The Ideal Muslim Woman and Her Own Self

Islam encourages the Muslims to stand out among people, readily
distinguishable by their dress, appearance and behavior, so that they
will be a good example, worthy of the great message that they bring to
humanity. According to the hadith narrated by the greatSahabiIbn
al-Hanzaliyyah, the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) told his
Companions, when they were traveling to meet some brothers in faith:
"You are going to visit your brothers, so repair your saddles and make
sure that you are dressed well, so that you will stand out among
people like an adornment, for Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) does not
love ugliness."1
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) considered an unkempt and
careless appearance, and scruffy clothes and furnishings, to be forms
of ugliness, which is hated and forbidden by Islam.
Islam encourages the Muslims in general to stand out among the people;
the Muslim woman, in particular, is encouraged to be distinct from
other people in her appearance, because this reflects well on her, and
on her husband, family and children.
The Muslim woman does not neglect her appearance, no matter how busy
she is with her domestic chores and the duties of motherhood. She is
keen to look good, without going to extremes, because a good
appearance is an indication of how well she understands herself, her
Islamic identity, and her mission in life. The outward appearance of a
woman cannot be separated from her inner nature: a neat, tidy and
clean exterior reflects a noble and decent inner character, both of
which go to make up the character of the true Muslim woman.
The smart Muslim woman is one who strikes a balance between her
external appearance and internal nature. She understands that she is
composed of a body, a mind and a soul, and gives each the attention it
deserves, without exaggerating in one aspect to the detriment of
others. In seeking to strike the right balance, she is following the
wise guidance of Islam which encourages her to do so. How can the
Muslim woman achieve this balance between her body, mind and soul?
1 - HER BODY
Moderation in food and drink
The Muslim woman takes good care of her body, promoting its good
health and strength. She is active, not flabby or overweight. So she
does not eat to excess; she eats just enough to maintain her health
and energy. This is in accordance with the guidance of Allah
(Subhanahu wa ta'ala) in the Qur'an:
( . . . Eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not
the wasters.) (Qur'an 7:31)
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) also advised moderation in
food and drink:
"There is no worse vessel for the son of Adam to fill than his
stomach, but if he must fill it, the let him allow one-third for food,
one-third for drink, and one-third for air."2
'Umar (radhiallahu anhu) said:
"Beware of filling your stomachs with food and drink, for it is
harmful to the body and causes sickness and laziness in performing
prayers. Be moderate in both food and drink, for that is healthier for
your bodies and furthest removed from extravagance. Allah (Subhanahu
wa ta'ala) will hate the fat man (one who revels in a life of
luxury), and a man will not be condemned until he favors his desires
over his religion."3
The Muslim woman also steers clear of drugs and stimulants, especially
those which are clearly known to beharam, and she avoids the bad
habits that many women have fallen into in societies that have
deviated from the guidance of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) and His
Messenger, such as staying up late at night to waste time in idle
pursuits. She goes to sleep early and gets up early to start the day's
activities with energy and enthusiasm. She does not weaken her energy
with late nights and bad habits; she is always active and efficient,
so that her household chores do not exhaust her and she can meet her
targets.
She understands that a strong believer is more loved by Allah
(Subhanahu wa ta'ala) than a weak believer, as the Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) taught, so she always seeks to
strengthen her body by means of a healthy lifestyle.
She exercises regularly
The Muslim woman does not forget to maintain her physical fitness and
energy by following the healthy practices recommended by Islam. But
she is not content only with the natural, healthy diet referred to
above: she also follows an organized exercise program, appropriate to
her physical condition, weight, age and social status. These exercises
give her body agility, beauty, good health, strength and immunity to
disease; this will make her more able to carry out her duties, and
more fit to fulfill her role in life, whether it be as a wife or
mother, young girl or old woman.
Her body and clothes are clean
The Muslim woman who truly follows the teachings of Islam keeps her
body and clothes very clean. She bathes frequently, in accordance with
the teachings of the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) who
advised Muslims to take baths, especially on Fridays: "Have a bath on
Fridays and wash your heads, even if you are not in a state
ofjanabah(impurity, e.g. following marital relations), and wear
perfume."4
"Whoever attends Friday prayer, man or woman, should take a bath (ghusl)."5
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) placed such a great
emphasis on cleanliness and bathing that some of the Imams considered
performingghuslbefore Friday prayer to be obligatory (wajib).
Abu Hurayrah (radhiallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu
'alayhi wa sallam) said:
"It is the duty of every Muslim to take a bath (at least) once every
seven days, and to wash his head and body."6
Cleanliness is one of the most essential requirements of people,
especially women, and one of the clearest indicators of a sound and
likeable character. Cleanliness makes a woman more likeable not only
to her husband, but also to other women and her relatives.
