'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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Asalam-o-laikum My friend married her husband because he was Islamic as she is practicing herself. she has been married for the last 3 years but in-between that time they were seperated for a year )2012(. whilst they were apart he started dealing drugs, Drinking Alcohol and sleeping around. When he took her back, he promised that he would change, but didn't. Then this Sept 2013 she found a girls number on his phone and when she phones that girl, it came to light that he has been having an affair for the last year. she then went to her parents house and as soon as she moved out another girl moved in for 2 months. He has now been in touch with her again said he will change and that she should give him another chance. She has been giving him chance after chance after chance. he has been violent towards her and mentally abused her and also at one point he was drunk and forced himself upon her. Prior to getting married to her, he was a drug dealer and whilst he was in prison he started practicing. so she thought he had reformed. He always says he will never ever divorce he but at the same time will not take her back. She married him because he was practicing. my question is- she married him because he was practicing and now he isn't )Shaved his beard as well( is the marriage still valid? I really need to know this because I am really worried about my friend. she has been told different things.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammadis His Slave and Messenger.
Your question is somewhat unclear in some places, so it is better that you ask orally a trustworthy scholar or consult an Islamic center in your country. Nonetheless, we will answer your question according to the way we understood it.
From the words of the husband that he will never divorce her, we understand that she is still his wife. If this is the case, then she is still legitimately his wife, and him being dissolute does not take her outside his marriage bond.
As regards his statement that he will not take her back, if he meant that he will not have sexual intercourse with her as a wife, then he is not permitted to leave her hanging, neither divorced nor married. He has to either keep her in kindness or divorce her in kindness.
However, this man should be admonished and reminded of Allaah, called to repent from those evil deeds, and be advised to have good marital relations with his wife. If he repents and accepts advice, then praise to Allaah, otherwise, it is better for his wife to ask him for divorce even in return for compensation that she pays to him. If he does not accept, she should take her matter to one of the Islamic centers. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 225223, 94383and 92681.
Finally, we would like to point out to the following matters:
1. It is not permissible for a man to have an intimate relationship with a non-Mahram woman, as this is one of the causes of corruption and a means that leads to immorality )fornication or adultery(.
2. It is not permissible for a wife to leave the marital home without her husband's permission unless she has a legitimate reason. The fact that her husband is having an affair with that girl does not make it permissible for the wife to leave her husband’s home without his permission.
3. It is not permissible for the husband to abuse his wife by beating and humiliating her; this is an injustice especially if the wife is obedient to him. Allaah says )what means(: }But if they obey you ]once more[, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Exalted and Grand.{ ]Quran 4:34[
Allaah Knows best.
- PUBLISHER
NajimudeeN M
NajimudeeN M
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