Fathwa, - Operation to prevent pregnancy

Question
My friend has eight children and she is pregnant. She is suffering
from Dawali in her legs and she found it hard to serve more kids. She
was asking me if she can have an operation to stop becoming pregnant
and because I cannot have children yet. So I told her that kids are
wonderful and Allah )SWT( will reward her for having educated Muslim
kids. Later I felt guilty because she may take my word for it and I
will be responsible about any harm that happens to her. So would you
tell me by evidence from Qur'an or Sunnah can she have this operation?
You should know that she tried every thing not to get pregnant and she
could not. The doctors said this is the only way.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and
peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and
Companions.
You are not a sinner rather you are a well-doer, al-Hamdu Lillah. In
fact, you will get good reward on your advice and guidance, Insha
Allah.
As for family planning we have issued Fatwa concerning this matter..
Allah knows best.

Personal, - Are We True Muslims? - I

Brothers in Islam! Who are true Muslims? Let Us see what Allaah
Almighty and His Messenger, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, have to say
about their lives and hearts:
Allaah Almighty Says )what means(:}Say: My prayers and my sacrifices,
and my living and my dying are for Allaah Alone, the Lord of all the
worlds. No partner has He. Thus I have been commanded, and I am
foremost among those who surrender ]themselves unto Him[{]Quran 6:
163-4[.
The same theme is elucidated by the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa
sallam: "One who loves for the sake of Allaah Alone and hates for the
sake of Allaah Alone; and whatever he gives, gives for the sake of
Allaah Alone, and whatever he withholds, withholds for the sake of
Allaah Alone -indeed, he perfects his Imaan )faith(." ]Abu Daawood[
The Quran makes clear what Allaah Almighty demands of you. You should
devote yourselves wholly to the service of Allaah Almighty, you should
live for Him Alone, you should die for Him Alone. You, and the world
around you, entirely belong to Allaah Almighty; let nobody have a
share in what belongs to Allaah The Most High. That is to say, you
should not serve anyone but Him, nor live or die for anyone but Him,
Almighty.
The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, explains what the Quran has
said. To be a true believer, your love and enmity for everything, all
your affections, all relations and transactions in your lives, should
have only one purpose: to seek Allaah's Pleasure. Without this your
faith itself will not be complete; the possibility of rising higher in
the sight of Allaah Almighty does not arise. The greater the
deficiency in this respect, the more defective the faith.
Some people think that these qualities are required only to reach
higher spiritual stations and are not essential to Imaan )faith( and
Islam. In other words, even without these qualities a person can be a
good believer and a Muslim. This mistaken notion has arisen because
people in general do not differentiate between legal Islam and true
Islam which alone is truly authentic in the sight of Allaah Almighty.
Two Types of Islam
Legal Islam
Under legal Islam, on which jurists and states must base their
dealings, what lies in your hearts and minds is not taken into
account, nor can it be. Your verbal affirmation and those essential
signs which must flow out of that affirmation are accepted as
sufficient evidence of your Islam. Anyone who affirms by word of mouth
belief in Allaah, the Messenger, the Quran, the Hereafter and other
articles of faith, and who also fulfils those necessary conditions
which provide proof of his affirmation, is considered part of Muslim
society and all dealings with him are to be conducted as with a
Muslim.
This definition provides the legal and cultural basis on which Muslim
society is organized. Its purpose is no more than that all those who
enter into the Muslim Ummah )nation( al recognized as Muslims: nobody
from among them can b called a disbeliever; every one of them must
have the same mutual legal, moral and social rights; they should be
entitled to marry among Muslims; they should be eligible to receive
the share in inheritance; all other civil relations should be
established with them.
True Islam
However, in the world-to-come, you cannot be judged as Muslim and a
believer on the basis of this legal affirmation, nor on this basis
will Allaah Almighty accept you as one of His chosen servants. What
will count then is having faith in hearts, and willingly and wholly
submitting lives to Allaah Almighty. Whatever verbally affirmed is
meant for courts and for the common man and the Muslim society. For
they can only see the exterior, but Allaah Almighty sees deep into
your hearts and knows precisely the degree of your faith.
How will He judge a man? Allaah Almighty will see whether he lived and
died for Him Alone, whether his loyalties to Him superseded all other
loyalties, whether his obedience and his service, indeed his entire
life, were devoted only to Him Almighty. If they were solely for
Allaah Almighty then he will be adjudged a believer and a Muslim, but
if they were for someone else, then he will not be adjudged a Muslim
nor a believer. Whoever falls short of this criterion will, to the
extent he falls short, be lacking in faith and Islam, irrespective of
how important a Muslim the world may judge him and of any high
positions he may hold. With Allaah only one thing matters: whether or
not you have given away in His way all that He Almighty has given you.
If you have, you will be granted the reward which is reserved for
those who are loyal and render the service that is due. Bu if your
submission has been less than total, if you spare any part of your
life from His service, your claim to be Muslims which implies that you
have wholly given up yourselves to Allaah Almighty, will be a
deceptive claim. Although you may be able to mislead the world and
persuade the Muslim society to grant you its membership and all the
rights of Muslims, Allaah The All-Knowing cannot be deceived into
assigning a place for you among His faithful.
Reflect on the differences between legal Islam and true Islam and you
can see that their consequences will vary greatly, not only in the
Hereafter but also in this world; the life pursuits, character and
disposition of a true Muslim will be totally different from one who
merely parades the outward trappings of faith. You will always
encounter these two types of Muslims.