Imam Ahmad and al-Nisa'i report that Jabir (radhiallahu anhu) said:
"The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) came to visit
us, and saw a man who was wearing dirty clothes. He said, 'Could this
person not find anything with which to wash his clothes?"
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) hated to see people come
out in public wearing dirty clothes when they were able to clean them;
he drew attention to the fact that the Muslim should always be clean,
smart and pleasing to look at.
This teaching which is directed at men, is directed even more so at
women, who are usually thought of as being more clean, the source of
joy and tranquility in the home. There is no doubt that the woman's
deep sense of cleanliness reflects on her home, her husband and her
children, because it is by virtue of her concern for cleanliness that
they will be clean and tidy.
No researcher, of whatever era or country, can fail to notice that
this teaching which encourages cleanliness and bathing, came fifteen
hundred years ago, at a time when the world knew next to nothing of
such hygienic habits. A thousand years later, the non-Muslim world had
still not reached the level of cleanliness that the Muslims had
reached.
In her bookMin al-riqq ila'l-sayadah, Samihah A. Wirdi says: "There is
no need for us to go back to the time of the Crusades in order to know
the level of civilization in Europe at that time. We need go back no
further than a few hundred years, to the days of the Ottoman Empire,
and compare between the Ottomans and the Europeans to see what level
the Ottoman civilization had reached.
"In 1624, Prince Brandeboug wrote the following on the invitations to
a banquet that he sent to other princes and nobles: Guests are
requested not to plunge their hands up to the elbow in the dishes; not
to throw food behind them; not to lick their fingers; not to spit on
their plates; and not to blow their noses on the edges of the
tablecloths."
The author adds: "These words clearly indicate the level of
civilization, culture, knowledge and manners among the Europeans. At
the same time, in another part of Europe, the situation was not much
different. In the palace of the King of England (George I), the ugly
smell emanating from the persons of the King and his family
overpowered the grandeur of their fine, lace-edged French clothes.
This is what was happening in Europe. Meanwhile in Istanbul, the seat
of thekhilafah, it is well-known that the European ambassadors who
were authorized by the Ottoman state be thrown into baths before they
could approach the sultan. Sometime around 1730, during the reign of
Sultan Ahmad III, when the Ottoman state entered its political and
military decline, the wife of the English ambassador in Istanbul, Lady
Montague, wrote many letters which were later published, in which she
described the level of cleanliness, good manners and high standards
among the Muslims. In one of her memoirs she wrote that the Ottoman
princess Hafizah had given her a gift of a towel that had been
hand-embroidered; she liked it so much that she could not even bear to
wipe her mouth with it. The Europeans were particularly astounded by
the fact that the Muslims used to wash their hands before and after
every meal. It is enough to read the words of the famous English nurse
Florence Nightingale, describing English hospitals in the
mid-nineteenth century, where she describes how these hospitals were
full of squalor, negligence and moral decay, and the wings of these
hospitals were full of sick people who could not help answering the
call of nature on their beds . . ."7
What a great contrast there is between the refined civilization of
Islam and other, human civilizations!
She takes care of her mouth and teeth
The intelligent Muslim woman takes care of her mouth, for no-one
should ever have to smell an unpleasant odor coming from it. She does
this by cleaning her teeth with asiwak, toothbrush, toothpaste and
mouthwash after every meal. She checks her teeth and visits the
dentist at least once a year, even if she does not feel any pain, in
order to keep her teeth healthy and strong. She consults
otolaryngologists ("ear, nose and throat" doctors) if necessary, so
that her breath will remain clean and fresh. This is undoubtedly more
befitting for a woman.
'A'ishah (radhiallahu anha) used to be very diligent in taking care
of her teeth: she never neglected to clean them with asiwak, as
Bukhari and Muslim reported from a number of theSahabah(radhiallahu
anha).
Bukhari reported from 'Urwah (radhiallahu anha) via 'Ata':
"We heard 'A'ishah the Mother of the Believers cleaning her teeth in
the room . . ."8
Muslim also reported from 'Urwah (radhiallahu anha) through 'Ata':
"We heard her using thesiwak. . ."9
'A'ishah (radhiallahu anha) said:
"The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) never woke from
sleeping at any time of day or night without cleaning his teeth with
asiwakbefore performingwudu'"10
The Prophet's concern for oral hygiene was so great that he said:
"If it were not for the fact that I did not want to overburden
myummah, I would have ordered them to use thesiwakbefore every
prayer."11
'A'ishah (radhiallahu anha) was asked what the Prophet (sallallahu
'alayhi wa sallam) used to do first when he came home. She said,
"Usesiwak."12
It is very strange to see that some Muslim women neglect these
matters, which are among the most important elements of a woman's
character, besides being at the very heart of Islam.
