True stories » I, the Liar

Hello to everyone here!!!
After some frequent visitson this website and after reading some
stories, I decided to finally share mine as well. It's about cheating,
but on my part.
I am 34 years old, married and have a beautiful girl.
My story began when I had decided to go abroad, because I wanted to
make some money and also because Iwas curious to why everyone wants to
travel around the world. So, I left for Italy with my sister and we
were relying on a friend of ours to help us find a job there.
We arranged to meet the above-mentioned friend named T. And at first,
I didn't pay too much attention when I saw him. Although, his height
made him impossible not to notice. So, after a few times meeting him I
realized how kind, smiling and easy going he was.
He had some problems with his wife, who he had left in Canada and kept
begging to come to Italy. Gradually, we reached a point in which I
began to like this man and started wanting him a 100 %.
I wasn't expecting anything besides sex. I was confused, in a foreign
country with a foreign language, with some people that I didn't
understand and with him; kind, caring and in love with me.
However, he quickly started dreaming about how we were going to create
our own life, how I was going to get a divorce, how much he loved me.
I wasn't feelingthe same way. I wanted to go back to Canada andback to
what I had left there; he was also acting weird after living without a
woman for so long.
And so, I couldn't handle this anymore, I kept thinking about my child
and I left for Canada. Then my pain started. I immediately felt the
lack of attention, affection, the spark in my sex life and we began
maintaining an endless phone relationship by writing secret text
messages in the middle of the night. "My love, amore, sweetheart."
The distance was making us want each other even more. This is when I
made all the mistakes than I did and I told him a bunch of lies. I was
telling him how I hated my husband and that I wanted a divorce. It
wasn't easy to live like this at all.
I was lying to the both of us. I changed, became frustrated and my
husband reacting to this didn't take long. There were constant
scandals that were making my child suffer when she heard them.
Everything was a complete mess.
T. was pushing me to leave and go to him and Icouldn't leave my child
and my husband. There was also something else that was more important
than everything.
I was not in love with T., even though I used to sayit back to him all
the timewhen he told me that he loved me. I didn't want a future with
a man that I didn't have strong feelings for. THIS KEPT GOING ON FOR 3
YEARS.
During this period we spent very little time physically together,
because this was only possible when he came back to Canada and I could
come up with an excuse. I did know that I had to put a stop to this
living hell that I had created myself.
Every night, I was full with regrets. I kept thinking how I did't
deserve neither one of them. I couldn't find the words to express my
desire to break it off withT. So, I left it to him to figure it out.
I didn't get a divorce. I continue living with this huge burden on my
shoulders which remained unshared. I made an attempt to meetwith T.
and to tell him how I felt, but it was another mistake, becausehe saw
it as a willingness to continue our relationship and to try to have a
life together one day.
I gave up and I stopped contacting him and so did he. I hope that he
hasfound his true love. Regardless, I still feel awful about it.
I messed up T.'s life with my lies and I ruined my family's balance
and trust. Nothing is the sameanymore.
So there it is, I shared my lie with you and I hope that someone might
understand how I feel, even though I am not a very good writer. I
don't know if I'll get a reply from any of you, but at least my story
can serve as an example.