Family Issues, - The Ideal Muslim Woman and Her Children

Introduction
Undoubtedly children are a source of great joy and delight; they make
life sweet, bring morerizqinto a family's life and give hope. A father
sees his children as a future source of help and support, as well as
representing an increase in numbers and perpetuation of the family. A
mother sees her children as a source of hope, consolation and joy in
life, and as hope for the future. All of these hopes rest on the good
upbringing of the children and giving them a sound preparation for
life, so that they will become active and constructive elements in
society, a source of goodness for their parents, community and society
as a whole. Then they will be as (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) described them:
( Wealth and sons are allurements of the life of this world . . .)
(Qur'an 18:46)
If their education and upbringing are neglected, they will become bad
characters, a burden on their family, community and society as a
whole.
She understands the great responsibility that she has towards her children
The Muslim woman never forgets that the mother's responsibility in
bringing up the children and forming their characters is greater than
that of the father, because children tend to be closer to their mother
and spend more time with her; she knows all about their behavioral,
emotional and intellectual development during their childhood and the
difficult years of adolescence.
Hence the woman who understands the teachings of Islam and her own
educational role in life, knows her complete responsibility for the
upbringing of her children, as is referred to in the Qur'an:
( O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire
whose fuel is Men and Stones . . .) (Qur'an 66:6)
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) also referred to this
responsibility in his hadith:
"Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his
flock. The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock; a
man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock; a
woman is the shepherd in the house of her husband and is responsible
for her flock; a servant is the shepherd of his master's wealth and is
responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for
his flock."1
Islam places responsibility on the shoulders of every individual; not
one person is left out. Parents - especially mothers - are made
responsible for providing their children with a solid upbringing and
sound Islamic education, based on the noble characteristics that the
Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) declared that he had been sent
to complete and spread among people:
"I have only been sent to make righteous behavior complete."2
Nothing is more indicative of the greatness of the parents'
responsibility towards their children and their duty to give them a
suitable Islamic upbringing than the verdict of the'ulama'that every
family should heed the words of the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa
sallam):
"Instruct your children to pray when they are seven and hit them if
they do not do so when they are ten."3
Any parents who are aware of this hadith but do not teach their
children to pray when they reach seven or hit them if they do not do
so when they reach ten, are parents who are sinners and failing in
their duty; they will be responsible before Allah (Subhanahu wa
ta'ala) for their failure.
The family home is a microcosm of society in which the children's
mentality, intellect, attitudes and inclinations are formed when they
are still very small and are ready to receive sound words of guidance.
Hence the parents' important role in forming the minds of their sons
and daughters and directing them towards truth and good deeds is quite
clear.
Muslim woman have always understood their responsibility in raising
their children, and they have a brilliant record in producing and
influencing great men, and instill ling noble values in their
hearts. There is no greater proof of that than the fact that
intelligent and brilliant women have produced more noble sons than
have intelligent and brilliant men, so much so that you can hardly
find any among the great men of ourummahwho have controlled the course
of events in history who is not indebted to his mother.
Al-Zubayr ibn al-'Awwam was indebted for his greatness to his mother
Safiyyah bint 'Abd al-Muttalib, who instill led in him his good
qualities and distinguished nature.
'Abdullah, al-Mundhir and 'Urwah, the sons of al-Zubayr were the
products of the values instill led in them by their mother, Asma'
bint Abi Bakr, and each of them made his mark in history and attained
a high status.
'Ali ibn Abi Talib (radhiallahu anhu) received wisdom, virtue and good
character from his distinguished mother, Fatimah bint Asad.
'Abdullah ibn Ja'far, the master of Arab generosity and the most noble
of their leaders, lost his father at an early age, but his mother
Asma' bint 'Umays took care of him and give him the virtues and noble
characteristics by virtue of which she herself became one of the great
women of Islam.
Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan inherited his strength of character and
intelligence from his mother, Hind bint 'Utbah, not from his father
Abu Sufyan. When he was a baby, she noticed that he had intelligent
and clever features. Someone said to her, "If he lives, he will become
the leader of his people." She responded, "May he not live if he is to
become the leader of his people alone!"
