Common family problemsand solutions - I

·My husband buys drugs and takes them
The problem:
I am a married woman and I havefour children. My problem is thatmy
husband buys drugs and takes them. He has even allocateda room in the
house to these poisons and I fear that he may harm my children and me
when he is affected by these drugs. I advised him many times and
threatened to expose him, but he threatens me with divorce. How
should I deal with him knowing that he really frightensme?
The answer:
You should not remain with him as long as he is in such a state,
because he may harm you and your children. You have to expose him and
report him to the authorities concerned, after telling his family and
yours. If they see that he may respond toadvice or threats, then
there is noharm. However, if he continues using these poisons that
destroy reason and health, then, stayingwith him will be very
dangerous for you and your children as he may harm or even kill them.
He also spends his money in vain in order to have something that
destroys reason and health.
Consequently, exposing him is better because it will deter him and
his counterparts even if thisled him to prison.
His threat with divorce should not frighten you, because it is better
for you to be divorced than stay with him while he is an addict. In
addition, if he divorcesyou, he will be the loser as he will lose his
wife and no one willaccept him after being exposed.
Be sure that Allaah The Almighty will make a way out for you, so,
save yourself and your children from this great danger.
And Allaah knows best.
·My husband is kind but he is a drug addict
The problem:
I am a married woman and I havechildren. My husband is a good man and
respects me very much. However, he takes drugs and I advised him many
times but he did not respond to me. What should I do?
The answer:
He should be advised, censured, and informed about the harms and evil
consequences of taking these poisons, which cause insanity and makes
the addict worse than animals. He should beencouraged through telling
him that is it easy for him to come offthese drugs as long as he
seeks the help of Allaah The Almighty and has strong determination.
In such a case, he will succeed indefeating his evil desires and it
only requires a couple of days of patience to get rid of these drugs
permanently. He should seek the help of Allaah The Almighty and show
patience in the face of the withdrawal symptoms.
However, if he refuses to respondand continues taking these
prohibited drugs, then you have to ask for divorce. In such a case,
it is allowed for the woman to report him to the concerned
authorities so that hewill be punished. That is because this will
eventually lead him to insanity, which may harm her and her
children.
And Allaah knows best.
·My husband is extravagant
The problem:
My husband is generous to the extent of extravagance. When I discuss
this issue with him, he says that one will take nothing with him
after death except his coffin. However, we live in a leased house.
Is he right? How should I deal with him as he does not respond to my advice?
The answer:
This is foolish behavior, as it wastes money on unnecessary things.
Money is not available for all people and acquiringit requires
strenuous efforts. Hence,one should be wise and keep away from
extravagance, as Allaah The Almighty Says (whatmeans):{…But be not
excessive. Indeed, He likes not thosewho commit excess.}[Quran 7:31]
Allaah The Almighty also forbade extravagance; He Says (what
means):{And do not spend wastefully. * Indeed, thewasteful are
brothers of the devils, and ever has Satan been tohis Lord
ungrateful.}[Quran 17:26-27]
Allaah The Exalted does not love extravagant people who are the
brothers of the devils. One shouldkeep his money to secure housing
and other needs of his family. The fact that he will only take his
coffin when he leaves this world does not mean that he is allowed to
be extravagant when it comes to food, drink, clothes, and luxuries.
And Allaah knows best.
My stepmother levels ceaseless accusations at me
The problem:
I am an orphan girl, and my stepmother levels ceaseless accusations
at me and troubles me frequently. The real problemis that she
pretends that she is kind and good before my father,who believes her.
She threatens me that she will encourage my father to marry me off to
the firstone who proposes to me. What should I do?
Advise me, may Allaah reward you.
The answer:
This is one of the trials through which Allaah The Almighty tests
some people and it may be greatly rewarded by Allaah The Almighty if
you endure patiently.
You should advise her to stop this behavior and frighten her with the
punishment and torment of Allaah The Exalted, who is Exalted in Might
and the Owner of Retribution.
You have to treat her kindly to avoid her evil in addition to meeting
evil with goodness hoping that she would come to know that she is
wrong.
Be kind to her even if she wrongsyou, maintain ties with her evenif
she severes them, and be honest with her even if she betrays you. You
should also asksome sisters to advise her and remind her of the
punishment of Allaah The Almighty and the punishment of lying and
injustice, which will be darkness over darkness on the Day of
Judgment.
You should do the same with your father when you are alone with him.
You should inform him about everything politely andkindly along with
serving and obeying him. You should do your best to please him and
draw his attention to the evil consequences of unsupported
illthoughts and injustice.
It is good for you to ask some of your male or female relatives to
explain the reality to your fatherand warn him against believing the
lies he is told and having ill thoughts.
This may alleviate your suffering and you shouldhave good expectations
of AllaahThe Almighty and be sure that He will facilitate your
affairs. So, perform the acts of worship and draw closer to Allaah
The Almighty through obedience, seek refuge with Him against
worries, sorrows, evil morals, gloating of enemies and the oppression
of men, and He answers whoever supplicates Him.
·My son does not observe the prayers, should I order him to leave the house?
The problem:
My son does not observe the prayers. Should I order him to leave the house?
I fear that this may lead to what is worse. Please advise me.
The answer:
If you fear that expelling your sonfrom the house would pervert him
more and more such as becoming an addict, gay, an adulterer or so on,
then, you should not expel him, especially, if he is still young or
under the age of twenty. That is because the youth at this age easily
fall into evil given their naivety and heedlessness about potential
dangers.
However, you should beat him forneglecting the prayers, as the
Prophet,, said:"Command yourchildren to perform the prayers when they
are seven yearsold, and beat them for (not offering) it when they are
ten."[Ahmad, Al-Haakim and Abu Daawood]
If he does not respond, then, report him to the concerned authorities
to come to warn him and make him promise to observe the prayers. If
he did not respond, they will punish himby imprisoning him or so on.

He should accompany righteous youth, as they are more capable of
influencing him and dissuading him from evil and immorality.
You should also keep him away from bad friends hoping that hewill
follow the right path.