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Monday, August 26, 2013

Issues in which Men and Women are treated alike or Women are treated favorably

This chapter discusses issues, which carry little or no controversy.
1. Education
The Messenger of Allah ! once said: "Acquiring knowledge is compulsory
for every Muslim. (At-Tabarani)
This narration applies equally to men and women. "Knowledge" in this
context refers primarily to knowledge of the Qur�aan and the Sunnah as
no Muslim should be ignorant of his or her Faith, but it also covers
other areas of general education, which can contribute to the welfare
of civilization. It is preciselythe ignorance about their religion
among Muslims that has led to men oppressing women because they
believe it ispermitted, women not demanding their God-given rights
because they are ignorant of them, and children growing up to
perpetuate their parents' follies. Throughout Islamic history, men and
womenboth earned respect as scholars and teachers of the Faith. The
books of Rijal (Reporters of Hadith) contain the names of many
prominent women, beginning with 'Aishah and Hafsah.
2. Worship
It has already been discussed in detail that both men and women are
the slaves of Allah and have a duty to worship and obey Him. Men and
women have topray, fast, give charity, go on pilgrimage, refrain from
adultery, avoid the prohibited, enjoin the good and forbid the evil,
and so on. Because of women's roles as mothers, a role which does not
end at a specific time but is a roundthe-clock career, they have been
exempted from attending the Mosque for the five daily prayers or for
Jumu 'ah (Friday) prayer. Nevertheless, if they wish to attend the
Mosque, no one has the right to stop them.
3. Charitable Acts
Men and women are both encouraged to givecharity, and there is nothing
to stop a woman giving charity from her husband's income.
'Aishah reported that theMessenger of Allah ! said:
"A woman will receive reward (from Allah) evenwhen she gives charity
from her husband's earnings. The husband and the treasurer (who keeps
the money on the husband's behalf) will also be rewarded, without the
reward of any of them decreasing."
Asma' once said to the Prophet
"O Messenger of Allah, I have nothing except what Zubair (her husband)
brings home." The Prophet told her: "O Asma, give in charity. Don't
lock it lest your subsistence is locked."
4. The Right to own Wealth and Property
A woman has the right to keep her property or wealth, whether earned
or inherited, and spend it as she may please.
This right was granted to Western women only very recently, and the
women of India had to wait until 1956 for a right which Muslim women
have always taken for granted. Concerning the right to one's earnings,
the Qur�aan says:
"And wish not for the things in which Allah hasmade some of you excel
the others. For men there is reward for whatthey have earned, (and
likewise) for women there is reward for whatthey have earned, and ask
Allah of His Bounty. Surely, Allah is Ever All-Knower of everything."
(V. 4:32)
5. Freedom to express One's Opinion
Few societies exist in which the ordinary citizen can confront the
ruler face to face and challenge his policies. Even fewer societies
allow women to be so bold, yet the Islamic ideal has always been open
and accessible. Thisfreedom of expression isaptly demonstrated by a
famous incident involving 'Umar the second Rightly- Guided Caliph.
'Umar was once standingon the pulpit, severely reprimanding the people
and ordering them not to set excessiveamounts of dower at thetime of
marriage. A woman got up and shouted, "Umar! You have no right to
intervene in a matter which Allah the All-Mighty has already decreed
in the Qur�aan:
"But if you intend to replace a wife by another and you have given one
of them a Qintar (of gold, i.e., a great amount as Mahr bridal money),
take not the least bit of it back; would you take it wrongfully
without a right and (with) a manifest sin?" (V.4:20)
After being reminded of this Verse, 'Umar withdrew his order, saying,
"I am in the wrong and she is correct."
6. Participation in Jihad
The battlefield is a place,which frightens many men let alone women.
Due to the aggressive and violent nature of war, only men have a duty
to participate in Jihad (holy fighting in Allah's Cause) while women
are exempted. A woman once asked the Prophet to allow womento go on
Jihad with men because of its excellence and the unlimited reward
promised to Mujahidin (Muslim fighters) in the Hereafter.
The Prophet replied:
"For them is a Jihad without fighting," whichreferred to the Hajj and 'Umrah.
Nevertheless the Prophetdid permit women to nurse the injured and
supply provisions to the Mujahidin at some battles. A woman from the
tribe of Ghifar came with a large group of women to the Prophet when
he was preparing to leave for the conquestof Khaibar. She said:
"O Allah's Messenger, we wish to accompany you on this journey so that
we may nurse the injured and help the Muslims." The Prophet responded,
"Come may Allah shower His blessings upon you."
Umm 'Atiyyah an Ansari woman, once said:
"I have participated in seven battles with the Prophet. I used to
guard the camels of the Mujahidin in their absence, cook the food,
treat the injured and care for the sick."
Mu'adh bin Jabal reportsthat his cousin Asma' bint Yazid killed nine
Roman soldiers with a tent-pole during the battle of Yarmuk.
7. Freedom to choose Her Husband
The guardian of the girl, whether her father, brother or uncle, plays
an important role in her marriage, such as finding a suitable match
for her. But under no circumstance does this allow him to force his
choice on her against her wishes. She is free toaccept or reject his
choice, or make her ownchoice. A woman named Khansa bint Khidam once
came to the Prophet and complained:
"My father has forced meto marry my cousin in order to raise his own
status (in the eyes of the people)." The Prophet told her that she was
free to dissolve this marriage and choose whomever she wished to
marry. She replied, "I accept my father's choice, but my aim was to
let the women know that fathers have no right to interfere in the
marriage." (Ahmad, An-Nasa 'i and Ibn Majah)
8. A Woman's Guarantee in War is acceptable
If a woman gives surety to a war-captive or giveshim shelter, her
guarantee will be accepted. Umm Hani a cousin of the Prophet, said to
him after the conquest of Makkah: "I have given shelter to two of my
in-laws." The Prophet said: "O Umm Hani, we have given shelter to whom
you have given shelter."
According to another narrative, Umm Hani gave shelter to a man but her
cousin 'Ali tried to kill the man. She complained to the Prophet who
endorsed her act of giving shelter to the man.
9. The Right to custody of Children
Divorce is especially painful and difficult when the couple have had
children, and awarding custody to either party involves difficulties.
According to Western law, both fatherand mother have to prove to the
Court that they are more capable oflooking after the children, and
this often involves maligning the other party in order to strengthen
their own claims to custody. Islamiclaw has its own clear decision on
this issue. Custody of young boys and girls goes to the mother. The
son stays with his mother until he is about seven or nine years of
age, after whichhe is looked after by the father. The daughter remains
with her motheruntil she gets married. The exception is when the
mother herself re-marries, in which casecustody may be awardedto
someone else such as the girl's grandmother or aunt. This is based on
the Prophet's words to the divorcee:
"Your right to custody ofthe child is greater as long as you do not remarry."
10. Participation in extending cooperation for the promotion of good
and elimination of evil.
The Qur�aan deals with this subject in clear terms:
"The believers, men and women, are Auliya ' (helpers, supporters,
friends, protectors) of one another; they enjoin(on the people)
Al-Ma'ruf(i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to
do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e.. polytheism and
disbelief of all kinds, andall that Islam has forbidden); they perform
As-Salat (Iqįmat-as-Salįt), and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His
Messenger. Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely, Allah is
All-Mighty, All-Wise." (V. 9:71)