Mu'awiyah was unable to instill his cleverness, patience and
skills in his own son and and heir, Yazid, because the boy's mother
was a simple Bedouin woman, whom he had married for her beauty and
because of the status of her tribe and family.
Mu'awiyah's brother Ziyad ibn Abi Sufyan, who was a prime example of
intelligence, shrewdness and quick-wittedness, was similarly unable to
pass these qualities on to his son 'Ubayd-Allah (subhanahu wa
ta'ala) who grew up to be stupid, clumsy, impotent and ignorant. His
mother was Marjanah, a Persian woman who possessed none of the
qualities that might entitle her to be the mother of a great man.
History records the names of two great men of Banu Umayyah, the first
of whom was known for his strength of character, capability,
intelligence, wisdom and decisiveness, and the second of whom took the
path of justice, goodness, piety and righteousness.
The first was 'Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan, whose mother was 'A'ishah bint
al-Mughirah ibn Abi'l-'As ibn Umayyah, who was well-known for her
strength of character, resolution and intelligence. The second was
'Umar ibn 'Abd al-'Aziz (radhiallahu anhu), the fifth of thekhulafa'
al-rashidun, whose mother was Umm 'Asim bint 'Asim ibn 'Umar ibn
al-Khattab, who was the most noble in character of the women of her
time. Her mother was the righteous worshipper of Allah (Subhanahu wa
ta'ala) whom 'Asim saw was honest and truthful, and clearly following
the right path, when she refused to add water to the milk as her
mother told her to, because she knew that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala)
could see her.
If we turn towards Andalusia, we find the brilliant, ambitious ruler
'Abd al-Rahman al-Nasir who, having started life as an orphan, went on
to establish an Islamic state in the West, to which the leaders and
kings of Europe surrendered and to whose institutes of learning the
scholars and philosophers of all nations came to seek knowledge. This
state made a great contribution to worldwide Islamic culture. If we
were to examine the secret of this man's greatness, we would find that
it lay in the greatness of his mother who knew how to instill in him
the dynamic spirit of ambition.
During the 'Abbasid period there were two great women who planted the
seeds of ambition, distinction and ascendancy in their sons. The first
was the mother of Ja'far ibn Yahya, who was thewazirof
thekhalifahHarun al-Rashid. The second was the mother of Imam
al-Shafi'i: he never saw his father who died whilst he was still a
babe in arms; it was his mother who took care of his education.
There are many such examples of brilliant women in our history, women
who instill led in their sons nobility of character and the seeds of
greatness, and who stood behind them in everything they achieved of
power and status.
She uses the best methods in bringing them up
The intelligent Muslim woman understands the psychology of her
children, and is aware of their differences in attitudes and
inclination. She tries to penetrate their innocent world and plant the
seeds of noble values and worthy characteristics, using the best and
most effective methods of parenting.
The mother is naturally close to her children, and she endears herself
to them so that they will be open with her and will share their
thoughts and feelings with her. She hastens to correct them and refine
their thoughts and feelings, taking into account each child's age and
mental level. She plays and jokes with them sometimes, complimenting
them and letting then hear words of love, affection, compassion and
self-denial. Thus their love for her increases, and they will accept
her words of guidance and correction eagerly. They will obey her out
of love for her, for there is a great difference between sincere
obedience that comes from the heart, which is based on love, respect
and trust, and insincere obedience that is based on oppression,
violence and force. The former is lasting obedience, strong and
fruitful, whilst the latter is shallow and baseless, and will quickly
vanish when the violence and cruelty reach extreme levels.
She demonstrates her love and affection for them
The Muslim woman is not ignorant of the fact that her children need
her warm lap, deep love and sincere affection in order to develop
soundly, with no psychological problems, crises or complexes. This
sound upbringing will fill them with optimism, trust, hope and
ambition. Thus the caring Muslim mother demonstrates her love and
affection for her children on every occasion, flooding their lives
with joy and happiness and filling their hearts with confidence and
security.