They are among the most important elements of a woman's gentle
nature, and they reveal her feminine elegance and beauty. They are
also at the heart of Islam because the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa
sallam) urged cleanliness on many occasions, and he detested
unpleasant odors and an ugly appearance. He said:
"Whoever eats onions, garlic or leeks should not approach our mosque,
because whatever offends the sons of Adam may offend the angels."13
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) banned those who had eaten
these pungent vegetables from coming anywhere near the mosque, lest
the people and the angels be offended by their bad breath, but these
smells pale into insignificance beside the stench of dirty clothes,
filthy socks, unwashed bodies and unclean mouths that emanates from
some careless and unkempt individuals who offend others in gatherings.
She takes care of her hair
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) also taught Muslims to take
care of their hair, and to make it look attractive and beautiful,
within the limits of Islamic rulings.
This is reported in the hadith quoted by Abu Dawud from Abu Hurayrah
(radhiallahu anhu), who said:
"The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: 'Whoever
has hair, let him look after it properly.'"14
Looking after one's hair, according to Islamic teaching, involves
keeping it clean, combing it, perfuming it, and styling it nicely.
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) did not like people to
leave their hair uncombed and unkempt, so that they looked like wild
monsters; he likened such ugliness to the appearance of the Shaytan.
Inal-Muwatta', Imam Malik reports a hadith with amursal isnadfrom
'Ata' ibn Yassar, who said:
"The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) was in the
mosque, when a man with unkempt hair and an untidy beard came in. The
Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) pointed to him, as if
indicating to him that he should tidy up his hair and beard. The man
went and did so, then returned. The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa
sallam) said, 'Is this not better than that any one of you should come
with unkempt hair, looking like the Shaytan?'"15
The Prophet's likening a man with untidy hair to theShaytanclearly
shows how concerned Islam is with a neat and pleasant appearance, and
how opposed it is to scruffiness and ugliness.
The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) always took note of
people's appearance, and he never saw a scruffily-dressed man with
untidy hair but he criticized him for his self-neglect. Imam Ahmad and
al-Nisa'i report that Jabir (radhiallahu anhu) said:
"The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) came to visit
us, and he saw an unkempt man whose hair was goin in all directions,
so he said, 'Could he not find anything with which to calm his
head?'"16
If this is how he Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) taught men to
take care of themselves, then how much more applicable are his
teachings to women, for whom beauty and elegance are more befitting,
as they are the ones to whom men draw close and seek comfort,
tranquility and happiness in their company! It is obvious to the
sensitive Muslim woman that the hair is one of the most important
features of a woman's beauty and attractiveness.
Good Appearance
It is no surprise that the Muslim woman is concerned with her clothes
and appearance, without going to extremes or making a wanton display
of herself. She presents a pleasing appearance to her husband,
children,mahramrelatives and other Muslim women, and people feel
comfortable with her. She does not put them off with an ugly or untidy
appearance and she always checks herself and takes care of herself, in
accordance with the teachings of Islam, which asks its followers to
look good in ways that are permitted. In a commentary on theayah:
( Say: Who has forbidden the beautiful [gifts] of Allah, which He has
produced for His servants, and the things, cleans and pure, [which He
has provided] for sustenance? . . .) (Qur'an7:32)
Al-Qurtubi said: "Makhul reported from 'A'ishah (May Allah be pleased
with her): 'A group of the Companions of the Prophet (sallallahu
'alayhi wa sallam) were waiting at the door for him, so he prepared to
go out to meet them. There was a vessel of water in the house, and he
peered into it, smoothing his beard and his hair. ('A'ishah said) I
asked him, "O Messenger of Allah, even you do this?" He said, "Yes,
when a man goes out to meet his brothers, let him prepare himself
properly, for Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) is beautiful and loves
beauty."'"17
The Muslim does all of this in accordance with the Islamic ideal of
moderation, avoiding the extremes of either exaggeration or
negligence:
( Those who, when they spend, are not extravagant and not niggardly,
but hold a just [balance] between those [extremes].) (Qur'an 25:67)
Islam wants its followers, and especially its advocates (da'is), to
stand out in gatherings in an attractive fashion, not to appear
unsightly or unbearable. Neglecting one's appearance to the extent of
being offensive to one's companions in the name of asceticism and
humility is not part of Islam. The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa
sallam) who was the epitome of asceticism and humility, used to
dress in decent clothes and present a pleasant appearance to his
family and companions. He regarded dressing well and looking good to
be a demonstration of the Blessings of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) :
"Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) loves to see the signs His gifts on His
servant."18
Ibn Sa'd reports inal-Tabaqat(4/346) that Jundub ibn Makith
(radhiallahu anhu) said:
"Whenever a delegation came to meet the Messenger of Allah
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) he would wear his best clothes and
order his leading Companions to do likewise. I saw the Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) on the day that the delegation of
Kindah came to meet him; he was wearing a Yemeni garment, and Abu Bakr
and 'Umar were dressed similarly."
