'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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I have recently married my husband, I can't control the way I feel.
I'm always feeling threatened by other women around. I also feel very
insecure and jealous. It's really affecting our relationship. I just
feel so insecure. I know he loves me very much. I just can't stop the
way I'm feeling. He feels I don't have faith in him and trust him. I
really need to know how to control the way I feel. It's making me so
paranoid. I love him deeply and I am always scared of losing him.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful
Dear Sister,
Assalamu alaikum,
I pray this message finds you well.
Have you examined what may be underlying these feelings? What are you
doing with your time, besides worrying about these other women? Do you
have any causes you're passionate about? What projects are you working
on? What goals have you set for yourself?
How much time do you make for yourself? Do you take the time to
beautify yourself for your husband?
How do you view yourself and your achievements?
Obviously, your husband married you because he found something
attractive in you. Alhamdulillah, he loves you, so this, in itself,
should be reassuring. Is he practicing? If he observes the proper adab
with these women, then you should not worry.
Instead, you should focus on setting--and meeting--your own personal,
intellectual, spiritual, and marital goals.
The only person you should be comparing yourself with is yourself.
Stop worrying about these other women. Assess where you are now and
where you'd like to be. Then work towards that. It might be useful to
read the life stories of the Prophet's wives and the female
Companions, may Allah be pleased with them. If we devoted a fraction
of our time to emulating their examples, then we' d have so much to
focus on that is good and positive. Focus on what's good and positive
for you and your husband and leave this suspicion alone. Seek refuge
in Allah from shaytan. Give your husband the trust he deserves. After
all, doesn't he trust you?
And Allah knows best.
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