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Personal, - Are We True Muslims? - II

Two Kinds of Muslims
Partial Muslims
Some Muslims profess faith in Allaah Almighty and the Messenger
sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam and declare Islam as their religion; but
then they confine this Islam to only a part of their lives. To the
extent of this part, they express great attachment to Islam,
extensively perform worship rituals like Prayers, use of the rosary,
remembrance of Allaah Almighty. They are very particular in conforming
to outward piety in matters like food, dress and other external
social, cultural customs. Thus they are fully 'religious'.
But beyond these conventions their lives are not according to what
Allaah Almighty commands. If they love, they love for the sake of
their own selves, their country, their nation, or for anything else,
but not for Allaah Almighty. If they become displeased, are angry,
hate someone, make enemies, or wage war, it too is for the sake of
some worldly or selfish interest. Their relations with their
businesses, their wives and children, families, societies -- will all
be to a great extent unaffected by Islam and based on secular
considerations. As landlords, traders, rulers, soldiers, professional
people -- in all spheres they will behave as if they are autonomous,
having no connection with their position as Muslims. When such people
establish cultural, educational and political norms and institutions,
these have nothing to do with Islam, even though they may seem
Islamic.
True Muslims
The second kind of Muslims are those who completely merge their
personalities and existences into Islam. All the roles they have
become subordinate to the one role of being Muslims. They live as
Muslims when they live as fathers, sons, husbands or wives,
businessmen, landlords, laborers, employers. Their feelings, their
desires, their ideologies, their thoughts and opinions, their likes
and dislikes, all are shaped by Islam. Allaah's guidance holds
complete sway over their hearts and minds, their eyes and ears, their
bellies, their sexual desires, their hands and feet, their bodies and
souls. Neither their loves nor their hatreds are formed independently
of Islamic criteria. Whether they fight or make friends, it is purely
for the sake of Islam. If they give anything to anybody, it is because
Islam requires it to be given. If they withhold anything from anybody,
it is because Islam wants it to be withheld.
And this attitude of theirs is not limited to personal lives; their
public lives, their societies are also based entirely on Islam. Their
collectivity exists for Islam alone; their collective behavior is
governed by the precepts of Islam alone.
What Kind of Muslims Allaah Almighty Desires
The above two kinds of Muslims are significantly different from each
other, even if, legally, both are included in the Ummah and the word
`Muslim' is applied to both equally. Historically the first kind of
Muslims have made no achievement which may be worthy of mention or
which merits our being proud of it. Nothing these 'Muslims' have done
has left an Islamic imprint on the pages of world history. The world
has received no benefit from their existence; indeed, Islam has
suffered decay because of them. Because of the preponderance of such
`Muslims' in Muslim society, power and world leadership largely passed
into the hands of rebels against Allaah Almighty. For these `Muslims'
have been content merely with ensuring that they enjoy the freedom to
live religiously within the narrow confines of their private lives.
Allaah Almighty never desired to have such `Muslims'. Nor did He
Almighty send His Prophets or reveal His Books to make them. Indeed it
is the second kind of Muslims who are desired by Allaah Almighty. Only
they can ever accomplish anything worthwhile from the Islamic point of
view.
Supreme Loyalty to Allaah Almighty
This is not a phenomenon peculiar to Islam. In fact, no way of life
can ever prevail in the world if its followers accord their faith and
commitment a subordinate position in their lives. Or, if they live and
die for causes other than their faith. We see even today that only
those are considered real and true followers of a creed or ideology
