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Saturday, October 26, 2013

Story, - Insecure love or true love..!

Hi i am 19 yr old, i love a 20 yr old guy whom i call caro. He is
really very adorable... our parents were fly friends.. His parents
were very cool n loving.. i knew them for almost 4 yrs but just 8
months back i became friendly with caro n fell in love with him.. :)
i confessed my love for love for him but he gave no reply... he still
behaved the same way he used to, he didn't change even a bit after
knowing my feelings for him.. It was very confusing and i wasn't able
to understand what was going on in his mind and what he felt about
me..
A month later something happened n his parents stoped talking to mine,
things changed, he was asked not to talk to any1 of us, yet he used to
talk to me and i was unaware of that. Once we went for a movie and
aunty came to know about it, she called me up n said that,"like a
mother i'm telling you, stop all this n i know u will obey like a
daughter". She had also taken away caro's mbl n sent him abroad..!!
For a month v dnt tlk, later on i contactd him through fb, he
replied... v were just tlking as friends then...
When he came bck to india i askd him wat he felt abt me?? he said he
is nt ready for a relationship nw n dat we will stay as friends for
nw..! i askd him wat abt the future? wil he evr b ready to be in a
relationship with me?? he said he doesnt knw n dat i shouldnt b
thinking abt it nw..! he still dnt knew dat his mum had askd me to
stop tlking to him n his dad had called up home to tell my parents to
break all the relations with them...!
i askd him if i should wait for him to be ready or forget abt him? he
told me dat he is nt ready for a relationship nw n he cannot tell
anything else...
a few days back i told him everything abt wat had happnd wen he wasnt
here, he said he was unaware of all dis..! i told him i didnt wanna
loose him, he said pray n everything will b alright..
he still tlks to me, wenevr i tell him i love him he eithr doesnt
reply or just smiles..!
i dnt knw wat he feels abt me!! aftr knwing dat our parents dnt want
us to tlk yet he tlks to me.. he never stoped me from loving him...!
he is really very nice n understanding bt i dnt knw wat should i do..!
i dnt knw if these r his signs of gently telling me dat he doesnt love
me coz he is too good to break my heart or a sign dat he may fall in
love with me..!
m risking my life for him n i dnt evn knw if he'l stand by be when his
parents come to knw dat i still tlk to him..! i really love caro alot
n hope that he does tell me soon abt his feelings for me n nt kip me
waiting in hopes more..!

Beliefs and Practices

Islam is the only religion in the world that says that its precepts
are natural. The Holy Quran says:
"..It is Allah's Nature on which Allah has created humans. There is no
change in Allah's creation. This is the established religion (deen
al-qayyim) but many of the humans know not." (Surat al-Room, Verse
30).
In Islam, thebeliefshave primary position; they are the roots, and
thepracticesare branches that are dependent for their existence on the
roots. The primary belief is that of the Unity and Supreme Sovereignty
of Allah, the Almighty, the Everpresent, the Everlasting, the
All-knowing. Allah is Just. He sent prophets to convey His message. He
selected Imams to safeguard His message. He ordained a Day of
Judgement when the deeds of His creatures will be measured and
rewarded or punished accordingly. Belief in Allah, therefore, entails
belief in all of the above.
Islam is the last divine religion and Prophet Muhammad (s) is the last
Messenger of Allah. In Islam, Allah has encompassed all His
commandments and decrees - decrees that will suffice for humankind til
the end of the world. The commandments are there not only to guide His
creatures to proper belief, but also to show them the proper way to
live their lives. Islam says that its practices are for benefit of the
followers, benefit in this world and in the hereafter.
The ethical and moral degeneration of the western society and the
predominance of suicide, drug abuse, and crime, seem to clearly
indicate that spiritual health of an individual and a community is as
important as physical health. The factors of physical and spiritual
well-being form the basis of Islamic practices. All that is necessary
for a person's spiritual and physical well-being is obligatory, and
all that is harmful is haram (prohibited). Islam shows ways of dealing
with the world around us; the responsibilities of a person to oneself,
to parents, to siblings, to offspring, to spouses, to neighbors, to
society, to nation; what habits to cultivate and what to avoid; what
things to possess and what to give away; what time to sleep and what
time to wake up; when and how to make love and when and how to refrain
from it; when to speak up and when to remain silent; what to eat; how
to eat; how to seek knowledge, etc. In short, Islam teaches values and
priorities concerned with every walk of life.
