'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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What is the ruling on the girl's visitation rights to her parent's house after marriage? Husband does not like her to visit her parents because of past family problems. Should the girl ignore her husband's wishes and go against him in this matter. The girl fears that parents are not happy because she has not visited them in a year. And they )parents( don't want to have any contact with the girl because of this situation. Who should the girl be more obligated to listen: her husband or her parents )her husband is not against having other forms of contact like telephone, letters …(.
I know in Islam one should not make one's parents unhappy by their actions. I don't understand what I did wrong, when I am going by my husband's wishes. Similar issues have happened in the past and the girl respected and followed her parents wishes, but this created a lot of tension between the two families. I know I am supposed to act as a diplomat between the two families but it seems like this will never work. For every time someone or the other is not happy, and the girl seems to blame herself for it happening. This situation is stressful for the girl. She wants to keep both sides of the family happy, but she does not know how. Please help, by giving me the correct advice..
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
This girl should be very careful and tactful in dealing with her problem. She should be patient and wise and try to settle the problem between her family and her husband. She should seek the Help of Allah in reconciling their hearts on the truth. She should also try to remind them of the kinship that exists between and warn them of breaking off these ties. She could seek the help of one of her pious relatives.
Remind the husband of the rights of the parents. In fact, the child must obey his parents. Allah has linked their obedience to His Worship, their rights to His. So, it is a great matter. Allah Says )interpretation of meaning(: }Worship Allâh and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents,{ ]4:36[. Allah also Says )interpretation of meaning(: }And We have enjoined on man )to be dutiful and good( to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination.{]31:14[.
Allah forbids disobeying one's parents. Indeed, breaking ties with them is among the worst disobediences one can do to them.
On the other hand, the scholars state that the husband has no right to prevent his wife from visiting her parents as long as there is no fear for her religion or her behaviour or her honour.
We hope that if this girl does what we have described to her she would solve her problem, mend what has been dismantled and live a peaceful life, Insha Allah.
But if her husband insists on preventing her from visiting her parents, then she should not go without his permission, as doing so might lead to greater harms for her and her home.
If this husband does not have any sound legal reason to prevent his wife from visiting her parents, then he would commit a sin, as he will be the cause for her disobeying her parents.
But if there is a reason acceptable by the Sharia, like her parents are dissolute and he fears for his wife to go astray, then his preventing her from visiting them is the right thing to do and she must abide by his orders.
Allah knows best.
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