Youth, - Youth loved by Allaah - I

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Twenty-year-old Kareem sat before a Shaykh in the neighborhood mosque after listening to his touching speech about the sweetness of worship. The following dialogue took place between them:
Kareem:As-Salaamu ‘Alaykum, How are you Shaykh? May I talk to you for a short time?
Shaykh:Wa ‘alaykum as-salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh.Welcome dear brother, yes of course you can. Go ahead!
Kareem: I have heard many callers to Allaah speak about the rank of loving Allaah The Almighty and that it is among the highest ranks.
Shaykh: Yes, indeed, they have told the truth. It is a rank that people compete to reach and exert great efforts for that, and it is the food of the hearts.
Kareem: Yes, by Allaah, whoever tastes this will know that for sure. However, I want to reach a rank that is higher than that. I hope that Allaah The Almighty loves me and showers me with His Mercy.
Shaykh:Ma shaa’ Allaah.You please me so much with your aspiration and love for your Lord. The rank which you seek was mentioned by Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, in his commentary on the verse in which Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Allaah will love you and forgive you your sins.{]Quran 3:31[“Being beloved by Allaah is higher than loving Allaah. It is not loving Allaah that matters, rather, it is being loved by Allaah.”Performing voluntary acts of worship after performing the obligatory acts is one of the ways to reach this hoped-for goal and this precious aim.
Body and soul
Allaah The Almighty created man from body and soul and made for each one of them its sustenance that enables it to be sound and continue to prosper. As we talk about the soul, it is important to know that Allaah The Almighty made many acts of worship permanent and renewable resources for the provision that the soul needs to be purified and to rise above the shackles of sins and the boundaries of the earth. Each act of worship has a different effect from the other; they complete each other and cover all aspects of man’s life especially the life of the youth which is filled with energy, strength and vitality.
Among these acts of worship, there is a great act of worship beloved by the Most-Merciful. It is the foundation of the edifice of faith. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, repeatedly said about it:“Relieve us with it, O Bilaal!”It is prayer which is rest for the self from the worries of life. If we had talked before about the need of the youth to worship, prayer is a renewable source for spiritual power. Its timings are distributed throughout the day and night to provide continuous and renewed sustenance. While praying, the person throws away the hardships of life to stand submissively and humbly before Allaah The Almighty. He kneels down, prostrates himself, recites and listens to the Quran, glorifies and sanctifies Allaah, seeks His Forgiveness and supplicates Him. Prayer is like an ascension of our souls to Allaah The Almighty; far away from the attractions of the earth and the temptations of life. Which need to worship does prayer fulfill?
Prayer disciplines:
The emptiness of the souls due to their deprivation from the effect of prayer makes them go astray and makes them thirsty to worship Allaah The Almighty, who made the observance of prayer and its timings a serious matter that greatly contributes to quenching the thirst of the youth who need worship. Moreover, it imbues the life of the youth with seriousness and punctuality. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Indeed, prayer has been decreed upon the believers a decree of specified times.{]Quran 4:103[
Observing these times will result in an important feature of seriousness in the life of the youth especially in the stage of adolescence.
Voluntary prayers:
After perfecting the obligatory prayers which are considered the basis of the building, we move to talk about voluntary prayers which elevate the person in degrees of perfection. Any youth who performs obligatory prayers walks in the way of success. However, the person who performs voluntary prayers is more successful and of a higher degree than him. Here is another feature of prayer because it disciplines the person to seek perfection and master the work to reach the best state. When the person performs the obligatory prayer, he knows that it is not free from defects so he seeks to perfect it by performing voluntary prayers to make up for any shortcomings in his obligatory prayers. Consequently, keenness on performing voluntary prayers is engraved on the heart and mind of the youth; a keenness to reach the highest degrees.
The best evidence:
The best evidence for what is mentioned is that Allaah The Almighty told us about and clarified that whoever does voluntary acts of worship reaches a higher and more elevated degree and rank than the person who does not offer more than the obligatory acts of worship. The person who perfectly performs the obligatory acts of worship loves Allaah The Almighty; whereas the person who further performs voluntary acts of worship is beloved by Allaah. The Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Allaah The Almighty Says, ‘…And the most beloved thing with which My slave comes nearer to Me is performing what I made obligatory upon him; and My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing voluntary deeds )prayer or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory( until I Love him. When I Love him I Become his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his leg with which he walks; and if he asks )something( from Me, I Give him, and if he asks My Protection, I Protect him.’”]Al-Bukhaari[







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Youth, - What Ails Women who Act like Men? - I