Ibn al-Mubarak, Tabarani, al-Hakim, al-Bayhaqi and others report that
'Umar (radhiallahu anhu) said:
"I saw the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) ask for a
new garment. He put it on, and when it reached his knees he said,
'Praise be to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) , Who has given me clothes
with which to cover myself and make myself look beautiful in this
life.'"19
So long as this taking care of one's outward appearance does not go
to extremes, then it is part of the beauty that Allah (Subhanahu wa
ta'ala) has allowed for His servants and encouraged them to adopt:
( O children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and
place of prayer: eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah
loves not the wasters.
Say, Who has forbidden the beautiful [gifts] of Allah, which He has
produced for His servants, and the things, clean and pure, [which He
has provided] for sustenance? Say: They are, in the life of this
world, for those who believe, [and] purely for them on the Day of
Judgement. Thus do We explain the Signs in detail for those who
understand.) (Qur'an 7:31-32)
Muslim reports from Ibn Mas'ud (radhiallahu anhu) that the Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said:
"No-one who has even an atom's -weight of pride in his heart will
enter Paradise." A man asked him, "What if a man likes his clothes and
shoes to look good?" (Meaning, is this counted as pride?) The Prophet
(sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: "Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) is
beautiful and loves beauty. Pride means denying the truth and looking
down on other people."20
This is the understanding adopted by theSahabahand those who followed
them sincerely. Therefore Imam Abu Hanifah (radhiallahu anhu) always
took care to dress well and to ensure that he smelled clean and fresh,
and urged others to do likewise. One day he met a man who used to
attend his circle, who was dressed in scruffy clothes. He took him to
one side and offered him a thousanddirhamswith which to smarten
himself up. The man told him, "I have money; I do not need this." Abu
Hanifah admonished him: "Have you not heard the hadith,'Allah
(Subhanahu wa ta'ala) loves to see the signs of His gifts on His
servant'? So you have to change yourself, and not appear offensive to
your friend."
Naturally, those who call people to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala)
should be better and smarter in appearance than others, so that they
will be better able to attract people and make their message reach
they hearts.
Indeed they, unlike others, are required to be like this even if they
do not go out and meet people, because those who proclaim the word of
Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) should take care of their appearance and
pay attention to the cleanliness of their bodies, clothes, nails and
hair. They should do this even if they are in a state of isolation or
retreat, in response to the call of the natural inclination of man
(fitrah) which the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) told us
about and outlined its requirements:
"Five things are part of thefitrah: circumcision, removing the pubic
hair, plucking hair from the armpits, cutting the nails, and trimming
the moustache."21
Taking care of oneself in accordance with thisfitrahis something
encouraged by Islam and supported by every person of common sense and
good taste.
She does not go to extremes of beautificationor make a wanton display of herself
Paying attention to one's appearance should not make a Muslim woman
fall into the trap of wanton display (tabarruj) and showing her beauty
to anyone other than her husband andmahramrelatives. She should not
upset the balance which is the basis of all Islamic teaching, for the
Muslim woman always aims at moderation in all things, and is on the
alert to prevent any one aspect of her life from taking over at the
expense of another.
She never forgets that Islam, which encourages her to look attractive
within the permitted limits, is also the religion that warns her
against going to such extremes that she becomes a slave to her
appearance, as the hadith says:
"Wretched is the slave of thedinar, dirhamand fancy clothes of velvet
and silk! If he is given, he is pleased, and if he is not given, he is
displeased."22
Our women today, many of whom have been influenced by the
international fashion houses to such an extent that a rich women will
not wear an outfit more than once, have fallen into that slavery of
which the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) warned and, as a
result, they are trapped in the misery of that senseless enslavement
to excessively luxurious clothing and accessories. Such women have
deviated from the purpose for which humanity was created in this
world.
One of the worst excesses that many modern Muslim women have fallen
into is the habit of showing off expensive outfits at wedding parties,
which have become fashion shows where competition is rife and is taken
to extremes far beyond the realms of common sense and moderation. This
phenomenon becomes clearest when the bride herself wears all her
outfits, which may number as many as ten, one after the other: each
time she changes, she comes out and shows it off to the other women
present, exactly like the fashion models in the West. It does not even
occur to the women among whom this habit is common, that there may be
women present who are financially unable to buy such outfits, and who
may be feeling depressed and jealous, or even hostile towards the
bride and her family, and other rich people. Nothing of this sort
would happen if brides were more moderate, and just wore one or two
outfits at their wedding parties. This is better than that extravagant
showing-off which is contradictory to the balanced, moderate spirit of
Islam.
No doubt the Muslim woman who has surrounded herself with the
teachings of this great religion is spared and protected from such
foolish errors, because she has adopted its principles of moderation.-
(to be continued....) -