Marital Life, - Use Your Intelligence andWisdom to Bring Happiness to Your Husband and Family

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There is no place in the entire world like a happy home in its beauty and the comfort that it radiates. Wherever we are, we will find no better place than a happy home.
How can the woman, with her intelligence, wisdom and good treatment, make a home happy and thus, make her family happy?
Dr. Hassaan Shamsi Basha is a cardiac consultant who has written many books about family life and is a prominent personality who is interested in the field of marital relations and family psychological health. He says,
Remember that you are responsible for making your husband and children happy and that the satisfaction of your husband leads you to Paradise. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Any woman who dies while her husband is satisfied with her will enter Paradise.”
Do not overburden your husband with something that is beyond his ability and do not accumulate your desires and requests and present them all at the same time so that your husband will feel exhausted and cease to be close to you. If you insist on having all that you need, your husband might refuse them all
Do not overburden him by wishing that he would adopt all the qualities and virtues that you like all at one time as it is rare to find one person who is characterized by every good quality.
When a man marries a woman, he usually keeps her good image in mind as he saw it in reality. Thus, do not distort the image that he has of you in his mind and try to preserve your beauty, elegance, health, activity and good speech. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, described the righteous woman,
Preserve your religiousness. Adhere toHijaaband do not let any non-Mahram)marriageable( man see any part of your body, even for the blink of an eye, as your husband would feel jealous and is careful that you are not be seen by any non-Mahramman.
Do not be preoccupied with housework and leave your husband neglected. Finish your tasks before your husband returns home.
Arrange your home in the best possible way and try to change the arrangement of the living room every now and then. Add your touches in choosing the places of paintings and decorations.
Do not lament the absence of the passion and love you used to daydream about before marriage. All these feelings calm down after marriage and turn into a balanced and calm love and way of life.
If the man is the one who has the decisive word in the marital relation, you are the one who is responsible for achieving success and harmony in marriage. Regardless of your culture, knowledge, status or position, you should submit to your husband and resort to him and not clash with his opinion. In
Let your husband always feel that you share his feelings, happiness, sorrows and distress. Let him feel that he is living in a calm and peaceful paradise so that he would be devoted to working, and being innovative and productive.
Speak nice words, smile brightly, make refreshing jokes and be cheerful. Avoid sadness, distress, ill speech, frowning, and desperation.
Do not waste your time chatting on the phone with your friends or reading unimportant magazines. Choose the type of magazines that would be useful to your mind and heart and that would enrich your culture and help you solve the problems of your family. Also, choose useful television programs to watch.
Encourage your husband to play physical sports outdoors. Try to go out for a walk with him, if that is possible, and enjoy the fresh air together during the weekend or whenever there is a chance.
Choose the right time for discussing family problems as it would be difficult to solve these problems before your husband goes to work as there would not be enough time. Do not discuss any problem with him when he returns from work feeling tired and exhausted. Perhaps the evening is the best time for
Do not ask your husband to play the role of police officer with your children and punish the one who is accused.
Do not criticize your husband’s behavior in the presence of the children and do not use bad phrases that would be repeated by your children like, “Here comes the monster.”
Beware of being excessively jealous or rebuking your husband too much, and avoid doing the things that make your husband jealous and distract his thoughts. ‘Abdullaah ibn Ja‘far ibn Abu Taalib, may Allaah be pleased with him, advised his daughter once, saying,“Beware of jealousy as it is the key to divorce, and
Never feel jealous because of your husband’s love for his parents as this is an inherent love that does not affect his love for you in any way.
Do not narrate your problems to your family, as this will make them hate your husband. Try to solve these problems with your husband.
Do not make your husband feel that you are superior to him if you are richer, of a higher status or more knowledgeable than him, as it is impermissible to underestimate your husband.
Do not refrain from having sexual intercourse with your husband if he wants to. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“If a man Invites his wife to have sexual intercourse with him and she refuses and he sleeps while being angry with her, the angels will continue cursing her until morning.”
Remember that obedience is the husband’s first right over his wife. Thus, you should not fast any voluntary fasts until you have his permission. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“No woman is permitted to fast ]voluntarily[ when her husband is present ]in the house[ except with his
Do not forget the favors your husband has done for you. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said that being ungrateful to the husband is a reason for entering Hell and called this denial of favors 'disbelief'. In aHadeethon the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, the
Save your husband's money and do not spend any of it without his permission and without making sure that he agrees. If your husband is poor, you can give him some of your money and if you do not have money, you should endure this difficulty patiently with him until Allaah The Almighty drives away all your
If you are a working woman do not think that your husband and children only need money. How far is the natural milk that which the child suckles from the artificial one? Is the love of the maid equal to the love and passion of the mother? Will the food of the maid be the same as the food of the wife? Will the
Do not grumble about your husband’s work as this is one of the worst things that some women do. This usually causes troubles and unhappiness. Many wives complain excessively and accuse the husband of being negligent. This may also lead the wife to resort to her mother’s house because she is angry.
Remember that your husband would see his mother everyday as the first one who woke up and then woke up all the family and prepared breakfast. She is the one who helped all the young children get dressed. He will thus not be satisfied with a woman who wakes up late.
Remember that the house that is filled with love, peace and mutual respect with little food and water is better than a house that is full of meat and the best types of food but also full of troubles and conflict.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M