Dought & clear - He weeps when he hearsQur’aan but he does the secret habit and mistreats his parents. Is he a hypocrite?.

I read on a website about the characteristicsof the beloved prophet
,and this made me cry. I also cry sometimes while praying in the
masjid, especially if the imam has a passionate voice. Despite this, I
fall in sins like masturbation, and talking loudly to my father. I
read on your website about the reasons of such sins and how to stop
doing them. My question is: AmI considered hypocrite by committing
such sins?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We think that your asking whether you are a hypocrite or not is a sign
of much goodness in you in sha Allaah, because when a Muslim fears
that he may fall into hypocrisy, this indicates that his heart
is(spiritually) alive and that he is keen to protect his faith.
Ibraaheem al-Taymi said:Whenever I examine my words against my deeds,I
fear that I am insincere.Al-Hasan al-Basri said of hypocrisy: No one
fears it but a believer, and no one feels safe from it buta hypocrite.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The more faith and knowledge a person has,the more he will fear that
he may be among this class of people (i.e., hypocrites), hence the
leaders and earliest generations of this ummah were so afraid that
they might be among them. 'Umar usedto say to Hudhayfah: I adjure you
by Allaah, didthe Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) mention me along with the people (i.e., the hypocrites)? He
said: No, but I would not praise anyone after you, meaning; I would
not praise people (by saying that they are not mentioned among the
hypocrites). It does not mean that 'Umar was theonly one who was free
of hypocrisy.
Tareeq al-Hijratayn(p. 604)
The greatest of the awliya' (close friends of Allaah) feared this for
themselves.
1 – Ibn Abi Mulaykah said: I met thirty of the companions of the
Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), all of whom feared
being hypocrites, and none of them ever said that he had faith
equivalent to that of Jibreel and Mikaa'eel.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The most prominent among Sahaabah whom Ibn Abi Mulaykah met were:
'Aa'ishah, her sister Asma', Umm Salamah, the four 'Abd-Allaahs, Abu
Hurayrah, 'Uqbah ibn al-Haarith and al-Miswar ibn Makhramah. These are
among those from whom he heard hadeeth. He also met other more
prominent Sahaabah than these, such as 'Ali ibn Abi Taaliband Sa'd ibn
Abi Waqqaas, and he confirmed that they were afraid of hypocrisy in
their actions and nothing to the contrary was narrated from any of the
Sahaabah, so it is as if there was consensus on this matter. That is
because the believers' deeds maybecome contaminated with elements that
undermine ikhlaas (sincerity towards Allaah). The fact that they
feared it does not mean that they fell into it, rather it means that
they were extremely cautious and pious, may Allaah be pleased with
them.
Fath al-Baariby Ibn Hajar(1/110,111).
2 – al-Haafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
al-Ja'd Abu 'Uthmaan said: I said to Abu Raja' al-'Attaaridi: Did you
meet anyone whom I met of the companions of the Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) who feared falling into hypocrisy? He
said: Yes. Praise be to Allaah I met some of the prominent ones among
them, and they used to fear it a great deal. And he had met 'Umar.
3 – and he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Among those of the Sahaabah who used to seek refuge with Allaah from
falling into hypocrisy were: Hudhayfah, Abu'l-Darda' and Abu Ayyoob
al-Ansaari. Among the Taabi'een there were many who did that. Ibn
Sireen said: There is nothing I fear more thanthis verse
(interpretationof the meaning):"And of mankind, there are
some(hypocrites) who say: 'We believe in Allaah andthe Last Day,'
while in fact they believe not" [al-Baqarah 2:8]. Ayyoobsaid: Every
verse in the Qur'aan which mentions hypocrisy I fear lest it apply to
me. Mu'aawiyahibn Qurrah said: 'Umar used to fear it, so how I can
feel safe from it? al-Hasan spoke a great deal concerning this matter,
as did the imamsof Islam after them.
According to a report narrated by Ibn Haani', Imam Ahmad was asked:
What do you say about one who does not fear hypocrisy for himself?
Hesaid: Who can feel safe from hypocrisy?
Fath al-Baariby Ibn Rajab (1/178, 179).
Pay attention to two important matters:
1 – The hypocrisy that was feared by those imams among the Sahaabah
and those who came after them was hypocrisy in deeds, which leads to
hypocrisyin the heart, which leadsone to Hell – we seek refuge with
Allaah – this is the kind of hypocrisy which is mentioned in a number
of ahaadeeth which warn the Muslim against acquiring its
characteristics, such as the following:
It was narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn 'Amr said: The Messenger of
Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There are
four characteristics, whoever has them all is a pure hypocrite, and
whoever has one of them has one of the characteristics of hypocrisy,
until he gives it up: when he speaks helies, when he makes a covenant
he betrays it, when he makes a promise he breaks it, and when he
disputes he resorts to obscene speech."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (34) and Muslim (58).
It was also narrated (2632) by al-Tirmidhi (may Allaah have mercy on
him) who said after it:
What this means according to the scholarsis hypocrisy of action. It
was the hypocrisy of disbelieving at the time of the Messenger of
Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Something similar
was narrated from al-Hasan al-Basri when he said: Hypocrisy is of two
types: hypocrisy of action and hypocrisy of disbelief.