Islam fulfills all the needs of the human nature in such a way that by
following the path of Islam, a person can attain a state of perfection
that is close to divinity. Here is a very brief look at some of the
general guidelines that Islam provides for living an ideal life.
The Prophet (May God bless Him and His Descendents) in one of
hissermonsthat have been preserved, said:
"O people! Reach the signs that have been fixed for you and get to the
destinations that have been determined for you. Verily, the believer
strives between two fears: the fear about his past, concerning which
he does not know how God would judge it; and the fear for the future,
concerning which he does not know what God has decreed therein. Let
the believer take from his (transitory) self that which shall benefit
his (abiding) self and from the world that which shall benefit him in
the hereafter. Let him benefit from youth before old age comes upon
him, and from life before death seizes him. By Him in Whose hands is
the life of Mohammad. There is no possibility of penitence after this
world and there is no abode after it save heaven or hell" (Usul
al-Kafi, Hadith 191/1599).
Islam has always stressed upon theimportance of acquiring knowledge.
The book Nahjul Balagha quotes the first Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (a):
"O' Kumayl, knowledge is better than wealth. Knowledge guards you,
while you have to guard the wealth. Wealth decreases by spending,
while knowledge multiplies by spending, and the results of wealth die
as wealth decays. O' Kumayl, knowledge is belief which is acted upon.
With it man acquires obedience during his life and a good name after
his death. Knowledge is the ruler while wealth is ruled upon."
One of the most important relationships in a person's life is that
between parents and offspring. In an invocation in as-Sahifat
al-Kaamilah, the fourth Imam, Ali ibn al-Husayn (a) sheds light on how
this relationship should be handled:
"O Allah, make me such that I may fear my parents the way one fears a
cruel king, that I may act towards them like a merciful mother. And
let my obedience toward them and my doing good unto them be more
satisfying to me than the sleep of a sleeping person and the quenching
of thirst of a thirsty person, so that I may give priority to their
desires over my own, and their happiness over my own..... Let my voice
be lowered before them, and let my speech be good before them, and let
my nature be soft toward them and let my heart be kind toward them and
let me be their companion..."
What practices should one undertake indealing with the world around
oneself? A part of the answer can be found in the fourth Imam's words:
"O Allah, I beg your forgiveness: for not helping the oppressed who
suffered oppression in my ken; for not offering thanks in return for
some good done unto me; for not accepting the apologies of one who
apologized for doing bad unto me; for refusing to give priority over
my own needs to the needs of one who had petitioned me....."
Abu Basir says: "A man said to Abu Jafar (the fifth Imam, God's
benediction be upon him), 'I am feeble of deeds and my fasts are few.
However, I try to eat nothing but that which is lawful.' The Imam said
to him, 'What endeavor is better than the effort to remain chaste in
respect of one's livelihood and sex relations?'" (Usul al-Kafi,
201/1638). Usul al-Kafi quotes the sixth Imam, Jafar al-Sadiq (a) as
saying: "The noble characteristics are ten. Cultivate them if you can,
for these qualities may be found in a man but not in his children, or
they may be found in the children but not in their father (i.e. they
are not hereditary), or they may be found in a slave and not in a
freeman." "What are they?", he was asked. The Imam said, "They are:
sincerity of indifference (to what is in the hands of people),
truthfulness, trustworthiness, consideration and care of one's
relatives, hospitality, giving food to the beggar, returning the
favors done to one, care for one's neighbor, care for one's companion,
and modesty, at the head of them all." (190/1552).
In conclusion, a point to remember is that according to Islamic
spirit, thefirst and foremost aim of a believerin following the
practices laid down byIslam is to seek Allah's pleasure.

