Look Beyond the Packaging: How to Choose a Husband, Wife or Friend

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"Published by, M NajimudeeN Bsc - INDIA|®|"- - - - *-Translator:->
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Is his hair nicely styled? Ishe the perfect height? Are his dimples so
cute when he smiles?
Is her makeup just right? Does her body have the perfect curves? Do
her feet arch perfectly in those killer high heels?
This is packaging, it's irrelevant.
American, Pakistani, Arab, African, black, white, this is a veneer.
These qualities are insignificant by any true, spiritual standard.
When you're feeling ill and are curled up in bed, it's not an Arab or
American whoholds your hand and tells you that it will be okay, who
takes your temperature and cools your forehead with a towel, who makes
you chicken soup with lemon… it's a human being, a husband or wife who
loves you.
We must get beyond superficial and meaningless classifications like
race and nationality. In one ofthe most powerful condemnations of
tribalism that I have ever read, the Prophet Muhammad (sws) said, in a
hadith narrated by At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud,
"There are people who boast of their dead ancestors; but they are more
contemptible in thesight of Allah than the black beetle that rolls
dung with its nose. Behold, Allah has removed from you the arrogance
of the time of Jahiliyyah (Ignorance) with its boasting of ancestral
glories. Man is but a God-fearing believer or a miserable sinner. All
people are the children of Adam, and Adam was made from dust."
And about the impulse to nationalism and racism ingeneral, he said,
"Leave it, it is rotten." (Agreed upon).
Alright, how about this: That guy wanting to court you, is his Armani
suit cut just right? Are his shoes sleek and stylish?
That woman who caught your eye, does her dress drape elegantly on her figure?
You know what? That Armani suit can't stand on its own. It needs a
hangar to stay upright. That elegant dress can't raise your children
right.
We must learn to look beyond appearances. I'm not saying that
appearance is irrelevant, but how much of our attraction is based on
true human beauty, and how much is based on distorted standards and
poisonous imagery pumped into our brains by TV, movies, and
advertising? In other words, to what degree have we been brainwashed?
The world of advertising teaches us to focus on the wrong things.
Consultants are paid millions to design the perfect package for a
boxof cereal or an energy drink, just the right shape and bright color
tocatch your eye and enticeyou to open your wallet. Meanwhile, the
product –likely as not – is actually bad for you, consisting ofsugar,
salt, chemicals anddyes. These advertisers are teaching us to make
choices based on packaging and image.
What they are teaching us is entirely ruinous and wrong.
Human beings are not consumer products. We're not disposable. When you
marry someone you're in it for the long haul. You're with them when
they wake up in the morning with crust in their eyes and hair pressed
to one side of the their head; when they get laid off from work
because the company is "downsizing", and you don't know how the bills
will get paid next month; when they're depressed, tired, sick; when
they make mistakes, when they say and do the wrong things, when
theylose their temper, when they're afraid or insecure…
This is as serious as it gets. This is life, and a shiny but empty
package won't get you through it,won't help on you the path, won't
hold you up when you're weak, or make you laugh when you're down. The
package can't do that. Remember that when you buy something, the
package ends up in the trash. If you choose someone for the
packageonly, you may be bitterly disappointed when the storm comes and
no one is there to shelter you, or to hold.
These are lessons learnedthrough heartache and disappointment.
Look deeper. Find a gentle and honest heart, a strong backbone, a
striving spirit. Look to what the person does, how they live, how they
treat people, how they relate to the Almighty. Look to that shimmering
soul inside, and discern whether it's a selfish and bitter soul, or
loving and true. Look beyond the packaging to the core, and trust your
God-given instincts, and you'll find yourself a rare happiness,a
precious partnership, or a true friend.
The most beautiful, powerful things in the world don't come in
disposable packages. Mountains, trees, ocean, sky, stars… their true
attributes are bared to the world. They don't need packages because
they are stunning and profound in their essence.
As someone said, beautiful things are not always good, but good things
are always beautiful.
By basing your life choices on matters of substance, you'll avoid
social and financial traps that ruin so many. You'll build friendships
as real and solid as mountains, with people you can trustwith your
reputation, your heart and your life. You'll do work that matters, and
leave a legacy that improves people's lives in unforgettable ways.