Dought & clear, - Dealing with the fitnah (temptation) of women.

I have read the words ofthe Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him), "I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more
harmful to men than women." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5096; Muslim,
2740.
My question is: how can I save myself from this temptation, when I see
iteverywhere – in the street, on TV, on the internet, at work…?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has created man in a world of trials and tests, and He has made
Paradise the abode of His friends and beloved ones, who preferred His
pleasure over their own and preferred obedience to Him over their
physical comfort. And He has made Hell theabode of those among His
slaves who disobey Him and preferred their own whims and desires to
the pleasure of their Lord. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"Such is the Paradise which We shall give as an inheritance to those
of Our slaves who have been Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)"
[Maryam 19:63]
"But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained
himself from impure evil desires and lusts.
Verily, Paradise will be his abode"
[al-Naaz'i'aat 79:40-41]
And He says concerning the people of Hell (interpretation of the meaning):
"Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up
As-Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost,
either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by
not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed
lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell"
[Maryam 19:59]
And He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"That shall be their recompense, Hell; because they disbelievedand
took My Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations,
etc.) and My Messengers by way of jest and mockery"
[al-Kahf 18:106]
"Then for him who transgressed all bounds, (in disbelief, oppression
and evil deeds of disobedience to Allaah).
And preferred the life of this world (by following his evil desires and lusts),
Verily, his abode will be Hell-fire"
[al-Naazi'aat 79:37-39]
So the Muslim must strive to worship Allaah and keep away from that
which angers Allaah, for Allaah will notcause the reward the one who
does good to be lost:
"As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide
them to Our paths (i.e. Allaah's religion — Islamic Monotheism). And
verily, Allaah is with the Muhsinoon (good-doers)"
[al-'Ankaboot 29:69 – interpretation of the meaning]
One of the fitnahs (temptations) with which we are tested is the
fitnah of women, as the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more
harmful to men than women." There follow some of the methods by which
we can avoid this temptation. We ask Allaah to set the affairs of the
Muslims straight.
1 – Faith in Allaah.
Faith in Allaah and fear of Allaah provide a safety valve and protect
a person against committing haraam actions and following his own whims
and desires.
If the believer becomes aware that Allaah is always watching and if he
ponders the meanings of His names and attributes, such as the
All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the Watchful, the
Reckoner, the Preserver, the All-Encompassing, that will generate fear
of Himin secret and in public, and will put a stop to disobedience
towards Allaah, and will reduce the strength of desire that leads many
people to commit haraam actions.
2 – Lowering the gaze and avoiding looking at haraam things
The gaze can generate bad thoughts in the heart, which then lead to
ideas and then to desires, then to will and resolve, and then
inevitably to doing haraam things. Think about the meaning of this
verse which makes aconnection between the first steps towards haraam
and the end result. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden
things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexualacts).
That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do"
[al-Noor 24:30]
Ibn Katheer said: "This is a command from Allaah to His believing
slaves, tolower their gaze and avoid looking at that which is
forbidden to them so that they only look at that which they are
permitted to look at. If it so happens that a person's gaze
accidentally falls upon something haraam, he should turn his gaze away
from it quickly.
3 – Warding off evil thoughts
Bad thoughts pose a danger to the heart… If aperson dwells on them and
does not push them away, they will develop into an idea, then into
will and resolve, then this will inevitably lead to haraam actions.
Beware of dwelling on passing thoughts; rather what you must do is to
ward them off and crowd them out with good thoughts.
The treatment, then, is to ward off these passing thoughts and keep
yourself busy with beneficial thoughts.
4 – Marriage
It was narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn Mas'ood said: The Prophet(peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "O young men, whoever among
you can afford it,let him get married, and whoever cannot, let him
fast, for it will be a shield for him." Narratedby al-Bukhaari, 5065.
5 – Fasting for those who cannot afford to get married
– because of the hadeeth quoted above, in which it says, "…and whoever
cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him." Narratedby
al-Bukhaari, 5065.
Al-Qurtubi said:
The less a person eats, the weaker his desire becomes, and the weaker
his desire is, the less sins he commits.
6 – Keeping away from bad companions.
The Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A man
will follow the way of his close friends, so let each one of you look
at who he takes as a close friend." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 8433;
classed ashasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood, 4046.
7 – Keeping away from places of temptation.
It is obvious that we are living in a society that is filled with
temptation – media of all types, magazines, flirting in
themarketplaces, satellite TV, the internet, etc… So you have to flee
from all of these in order to keepyour religious commitment sound.
8 – Do not make your houses graves.
Make your house a reminder of obedience, not of sin. If a room is
connected to sin for example, that will make a person commit sin
repeatedly, because every time he enters thatroom he will remember the
sin and may be provoked to commit the sin again. So he should make his
room and his house a reminder of obedience to Allaah, so when he
enters he sees the Mus-haf which he reads, and he remembers praying
qiyaam al-layl for Allaah, and the regular Sunnah prayers that he
offers in this room. Doing a lot of acts of worship in your house will
make a connection in your mindbetween the house and doing good deeds,
so you will do more and will think less of sin, and the calls of
desire will grow less.
9 – Trying to make the most of your time in worshipping and obeying Allaah.
Time is one of the great blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon His
slaves, but there are many who are not making the most of it. It was
narrated that Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Two
blessings which many people do not make the most of: good health and
spare time." Narrated by al-Bukhaari,6412.
See also question no. 3234.
10 – Remembering the blessings of the Hereafter.
Particularly appropriate in this context is remembering al-hoor
al-'iyn and their attributes, whom Allaah has prepared for those who
are patient and steadfast in avoiding sin.This can help the Muslim to
look at these transientharaam pleasures which only lead to regret and
loss.
We ask Allaah to help us to avoid temptation, both obvious and hidden.
Praise be to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds.