Marital Life, - A Recipe for Marital Bliss

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:-> Marital bliss is the precious pursuit of every family and an easily attainable goal for every one who is keen on it and pursues it. A happy family is the source of giving, security, peace of mind, and the way to success. Here we will present a useful recipe for marital bliss: First, it is the custom that a man feels jealous over his wife. Sometimes, we hear about a woman who feels extremely jealous over her husband from his mother, sisters and many other matters in which it is inappropriate to feel jealous over. Sister, there is a wise saying that states “If you want to be obeyed, then ask for what is affordable.” Second, usually make your husband feel secure and confident and let him know that you wish that you live with him and your children forever. Also, try to keep away from grudges and do not belittle what he does or buys, or belittle him, his job or education. If you do so, you will destroy all the factors of love and respect between you. Third, why do we master talking kindly with people outside our families but fail to do so with our husbands and children? We hope that a change in any aggressive way of speaking with the husband and children occurs, and that we speak calmly and logically in matters which are of benefit instead, and not repeat our words uselessly. One should avoid supplicating to Allaah against the husband and threatening him. These two ways result in nothing but further grudges and problems. Rather, one should substitute arguments with understanding and bad supplication with advice and guidance. If we try this approach we will certainly attain success, Allaah willing. Fourth, no matter how long you have been married, do not neglect your appearance or the cleanliness of your home, and especially the bedroom. In this room the person is born, brought up, married and has children. So, you should not let it look old and worn out or be the worst place in your home that has a bad odor on the bed, curtains, carpets, and so on, due to lack of ventilation. So, you should ventilate your home especially the bedrooms and be keen on maintaining the cleanliness of your home. Do not regret the time and effort spent in looking after your husband and children. You should also not get angry with their repeated faults that you might think of as ingratitude. Rather, be like the date palm-trees whenever people throw stones at them, they throw the best fruit in return. Fifth, you should conceal all your secrets. Believe me dear sister, your disclosing your marital secrets to your friends will not benefit you. On the contrary, it belittles you before them and they will not respect you. You should beware of arguing with your husband in front of the children. Avoid anger! We can get accustomed to tolerate things. I ask you also not to embarrass him or complain about him to his family. Sixth, I beseech you to erase the phrase “Divorce me!” from your dictionary. Divorce would not give you comfort especially after having children. The husband is usually prudent and does not respond to the quarreling of the wife. However, the outcome of this dispute is sowing the seeds of worry and permanent fear in the children. Dear sister, divorce is the cause of the misery of the children, the delinquency of daughters, the misery of the wife and the deterioration of the marital life. Seventh, do not ever lie to your husband and do not disobey him in any matter unless it is an act of disobedience to Allaah The Almighty. If you fear his severity, do not tell him about what happened while he is angry. Rather, when he is calm say to him “I have a confession to make but promise me not to be harsh on me in order that I may not hide anything from you in the future.” In this case, he would definitely be wise and the situation would be in your favor, Allaah willing. Hence, your children would be truthful and honest and would not fear to say the truth. You should remember that admitting the truth is a virtue. Eighth, be keen on holding a family meeting bi-weekly that the children’s father would speak in the first one and you would speak in the second. You should instruct your children in the form of a kind demand. You should urge your children to be successful in the form of aspirations such as, “We hope to see you in such and such a state.” You should avoid the bad way of reproaching, threatening, and holding them in comparison with other children. These approaches make the children feel deficient. Accordingly, these approaches will result in negative results. You should always let your husband and children hear the wordAlhamdulillaah)praise be to Allaah(, praise be to Allaah that He made us one family and granted us His great favors. You should enumerate the favors of Allaah so that they would realize them and feel content and happy. You should remind them of Allaah The Almighty and the greatness of these favors that He bestowed upon you.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Marital Life, - The Nearest Way to a Man’s Heart

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:-> Women are fed up with talk about the husband’s rights and would probably cry, “Are there no rights for the wives? Why do you always talk about the rights of the husband? Where are the rights of the wife?” In light of the noble verse )what means(:}The believing men and believing women are allies of one another{]Quran 9:71[, allow me, dear sisters, to advise you. I hope that women will not consider my words as a speech about the husband’s rights. Rather, they should consider it as advice from a Muslim brother to his sister. A brother who knows that his married sister frequently hears about the rights of her husband, her negligence and her duties, and who knows that she has great rights over her husband which, if she does not take in this worldly life, will take in the Hereafter where she will be in dire need of them. He also knows that she is helpless, targeted and oppressed and that she suffers from the enemies’ evil schemes to destroy her and from her husband who does not understand anything about marriage except his rights and her duties, or he does not want to understand anything other than this own side. This husband does not see her favor, let alone her rights. The wife might feel great love for her husband and be strongly attached to him, yet he divorces her while he knows how she feels. She might absolutely hate him and tell him that but he forces her to stay with him while he knows how she feels. The wife might be satisfied with what little the husband might give, but he does not give her anything at all. There are many kinds of husbands who cause men to praise Allaah The Almighty day and night that they were not the wives of any of them. May Allaah help such wives and render them patient, for their patience cannot be achieved except by the Help of Allaah. Our talk here is about a very specific point that has a great effect on the continuation of the marriage relationship as well as the family and the success of the wife. We shall talk about the case when the wife wants her husband, or at least is satisfied with him in times of agreement. Otherwise, for every session there is a different discussion. At the outset, we say that when the woman accepted the man who proposed to her to be her husband, she did not want him to be a temporary husband. She was not ready to lose him for any reason. She did not want to live with him only to test his endurance and patience, and then surprise him with something that he may or may not be able to endure. She did not want to compete with him in achieving dignity and proving who is the most honorable. She did not want him to fulfill her dreams as conveyed by the corrupters on earth who call him a “playboy.” She did not want to imprison him as they describe marriage to be a “golden cage.” She did not want the honeymoon to last for only one month and then suffer from bitterness after the honeymoon as the enemies claim. She did not want, by any means, anything that could lead them to separate. Rather, when she accepted him, she wanted him to preserve her as much as he can, and she was absolutely ready to preserve him as much as she can, regardless of what he does, except what cannot be endured, and she will be rewarded by Allaah The Almighty. Doing this is equal to all the acts of worship that men have been favored with, like pilgrimage,Jihaad, congregational prayer, attending funerals and so on. On the basis of this will and approach, we talk to our married sister out of our sympathy with her if she is divorced and out of happiness for her if she returns to her husband. Sisters, let us come to a word that is equitable between us. As for those whose will was not like what we mentioned above when she accepted marriage, our speech is not directed to her, and}For each ]religious following[ is a direction toward which it faces.{]Quran 2:148[. As for the wife whose will is to preserve her husband and her home as much as she can, let her listen, obey and then enjoy the glad tidings of the worldly life and the Hereafter through listening to what the most knowledgeable and kindest man, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who knew best her interest, said. A man does not want his wife to be his friend and partner as the corrupters propagate. Rather, he wants her to be an obedient wife. The most successful woman to win the man’s heart and to live a long life with him is not the most beautiful one, as the non-married, lustful and inexperienced people think. She is not the richest one as the poor and greedy people think. Rather, she is the one who knows that wives with their husbands are exactly like the boon companions of the king. If the husband is not a king or like a king in his home and with his wife, what do you want him to be? Do you want him to be a servant, brother or a partner as they claim? If he is not a king or like a king in his home and with his