The Home and Women

While men are the physically stronger sex, the woman's biological
make-up has made her excel as the homemaker.She alone can be
impregnated, carry and deliver the child, and then suckle the baby.
Her gentle, caring and self-sacrificing temperament is best suited to
bringing up children and looking after the home. To say that she
should also earna living is an unacceptable injustice and implies that
everything she does for her home and children isworthless and needs to
be supplemented by an outside cover. A woman already has to play in
society a great and noble role as mother of a new generation, a
rolefor which no man can claim the honors. It is because of her
supreme role as mother that she is entitled to three times the
devotion given to the father from the children.
The roles of men and women in the Qur�aan are dealt as:
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has
made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend from
their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and
guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard." (V.
4:34)
This Divine injunction describes the man as Qawwam (maintainer) and
the woman as Qanitah (obedient) and Hafizatun lil-Ghaib (preserver of
the secret).The Verse gives two reasons as to why men are described as
maintainers. Firstly, because "Allah has madethe one of them to excel
the other," which meansthat He has excelled mento be physically
stronger and more inclined to have a career outside the home. The
history of mankind has always shown that men, from the most primitive
to themost technologically minded, have assumed the role of providing
food, maintaining law and order in the community, waging war against
enemies, and going on expeditions in search of new lands, adventure,
food and even hidden treasure. The women have primarily stayed at
hometo provide a stable environment for the children.
The second reason is that "they spend from their means." It is the
man's duty to provide financially for his family, and it is also the
man who is required to give a dower to his wife at the time of their
marriage. In the castle ofhis home, the husband isthe ruler and the
wife is his pillar of support. As in any establishment, there can only
be one ruler; a car with two drivers, a country with two kings or an
army with two generals would all be in utter chaos and disarray. The
husband has thus been put in charge of his home, but this is a
responsibility and not a privilege.
Both Sexes have Rights over each other:
The different roles of thesexes means that never is one sex burdened
with all the duties while the other enjoys all the privileges. Instead
they both have individual duties and privileges. The Qur�aan says in
this regard:
"And they (women) haverights similar over them to what is reasonable,
but men have a degree over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise."
(V. 2:228)