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We all know that women are protected jewels and are distinguished from men by their softness and gentleness. Islam elevated the status of women and made them equal to men with regard to many rights and duties. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Women are peers to men.”However, unfortunately many women do not consider their feminity an asset due to their overriding desires and fancies, and take pleasure in displaying a masculine identity. It is as if they want to say, “Come on! Look at me! I am a tomboy!"
Who are boyish girls or "tomboys" and what prompts them to act in this manner?
Boyish girls or what we call “tomboys” are those girls who imitate men in the way they dress, walk, speak or the way they have their hair cut. This phenomenon has started to spread even in Islamic societies in a marked manner, which compels us to take measures to deal with it.
This phenomenon certainly has causes and can be treated. Most of those girls who violate the innate disposition that Allaah The Almighty has created them with and who abandon their femininity, undoubtedly suffer from psychological problems and feel inferior and should be treated in the correct way.
First, we shall start by stating the ruling of Sharee‘ah )Islamic legislation( on this eccentric behavior.
There are Hadeeths )narrations( that tell us about the punishment for boyish girls, such as:
• Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, “The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, cursed the man who dresses like a woman and the woman who dresses like a man.”
• ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that he heard the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, saying:“Men who imitate women and women who imitate men do not belong to us.”
• Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, cursed the effeminate men and the women who assume a masculine attitude, and he said: ‘Turn them out of your houses.’ The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, turned out such-and-such man, and ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, turned out such-and-such man.”
• ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Three )types of people( will not enter Paradise and Allaah will not look at them on the Day of Judgment: the one who is undutiful to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the Dayyooth )a man who approves of indecency among his womenfolk(.”
• Ibn Abu Mulaykah, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, was asked about the woman who wears the sandals of men, she replied, ‘The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, cursed women who assume a masculine attitude.’”
The abovementioned Hadeeths clearly indicate that it is prohibited for men to imitate women and it is also prohibited for women to imitate men. This includes the way of dressing and everything else, except the first Hadeeth, which refers to the way of dressing alone.
These Hadeeths indicate that any woman who imitates men, either in the way she dresses, walks or speaks is cursed. Being cursed means being expelled from the Mercy of Allaah The Almighty and all people will enter Paradise by virtue of the Mercy of Allaah The Almighty, not because of their deeds and acts of worship, even the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, will enter Paradise by the Mercy of Allaah TheAlmighty. Are the "tomboys" of our times in no need of the Mercy of Allaah The Almighty?
Imaam Ath-Thahabi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,
Imitating men in the way they dress, walk and the like is one of the grave major sins and the woman who does so is expelled from the mercy of Allaah The Almighty and is cursed by the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Allaah The Almighty will not look at such a woman on the Day of Judgment and she will not enter Paradise. Indeed, this is a grave sin and an awful crime that can only be forgiven by sincere repentance.
Causes and treatment of the phenomenon of boyish girls:
• Lack of faith and fear of Allaah The Almighty: This is because committing sins -- whether major or minor -- is a result of lack of faith and not feeling that Allaah The Almighty Is watching His slaves. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The fornicator is not a perfect believer when he commits fornication, and the one who drinks alcohol is not a perfect believer when he drinks, and the thief is not a perfect believer when he commits theft and the one who plunders a valuable thing that attracts the attention of people is not a perfect believer when he commits this plunder.”There is no doubt that the woman who imitates men lacks faith and is tempted by the devil to commit this grave major sin that is prohibited by virtue of more than one authentic Hadeeth.
• Bad upbringing and family negligence: Undoubtedly, people are affected by the surrounding environment and the girl that is brought up in a home whose members do not adhere to the teachings of Islam will not be given a righteous upbringing and will be liable to deviation. It will be easy for her to commit evil deeds, imitate men and so on. Imitating men is one of the forms of deviation as it violates the woman’s innate disposition. Such girls do not have strong faith or a sound upbringing that would prevent them, or a righteous guardian who would deter them and guide them to the right path. Since an early age, girls should be brought up to obey Allaah The Almighty, follow the sound creed and adhere to the manners of Sharee‘ah in order to have strong faith and virtuous morals. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The one who is responsible for any of these girls and does good to them will be screened from Hell because of them.”Abu Sa‘eed Al-Khudri, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The one who has three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters and accompanies them with kindness and fears Allaah regarding them will enter Paradise.”
A noteworthy point is that the girl who lives in a family that has many boys usually behaves in a boyish manner unless the mother pays attention to this matter. If the mother was negligent with her daughter and treated her the same way the she treats her sons without making her feel that she is a girl and without teaching her that she should behave in a different way from her brothers, the girl would behave and act in a boyish manner and would lose bashfulness and gentleness in dealing with people. This is not the fault of the girl but it is definitely the parents’ fault.









