The girl’s guardians are asking for advice: shouldthey agree to let her marry a European who has recently become Muslim?

My daughter is at university, in the seventh year of medicine, and she
is twenty-five years old. She has a friend who is married to an
Algerian in Germany; they are both Algerian. This couple met a German
businessman who said that he had become Muslim. He is fifty-one years
old, divorced with two children, and he is looking for a religiously
committed Muslim woman. He asked this couple for help and advice, and
my daughter's friend told him about my daughter. He contacted her via
the Internet and tempted her with the offer of everything she is
looking for, including completion of her specialised studies overseas.
My daughter was impressed with this idea, and hastened to suggest it
to the family. After studying the matter, we – her family –found the
following problems:
- We do not know anything about whetherhis Islam is genuine.
- We do not know anything about his character.
- We do not know anything about his true origins.
- We do not know anything about his true intentions.
- There is no compatibility in age.
- There is no compatibility in social environment.
- Our daughter's children will not be Arabs.
- He can find what he wants in Germany.
This is as far as he is concerned; as far as our daughter is
concerned, we can sum it up as follows:
- There is no worry about the girl's future, seeing that she is a doctor.
- Alternatives are available in her own country, as there are plenty
of young Algerianmen
- Preservation of Islamic and Arabic values is a religious obligation.
Hence our family decided to seek your advice so that you can give us
the shar'i opinion on this matter; perhaps we have neglected some
shar'i aspect of the matter.
Praise be to Allaah.
Although we appreciate your daughter telling her family about this
man's offer and what he has promised her, we donot approve of her
corresponding with and talking to a man who is not her mahram.
Although she may have been wise and mature – praise be to Allah –
thereare many other girls who have fallen victim to such
correspondence.
After thinking about what you have told us about your daughter and
about that German man, we strongly advise you not to accept him as a
husband for your daughter. The points you have listed are sufficient
for a ruling of this type. The shar'i prescription that the guardian
should play a fundamental role in the marriage contract is supremely
wise, lest the girl follow her whims and desires and accept any sweet
talk that may make her build up false hopes. The proof of that is that
you did not want to base your judgement solely on what you felt about
this man; rather you also hastened to submit a question to
thiswebsite. This indicates – in sha Allah – that you are a family
that is fit to be in this position of responsibility, as you aretrying
sincerely to protect your daughter.
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) advised
guardians to choose those who are good andrighteous to marry the
females under their guardianship, namely those who are pleasing in
terms of religious commitment and character. It was narrated that Abu
Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "If there comes to
you one with whose attitudeand religious commitment you are pleased,
then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him,
for if you do not do that therewill be fitnah in the landand
widespread corruption."
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967; classed as hasan by
al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.
A man said to al-Hasan: I have a daughter; to whom do you think I
should give her in marriage? He said: Gave her in marriage to one who
fears Allah, may He be exalted, for if he loves her he will honour
her, and if he resents herhe will not mistreat her.
How can you find out this man who wants to marry your daughter? Here
we should point out that he may really bea Muslim, and he may be
sincere in his wishes, butyou do not know any of that, or anything
else, about him. If we assume that it has confirmed to you that he is
a sincere Muslim, the other things that you mention after his being
Muslim are alsosufficient to rule that he is not suitable to marry
your daughter. And among these things, it is sufficient that she
wouldbe living in a non-Muslim country, andshe would be studying and
working in their environment and in their country, which gives rise to
fear for her religious commitment and morals. Usually the differences
of environments, languages and natures has a negative impact, which
leads to failure of the marriage in many cases.
Hence we agree with you completely that you should reject this
marriage, and we adviseyour daughter to forget about accepting this
man as a husband. She should understand that the opinion of her
familyand those who have more knowledge than she does about men and
environments should, beyond any shadow of adoubt, take precedence over
her opinion. She should ask her Lord to choose for her the best of
righteous men to be her husband, so together they can establish a
family based on obedience to Allah and raise – in sha Allah
–righteous children.
We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to guide her to the best of words,
deeds and attitudes, and to bless her with a righteous husband and
righteous offspring.
And Allah knows best.

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

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