Discover the Reality of: {And you will never be able to be equal}

Some people may think that there is a contradiction between the two
noble verses in which Allaah The Almighty says (what means):
· } And if you fear that youwill not deal justly with the orphan
girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three
or four. { [Quran 4:3] and
· } And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives,
even if you should strive [to do so]. { [Quran 4:129]
We say that as long as these texts come from one source, it cannot be
imagined that there could be a contradiction between them.
Those who oppose polygyny give 'evidence' of its impermissibility with
this verse: } And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling]
between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. { [Quran 4:129]
They conclude that the verse states the inability to be fair and
equal, and thus, it becomes impermissible. This is a refutable
malicious allegation. The Quranic verses do not contradict each other
so that something would be permissible in one verse and impermissible
in another. The Quran enjoins man to treat his wives fairly. Allaah
The Almighty Says (what means): {And if you fear that you will not
deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of
[other]women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not
be just, then [marry only] one} [Quran 4:3] The Prophet, , said: "If a
man has two wives and he favors one of them, he will come on the Day
of Judgment witha slanting side."
There is no contradiction between the obligatory fairness and the
negationof its possibility of being fulfilled in the verse in which
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): } And you will never be able to
be equal[in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do
so]. { [Quran 4:129]
This is because the required equality is in terms of expenditure,
residence, and night stay.This is the apparent and attainable
equality. It does not mean equality in terms of love and sexual
intercourse because no man is able to achieve this. Muhammad ibn
Seereen said, "I asked 'Abeedah about the meaning of this verse. He
said, 'Fairness with regard to love and sexualintercourse.'" Abu Bakr
ibn Al-'Arabi said, "He ('Abeedah) spoke the truth because this
(equality in love) is not possible because his heart is between two
Fingers [1] of Allaah which He disposes as He wills. Similarly, it is
not possible to achieve this equality in sexual intercourse because
the husband may be ready to have it with one of his wives and not the
other. As long as he does not do so deliberately,he is not faulted for
something that he cannot do. Accordingly, there is no obligation upon
him in this regard."
'Aa'ishah said that the Messenger of Allaah, , would treat his wives
fairly, saying: "O Allaah, this is my division concerning what I
possess, so do not blame me concerning what You possess and I do not."
He meant here the love and inclination of the heart. There is no
equality conditioned in this regard. This meaning is expressed in the
verse in which Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): } And you will
never be able to be equal[in feeling] between wives, even if you
should strive [to do so]. { [Quran 4:129]
According to Abu Daawood and others this means that one cannot be fair
in terms ofthe heart's inclination as man cannot control his heart.
All of us know that the Messenger of Allaah, , who was the fairest
person and the mentor ofhumanity, would love 'Aa'ishah more than
others because the heart is between two Fingers [2] of the Fingers of
the Most Merciful. When he was asked about the dearest person to him,
he replied: "'Aa'ishah." When the questioner asked who was the dearest
man, the Prophet, , replied: "Her father (Abu Bakr)."
Although the Messenger of Allaah, , knew that he loved 'A a ishah
more, he would be fair with all his wives in giving, financial
maintenance and night stay. He would draw lots among his wives before
his travel and battles to choose which of them would travel with him.
This is the fairness withinone's ability.
To sum up, the noble verse (what means): } Andyou will never be able
to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to
do so]. { [Quran 4:129] meansthat it is impossible to love all wives
equally. Nonetheless, the husbandshould not incline completely towards
one wife leaving the other wife hanging, without divorce. Rather, he
should be kind to her to regain her amiability.
The Prophet, , had the same understanding of this verse; therefore, he
would be fair with all his wives and say: "O Allaah, this is my
division concerning what I possess, so do not blame me concerning what
You possess and I do not posses." He meant here his heart's
inclination to 'Aa'ishah more than tohis other wives.
[1] We believe in and affirm the Attributes of Allaah that occur in
the Quran and authentic Hadeeths of the Prophet, , without distorting
their wordings or meanings, nor denying, nor asking how, nor drawing
resemblance between Allaah and any of His creation.
[2] We believe in and affirm the Attributes of Allaah that occur in
the Quran and authentic Hadeeths of the Prophet, , without distorting
their wordings or meanings, nor denying, nor asking how, nor drawing
resemblance between Allaah and any of His creation. - - ▓███▓
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