Basics of becoming Muslim

Islam is an Arabic word and it connotes submission, surrender and
obedience. As a religion, Islam stands forcomplete submission and
obedience to Allah(God).
Islam, in fact, is an attributive title. Anyone who possesses this
attribute, whatever race, community, country or group he or she
belongs to, is a Muslim. According to the Qur'an (the Holy Book of the
Muslims), among every people and in all ages there have been good and
righteous people who possessed this attribute - and all of them were
and are Muslims.
Islam is a universal and eternal religion. Its appeal is to the whole
humanity. Any person who declares belief in La ilaha illallah
Muhammad-ur-Rasulullah (there is no deity but Allah, and Muhammad is
His Prophet) enters the fold of Islam and entitles him or herself to
the same rights as those of other Muslims.
Prophet Muhammad (blessings of Allah and peace be upon him) has
enjoined us to believe in five articles of faith:
1.Belief in one God Who has absolutely no associate with Him in His divinity;
2.Belief in God's Angels;
3.Belief in God's Books, and in the Holy Qur'an as His Last Book;
4.Belief in God's Prophets, and in Muhammad (blessings of Allah and
peace be upon him) as His Last and Final Messenger; and
5.Belief in life after death.
One who believes in these articles enters the fold of Islam and
becomes a member of the Muslim community. But one does not become a
complete Muslim by mere vocal profession alone. To become a complete
Muslim one has to fully carry out in practice the (blessings of Allah
and peace be upon him) as ordained by God.
These five articles form the foundation for the superstructure of
Islam. Their gist is contained in the short sentence known
asKalimah-Tayyibah. When you declareLa ilaha illallah(their is no
deity but Allah), you give up all false deities, and profess that you
are a creature of the One God; and when you add to these
wordsMuhammad-ur-Rasulullah(Muhammad is Allah's Messenger) you confirm
and admit the Prophethood of Muhammad (blessings of Allah and peace be
upon him).
With the admission of his Prophethood it becomes obligatory that you
should believe in the divine nature and attributes of God, in His
angels, in His Revealed Books and life after death, and earnestly
follow that method of obeying God and worshipping Him which the
Prophet Muhammad (blessings of Allah and peace be upon him) has asked
us to follow.
Now let us see what code of conduct Muhammad (blessings of Allah and
peace be upon him) has taught as ordained by God Almighty. The first
and foremost things in this respect are the 'Ibadah (or worships) -
the primary duties which must be observed by each and every person
professing to belong to the Muslim community.'Ibadahis an Arabic word
derived from 'Abd (a slave) and it means submission. The concept of
'Ibadah is very wide. All your activities are 'Ibadah if they are in
accordance with the law of God and your ultimate objective is to seek
the pleasure of God. A set of formal 'Ibadah (worships) are thus on
which the edifice of Islam rests:
1.Salah (prayers)- The most fundamental and the most important of
these obligations. Salah are the prescribed daily prayers which
consist in repeating and refreshing five times a day the belief in
which you repose your faith.
2.Fasting- What prayers seek to do five times a day, fasting in the
month of Ramadhan (the ninth month of the lunar year) does once a
year. What is it that makes us voluntarily undergo hunger or thirst
from dawn to dusk? It is nothing but faith in God and the fear of Him
and the Day of Judgment. This consciousness of duty and spirit of
patience that incessant fasting during a whole month helps us
strengthen our faith.
3.Zakah- Its fundamental importance lies in the fact that it fosters
in us the quality of sacrifice and rids us of selfishness and greed.
Islam accepts within its fold only those who are ready to give away in
God's way some of their wealth willingly. Every Muslim whose finances
are above a certain specified minimum must pay 2.5% of their cash
balance annually to the deserving.
4.Hajj (pilgrimage)- Mecca today stands at the site of a house that
the Prophet Abraham (God's blessing be upon him) built for the worship
of Allah. Allah rewarded him by calling it His own House and making it
the center towards which all must face when saying prayers. He has
also made it obligatory on those who can afford it to visit this place
to perform the Hajj, at least once in a lifetime. The pilgrimage is,
in a way, the biggest of 'Ibadah. For unless a person really loves God
he would never undertake such a long journey.
