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Monday, September 16, 2013

Fathwa, - Please tell me what to do...I can't stop my sins..

Question:
I am a 17 year-old female. I been engaged for the past 4 years. I got
engaged because my parents wanted me to and I didn't want to hurt them
in any way. I had decided to try to love the person I am engaged and
do what is the best. But last year I met this guy. We started with
being great friends and then things just got serious between us. We
are so in love that we can't spend a day without talking to each
other. We both know that our parents won't agree. We have known each
other for the past 16 months and in these 16 months we have tried very
hard to separate but it never lasts.I don't know what to do anymore.
Please help me before I take a wrong path. I have tried praying and
all but now I even feel bad that I pray because I am guilty. But I
can't stop myself from this sin.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Dear Sister,
Assalamu alaikum,
I pray this message finds you well.
Thank you for your question.
As I see it, there are two pressing issues you have to deal with:
1.It is unlawful to have a relationship with the man you met last
year. Even if you weren't engaged, it would still be impermissible to
continue this relationship. Because you are engaged, it is imperative
that you extricate yourself from this situation. We women have to
honor ourselves by not placing ourselves in situations which
compromise our religion, our integrity, and our wellbeing. Although
you have strong feelings for this person, you have to look at the harm
that he is doing by involving you in an illicit relationship. If he
really cared, then he would respect the fact that you are engaged and
move on.
2.You must also consider the unhappiness and dissatisfaction that
likely led you to this situation. You agreed to get engaged to someone
just to please your parents. Moreover, you've been engaged since the
tender age of 13. This is a long time. Perhaps this engagement was not
the best choice for you. Perhaps you need to give yourself time to
grow spiritually and emotionally.You need to make the Guidance
Prayerand ask Allah Ta'ala to show you the best course of action. You
also need to break off the illicit relationship. It is better for you
in the short and long term.
You also owe it to yourself, your fiance, and your family to be
honest. Are you really interested in marrying your fiance?
I pray that Allah Most High guides you to the decision that is best
for both your dunya and akhira.

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