Dought n clear, - The wisdom behind limiting divorce (talaaq)to three

I do not know why Islamdoes not allow the man to marry his wife again
if he has divorced her then he wants to take her back. The Qur'an
states that she has to marry another man first,then only after that
can the first husband marry her again. That does notseem logical to
me; rather I think it is harsh.
Praise be to Allah.
What the individual must do is obey the commands of Allah, may He be
exalted, and be certain that He is the most wise of judges; His
command cannot be rejected and His rule cannot be overturned. There is
wisdom and goodness in all His rulings, and they are in our best
interests.
"And who is better in judgement than Allah fora people who have firm Faith?"
[al-Maa'idah 5:50].
Because He, may He be glorified, is the Creator of His slaves, He
knows best what is in their interests. He, may He be glorified, has no
need ofHis slaves, is far above any injustice, and is mostmerciful to
His creation. As He is like that, His rulings must be the ultimate in
justice, wisdom and compassion.
The individual may know the wisdom behind the commands and
prohibitions, or he may be unaware of it, but he is enjoined to obey
in all circumstances, because this is the state of the weak slave
before the Almighty Lord and Sovereign. If he disputesthe wisdom of
his Creator (in a particular ruling), he has gone beyond the bounds of
faith and true servitude to Allah, as He, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger
have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their
decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed
strayed in a plainerror"
[al-Ahzaab 33:36]
"Butno, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you (O
Muhammad SAW) judge in all disputes between them, and find in
themselves no resistanceagainst your decisions, and accept (them) with
full submission"
[an-Nisa' 4:65].
There is nothing to prevent the individual from asking and lookingfor
the wisdom behind rulings, in order to increase his faith and
certainty.
The one who ponders the issue of divorce will become certain of the
mercy and wisdom of Allah. Divorce is painful and harmful for the
woman, hence the Lawgiver is very strict about it and has restricted
it so that people will not be heedless about it.
If the man, every time hedivorced his wife, was able to make a new
marriage contract with her and take her back, a man might divorce his
wife dozens of times, and each time he would be harming her and
breaking her heart, thenpeople of goodwill would try to reconcile
between them, or the woman might feel sorry for her children, so she
goes back to her husband. This is obviously unfair and unjust to her.
But if the husband knows that the third divorce will make his wife
irrevocably divorced from him, in the sense that he will not be able
to take her back until after she has married another man who then dies
or divorces her, but he maynot die or divorce her, then he would be
afraid of divorce and would keep away from it, and he would not resort
to it except in cases of necessity or urgent need. In that there is
mercy for the wife and protection for the family, and it prevents
people being heedless about the matter or toying with it.
There is also another kind of wisdom behind it, which is that the man
may be hasty in divorcing the first time, then he may regret it and
take his wife back. Then if he divorces her asecond time, he will be
doing so with insight and knowledge. Then if he divorces her a third
time, that – in most cases– will indicate that they cannot live a
stable life together, so there is no point in carrying on with this
miserable life, and perhaps separation will be a relief and mercy for
both of them, as Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"But if they separate (bydivorce), Allah will provide abundance for
everyone of them from His Bounty. And Allah is Ever All-Sufficient for
His creatures need, All-Wise"
[an-Nisa' 4:130].
The scholars have commented on the wisdom behind making divorce three times:
At-Taahir ibn 'Aashoor (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The wisdom behind this great legislation is to deter husbands from
taking their wives' rightslightly and making them like toys in their
houses. So the husband is given the first divorce as a mistake, the
second as a test and the third as a separation, as the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said in the hadeeth
about Moosa and al-Khidr: "Thefirst time was due to forgetfulness on
the partof Moosa, the second time led to the stipulation of a
condition, and the third time was deliberate. Hence al-Khidr said to
him after the third time:'This is the parting between me and you'
[al-Kahf 18:78]."
End quote fromat-Tahreer wa't-Tanweer, 5/415
Ibn al-Humaam al-Hanafi(may Allah have mercy on him) said: He may have
false feelings that he does not need her (his wife) any more, or that
there is a need to leave her, then this idea may take hold of the
individual, but when thedivorce takes place, he may regret it and feel
distressed and become impatient (to take her back). Therefore Allah,
may He be glorified and exalted, ordained that divorce may be done
three times, so that he might test himself the first time. Then if the
reality of divorce confirms his feelings, he may persist until the
'iddah ends. Otherwise he can try to redeem thesituation by taking her
back, then if he again feels as he did the first time and that feeling
becomes so overwhelming that he divorces her again, he will have
another opportunity to think about it after the seconddivorce. Then by
the time he issues the third divorce, he will be very certain of what
he wantsto do, and after the thirddivorce there are no more excuses.
End quote fromSharh Fath al-Qadeer, 3/465
And Allah knows best.