The Opening Chapter, Al-Fatihah, Surah 1 (The Holy Qur'an)
In the name of Allah (God), the Beneficent, the Merciful.
1.All Praise is due to Allah (God), Lord of the worlds,
2.the Beneficient,
3.the Merciful,
4.Owner of the Day of Judgement.
5.Thee alone we worship and Thee alone we ask for help.
6.Show us the straight path,
7.the path of those whom Thou hast favoured, not (the path of) those
who earn Thine anger nor (of) those who go astray. (Ameen)

Women To Whom Marriage is Prohibited

It is permanently haram for a Muslim to marry a woman who belongs to
one of the following categories:
1.Thefather's wife, whether divorced or widowed. During the period of
jahiliyyah such marriages were allowed. Then Islam prohibited them,
for once a woman is married to a man's father she acquires the status
of his mother, and this prohibition is out of honor and respect for
the father. Moreover, as this inviolable prohibition leaves no room
for sexual attraction between the son and his step-mother, they are
able to develop a relationship of respect and honor.
2.Themother, including the grandmothers on both sides.
3.Thedaughter, including the granddaughters from the son or daughter.
4.Thesister, including the half, and step-sisters.
5.Thepaternal aunt, whether she is the real, half, or step-sister of the father.
6.Thematernal aunt, whether she is the real, half, or step-sister of the father.
7.Thebrother's daughter, i.e., his niece.
8.Thesister's daughter, i.e., her niece.
All these female blood-relatives are a man's muharramat and he is
mahrem to his corresponding female relatives. Marriage to any mahrem
whomsoever is permanently prohibited. Thereasons for this
prohibitionare as follows.
a.Entertaining any sexual thoughts concerning such close relatives as
one's mother, sister, and daughter is instinctively abhorrent to human
nature; there are even certain animals which avoid mating with such
closely-related animals. The respect a man feels for his aunts is like
the respect he has for his mother, and likewise uncles are regarded as
fathers.
b.Since the family must live together in intimacy and privacy but
without incestuous relations, the Shari'ah intends to cut at the roots
of any sexual attraction among such close relatives.
c.Since there is natural love and affection among such close blood
relatives, the intent of the Shari'ah is to expand the circle of love
and kinship by prohibiting incest and thereby directing the man's
search for women outside the family. Thus each marriage extends the
sphere of love, bringing new people within this ever-expanding network
of affection: "And He has put love and mercy between you." ( Surah 30:
Verse 21)
d.The natural sentiments of love and affection between a man and the
above-mentioned female relatives must be kept strong forever. If
marriage were permitted between such relatives, it would cause
jealousies, dissensions, and the disruption of families, destroying
the very sentiments of love and affection which give cohesiveness and
permanence to the family structure.
e.The offspring of marriages to such close blood relatives would most
probably be defective and weak. Moreover, if physical or mental
defects are present in the members of a family, they would become more
pronounced among the children of such marriages.
f.The woman needs someone to champion her rights and support her case
against her husband, especially when relations between the two of them
become strained. If those women who could defend her became rivals,
how would this be possible?
Marriages Prohibited by Reason of Fosterage
1.The foster mother: It is haram for a Muslim to marry a woman who has
suckled him during his infancy, for suckling makes her like his real
mother, since milk has gone into the making of his flesh and bones.
Nursing consciously or unconsciously produces feelings of motherhood
in a woman and of kinship in a child, and although these feelings
might seem to disappear as the child grows and becomes a man, they
remain hidden in the unconscious.
However, the prohibition of marriage based on fosterage is effective
only if the suckling occurred before the time of weaning; that is,
when milk was the primary source of food. Another condition is that
the child has suckled his fill on five separate occasions, a fill
being defined as when the child leaves off suckling of his own accord.
After a survey of all the ahadith on this subject, the fixing of five
sucklings as the minimum seems to be the preferred view.
2.Foster sisters: Just as a woman become a mother to a child by virtue
of suckling, likewise her daughters become his sisters, her sisters
his aunts, and so on. The Prophet (peace be on him) said: "What is
haram by reason of genealogy is haram by reason of fosterage."
(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.) Thus the foster-sisters,
foster-aunts, and foster-nieces are all muharramat and marriage to
them is permanently prohibited.
In-law Relationships
1.Themother-in-law: Marriage to the wife's mother is permanently
prohibited from the time a man enters into a marriage contract with a
woman, whether he and his wife have engaged in sexual intercourse or
not. The act of marriage itself gives the mother-in-law the same
status as the mother.
2.Thestep-daughter: A man cannot marry his step-daughter (his wife's
daughter by a previous marriage) if sexual intercourse has taken place
with her mother, his wife. However, if a man divorces his wife without
having had intercourse with her, it is permissible for him to marry
her daughter by a previous marriage.
3.Thedaughter-in-law: That is, the wife of the real son, not that of
the adopted son. In fact, Islam abolished the permissibility of the
system of legal, formalized adoption, because this is contrary to fact
and to reality, resulting in the prohibiting of what is essentially
halal and the permitting of what is essentially haram. Allah Ta'ala
says: ...Nor has He made your sons by adoption your (real) sons. Those
are simply words from your mouths....(33:4) meaning that it is merely
an expression of the language which does not alter reality nor
transform an outsider to the family into a blood relative.
These three types of female relatives are forbidden in marriage in
order that peaceful relationships may be maintained among the in laws.
Sisters as Co-Wives
1.As opposed to the practice of the period of jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic
era), Islam forbade taking two sisters as co-wives at the same time,
because the feeling of love and sisterliness which Islam wants to
maintain between sisters would be destroyed if one sister became the
co-wife of the same husband.
While the Qur'an mentioned the two sisters, the Prophet (peace be on
him) added, "A man may not be married to a woman and her paternal aunt
(at the same time), nor to a woman and her maternal aunt". (Reported
by al-Bukhari and Muslim.) and he said, "If you do this, you will
sever your ties of kinship." (Reported by Ibn Hibban.) And how could
Islam permit the breaking of such kinship ties when it places so much
importance on them?
Married Women
1.As long as a woman is married, her marriage to any other man is
prohibited. She may marry another man only when two conditions are
fulfilled:
a.Her marriage tie is broken either because of thedeathof herhusbandor
because ofdivorce;
b.She has completed the period of waiting ('iddah) ordained by Allah.
For a pregnant woman this period ends when she delivers the baby. If
she is widowed but not pregnant, the period of 'iddah is four months
and ten days, while if she is divorced and it is not known whether or
not she is pregnant, the 'iddah is three menstrual cycles. This 'iddah
relates to the woman who has menstrual periods; for a woman who does
not menstruate, the 'iddah is three months.
Allah Ta'ala says:
"And divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly
periods. And it is not permissible for them to conceal what Allah has
created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day." (
Surah 2: Verse 228)
"...and As for those who have no further expectation of menstruation
among your women, if you are in doubt, the waiting period is three
months, as well as for those who have no menses. And for those who are
pregnant, their period is until they deliver their burdens." ( Surah
65: Verse 4)
And, "For those of you who die and leave behind widows, they shall
wait concerning themselves for four months and ten days..." ( Surah 2:
Verse 234).
Of thesefifteencategories of female relatives to whom marriage is
prohibited,fourteen are mentioned in Surah al-Nisa:
"And do not marry those women whom your fathers married, except what
is past; indeed, it was an indecency and an abomination, and an evil
path. Forbidden to you are your mothers and your daughters, and your
sisters and your father's sisters and your mother's sisters, and your
brothers' daughters and your sisters' daughters, and your foster
mothers and your foster sisters, your wives' mothers, your
stepdaughters under your guardianship born of your wives to whom you
have gone in—and if you have not gone into them there is no blame on
you—and the wives of your sons proceeding from your loins, and that
you should marry two sisters at one time, except what is past; indeed
Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." ( Surah 4: Verses 22-23)
The prohibition against being married to a woman and any of her aunts
at the same time is derived from the hadith cited above.