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Youth, - What Ails Women who Act like Men? - II

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• Mass media and blind imitation:
People imitate and internalize what is depicted on television through serials and movies. Such media spreads misleading and deviated ideas that tempt women and encourage them to rebel against religion and sound principles and to reject the guardianship of men, and ask for their "freedom". They also display indecent clothes that are similar to men’s wear in the name of fashion.
Many women are affected by what is presented in the mass media and they consequently rebel against religion, morals and the guardianship of men. They imitate the morals of dissolute women and their attitudes without thinking or distinguishing between good and evil. Hence, women who are dressed and behave like men have emerged in recent times. This is the result of blind imitation and weakness of their personality and as a consequence of not being proud of their religion.
• Bad company:
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“One adopts the habits and ways of his friend, so be careful with whom you make friends.”Bad companions, undoubtedly, have a great effect on growing girls as they acquire bad qualities and corrupt morals from them. For instance, the girl who accompanies boyish girls is affected by the way they dress or behave, so as not to appear strange or odd among them. Hence, parents should be careful and choose righteous girls who are engaged in beneficial activities such as going to Quran centers and mosques to be the companions of their daughters.
• A feeling of inferiority and the desire to attract attention:
If a girl suffers from lack of friends or feels inferior, she would do anything to attract the attention ofpeople. If a girl’s physical appearance has something that resembles men and as a result, if any of her family or friends mocks her for this, she will have no self-confidence and this will lead her to imitate men. In such cases, parents are advised to be gentle towards girls and shower them with love and compassion so that they would not seek the approval and appreciation of strangers, such as evil-minded people who would corrupt them and take advantage of them.
• Lack of Positive Role Models:
Being around good role models is one of the most important factors that contribute towards righteous upbringing. Sometimes the mother might act in an unfeminine manner herself and her daughters would naturally imitate her as girls usually acquire their personalities from their mothers. For instance, if the mother undermines the authority of her husband and does not respect him, most probably her daughters would not appreciate their husbands either. Similarly, if the mother is loud-mouthed in her speech and raises her voice, her daughter will acquire this attribute. This also applies to imitating men and any other characteristic.
• Lack of protective zeal on the part of her husband or guardian:
Some men do not prevent their women from violating the orders of Allaah The Almighty regarding Hijaab )Islamic covering( and they do not feel any sense of protectiveness even when the women in their guardianship behave improperly. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Three )types of people( will not enter Paradise and Allaah will not look at them on the Day of Judgment: the one who is undutiful to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the Dayyooth )a man who approves of indecency among his womenfolk(.”
Aspects of assuming a masculine attitude:
Nowadays, women have started to imitate men in more than one aspect. This imitation is no longer restricted to the way they dress, but it includes many other aspects; some of these are:
• Imitating men in the way they dress: Women have started to wear clothes that are similar to those of men, such as trousers. Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, said that the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Cursed is the man who wears the clothes of women and the woman who wears the clothes of men.”Women also imitate men by wearing footwear that are similar to what men wear. ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, was asked about the woman who wears the sandals of men, so she said:“The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, cursed the women who assume a masculine attitude.”
Unfortunately, nowadays, there are many shoes that have unusual shapes that any sensible man would disdain from wearing, nevertheless, many women buy them.
• Intermixing with men in markets and public places: Some women do not feel shy about standing in the same line with men, sitting beside them, especially in shops, or speaking with salesmen as if they were her Mahram )non-marriageable( men.
• Speaking loudly and arguing with men: Some women speak in a loud voice that could be heard by any one even though women are known for their low and gentle voices and it is known that they should avoid speaking with non-Mahram )marriageable( men.
• Imitating men in the way they walk, move and the way they have their hair cut: Some women walk like men in the way they stride and make the same movements of men that show strength and toughness. Some of them have even taken up traditionally male sports like Karate, weightlifting, track and field events and football in an attempt to imitate men.
• Toughness in dealing with others: Some women behave like men with their relatives. They are stubborn; bad tempered and do not talk respectfully or appreciatively with anyone. These qualities are dispraised when they are adopted by men, let alone women.
• Abandoning adornment that is peculiar to women such as Henna and Kuhl. This makes women similar to men in the way they look. ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said, “A woman made a sign from behind a curtain to indicate that she had a letter for the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, closed his hand, saying:‘I do not know whether this is a man's or a woman's hand.’ She said, ‘No, a woman.’ He said: ‘If you were a woman, you would have different nails )because of the Henna you apply(.’”
• Refusing the authority of men or the care of the guardian: Some women do not accept to be under the guardianship of a man, but they want absolute freedom without taking permission or consulting their guardian.
Women who assume a masculine attitude and abandon modesty become like a tree that does not have its bark and will soon die. Masculine women speak with anybody about anything, and go everywhere without being bashful. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The following statement belonging to the early prophets is from among what the people have retained, ‘If you do not feel shy, then, do whatever you like.’”







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