'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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If you were to ask a girl who has not yet been married about the secrets of a happy marriage, she would consider it a strange question, because she is not married or because she might give a romantic dreamy answer that embodies her dreams, ideals and needs rather than reality.
Hence, if we want to discover these secrets, we should ask married women who have real experience, because the answers of such women will be more credible, practical, and realistic. Their answers would be guiding signs on the way of those who have not yet married, and useful advice to wives who have not discovered these secrets and still need to reconsider their marital relationship.
Compliment Your Husband
Randa Ahmad, who has been married for 17 years, advises every bride-to-be saying,
-To lead a happy, stable married life, you have to love your husband and understand his nature. Understanding the nature of your husband enables you to please him. Of course, this will not happen overnight; the longer you live with him, the more you will understand him.
-It is very important to be humble with him and to pay him a compliment every now and then. By doing this, you will make him happy and lead a happy, stable life with him.
Your Husband’s Weaknesses
Saamiyah Ahmad, a housewife who has been married for 25 years, says to every girl and wife,
-Know the weaknesses of your life partner; care for him, be thoughtful, and make him feel comfortable.
-If your husband likes food, master the art of cooking to make the most delicious dishes. If he loves his family, be kinder to them than he is.
Madeenah Raashid, a housewife who has been married for 57 years, offers the fruit of her long experience, saying:
-Cherish your husband in hard times as well as in the good ones. Respect whatever he says and maintain good relations with his family, especially his mother, and you will win him easily.
Say, “I love you”
Muneerah Abdul-Hameed, a working wife who has been married for 30 years, says,
-Dialogue, mutual understanding, love, and confidence. A husband can have his wife at his disposal just if he says to her “I love you”. This simple phrase will make her give you all her love, tenderness and care.
Umm Yoosuf is a housewife who has been married for 20 years. She says,
-First, you have to know that the marriage is not just a honeymoon. Marriage is a heavy responsibility that a woman has to be well-prepared for. An intelligent woman understands the nature of her husband and acts according to that nature, along with sharing his ambitions and hobbies. However, this should be within the proper limits without intruding upon your husband.
Adherence to Islam
Ameenah At-Turki, an Indonesian woman who has been married for 15 years, says,
A wife has to know her duties towards her husband as defined by the teachings of Islam and the guidance of the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. She has to always remember the saying of the Messenger of Allaah,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:“If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered a woman to prostrate herself before her husband.”
Widaad Al-Qaseer has been married for 15 years. She says,
My mother used to tell me not to compare in order not to despair. I say the same thing to all girls: if you want to lead a happy life with your husband, you have to be content with what Allaah The Almighty has granted you. If you do this, you will realize how you are truly blessed by Allaah The Almighty. Otherwise, you will never be happy no matter how hard your husband may try to please you.
Ask Your Husband
Nawaal Muhammad, a Saudi housewife who has been married for 17 years, says,
Obedience is the key to a man’s heart, and then truthfulness with him, as it generates confidence between you and him. Certainly, confidence is the cornerstone of a happy marriage. Take care of your beauty and ask your husband, from time to time, about what he wants from you and what you should do to please him. In this way, you will find out what makes him happy and what makes him unhappy.
Jameelah Muhammad Ali is a housewife who has been married for 20 years. She advises all young women, saying,
Men are all alike. All they need is delicious food, a clean, quiet house, and an obedient wife who takes care of her husband and of her beauty. This is all you have to do in order to live happily with your husband. Also, do not forget that you have to bear with him when he is angry and to support him if the going gets tough.
Your In-Laws
‘Aaydah Hanafi has been married for 37years and this is what she has to say,
Save your husband’s money, never disclose his secrets, not even to the closest people to you, and treat his mother just like you treat yours.
‘Aaydah’s daughter, Naahid Muhammad, a teacher who has been married for 13years, agrees with her mother. She says,
A wife has to create a good image of her husband in the eyes of her family. Never verbally abuse your husband. Deal with him calmly and politely. With regard to times when there are severe disagreements, a wife has to be clever enough to win her husband’s love and respect.
Aay Noor is an Algerian housewife. She has been married for 30 years. She is shedding light on being a good example and advises the family rather than the wife-to-be or the husband-to-be. She says,
My advice to all mothers is to teach their daughters how to win the love of their husbands. Teach your daughter how to take you as an example through the way you deal with her father and vice versa. Never interfere with your children’s life after they are married. You should let them lead their own life and learn from their own experience.
Naadyah Abdulmajeed, who has been married for 18 years, advises all wives, saying,
Never belittle your husband, respect his wishes and allow him to act freely. It is wrong to try to discuss something with your husband when he is angry, or to tell him about the problems of the house and the children immediately after he returns from work. You have to choose the proper time for everything. Make him respect you, maintain your dignity with him and do not let him see your tears, except rarely, so that they would not lose their effect on him.
Graduation Certificate in the Kitchen
The famous American journalist, Norma Vincent Peale, Editor in Chief of Guideposts Magazine, who is a wife with three children and seven grandchildren, says that a woman who wants to be happily married has to realize that marriage is the law of life. She adds that with this spirit, a wife will succeed in her attempts to adapt according to her husband’s needs. All that concerns husbands is to see a clean, tidy house, a table full of the food they like, clean clothes whenever they want and some personal things such as the morning newspaper. She says that a skilful wife is the one who takes care of these needs so as to keep her husband’s smile. She says that some husbands like to see their wives in their full adornment and femininity, while others prefer moderate adornment. She adds that the role of the clever wife is to do what her husband expects of her.
Peale maintains that a wife has to make her family the first priority in her life and to sacrifice any position or job for the sake of her husband and children. She says that she once visited a friend and saw her university certificate hung in the kitchen. When she asked her why she did this, her friend replied that the kitchen was the best place for a bachelor’s degree because it is the place where she can make use of what she has learned to master performing her duties as an ideal mother and wife.
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Najimudeen M
Najimudeen M
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