Kindness at home

religion, full of wisdom and harmony. If this wonderful religion is
followed properly then a typical Muslim would only be a great example
to follow. The Prophet said: " The most perfect believer in faith is
the one who is best in moral character..." [At-Tirmithi]
Spreading kindness at home:
'Aa'ishah said: "The Messenger of Allaah said: '"When Allaah, The
Almighty,Willssome good towards the people of a household, He
introduces kindness among them.'" [Ahmad]
According to another report: "When Allaah loves the people of a
household, He introduceskindness among them." [Ibn Abu Ad-Dunyaa] In
other words, they start tobe kind to one another.
This is one of the means of attaining happiness at home, for kindness
is very beneficial between the spouses, and with thechildren, and it
brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the
Prophet said: "Allaah loves kindness and rewards forit in such a way
that He does not reward for harshness or for anythingelse." [Muslim]
Helping the wife with the housework:
Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think
that it will undermine their status and position if they help their
wives with this work. The Messenger of Allaah however, used to "sew
his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do
in their homes." [Ahmad]
This is how 'Aa'ishah responded when she wasasked about what the
Messenger of Allaah used to do in his house; she described what she
herself had seen. According to another report, she said: "He was like
any other human being; he would clean hisclothes, milk his ewe and
serve himself." [Ahmad]
She was also asked about what the Messenger of Allaah used to do in
his house, and she said, "He used to serve his family, then when the
time for prayercame, he would go out topray." [Al-Bukhaari]
If we Muslim men were to do likewise nowadays,we would achieve three things:
1. We would be following the example of the Prophet .
2. We would be helping our wives.
3. We would feel morehumble and down to earth.
These narrations should act as a reminder to those men, who demand
food instantly from their wives, when the pot is onthe stove and the
baby is screaming to be fed; theydo not pick up the child or wait a
little while for the food.
Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the family:
Showing affection towards one's wife and children is one of the things
that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in
the home. Thus the Messenger of Allaah advised Jaabir to marry a
virgin, saying,
"Why did you not marry avirgin, so you could play with her and she
could play with you, and you could make her laugh and she could make
you laugh?" [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
The Prophet also said:" Everything in which Allaah's name is not
mentioned is idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing
with his wife..." [An-Nasaa'ee]
The Prophet used to treat his wife 'Aa'ishah affectionately when
performing Ghusl (ritual bath) with her, as she said: "The Messenger
of Allaah and I used to perform Ghusl together from one vessel, and he
would playfully pretend to take all the water so that I would say,
'Leave some for me, leave some for me.'" [Muslim]
The ways in which the Prophet showed affection towards young children
are too famous to need mentioning. He often used to show his affection
towards his grandchildren Hasan and Husayn. This is probably one of
the reasons why the children used to rejoice when he came back from
traveling; they would rush to welcome him, as reported in the
following authentic narration: "Whenever he cameback from a journey,
the children of his household would be taken out to meet him." He used
to hug them close to him, as 'Abdullaah Ibn Ja'far said:"Whenever the
Prophet came back from a journey, we would be taken out to meet him
(to the boundaries of Al-Madeenah). One day we met him, Hasan, Husayn
and I. He carried one of us in front of him (on his animal), and
another on his back, until we entered Al-Madeenah." [Muslim]
Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where there is
no joking or playing, affection or mercy among its members. Whoever
thinks that kissing his children goes against thedignity of fatherhood
should read the following narration reported from Abu Hurayrah who
said:
" The Messenger of Allaah kissed Al-Hasan Ibn 'Ali, and Al-Aqra' Ibn
Haabis At-Tameemi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' said: 'I have ten
children and I have never kissed any one of them.' The Messenger of
Allaah looked at him and said: 'The one who does not show mercy will
not be shown mercy.'"