End quote.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
This goes back to what we mentioned above: that hypocrisy may be minor
or major. Minor hypocrisy is hypocrisy of action, which is what these
people feared for themselves. It leads to major hypocrisy which
isfeared for the one who is overcome by minor hypocrisy to such an
extent that it robs him offaith altogether, as Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"when they turned away(from the path of Allaah), Allaah turned their
hearts away (from the Right Path)"
[al-Saff 61:5]
"And We shall turn their hearts and their eyes away (from guidance),
as they refused to believe therein for the first time"
[al-An'aam 6:110]
Fath al-Baariby Ibn Rajab (1/179).
Imam al-Nawawi commented on this hadeeth … See hisSharh Muslim(2/46-48).
2 – These prominent figures were the most righteous of people in
heart, and they were those who most respected the sacred limits and
were least likely to transgress them,but because of their great
awareness of theirLord and their fear of Hiswrath, they would regard a
minor sin – if they fell into it – as a major sin. Some of them feared
showing off, and others feared falling short in their deeds lest their
actions contradict their words, and others thought that being
distracted by permissibleinteractions in their homes with their wives
and families even though they focused properly in gatherings of dhikr
was a kind of hypocrisy.
It was narrated that Hanzalah al-Usaydi said: Abu Bakr met me and
said: How are you, O Hanzalah? I said: Hanzalah has become a
hypocrite. He said: Subhaan Allaah! What are you saying? I said: When
we are with the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) he reminds us of the Fire and the Garden until it isas if we
are seeing them with our own eyes, but when we depart from the
Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), we
attend to our wives and children and businesses, and we forget a great
deal. Abu Bakr said: By Allaah, we experience something similar. Abu
Bakr and I went and entered upon the Messenger of Allaah(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him), andI said: Hanzalah has become a
hypocrite, O Messenger of Allaah. The Messenger of Allaah(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Why is that?" I said: O
Messenger of Allaah, when we are with you, you remind us of the Fire
and the Garden until it is as if weare seeing them with our own eyes,
but when we depart from you, we attend to our wives and children and
businesses, and we forget a great deal. The Messenger of Allaah(peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "By the One in Whose hand
is mysoul, if you continued as you are when you are with me, and
continued to remember (Paradise and Hell), the angels would shake
hands with you in your homes and on the streets. But, O Hanzalah,
there is a time for this and a time for that" (he said it) three
times.
Narrated by Muslim (2750).
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to the words "we attend to ourwives and children and businesses",
Al-Harawi and others said: What this means is that we get absorbed
with that and get busy with it.
"businesses" refers how a man earns a living.
"Hanzalah has become a hypocrite" means: he was afraid that he had
become a hypocrite, because he felt the fear of Allaah when he was
sitting with the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
andthat was manifested in the way he focused on remembrance of Allaah
and thinking of the Hereafter, but when he departed he became
distracted by his wife and children and earning a living in this
world, and the basic meaning of hypocrisy is showing the opposite of
what one conceals of evil, so he was afraid that he was a hypocrite
because of that. But the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) told him that this was not hypocrisy, and that they were not
expected to be like that all the time. "There is a time for this and a
time for that."
Sharh Muslim(17/66, 67)
Al-Haafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
When it became clear to the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them)
that hypocrisy meant a difference between one's inner thoughts and
outward appearance, some of them feared that if they lost the focus
and presence of mind they attained when they listened to reminders,
after they returned to worldly matters and were distracted by their
families and children and wealth, that this was hypocrisy, as was
narrated inSaheehMuslimfrom Hanzalah al-Asadi … and he quoted the
hadeeth –
Fath al-Baariby Ibn Rajab (1/111).
With regard to your situation, you have to fear more than those pure
awliya' (close friends of Allaah) amongthe Sahaabah, Taabi'eenand
subsequent generations did, because you are disobeying Allaah by doing
the secret habit and by mistreating your parents. Your saying thatyou
sometimes raise your voice somewhat to your father will not excuse you
from the warning of punishment. You are forbidden to sayeven "uff" (a
mild word of objection) to your parents, so how about if you raise
your voice and speak loudly to them? What you must do is beware lest
your sins lead you to a bad end.
Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) gave a chapter heading to
the report he narrated from Ibraaheem al-Taymi, Ibn Abi Mulaykah and
al-Hasan al-Basri – whichwe have quoted above –saying: Chapter on the
believer's fear that his deeds may be cancelled out without him
realizing.
And he ended this chapter by saying:
And there is fear for the one who persists in hypocrisy and sin
without repenting, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):"and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while
they know" [Aal 'Imraan 3:135].
End quote.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
What the words of al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) – And
there is fear for the one who persists in hypocrisy and sin without
repenting, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):"and do
not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know" [Aal
'Imraan 3:135]– mean is that if one persists in sin and the various
types of hypocrisy without repenting there is the fear that the one
who does that may be punished by having his faith taken away
altogether, so that he becomes a complete hypocrite and meets a bad
end – we seek refuge with Allaah from that – as it is said that sinis
the way to kufr.
Fath al-Baariby Ibn Rajab (1/181).
Secondly:
We encourage you to continue softening your heart and weeping when you
hear Qur'aan, and listening to exhortations, and at the same time we
encourage you to repentfrom sinful actions and to refrain from doing
the secret habit, and to refrain from mistreating your parents. We
encourage you to hastento apologize to them and to honour them
andtreat them kindly in word and deed. Beware of continuing to sin
without repenting, and remember that the one who truly fears Allaah is
not the one who weeps and sheds tears, rather he is the one who gives
up something for which he fears he may be punished.
What we have quoted toyou of warnings about that is sufficient, in sha
Allaah, to make you hasten to repent and turn to Allaah.
And Allaah knows best.