wife, should he seek to be so with his bosses or friends? If the wife is not like the boon companion of the king with her husband, what should she be? Should she be with him like the queen, giving him from herself great things or should she be like the boon companion of the king with her sisters and friends? The husband is the most entitled to her giving, the most beneficial to her, the closest one to her and the most entitled to have what he wants from her if she knows. Hence, the Prophet,sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“If I were to order someone to prostrate to another, I would order the wife to prostrate to her husband for his great right over her.”The wife gives her husband her self, body and honor, with satisfaction and pleasure, and does not give any of these to anyone else. Therefore, how could she consider what is far less than this to be so much for him? Many beautiful wives lost their homes and husbands, while they love each other because they failed to be like the king’s boon companions, and did not make them feel so in a nice and obvious way without any indication of boredom. On the other hand, many young women who were not so beautiful or who were even quite unattractive managed to implant in her husband’s heart their love until they became their dearest beloved, and their husbands could not dispense with them. This is what some people call “the beauty of the spirit” and the details of this are very long; however, the general and main idea lies in the aforementioned description: “boon companions of the king.” This is most needed when there are signs of disagreement between the spouses. Hence, the clever and truthful wife should avoid arousing her husband’s anger and disagreeing with him. She should know that many men become angry and appeased, and that her husband is not that smart, wise, forbearing man; thus, she should calmly win him over, regardless of what she gives, and she will be greatly rewarded, Allaah willing. Then, she would make him feel ashamed of himself as Asmaa’ bint Khaarijah, may Allaah have mercy upon her, said to her daughter,“Be a maid to him ]meaning, her husband[ and, he will be a slave to you.”She should not disturb him with her frequent mistakes because he is more important to her than anything that they disagree about, and disagreement plants hatred in the hearts. By the permission of Allaah The Almighty, this is the nearest way to the heart of a man, not his stomach as they claim. However, women are overcome by their natures except those whom Allaah grants His Mercy. We supplicate Allaah to guide our sisters to preserve their husbands and homes, and grant them a good intention behind this, so that their actions would raise their degrees in Paradise. I hope that those who are bored with their husbands and about talking about their rights and the wives’ duties are not annoyed. Our purpose is to preserve the homes and families, and to lead them to the land of safety. Let the wives take the initiative, and they will reap the fruit in the worldly life and the Hereafter, Allaah willing.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M

Welcome to Islam, - Scientific finds versus speculations of evolutionists

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:-> The teeth and claws of Archaeopteryx are no indication that they are descendants of dinosaurs. The two important points evolutionists rely on when alleging Archaeopteryx to be a transitional form, are the claws on the bird’s wings and its teeth. It is true that Archaeopteryx had claws on its wings and teeth in its mouth, but these traits do not imply that this living creature bears any kind of relationship with reptiles. Besides, two bird species living today, Taouraco and Hoatzin both have claws to hold on to branches. These creatures are fully birds with no reptilian characteristics. That is why it is completely groundless to assert that Archaeopteryx is a transitional form just because of the claws on its wings. Neither do the teeth in Archaeopteryx’s beak imply that it is a transitional form. Evolutionists make a purposeful trickery by saying that these teeth are characteristic of reptiles. However, teeth are not a typical characteristic of reptiles only. Today, some reptiles have teeth while others do not. Moreover, Archaeopteryx is not the only bird species that has teeth. It is true that birds with teeth do not exist today, but when we look at fossil records, we see that both in the same age as Archaeopteryx and afterwards, and even until fairly recently, a distinct bird genus existed that could be categorized as “birds with teeth”. The most important point is that the teeth structure of Archaeopteryx and other birds with teeth are totally different from that of their alleged ancestors, the dinosaurs. The famous ornithologists Martin, Steward and Whetstone observed that Archaeopteryx and other birds with teeth have teeth with flat top surfaces and large roots. Yet, the teeth of theropod dinosaurs, the alleged