with some of his obstinacy, so long as it does not involve sin and no obvious harm will result to you or your family. Put up with what you dislike, for in patiently bearing what one dislikes there is a great deal of good, as the most truthful one (the Prophet – blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said.
· With regard to the mother’s instinct, from a linguistic point of view the Arabic word for instinct means nature. In terms of psychology, it refers to human behaviour that is based on nature and heredity. Every person has instincts and inclinations that differ according to his inherent nature and hereditary factors. Based on that, the mother’s instinct is no more than maternal behaviour that is based on her nature and genetic makeup. One of the most well-known manifestations of these natural instincts is the mother’s instinct to protect her child and ward off anything that may harm him.
But this instinct may become contaminated and malfunction because of unsound social influences and customs because of which the mother sees what is beneficial as harmful, so that facts are turned upside down in her mind and she becomes confused.
Therefore the mother should not be regarded as reliable unless it is proven that she is mature and well balanced, and that she is not influenced by unsound standards that are alien to sound human nature.
The same may be said concerning the father’s instinct and what may result from it.
· Finally:
Your husband should be kind to your mother and treat her well, even if she has a different point of view than him. That is because she is like his own mother, and responding in a better way to bad treatment has a magical effect on people. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Repel (the evil deed) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend”
[Fussilat 41:35].
In addition to that, you should pay attention to the fact that your husband does not like you to consult your mother, because your insistance on consulting her and seeking her opinion, despite what you say about the relationship between them not being good, makes matters worse. A man does not like even someone who agrees with him to interfere in his decisions and leadership, so what you think about one who differs with him?!
So do not do what he resents and do not refrain from doing what he likes. We give you the glad tidings that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave: “If a woman offers her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter through whichever of the gates of Paradise she wants.”
Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan (4163); classed as hasan by al-Albaani
And Allah knows best.























PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

No comments: