Family, - Islam and polygamy -II

Share ::-

:->










Polygamy, in the sense of having more than one wife at the same time, has been one of the chief issues due to which severe criticism has been directed against Islam. Non-Muslims decry Islam for permitting polygamy and allowing a man to have up to four wives at the same time, thus debasing women and slighting their status in society.
It should be made clear that polygamy is allowed in Islam only as an exception. It is succinctly so stated in the Glorious Quran )which means(:"And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice )between them(, then )marry( one only."]Quran 4:3[
This is the only verse in the Glorious Quran that speaks of polygamy and it is evident that it does not enjoin polygamy; it only permits it bound by certain conditions. First, polygamy is allowed permissible in general, but it becomes more recommended only when there are orphans to be cared for by an uncle or a relative, that relative may marry the mother of these orphans if he feels that he cannot do them justice unless he is bound by marriage to their mother.
Such a marriage would enable him to care for the orphans and have free access to them without fearing social slander. This is an acceptable social condition that caters for the welfare of the orphans and the dignity of women.
Another condition is imposed in the same verse, which limits this marriage to the man who feels that he can do justice to his wives. He should provide them with similar dwelling places, similar food and clothing and give them the same physical attention. If he feels unable to do so, he should be satisfied with one wife.
The value of this permission for polygamy becomes evident in times of war when men die on the battlefields and women are left behind to feed and care for their children. Many of these women may not possess the qualifications for the humblest job. The last resort for such women would be prostitution with all its negative physical, social, moral and psychological consequences.
When Islam permits polygamy, it preserves a woman's dignity and humanity and cares for the social moral and economic well-being of orphans. The same principle applies when the number of women exceeds that of men in society. This would lead to moral depravity, which threatens the very essence of civilization.
It may be argued that the modern State can make other arrangements for the maintenance of widows and orphans. That may be true, but the State cannot provide them with a family life; in Islam, the family is considered the real source from where all the good qualities of love and affection spring, which are the greatest asset of society and civilization. Even if it be “half a home” that the woman and children find in a polygamous family, it is better than having no home at all.
Monogamy is without doubt the right form of life under normal conditions, but when abnormal conditions are brought about by the presence of more females than males monogamy fails, and it is only through a limited form of polygamy that this difficulty is faced.
It may be further argued that polygamy, which has been instituted by Islam as an exception and a remedy, has been largely abused by sensual people. That is true, but there are people in every society who abuse any institution, however necessary that may be to the healthy growth of human society. In countries where polygamy is not allowed, the sensuality of man has invented a hundred other ways of giving vent to his carnal desires and these comprise a far greater threat to the security and welfare of society than the abuse of polygamy.
Rather than debasing women or belittling their status in society as some feminists claim, Islam recognizes the position of women to be equitable to that of man when it comes to worship and accountability. Allaah Almighty Says )what means(:"And whoever does good deeds, whether male or female, and he )or she( is a believer-these shall enter the Garden."]Quran 4:124[
In some cases, polygamy is a practical solution and a better alternative. When a man's wife suffers from a chronic disease and fails to respond to her husband's physical needs, Islam offers two alternatives: divorce or polygamy. Many wives would commend the second alternative, as it saves them the humiliation of being without any means of income, particularly if they have no jobs to support themselves.
The same thing applies when it is proven that the wife is sterile and the husband longs to be a father. According to Islam, he can divorce his wife or take another wife who can bear him children. The second alternative may prove most convenient to the sterile wife.
The question may be raised, what if the husband is sterile or suffers from a chronic incurable disease, would the wife entertain the same right and have a second husband? The answer is no, for practical reasons. Most of the societies all over the world are patriarchal where the father assumes the leading role. If the mother assumes the lead, this would be a backward step to the savage matriarchal age.
This system is still dominant in a few backward tribes in Africa, Latin America and Asia. Besides the confusion that would prevail in the household as a result of having more than one husband, there would emerge the problem of relating the children to the father, who can decide who is the real father of the child if there are more than one husband? Problems of inheritance and moral values would emerge in due time.
Islam forbids a woman from having more than one husband at the same time. However, if the husband is sterile or suffers from a chronic disease that prevents them from consummating a conjugal life, the wife may ask for divorce and marry another man.
In societies where women outnumber men, there would be two alternatives: polygamy or prostitution. It is natural for every human being to seek a mate for various psychological, social, economic and sexual reasons. If that mate were not available due to certain reasons such as females outnumbering males, monogamy would not solve the difficulty. The supernumerary women would seek physical satisfaction in adultery and economic support in prostitution.
If society permits polygamy, such a woman would enjoy a dignified life where her physical and economic needs are satisfied without losing self-respect or social acceptance. Her children would enjoy the protection and the care of a father. It may be argued that in such case she would have “half a husband”, but that is better than having no husband, no protection and no roof over her head.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Family, - Islam and polygamy -I

Share ::-

:->










Polygamy is defined in many dictionaries as: “Any person )male or female( may unconditionally marry unlimited number spouses at the same time."
This means that a male or female may marry an unlimited number of spouses at the same time. In other cultures and faiths, a male may marry an unlimited number of wives at the same time, for any reason, unrestricted by any conditions. Such practices are totally prohibited in Islam.
In Islam, a Muslim man is granted the right to marry more than one wife, accompanied by several clear conditions. These conditions are: financial, physical and emotional ability, equal treatment of the wives, that the women are not among those who are prohibited for him to marry permanently )such as aunts, foster daughters and others specified in the Quran( or temporarily )such as marrying two sisters at the same time(; and that the number of wives is limited to four.
Hence, this is a legal provision that can be properly understood in the context of Islam's position on these issues:
First, in Islam, the family is considered the cornerstone of society; any extra-marital relationship is devastating and damaging to the family and hence it is strictly prohibited. Married life is most desirable in Islam, Islam envisions the role of a woman as a respected, honorable wife, not a secret mistress; while allocating to men the role of respected, responsible husbands, never indulging in secret affairs..
Second, Islam and Islamic laws are for all times and for all circumstances and situations, therefore, they must accommodate all possible social and individual situations.
Third, in Islam, every Muslim man should have a wife and every Muslim woman should have a husband.
Although it may have been abused in certain times and places, polygamy can have a valuable function in certain circumstances; in some situations it may be considered as the lesser of two difficult situations, and in others it may be even a beneficial arrangement.
The obvious example of this occurs in times of war, when there are inevitably large numbers of widows and orphans left without companionship, love, income, care or protection.
If it is still maintained under these circumstances that a man may marry only one wife, other women will be deprived of having a family that includes a loving husband, a companion for life, children and a father for the children. What option is left for those women who have no chance to get married ? They could either stay alone or enter into an illicit relationship.
Most women would not welcome either of those two options. A mistress is just an unofficial second wife who has no legal rights or security for herself or her children. The fact is that women under these circumstances may prefer to share a husband than have none at all; there is no doubt that it is easier to share a husband when it is an established and legal practice, than when it is carried on secretly with attempts to deceive the first wife.
There are other situations where this kind of practice may be preferable for all parties, such as if the first wife is chronically ill, if she cannot have children, if a woman cannot earn a living and needs emotional and financial support.
These examples are mentioned here because people assume that polygamy in Islam is a means to cater to the whims of the Muslim man, not as a real solution to some difficult social problems.
The first verse in the Quran that allows this practice was revealed following the battle of Uhud, in which hundreds of Muslim men were killed, leaving widows and orphans whose care was the responsibility of the Muslim male survivors.
Allaah Almighty Says in the Quran )what means(:}To orphans restore their property when they reach their age, and do not substitute your worthless things for their good ones, and devour not their substance by mixing it up with your own. For this is indeed a great sin. If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four ; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then marry only one.{]Quran 4:2-3[
From these verses, a number of facts are evident:
This permission is not only associated with mere satisfaction of passion; rather it is associated with compassion toward widows and orphans -- a matter that is confirmed by the conditions in which these verses were revealed.
Dealing justly with one's wives is an obligation in Islam. This applies to housing, food, kind treatment, etc.; that is to say that the husband has complete obligation towards all of his wives and their children without any discrimination.
If one is not sure of being able to deal justly with them, the Muslim man is advised to marry only one wife.
Polygamy is far better and more honorable than the case where a man is secretly having mistresses or involved with prostitutes )adultery(. This practice is also better than the case where the husband divorces his wife if she falls ill and marries another one.
The requirement of justice between wives rules out the fantasy that a man can have as many wives as he pleases; it also rules out the concept of a "secondary" wife, for all wives have exactly the same status and are entitled to identical rights and claims over their husband.
The verses say "marry" -- not buy, seduce or select -- since in Islam, marriage is a civil contract, which is valid only when both parties consent to it. Thus no woman can be married forcibly or given to a man who is already married, except if she and her family agree, since there is no secret marriage in Islam polygamy is practiced as a free choice of both parties.
It is evident that the permission for polygamy is consistent with the realistic Islamic worldview, that remains applicable through varying social needs, problems and cultural variations for all time and in all places.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Family, - Polygyny is the Original Rule

Share ::-

:->










Polygyny is the basic rule; however, the ruling of polygyny differs according to the circumstances and conditions of every man.
Restricting polygyny to cases where the first wife is sick or old is considered unjustly narrowing that which is wide.
The phenomenon of polygyny was widespread during the period ofJaahiliyyah)pre-Islamic era( and Islam approved of this habit as it has many benefits for both men and women. However, Islam stipulated certain restrictions that protect the rights of all parties.
In this study, Shaykh Naasir ibn ‘Abdur-Rahmaan Al-Khunayn, a staff member at Imam ‘Ali University, answers many questions regarding this important issue. We do not want to have a lengthy introduction as we want to leave the reader to see the proofs that were mentioned by Shaykh Naasir regarding the advantages and benefits of polygyny and the clarification of being just with wives.
Polygyny is the basic principle
Some people ask about the reasons that call for polygyny as if the basic principle is that it is forbidden. Actually, this is what led people to think that polygyny should not take place unless there is a certain reason and if that reason exists, then polygyny would be permissible, otherwise it will be impermissible.
This is not true, but, unfortunately, this belief is widespread in many places. The sound opinion that should be applied with regard to understandingSharee‘ah)Islamic legislation( texts that encourage marriage is that the basic principle is polygyny; in order to achieve chastity if the husband is capable ]of marriage[ and is just. However, if he fears doing injustice and feels that he would not be able to treat his wives justly, he should suffice with one wife. This is the opinion held as preponderant by Shaykh Abu ‘Abdullaah ‘Abdul-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abdullaah ibn Baaz, may Allaah have mercy upon him. He used to joke with his companions, and ask them,“Are you among those who apply polygyny or are you among those who fear?”This sentence is a pun as it may mean that he is afraid of his wife or afraid that he might not be just. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}But if you fear that you will not be just, then ]marry only[ one.{]Quran 4:3[
Restricting polygyny to cases where the wife is sick, old or so forth is considered narrowing a matter that Allaah The Almighty made wide. The condition for polygyny is that the Muslim man should feel that he is most likely able to provide for his wives and to treat them justly with regard to the time he spends with them, the residence and expenditure he provides for them, and treating them according to what is good. He should fear Allaah The Almighty as much as he can; however, the inclination of the heart regarding love, sexual intercourse or so forth is something that the husband cannot control. Nevertheless, he should not incline to a certain wife completely. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And you will never be able to be equal ]in feeling[ between wives, even if you should strive ]to do so[. So do not incline completely ]toward one[ and leave another hanging.{]Quran 4:129[
Most scholars have said that "inclination" here means inclination with regard to overnight stay and providing for wives equally, but it does not mean being just with regard to love, as this is something that the person cannot control. This is supported by what was narrated by ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, as she quoted the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, as saying:“O Allaah! This is my distribution in what I can control, so do not blame me for what You can control while I cannot.”
Abu Daawood, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said that the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, meant the heart. ThisHadeeth)narration( was narrated by At-Tirmithi, An-Nasaa’i, Ibn Maajah, Ahmad, Ibn Hibbaan and Al-Haakim and he authenticated it.
When interpreting the abovementioned verse, Al-Haafith Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said that it means that men will not be able to treat women justly in all aspects. This is because even if the husband applies the apparent distribution of nights, there could be a difference in the love and desire that he experiences. He added that the verse warns against inclining completely to one wife so that the other one would not be left hanging, neither a wife nor a divorced woman. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And if you amend ]your affairs[ and fear Allaah -- then indeed, Allaah is Ever Forgiving and Merciful.{]Quran 4:129[ This means that if you amend your behavior and treat your wives equally and fear Allaah The Almighty, He will forgive you for inclining to one wife.
Hence, it is now clear that theSunnah)tradition( of polygyny is not restricted to a certain reason, but it is conditioned by justice and fearing Allaah The Almighty. The basic principle is polygyny and no one should abstain from it except if he fears that he will not be just. The supreme scholar of this Ummah, Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said to Sa‘eed ibn Jubayr, may Allaah be pleased with him,“Get married as the best among this Ummah )nation( are those who have the most wives.”
The opinion that I choose and that is supported by the rules and the general texts ofSharee‘ahis that the ruling on polygyny differs according to the case of every man and his character and qualities. The basic opinion regarding polygyny is permissibility provided that justice is achieved. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of ]other[ women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then ]marry only[ one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline ]to injustice[.{]Quran 4:3[

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M