The true Muslim woman is compassionate towards her children, for
compassion is a basic Islamic characteristic, one that was encouraged
by the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) in word and deed as Anas
(radhiallahu anhu) tells us:
"I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than
Allah's Messenger (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam). His son Ibrahim was
in the care of a wet-nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go
there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up
his son and kiss him, then come back."4
The Prophet's compassion and love towards Muslim children included
little ones at play. He would flood them with his compassion and
affection. Anas (radhiallahu anhu) reported that whenever the Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) passed by a group of boys he would
smile fondly and greet them.5
An example of the Prophet's enduring wisdom with regard to the
upbringing of children is the hadith:
"He is not one of us who does not show compassion to our little ones
and recognize the rights of our elders."6
Abu Hurayrah (radhiallahu anhu) narrated that the Prophet (sallallahu
'alayhi wa sallam) kissed al-Hasan ibn 'Ali. Al-Aqra' ibn Habis said,
"I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them." The Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: "He who does not show mercy will
not be shown mercy."7
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam), this great educator,
always sought to instill the quality of mercy and compassion in
people's hearts, and to awaken their potential for love and affection,
which are the most basic of human characteristics.
One day a Bedouin came and asked the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa
sallam), "Do you kiss your sons? We do not." The Prophet (sallallahu
'alayhi wa sallam) said, "What can I do for you if Allah (Subhanahu wa
ta'ala) has removed mercy from your heart?"8
'A'ishah (radhiallahu anha) reported:
"Whenever Fatimah (radhiallahu anha) came into the room, the Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) would stand up, welcome her, kiss her
and offer her his seat, and whenever he came into the room, she would
stand up, take his hand, welcome him, kiss him and offer him her seat.
When she came to see him during his final illness, he welcomed her and
kissed her."9
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) praised the women of
Quraysh, because they were the most compassionate of women towards
their children, the most concerned with raising them properly and
making sacrifices for them, in addition to taking good care of their
husbands. This may be seen in the words narrated by Bukhari from Abu
Hurayrah (radhiallahu anhu), who said:
"I heard Allah's Messenger (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) say: 'The
women of Quraysh are the best women ever to ride camels. They are
compassionate towards their children and the most careful with regard
to their husbands' wealth"10
In the light of this guidance, the true Muslim woman cannot be stern
towards her children and treat them in a rough or mean fashion, even
if it is her nature to be grim and reserved, because this religion,
with its enlightenment and guidance, softens hearts and awakens
feelings of love and affection. So our children are a part of us,
going forth into the world, as the poet Hittan ibn al-Mu'alla said:
"Our children are our hearts, walking among us on the face of the
earth, if even a little breeze touches them, we cannot sleep for
worrying about them."11
Parents should be filled with love, affection and care, willing to
make sacrifices and do their best for their children. Undoubtedly
the wealth of emotion that the Muslim mother feels for her children is
one of the greatest causes of her happiness in life. This is something
which has been lost by Western women, who are overwhelmed by
materialism and exhausted by the daily grind of work, which has caused
them to lose the warmth of family feelings. This was vividly expressed
by Mrs. Salma al-Haffar, a member of the Syrian women's movement,
after she had visited America:
"It is truly a shame that women lose the most precious thing that
nature12has given them, i.e. their femininity, and then their
happiness, because the constant cycle of exhausting work has caused
them to lose the small paradise which is the natural refuge of women
and men alike, one that can only flourish under the care of a mother
who stays at home. The happiness of individuals and society as a whole
is to be found at home, in the lap of the family; the family is the
source of inspiration, goodness and creativity."13
She treats her sons and daughters equally
The wise Muslim woman treats all her children fairly and equally. She
does not prefer one of them over another in any way, because she knows
that Islam forbids such actions on the part of the parents, and
because of the negative psychological impact that this may have over
the child whose sibling is preferred over him. The child who feels
that he is not treated equally with his brothers and sisters will grow
up with complexes and anxiety, eating his heart out with jealousy and
hatred. In contrast, the child who grows up feeling that he and his
siblings are treated equally will grow up healthy and free from
jealousy and hatred; he will be content, cheerful, tolerant and
willing to put others before himself. This is what Islam requires of
parents and urges them to do.
Bukhari, Muslim and others report that the father of al-Nu'man ibn
Bashir (radhiallahu anhu) brought him to the Prophet (sallallahu
'alayhi wa sallam) and said, "I have given this son of mine a slave I
have." The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, "Have you
given each of your children the same?" He said, "No." The Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) told him, "Then take the slave back."
According to another report:
"The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) asked, 'Have you done the
same for all your children?' [My father] said, 'No,' so the Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, 'Fear Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala)
and treat all of your children equally.'"
According to a third report:
"The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) asked, 'O Bishr, do you
have any other children?' He said, 'Yes.' The Prophet (sallallahu
'alayhi wa sallam) asked, 'Will you give a similar gift to each of
them?' He said, 'No.' So the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam)
said, 'Do not ask me to witness this, because I do not want to witness
unfairness.' Then he added, 'Would you not like all your children to
treat you with equal respect?' [Bishr] said, 'Of course.' The Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) told him, 'So do not do it.'"14
So the Muslim woman who truly fears Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) treats
all her children with equal fairness, and does not favor one above the
other in giving gifts, spending money on them, or in the way she
treats them. Then all of them will love her, will pray for her and
will treat her with kindness and respect.
She does not discriminate between sons and daughters her affection and care
The true Muslim woman does not discriminate between her sons and
daughters in her affection and car, as do some women who are not free
from the effects of ajahilimentality. She is fair to all her children,
boys and girls alike, and cares for them all with compassion and love.
She understands that children are a gift from Allah (subhanahu wa
ta'ala) and that Allah's (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) gift, be it of sons or
daughters, cannot be rejected or changed:
( . . . He bestows [children] male or female according to His Will
[and Plan], or He bestows both males and females, and He leaves barren
Whom He will: for He is full of knowledge and power.) (Qur'an
42:49-50)
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by her religion does not forget
the great reward that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) has prepared for the
one who brings up daughters and takes care of them properly, as is
stated in numeroussahihhadith, for example the hadith narrated by
Bukhari from 'A'ishah (radhiallahu anha) in which she says:
"A woman came to me with her two daughters and asked me (for charity).
She found that I had nothing except for a single date, which I gave to
her. She took it and divided it between her two daughters, and did not
eat any of it herself, then she got up and left with her daughters.
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) came in and I told him what
had happened.
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, "Whoever is tested
with daughters and treats them well, they will be for him a shield
against the Fire of Hell."15
According to another report narrated by Muslim from 'A'ishah (May
Allah be pleased with her), she said:
"A poor woman came to me carrying her two daughters. I gave her three
dates to eat. She gave each child a date, and raised the third to her
own mouth to eat it. Her daughters asked her to give it to them, so
she split the date that she had wanted to eat between them. I was
impressed by what she had done, and told Allah's Messenger
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) about it. He said, "Allah (Subhanahu wa
ta'ala) has decreed Paradise for her because of it," or, "He has saved
her from Hell because of it."16
Abu Hurayrah (radhiallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu
'alayhi wa sallam) said:
"Whoever has three daughters, and shelters them, bearing their joys
and sorrows with patience, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) will admit him
to Paradise by virtue of his compassion towards them." A man asked,
"What if he has only two, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "Even if
they are only two." Another man asked, "What if he has only one, O
Messenger of Allah?" He said, "Even if he has only one."17
Ibn 'Abbas (radhiallahu anhu) said:
" Allah's Messenger (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: 'Whoever had
a daughter born to him, and he did not bury her alive or humiliate
her, and he did not prefer his son over her, Allah (Subhanahu wa
ta'ala) will admit him to Paradise because of her."18
The Prophet's compassion extended to females, and included sisters as
well as daughters, as is seen in the hadith narrated by Bukhari
inal-Adab al-Mufradfrom Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, who said:
"The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: 'There is no-one who
has three daughters, or three sisters, and he treats them well, but
Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) will admit him to Paradise."19
According to a report given by al-Tabarani, the Prophet (sallallahu
'alayhi wa sallam) said:
"There is no one among myummahwho has three daughters, or three
sisters, and he supports them until they are grown up, but he will be
with me in Paradise like this -" and he held up his index and middle
fingers together.20
No wise mother complains about bringing up daughters, or prefers her
sons over them, if she listens to the teachings of the Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) which raise the status of daughters and
promise Paradise as wide as heaven and earth and the company of the
Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) to the one who brings them up
and treats them properly!
In the Muslim family, and in the true Islamic society, girls are
protected, loved and respected. In the warm bosom of her parents
-especially her mother - a girl will always find protection and care,
no matter how long she stays in the home of her parents, brothers or
other family members who should support her, whether she is married or
not. Islam has guaranteed girls a life of protection, pride and
support, and has spared them from a life of humiliation, need, want
and having to earn a living, such as is the lot of women living in
societies that have gone astray from the guidance of Allah (subhanahu
wa ta'ala). In those countries, a girl barely reaches the age of
eighteen before she leaves the comfort of her parents' home to face
the hardships of a life filled with difficulties and risks at the time
when she is most in need of protection, compassion and care.
There is a huge difference between the laws of Allah (subhanahu wa
ta'ala) which came to bring happiness to mankind, and the imperfect
man-made laws which cause nothing but misery.
It comes as no surprise that in the West, as a result of these
materialistic laws, we see armies of promiscuous young men and hordes
of unfortunate, miserable, unmarried young mothers, the numbers of
which are increasing exponentially day by day.
She does not pray against her children
The wise Muslim woman does not pray against her own children, heeding
the words of the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) who forbade
such prayers lest they be offered at a time when prayers are answered.
This was stated in the lengthy hadith narrated by Jabir in which the
Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said:
"Do not pray against yourselves, or against your children, or against
your wealth, in case you say such words at a time when Allah
(Subhanahu wa ta'ala) will answer your prayer."21
Praying against one's own children is not a good habit. No mother does
so at a time of anger, but she will regret it later on after she has
calmed down. I do not think that a mother who has truly sought the
guidance of Islam would lose her mind and her equilibrium to such an
extent that she would pray against her own children, no matter what
they did. Such a woman would not allow herself to indulge in something
that is done only by foolish, hot-tempered women.
She is alert to everything that may have an influence on them
The smart Muslim mother keeps her eyes open as far as her children are
concerned. She knows what they are reading and writing, the hobbies
and activities they persue, the friends they have chosen, and the
places they go to in their free time. She knows all of this without
her children feeling that she is watching them. If she finds anything
objectionable in their hobbies, reading-materials, etc., or if she
sees them hanging around with undesirable friends, or going to
unsuitable places, or taking up bad habits such as smoking, or wasting
time and energy onharamgames that teach them to get used to
trivialities, she hastens to correct her children in a gentle and wise
manner, and persuades them to return to the straight and narrow. The
mother is more able to do this than the father, because she spends
much more time with the children, and they are more likely to open up
and share their thoughts and feelings with her than with their father.
Hence it is quite clear that the mother has a great responsibility to
bring up her children properly and form their characters in a sound
fashion, in accordance with Islamic principles, values and traditions.
Every child is born in a state offitrah(the natural, good, disposition
of mankind), and it is the parents who make him into a Jew, a
Christian or a Magian, as the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam)
said in thesahihhadith narrated by Bukhari.
There is no secret about the enormous impact the parents have on the
personality and psychological development of their child from the
earliest years until the child attains the age of reason.
The books that children read should open their minds and form their
personalities well, giving them the highest examples to follow; they
should not corrupt their minds and extinguish the light of goodness in
their souls.
Hobbies should help to develop the positive aspects of a child's
nature and reinforce good tastes, not encourage any negative
tendencies.
Friends should be of the type that will lead one to Paradise, not to
Hell; they should influence a child in a positive way and encourage
him to do good, to strive to improve himself and to succeed, not drag
him down into sin, disobedience and failure. How many people have been
brought to the slippery slope of destruction and perdition by their
friends, whilst their mothers and fathers were unaware of what was to
their own children! How wise are the words of the poet 'Adiyy ibn Zayd
al-'Ibadi concerning friends:
"If you are among people, then make friends with the best of them.
Do not make friends with the worst of them lest you become as bad as he is.
Do not ask about the man, but ask about his friends, for every person
is influenced by his friends."22
The true Muslim mother takes notice of her children's books,
magazines, hobbies, school, teachers, clubs, media interests, and
everything that may have an impact on their personalities, minds,
souls and faith. She intervenes when necessary, either to encourage or
to put a stop to something, so that the children's upbringing will not
be affected by corruption or sickness.
Successful upbringing of children depends on a mother who is alert and
intelligent, and understands her responsibility towards her children,
so that she does a good job and raises children who will be a boon to
their parents and society in general. Families that fail to raise
their children properly usually do so because the mother does not
understand her responsibility towards her children, so she neglects
them and they become a source of evil and a torment to their parents
and others.
