'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
-
{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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I have a very serious problem that I would like to be advised. I am
married coming up on my 1 year anniversarry however I am not sure If
we will make it. Long story short; my husband iscompletely against
vaccinations. For himself and for his family. We all know if we go to
Hajj we will have to be vaccinated to leave the country. He says that
hes not against Hajj but WILL NOT BE VACCINATED in order to go.He says
they are poison and trash and serve no benefit at all.
When we were speaking about marriage he never once brought this up.
Onlywhen I became pregnant he started talking about it.First he was
very unbiased, watching documentaries with me and being very open.
However, the more pregnant I became the more aggressive he became with
his views. When asked how come you never told me your view about this
he claims that "he forgot" due to theexcitement of meeting. And that
ultimately he felt"I thought that I could get you to listen to me."
I had a terrible pregnancy due to this and was under terrible stress
all the time. So bad that my last trimester I was put on high blood
pressure meds.He told me that if I planned to vaccinate our baby then
we would have some problems. And furthermore that WE WILL NOT have
anymore kids together unless I agree not to vaccinate! That is the
ultimate ultimatum. Amongst all of this, our love life starts to
dwindle. Before we met in person I had lost about 75lbs and was still
losing weight so Icould be as healthy as possible.
He was attracted enough to talk to me and obviously marry me. However
as soon as I hit about 2-3 months of pregnancy (gained about 5-6 lbs
in that time) he didn't want to touch me. And no it wasn't because he
thought he would hurt the baby or looked at me as fragile. Ultimately,
he admitted that he wasn't attracted to my changing body due to the
pregnancy. Of course that crushed me, as it would any woman, or any
first time mother. I chalked it up as him being immature, selfish, new
husband etc. This was at 3 months pregnant imagine having to go
through that for another 6?
Now Alhumdulilah I have a beautiful son who is 3 months old. I have
began my excercise routine and am only about 15lbs from my previous
pre baby weight. Unfortunately, ourintimacy has not changed. He still
says that I am not attractive enough to motivate him to do his duties.
When I look at his internet history they are full of porn sites. I
told him that he can't have a marriage and an affair with porn. Which
one is it going to be I asked, the internet or me? "Get fit" he says.
Of course we are supposed to be attracted to our spouse but how canyou
make your wife feel this way after giving you such a blessing?
I don't know what to do. Ultimately, if we did counseling and
everythingis forgiven, the bottom line is that I have to be with
someone who has told me I will never be a mother again unless I don't
vaccinate. If we continue to be married.
Please help!
Your's sabeena furvin/