ancestors of these birds, are protuberant like a saw and have narrow roots. The researchers also compared the wrist bones of Archaeopteryx and their alleged ancestors, the dinosaurs and observed no similarity between them. The studies of anatomists like Tarsitano, Hecht and A.D. Walker revealed that some “similarities” asserted to have existed between this creature and dinosaurs as put forward by John Ostrom, a prominent authority who claims that Archaeopteryx evolved from dinosaurs, were in reality misinterpretations. All these findings indicate that Archaeopteryx was not a transitional link but only a bird that fell into a category that can be called “birds with teeth.” Archaeopteryx and other ancient bird fossils While evolutionists have for decades been proclaiming Archaeopteryx to be the greatest evidence for their scenario concerning the evolution of birds, some recently-found fossils invalidate this claim in other respects. Lianhai Hou and Zhonghe Zhou, two paleontologists at the Chinese Institute of Vertebrate Paleontology, discovered a new bird fossil in 1995 that they named Confuciusornis. This bird was almost the same age as Archaeopteryx )around 140 million years old(, but it did not have any teeth in its mouth. In addition, its beak and feathers shared the same features as today’s birds. Having the same skeletal structure of modern birds, this bird also had claws on its wings just like Archaeopteryx. The special structure called the “pygostyle” was present in this bird species that supported the tail feathers. In short, this bird which was the same age as Archaeopteryx )considered to be the oldest ancestor of all birds and accepted as a semi-reptile( looked very much like a modern bird. This fact invalidated all the evolutionist theses holding Archaeopteryx to be the primitive ancestor of all birds. Another fossil unearthed in China in November 1996, caused even greater confusion. The existence of this 130 million year old bird named Liaoningornis was announced in Science by Hou, Martin and Alan Feduccia. Liaoningornis had a chest bone on which the muscles for flight were attached, just like modern birds. This bird was indistinguishable from modern birds in other respects also. The only difference was the teeth in its mouth. This showed that birds with teeth did not have a primitive structure at all, as alleged by evolutionists. This was stated in an article in Discover: “Whence came birds? This fossil says that not from dinosaurs.” Another fossil to refute the evolutionist claims regarding Archaeopteryx was Eoalulavis. The wing structure of Eoalulavis, which was said to be 30 million years younger than Archaeopteryx, was also observed in modern birds that flew slowly. This proved that 120 million years ago there were birds indistinguishable from modern birds in many respects flying in the skies. These facts once more indicate for certain that neither Archaeopteryx nor other ancient birds similar to it were transitional forms. The fossils do not indicate that different bird species evolved from each other. On the contrary, fossil records prove that today’s modern birds and some archaic birds like Archaeopteryx actually lived together at the same time. Yet some of these bird species like Archaeopteryx and Confuciusornis have become extinct and only a part of the pre-existing species have been able to make it to the present day. In brief, some peculiar features of Archaeopteryx do not indicate that this living thing is a transitional form! Stephan Jay Gould and Nailes Eldredge, two Harvard paleontologists and world famous evolutionists, accept that Archaeopteryx is a “mosaic” living thing housing various features in its form, yet that it can never be regarded as a transitional form! The imaginary bird-dinosaur link The claim of evolutionists trying to present Archaeopteryx as a transitional form is that birds have evolved from dinosaurs. However, one of the most famous ornithologists in the world, Alan Feduccia from the University of North Carolina, opposes the theory that birds have a kinship with dinosaurs, despite the fact that he is an evolutionist himself. Feduccia says on the subject: "Well, I’ve studied bird skulls for 25 years and I don’t see any similarities whatsoever. I just don’t see it… The theropod origins of birds, in my opinion, will be the greatest embarrassment of paleontology of the 20thcentury." Larry Martin, a specialist on ancient birds from the University of Kansas, opposes the theory that birds come from the same lineage as dinosaurs. While discussing the contradiction evolution falls into on the subject, Martin states: "To tell you the truth, if I had to support the dinosaur origin of birds with those characters, I’d be embarrassed every time I had to get up and talk about it." To sum up, the scenario of the “evolution of birds from dinosaurs” erected solely on the basis of Archaeopteryx, is nothing more than a product of the prejudices and wishful thinking of evolutionists.

- PUBLISHERNajimudeeN M