Children would not become a source of evil if their parents,
especially the mother, knew their responsibility and took it
seriously.
She instills good behavior and attitudes in them
The Muslim woman tries hard to instill in her children's hearts
the best qualities, such as loving others, upholding the ties of
kinship, caring for the weak, respecting elders, showing compassion to
little ones, deriving satisfaction from doing good, being sincere in
word and deed, keeping promises, judging fairly, and all other good
and praiseworthy characteristics.
The wise Muslim woman knows how to reach her children's hearts and
instill these worthy qualities, using the best and most effective
methods, such as setting a good example, coming down to their level,
treating them well, encouraging them, advising and correcting them,
and being compassionate, kind, tolerant, loving, and fair. She is
gentle without being too lenient, and is strict without being harsh.
Thus the children receive a proper upbringing, and grow up
open-minded, mature, righteous, sincere, good, able to give and
prepared to make a constructive contribution in all aspects of life.
Not surprisingly, the Muslim mother's upbringing produces the best
results, for she is the first school and the first teacher, as the
poet said:
"The mother is a school: if you prepare her properly, you will prepare
an entire people of good character, The mother is the first teacher,
foremost among them, and the best of teachers."23
__________________
Footnotes:
1. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 10/61, Kitab al-imarah
wa'l-qada', bab al-ra'i mas'ul 'an ri'atihi.
2.Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/371, bab husn al-khulq.
3.Reported by Ahmad, 2/187, and by Abu Dawud with a hasan isnad,
1/193, Kitab al-salat, bab mata yu'mar al-ghulam bi'l-salat
4.Sahih Muslim, 15/75, Kitab al-fada'il, bab rahmatihi (r) wa tawadu'ihi.
5.(Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 12/264, Kitab
al-isti'dhan, bab al-taslim 'ala'l-subyan.
6.Reported by Ahmad, 2/185, and by al-Hakim, 1/62, Kitab al-iman; its
isnad is sahih.
7.(Bukhari and Muslim), Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/34, Kitab al-birr
wa'l-silah, bab rahmah al-walad wa taqbilihi.
8.Fath al-Bari, 10/426, Kitab al-adab, bab rahmah al-walad wa taqbilihi.
9.See Fath al-Bari, 8/135, Kitab al-maghazi, bab maraduhu (r) wa
wafatuhu; Abu Dawud, 4/480, Kitab al-adab, bab ma ja'a fi'l-qiyam.
10.Fath al-Bari, 6/472, Kitab ahadith al-anbiya', bab qawlihi ta'ala,
45-48 min Al 'Imran.
11.Abu Tammam, al-Hamasah, 1/167.
12.In fact it is Allah Who gives these things, not nature. This
expression is one of the effects of Westernization. [Author]
13.From an article by Salma al-Haffar in the Damacus newspaper
al-Ayyam, 3/9/1962.
14.(Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 8/296, Kitab al-'ataya
wa'l-hadaya, bab al-ruju' fi hibbah al-walad wa'l-taswiyyah bayna
al-awlad fi'l-nahl.
15.(Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 6/187, Kitab al-zakah,
bab fadl al-sadaqah 'ala'l-awlad wa'l-aqarib.
16.Sahih Muslim, 16/179, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, bab al-ihsan ila'l-banat.
17.Reported by Ahmad, 2/335 and al-Hakim, 4/176, Kitab al-birr
wa'l-silah. He said: its isnad is sahih.
18.Reported by al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak 4/177, Kitab al-birr
wa'l-silah. He said: its isnad is sahih.
19.Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/162, bab man 'ala
thalatha ihkawat.
20.Reported by al-Tabarani in al-Awsat with two isnads; the narrators
of the first isnad are rijal al-sahih. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/157.
21.Sahih Muslim, 18/139, Kitab al-zuhd, bab hadith Jabir al-tawil.
22.See Adiyy ibn Zayd al-'Ibadi: al-Sha'ir al-Mubtakir, by the author,
pp. 171-172.
23.Diwan Hafiz Ibrahim, 282. Published by Dar al-Kutub al-Misriyyah.