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Monday, March 17, 2014

For children, - Anger Management Moral Stories in Islam: Give it a little time for Anger to settle down!













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Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with some of his disciples. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake.
They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there."
The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid.
The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!"
So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."
After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake.
This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same.
After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. The disciple reached the lake to find the lake absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit for drinking. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.
Buddha looked at the water and then he looked up at the disciple and said, "See what you did to make the water clean. You waited long and the mud settled down on its own and you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless".
Moral of the anger management story in Islam:Similarly, when you are angry, give some extra time. You can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.







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Sunday, March 16, 2014

Fathwa, - A wife seeking to divorceher husband













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Question
Recently a friend asked me if a wife has a good reason to divorce her husband, can she do that by giving him back the present he gave her on the first day of their marriage, and if she needs witnesses to do that? I have already advised my friend to think deeply on what she is thinking about. I hope, Insha Allah, she will think clear with the help of Allah before she take any decision.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
A wife should be patient with her husband, and should deal with him kindly and wisely as this is an obligation upon her. The Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( said: "If a woman performs the five daily prayers, fasts the month )of Ramadan(, guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: “Enter Paradise through any of its gates you wish". ]Ahmad[
The Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( also said: "If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I should order the woman to prostrate herself before her husband". ]Al-Tirmizi[
She is not allowed to ask divorce without any legal reason. She should respect the strong covenant )marriage( that is between her and her husband. The Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( said: "Any woman who asks divorce from her husband without a legal reason, the scent of Paradise will be forbidden for her". ]Ashab al-Sunan from Thawban[
However, if a woman totally fails to get her husband's love and affection and fears that it may lead her to surpass the rulings of Shariah, in this case, she may ask for Khula’ )divorce initiated by the wife( against giving her husband back the Mahr )bridal money or property given to the bridegroom at the marriage contract( he had paid.
ImamIbn Qudamahsaid: 'If a wife dislikes her husband’s behaviour, character, religion, old age, weakness or the like and if she is afraid of not being able to fulfill his rights then she is allowed to ask Khul’a by giving him a compensation )Mahr or part of it( to free herself'. Allah Says )interpretation of meaning(: }….Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allâh, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back )the Mahr or a part of it( for her Al-Khul' )divorce(…..{]2:229[.
The wife ofThabit bin Qaiscame to the Prophet and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being a Muslim, dislike to behave in un-Islamic manner )if I remain with him(." On that Allah's Apostle said )to her(, "Will you give back the garden which your husband has given you )as Mahr(?" She said, "Yes." Then the Prophet said to Thabit, "O Thabit! Accept your garden, and divorce her once."
Allah knows best.








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Fathwa, - Asking divorce













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Question
Recently a friend asked me if a wife has a good reason to divorce her husband, can she do that by giving him back the present he gave her on the first day of their marriage, and if she needs witnesses to do that? I have already advised my friend to think deeply on what she is thinking about. I hope, Insha-Allah, she will think clear with the help of Allah before she takes any decision.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
The woman does not divorce as divorce is in the hands of the husband. But the fact that the woman gives back the Mahr to her husband in return for his divorcing her is calledKhulu’and it is also in the hands of the husband.
On the other hand, it is unlawful for the woman to ask for divorce unless there is a legal reason for that. The Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam( said: “Any woman who asks her husband to divorce her, although he did not cause her any harm, the smell of Paradise is forbidden for her”. ]Abu Dawud and Al Tirmizi[
It is likeable in Shariah to ask a person or more to bear witness for divorce orKhulu’but it is not an obligation. Allah Says )interpretation of meaning(: }…And take for witness two just persons from among you )Muslims(……{]65:2[.
Finally, we advise this woman, and indeed all other women, not to ask for divorce orKhulu’unless she is incurring an evident harm that she cannot overcome. And before doing so, she should seek the advice of others and makeIstikhara.
We ask Allah to ease the matters of all Muslims and guide them all to the right path.
Allah knows best.







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