Let go of anger and replace it with forgiveness

A man said to the Messenger of Allah, (sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam–
peace be upon him): "Advise me! "The Prophet said, "Do not become
angry and furious." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the
Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious."
[Al-Bukhari; Vol. 8 No. 137]
Resolve to give up anger, even ifonly for today. Whatever anger you
are harboring against others, let it go. Whatever angeryou have
against yourself for mistakes you have made, or for wrongs you have
done, let it go.It's not helping you, it is only damaging your own
spirit.
Remember that we are human; we are all imperfect. From the very
beginning, starting with Adam and Hawaa (Adam and Eve) we humans made
mistakes.
Other people have made mistakes and harmed you in thepast because they
are human; forgive them. You have made mistakes because you are human;
forgive yourself, and turn to Allah in
tawbah (repentance).
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)has taught us some strategies for dealing
with anger. For example, he said:
"I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he
does say it. If he says: 'I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan' then
all his anger will go away."
[Al-Bukhari; Vol. 4, No. 502]
And he said,
"Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire
is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he
should perform ablution."
[Abu Daud; Book 41, No. 4766]
Abu Dharr narrated: The Apostleof Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam,
said to us: "When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should
sit down. If the anger leaves him,well and good; otherwise he should
lie down."
[Abu Daud; Book 41, No. 4764]
In another hadith, the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:
"If one of you becomes angry then he should be silent."
Narrated 'Abdur Rahman bin Abi Bakra: Abu Bakr wrote to his son who
was in Sijistan: Do not judge between two personswhen you are angry,
for I heardthe Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, saying:
"A judge should not judge between two persons while he is in an angry
mood." [Al-Bukhari; Vol. 9, No. 272]
So the Messenger of Allah sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, has given us
several strategies to deal with anger:
Seek refuge with Allah from Shaytan. This reminds us that fury and
rage are not good things; they are evil forces that we need to get rid
of before they take us over. Seeking refuge with Allah reminds us that
Allah is near, watching us; also it reminds us to turn the matter over
to Allah, so that we can let go of our anger.
Perform wudu' (ritual washing for purity). SubhanAllah, what a
beautiful thing. The wudu' is a source of blessings and barakah for
us. It also has a powerful symbolic value, washing away our anger and
making us peaceful and pure.
Sit down, or even lie down. Modern science has learned thatthe body
influences the emotions as well as the other way around. So assuming a
peaceful posture leads to peaceful emotions. Sitting downor lying down
are non-threatening positions. This helps to defuse any conflict
before it escalates.
Stay silent. This is very important. All too often spousesor family
members say things toeach other in anger, and later they deeply regret
their words. By then it's too late: the words have been uttered and
the damage is done. When you are most angry is precisely the time to
remain silent. Seek refuge with Allah, make wudu, pray, gofor a walk,
go to the masjid… allow yourself time to calm down and reflect.
Do not judge between people (in other words make importantdecisions).
Obviously making important decisions out of anger is a formula for
disaster.
These are all wonderful points for dealing with anger in the moment.
However, in todays " Islamic Sunray" I am also speaking about past
anger. We all have old emotional wounds that we carry around like
scars. We have old resentments and hurts.
If you hold on to these hurts, they will destroy your marriage, or at
least make it an unhappy, chafing relationship. Holding onto
resentments and grudges will destroy your friendships, leaving you
isolated. These persistent negative emotions will eat into your own
soul, leaving you bitter and unhappy.
Let them go. Modern medicine tells us that carrying around these old
resentments and anger is bad for the health.
Steven Stosny, PhD, and author of "The Powerful Self: A Workbook of
Theraputic Self Empowerment", says,
"Consistent, prolonged levels of anger give a person a five
timesgreater chance of dying before age 50. Anger elevates blood
pressure, increases threat of stroke, heart disease, cancer,
depression, anxiety disorders, and, in general, depresses the immune
system (angry people have lots of little aches and pains or get a lot
of colds and bouts of flu or headaches or upset stomachs).

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