The Status of the Family in Islam

What does Islam teach about the family and theroles of men , women and Children?
Praise be to Allaah.
Before we find out about the role of Islam in organizing and
protecting the family, we should first find out what the situation of
thefamily was before Islam, and what it is in the West in modern
times.
Before Islam, the family was based on mistreatment and oppression. All
affairs were controlled only by men or in other words, the males, and
women and girls were oppressed and humiliated. An example of that is
that if a man died and left behind a wife, his son by another wife had
the right to marry her and control her life, or to prevent her from
getting married. Men were the only ones who could inherit; women and
children had no share. They viewed women, whether they were mothers,
daughters or sisters, as a source of shame, because they could be
taken as prisoners, thus bringing shame upon the family. Hence a man
would buryhis infant daughter alive, as is referred to in the Qur'aan,
where Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to
any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward
grief!
He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof
he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonour or bury her
inthe earth? Certainly, evil is their decision"
[al-Nahl 16:58]
The family in the broader sense, i.e., the tribe, was based on
supporting one another in all things, even in wrongdoing.
When Islam came, it did away with all that and established justice,
giving each person his or her rights, even nursing infants, and even
the miscarried foetus who was to be respected and prayed for (i.e.,
given a proper funeral).
When you examine the family in the West today you will find that
families are disintegrating and the parents cannot control their
children, whether intellectually or morally. The son has the right to
go wherever he wants and do whatever he wants; the daughter has the
right to sit with whoever she wants and sleep with whoever she wants,
all in the name offreedom and rights. And what is the result? Broken
families, childrenborn outside marriage, (elderly) mothers and fathers
who are not looked after. As some wise men have said, if you want to
know the true nature of these people, go to the prisonsand the
hospitals and seniors' homes, for children do not remember their
parents except on holidays and special occasions.
The point is that many non-Muslims the institution of family is
destroyed. When Islam came it paid a great dealof attention to the
establishment of strong families and protecting them from things that
could harm them, and preserving family ties whilst giving each member
of the family animportant role in life.
Islam honoured women, whether as mothers, daughters or sisters. It
honoured women as mothers. It was narratedthat Abu Hurayrah (may
Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came tothe Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, "O Messenger of
Allaah, who among people is most deservingof my good company?" He
said, "Your mother." He asked, "Then who?" He said, "Your mother." He
asked, "Then who?" He said, "Your mother." He asked, "Then who?" He
said, "Then your father."
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)
Islam honours women asdaughters. It was narrated from Abu Sa'eed
al-Khudri that theMessenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: "Whoever has threedaughters or three sisters, or
two daughtersor two sisters, and takes good care of them and fears
Allaah with regard to them, will enter Paradise."
(Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, 2/190)
And Islam honours women as wives. It was narrated that 'Aa'ishah said:
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am
the best of you to my wives."
(Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 3895).
Islam gave women their rights of inheritance andother rights. It gave
women rights like those of men in many spheres. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Womenare the twin halves of
men." (Narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan, 236, from the hadeeth
of'Aa'ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood,
216).
Islam encourages men totreat their wives well, and gives women the
freedom to choose their husbands; it gives women much of the
responsibility for raising the children.
Islam gives fathers and mothers a great deal of responsibility for
raising their children. It was narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn 'Umar
heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) say, "Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.
The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for hisflock. The man is
the shepherd of his family and he is responsible forhis flock. The
woman is the shepherd of her husband's household and is responsible
for her flock. The servant is a shepherd of his master's wealth and is
responsible for his flock." He said, I heard this from the Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 853; Muslim,1829)
Islam paid a great deal of attention to implanting the principle of
respect for fathers and mothers, taking careof them and obeying their
commands until death. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you
be dutiful to your parents. If one ofthem or both of them attain old
age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at
them but address them in terms ofhonour"
[al-Isra' 17:23]
Islam protects the honour, chastity, purity and lineage of the family,
so it encourages marriage and forbids free mixing of men and women.
Islam gives each family member an important role to play. So fathers
and mothers take care ofthe children and give them an Islamic
upbringing; children areto listen and obey, and respect the rights of
fathers and mothers, on a basis of love and respect. Even our enemies
have borne witness to the strength of family ties among the Muslims.
And Allaah knows best.