who are loyal to it with their hearts and souls. Every creed in the
world desires such adherents and no creed can prevail in the world
except through such followers.
However, there is an important difference between Islam and other
creeds and ideologies. Although others demand from men total loyalty
and dedication, they in fact have no such right upon him, their claims
are entirely unjustified. The objects they place before men are not
the kind of objects for which a human being should sacrifice anything.
But Allaah almighty for whom Islam demands the sacrifice of life has a
right upon us. Everything must be given in His way, for whatever
exists in heaven and on earth belongs to Allaah Almighty. Man himself,
whatever he possesses, and whatever lies within him, all belong to
Allaah Almighty. It is therefore in perfect harmony with justice as
well as reason that whatever belongs to Allaah Almighty must be
reserved only for Him Alone. Whatever sacrifice man makes for others
or for his own benefit or to gratify his desire is indeed a breach of
trust unless it be with the permission of Allaah Almighty. And
whatever sacrifice is made for Allaah Almighty is in reality a payment
of what is due.
But, one lesson Muslims must learn from those who are sacrificing
everything for the sake of their false ideologies and false gods: how
strange it is that, while such unimaginable dedication, sacrifice and
fidelity is being shown for false gods, not even a thousandth part of
it is shown for the True God by those who profess faith in them.
Where Do We Stand?
Let us examine our lives by the crucial criteria of Imaan and Islam as
laid down by the Quran and the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam.
If you claim that you have accepted Islam, have you oriented your
living and your dying towards Allaah only? Are you living for His
cause alone? Are your hearts and minds, your bodies and souls, your
time and efforts, being devoted to the fulfillment of Allaah's
commands? Is that mission being accomplished through you which He
wants to be fulfilled by the Muslim Ummah? And, again, do you obey and
serve only Allaah? Have you eliminated from your lives subservience to
selfish desires and obedience to family, brotherhood, friends, society
and state?
Have you made your likes and dislikes totally subordinate to what
Allaah Desires? If you love somebody, is it really for the sake of
Allaah? If you dislike somebody, is that too for the sake of Allaah?
Is no element of selfishness involved in this? Do you give and
withhold only for the sake of Allaah? Are you spending on your own
selves and giving wealth to other people, or withholding the same,
because that is what Allaah Almighty wants? Is your motive nothing but
to gain His pleasure?
If you find such a state of faith and submission within yourself, you
should thank Allaah that He has bestowed upon you the blessing of
Imaan in its fullness. And if you feel any deficiency, you must give
up every other concern and worry and concentrate wholly on remedying
this deficiency. For on its removal depends your wellbeing in this
world as well as your success in the Hereafter. Whatever success you
may enjoy in the present life will not compensate you for the loss you
will suffer in the Hereafter due to this deficiency. But if you make
up for this deficiency, even if you gain nothing in this world, you
will benefit immensely in the life to come.
Do not use this criterion to test or judge others and determine
whether they are Believers or hypocrites and Muslims or disbelievers;
use it only to judge your own selves and, if you detect any
deficiency, try to remove it before you meet Allaah Almighty. How a
mufti )religious jurist( or a court judges you should be of least
concern to you; it is only the judgment of the Supreme Ruler and
Knower of the seen and unseen which matters. Do not become happy
merely on seeing your names registered as Muslims, but remain anxious
about how and where your names are entered in the Register of Allaah
Almighty.
Real success consists in your being judged as believers and not
hypocrites, obedient and not disobedient, faithful and not unfaithful,
by that God who is the final Judge.