Story, - Jealousy or what ...

Comments: 3
I have been married for five wonderful years. We have it all mutual
understanding, common interests, good sex life, nothing to complain
about not even financial troubles. But I have a problem.
My husband is one of those charming men withperfect manners who
captivate everyone with ease. That is one of the reasons why I married
him but nowadays this part of his personality makes me nervous.
It really bothers me whenhe pays attention to other women or when they
pay too much attention to him. It doesn't matter if it is a family
friend, a waitress, the next door neighbor or even my sister. I get
unreasonably angry and start thinking he is cheating on me with the
woman he is talking to. I bite my tongue and thinkof a reason why they
should end the conversation.
The monotony is killing me and I think it does thesame to him. So I
don't understand why his innocent flirting is bothering me so much.
I hate that I spoil my ownmood because of such trivial things.

Story, - True Love truned into nightmare

Hi, my name is James and my wife name is Angel. We have been together
now for 5 years. Let me start with my background before I met my wife.
Like all men, I too was enjoying my life to the fullest. I had lot of
friends; went on a weekend outing, drinks, party and so on. I am a
Christian and she is a Hindu and I had a lot of opposition from my
parents and families. Even my friends advised me to stop seeing her
and start new considering the consequences. But I was so much in love
with her that I thought it is worth to live with her for 2 minutes and
die rather than living without her for rest of the life. I somehow
convinced my parents and families risking my father's life. Due to all
this chaos he had a major cardiac arrest and underwent bypass surgery.
My mom'sblood pressure shoot to 190 and she bled from nose. Doctor
said that shewas lucky to live because with such high BP she could
have had a cardiac arrest and would have never recovered. Well, I
faced all these problems but still was firm to my parents that she is
the one. I started losing interest in everything; started coming home
drinking a lot, met with an accident and was just seconds away from
death. My parents looking at my ordeal approved our wedding and we got
married.
I could have married Angel without my parent's consent, but my parents
have done so much for me that I want their blessing in my wedding. We
got married and everything was going fine for 5 to 6 months and then
problems started. Considering that I am now a married person and have
a lot of responsibilities I started concentrating in my work. I
distanced myself with all of my friends, started working for 16hrsa
day (so that I can have overtime), and even started working on
weekends. All my hard work paid off, I was promoted as an Asst.
Manager and had a salaryhike of 75%.
The problem is my wife issuspicious on me for everything; she checks
my mobile call log, messages and even my purse. She does not let me go
out even for a minute, she keeps on calling me all day checking where
I am, what I am doing, with who I am. She checks my mobile for unknown
numbers and calls them back from her mobile to see if that is a male
or a female. If it is a female, she creates such a ruckus that I feel
like I am becoming a murderer with all the negative thoughts (can't
explain it here). Well, being a manager I have a lot of
responsibilities and get calls all day long. I really don't know what
to do; I love her more than anything but her behaviour has made to
think again. I have sacrificed my life so muchfor her and still
sacrifice a lot but she pushes me to the limit.
It is no use talking to her,I have tried so many times to try to talk
it to her and have her understand that her behaviour is not right.
ByGod's grace I have everything now and financially well settled. I am
just thinking if she is really worth all my sacrifices or if I should
move on without her.