Maintaining the ties of kinship

various Hadeeth of the Prophet, , call strongly for the upholding of
kinship ties and encourage this by offering worldly and religious
rewards.
There is no doubt that a society whose members maintain family
relations and treat each other mercifully forms an invincible fortand
a fortified castle. It produces close-knit families and a solid social
structure that provides the world with leaders, instructors, thinkers,
teachers, callers and reformers, who carry the torches of guidance to
their nation and all of humanity.
This article focuses on upholding good relations with kindred, which
is among the greatest and noblest morals.
Definition
Kinship ties refer to a person's bond with his paternal and maternal
relatives; and, maintaining them implies being good and kind to one's
relations in both words and deeds. This includes visiting them, asking
after them, supporting the needyamong them and helping them with their
affairs.
There are many virtues of upholding kinship ties, as doing so is:
1- A sign of faith: Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet, , said:
"Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day should behospitable to
his guest; and whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day should
maintain his kinship ties; and whoever believes in Allaah and the Last
Day, should speak well or remain silent." [Al-Bukhaari] In this
Hadeeth, the Prophet, , referred to three things that make people
cooperate with and love each other: extending a warm welcome to
visitors, preserving the ties of kindred andusing kind words. In fact,
he, , established a connection between these qualities and faith, in
effect, saying that anyone who believes in Allaah The Almighty and the
Last Day does not sever his kinship ties; and, that is because
maintaining kinship ties is a sign of faith.
2- A cause for increased blessings in one's provisions and age: All
people want to have a luxurious and prolonged life, because the desire
for possessions and life aretwo basic instincts in every human being.
Therefore, whoever wants to achieve this should have good relations
with his or her family, as Anas narrated that the Prophet, , said:
"Whoever loves to be granted ample provisions and a long life, should
maintain good ties with his or her relatives." [Al-Bukhaari]. In a
different wording, 'Ali related that the Prophet, , added that if such
aman also "desires to be [..] protected against an evil end [of life],
let him fear Allaah The Almighty and maintain good ties with his
relatives." [Al-Bazzaar and Al-Haakim]
3- A reason for Allaah The Almighty to also maintain ties with a
servant and honor him or her: 'Aa'ishah related that the Prophet, ,
said: "The womb [i.e., ties of kinship] is suspended from the throne
[of Allaah The Almighty], saying: Whoever preserves me, Allaah will
uphold ties with him [or her] and he who severs me, Allaah willsever
the bond with him." [Muslim] Allaah The Almighty positively responds
to this plea, thereby treating with kindness those who keep good
relations with family and cutting off those who do not. And,
certainly, it would be horrible for a weak, helpless slave if Allaah
The Almighty severed ties with him.
4- A factor that enables one to be admitted to Paradise: The Prophet,
, said: "O people exchange greetings (i.e., say: 'As-salaamu 'Alaykum'
(peace be on you) to one another), feed people, maintain kinship ties
and pray at night when others are asleep, so that you may enter
Paradise in peace." [Ahmad, At-Tirmithi and ibn Maajah]
Maintaining ties of kinship does not mean visiting, helping or serving
one's relatives in return for similar deeds on their part. True
upholding of family relations is to do so with those kith and kin who
sever their bondwith us. Thus, it refers to visiting relatives who do
not visit us, and being good to those who wrong us. 'Abdullaah ibn
'Amr ibn Al-'Aas narrates that the Prophet, , said: "A man who
perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not he who recompenses the
good done to him by his relatives; rather, he is the one who is on
agreeable terms with those kin who have severed [their] bond with
him." [Al-Bukhaari]
In another Hadeeth on the authority of Abu Hurayrah it was mentioned
that a man came to the Prophet, , and said: "I have relatives whom I
maintain ties with, but they cut me off, and I treat them kindly, but
they deal badly with me. I am gentle with them, but they are harsh to
me.'' The Messenger of Allaah, , replied: "If you are as you say, it
is as if you are feeding them hot ashes; you will have a supporter
from Allaah against them, as longas you continue to act the way you
are." [Muslim]
Imaam An-Nawawi said: "Hotashes are used as a metaphor to demonstrate
that such relatives bear as much guilt as the pain and agony
experienced by the person who eats them. As for theone who treats such
relatives kindly, there is no argument against him, rather they are
the ones who commit a grievous sin by mistreating and harming him."
Moreover, this Hadeeth is a consolation for the many who are afflicted
with rude relatives; in their repayment of evil with good and the
former's meeting their wickedness with goodness, it is evident that it
is only the