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Youth, - Sex and the single Muslimah

Okay folks, here it is. Let's talk about what no one else wants to
discuss. Single women and sex...yes, it's the "S" word. And, I am sure
we'll get a little more graphic as we move right along in this
article. I am about to be outright straightforward on this subject, so
those with a weak stomach may want to drink a glass of milk, have a
seat to get through this with me.
First off, I'd like to state upfront and get it right there on the
table: we all need love--each and every one of us. We all need to feel
loved and have that special closeness. It is a natural part of being a
human being, it is how we were created and there is nothing wrong with
it-- nothing to be ashamed of if you have these feelings. What is
unnatural is to be someone celibate for life )for no good
reason(....that is just wrong.
But perhaps temporarily going through celibacy is not a bad thing,
that is, when you are single woman . . . there is no other option. I
will get into the why's of that later--because there are a lot more
than some might think. So, when you are a Muslimah and single, how do
you handle it? It can be SO lonely, so tiresome. What do you do? What
can one do? How to cope?
It's not easy...and there is not a simple solution, save one, and that
is marriage.
Love is sexy, but is sex love?
The whole idea of falling in love with someone is so sexy really... it
is so unbelievably appealing. God help us all, we are so bombarded
with the notion at every turn. It's on TV even in children's animated
films. I mean, if those ridiculous cars can fall in love, why can't I
find the love of my life? At least, I am a human being, I can really
talk!!
Love is idealized, especially in the West. It is sold and promoted in
every way imaginable...and I don't have to lecture you on that. You
know it's true. But, what is so sad is that advertising )among other
things( has confused sex with love--and they are in no way the same
thing. Anyone can have sex, but not everyone can have love. In Islam,
there have been so many rewards attached with marriage itself, and
fulfilling a person's sexual needs through the sanctity and bond of
marriage that literally sex in the bounds of a marriage is rewarding
two-fold, both physically and spiritually.
Real love doesn't happen, at least far the most part, at first sight.
First sightings are merely far the eve. What does happen at first
sight is lust, and only lust. It is the physical attraction that draws
one's interest in the beginning--not love.
Real love vs. lust
Once someone emailed me a poem at work, and this is what it said:
"All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion
built upon the sand." -quote by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
I sat there staring at my computer screen, thinking, "That is so true.
Nothing else could be so clear."
Love is built over time, through mutual care and understanding . . .
it does not happen in a few interactions. Lust, on the other hand, can
begin and end in an instant. Love is lasting, while lust is temporary.
Love is patient, while lust is impatient and impulsive. Love makes you
feel joyful and inspired, while lust only offers you shame and regret.
There is one thing to be certain, love and lust should never be confused.
I hope you don't blame or judge me for the quote I am about to use. I
am using it simply because it gives so much clarity on this issue of
love and lust. And, just as I would use a quote, if relevant, from
anyone else I use the following with the same intention:
"You know what love is?
It is all kindness, generosity.
Disharmony prevails when
You confuse lust with love, while
The distance between the two
Is endless. ]Rumi[
It is the last line that caught my eye in particular: "the distance
between the two is endless." How true.
A single Muslimah must constantly be on her guard to prevent confusing
these two emotions, and sometimes it can be difficult if one is
lonely.
A solution for solitude
Marriage is an amazing alternative to being single. Muslim women
should avoid living single for an extended time. In Islam, being
married is a major part of the deen )religion(.The Prophet Muhammad,
sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said: "Marriage is my way, )i.e.,
Sunnah( and a person who disdains to follow my way does not belong to
me."
So, living single for any extended period of time is--although not
haram--is essentially going against the Sunnah of the Prophet,
sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam.
But, you know, I am all for women's rights. I know women can do it
all. We can make our own money; we can raise the kids and take care of
the home. There is nothing we can't do ourselves.... Well, almost.
We can't be fathers. No woman can replace a dad. We can fill in if we
have to, but it is not the same thing.
Like everyone else, we need that family unit. Our children need a
Family unit-- and a family unit includes a mom and a dad. A husband and
a wife --a partnership.
For men or women, living alone and unmarried only invites sin into our
life. We maybe strong for a while, but eventually Satan starts
whispering and the longer we stay alone the louder he gets.
One quote on this subject; I hope you will appreciate as I do:
"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being.
His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind
shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds
no other inspiration." - by Pearl S. Buck
I don't know much about Pearl Buck, but she is right.
True love awaits
So, what to do about marriage? How to find a mate? How can we attain
true love through a marriage contract?
If you are a single Muslimah and want to marry, for God sake )and I
know that can be hard to do( don't start looking online. Visit your
community, talk to those closest to you. Make a list of the things
that matter most to you so you will know what to discuss. Be your own
investigator--check him out through friends of friends of friends. I
know that you realize that, but this is, after all, someone you are
considering spending the rest of your life with.
And once you decide to meet with someone, talk about things on your
list and make sure you have some things in common---now and in the
future. Common goals always make for a better relationship.
The Islamic marriage contract and ceremony itself can seem dry
compared to the lavish ceremonies we see on television. But, what
matters is intention and sincerity.
Here's another quote I love from Thomas Carlyle: "The merit of
originality is not novelty; it is sincerity."
This aspect matters more than the world when searching for your life-mate.
Does love come right away in a contractual marriage? To be quite frank
with you, the answer is no, not always. But, on average, studies show
these types of marriages are lasting. I know you have heard it a
million times over, but developing a bond of friendship with your
spouse is what will last. Attraction comes and goes over time, but a
strong friendship and love only strengthens.
My hope is that this article help those who are still single think a
little more beyond what we already know about the difference between
lust and love.
True love and sexual happiness awaits you through the sincere bond of
marriage, and that is something that is truly worth waiting for and
worth saving yourself for upholding your dignity and self-respect is
paramount to your mental well-being and that of your children should
you have any.
Always keep this in the forefront of your mind as you go about your
life as a single woman:
You are a Muslimah. And to accept anything less than the sincerity of
an Islamic marriage is simply beneath you.
And then, start seriously looking for a good Muslim man to marry my
friend because Satan never sleeps.

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