Fathwa, - Who has the religious and legal right to name an infant: the mother, father, or ...

Question:
Who has the religious and legal right to name an infant: the mother,
father, or someone else? Even if the wife really wants aspecific name
and SHE is the one who carried for 9 months and SHE is the one who
will go through the pains of delivery while the husband does nothing
of the sort, can his choice override the mother's choice for her
child's name?
Answer:
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you and your family well.
From the ahadith of the Prophet, peace be upon him, one understands
that it is the duty of the parents to give the child a good and
respectable name. In answer to your question, it was pointed out to me
that the father has the ultimate say in naming the child based on his
role as amir of the family.
To prevent bad feelings, you and your husband might settle on a
compromise. Perhaps you can both decide on aname that is mutually
pleasing. Or you could pick your husband's choice as the child's first
name, and give him yourchoice as a middle name,or vice versa. Maybe
you can take turns, that is, your first child get's the name Dad
wants, the second gets Mom's choice, etc.
Ultimately, the father is the amir of the family, but a good amir is
the one who decides through mutual consultation. It is possible for
you to recognize your husband's role as the amir, while at the same
time, making your own wishes clear.
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:
Allah's Apostle said,"Surely! Everyone of you is a guardian and is
responsible for his charges: The Imam (ruler) of the people is a
guardian and is responsible for his subjects; a man is the guardian of
his family (household) and is responsible for his subjects; a woman is
the guardian of her husband's home and of his children and is
responsible for them; and the slave of a man is a guardian of his
master's property and is responsible for it. Surely, everyone of you
is a guardian and responsible for his charges."
[Bukhari, Volume 9, Book89, Number 252]
Allah Most High speaks ofmutual consultation, or shura, as one of the
qualities of the believers,"And those who answer the call of their
Lord and establish worship, and whose affairs are a matter of counsel,
and who spend of what We have bestowed on them." [As-Shura, 42:38]
I pray that Allah gives you a solution through mutual consultation
that is beneficial to all.
And Allah knows best.

Fathwa, - Permission to observe voluntary fast?

Question:
My wife is really struggling with the idea that why does a woman need
to get her husband's permission to observe voluntary fast? She is
really confused about the fact that this is an act between her and
Allah, why does she need permission from a human being? She has got
some answers from local Imams saying that the man is more inclined
towardsgoing out and committing Zina, so that's why the woman should
be readily available for her husband. This answer really made her
upset, becuase she contested that there are women out there who are as
vulnerable as men. Canyou please provide us a detailed answer, becuase
she is really struggling with this spiritually and physically.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May Allah's peace and blessings shower upon our beloved Messenger.
Dear Brother,
I pray this message finds you and your wife in good health and spirits.
The basis for a woman's asking her husband's permission to do a
voluntary fast comes from the hadith of the Prophet, Allah bless him
and give him peace, "A woman should not fast (optional fasts) except
with her husband's permission if he is at home (staying with her)."
[Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 120]
Our duty as Muslims is to approach the teachings of the Prophet, peace
be upon him, with the attitude enjoined by the Qur'an, "And it
becomethnot a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His
messenger have decided an affair (for them), that they should (after
that) claim any say in their affair; and whoso is rebellious to Allah
and His messenger, he verily goeth astray in error manifest."
[Al-Ahzab, 33:36]
The essence of Islam resides in sublimating our inclinations to what
the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, brought us.
Please reassure your wife that her seeking your permission to perform
a voluntary fast is neither demeaning nor degrading to her. Unlike
obligatory fasts, which are an obligation solely due to Allah Most
High, voluntary fasts involve the rights of a fellow human being,
namely the husband. Out of respect and consideration for each other,
both husband andwife should check with each other before performing a
voluntary fast.
My teacher told me that the fundamental purposes of marriage arelove,
intimacy, and companionship. It's hard to satisfy these purposes if
the spouses do not make themselves sexually available to eachother. In
Islam, marriage is a form of contract, based on the premise that the
woman will make herself sexually available to the man with his promise
that he will support her and their children. It is the wife's
religious and legalobligation to make herself available to her
husband. Likewise, it is the husband's religious and legal obligation
to satisfy his wife. Thus, they keep each other chaste.
Your wife is correct: there are some women out there who are inclined
to stray. However, generally speaking, the urge for men to stray is
usually much stronger. The rulings of Sacred Law usually address
themselves to general cases, rather than exceptions.
When a woman gets her husband's consent to perform a voluntary fast,
she can attain to much baraka (blessing) because:
1. She is following the Sunna of our Beloved Prophet, Allah bless him
and give him peace.
2. She is letting her husband know how much she cares about him.
3. She is exemplifying the noble spirit of Islamicmarriage: an
attitude of loving, compassionate concern.
4. When she exhibits such a positive attitude, Allah willing, her
husband will reciprocate.
May Allah Most High blessyou and your wife.
And Allah knows best.

Juwayriyyah Bint Al-Haarith

The fifth year of Hijrah )the Migration of Prophet Muhammadfrom Makkah
to Al-Madeenah( was a year rich in major events. During its second
half, the Muslims were busy fighting the Parties )coalition of the
tribes that rallied against them in an attempt to impede the spread of
Islam(.
Muslims dug a trench around Al-Madeenah to defend it against the
enemies outside. But a greater danger was facing them from inside,
that of the Jewish tribes who breached the peace treaty. After
defeating the Parties, the Prophetrallied the Muslims against the
Jewish tribe of Banu An-Nadheer first. They blockaded their fortress
for twenty-five days until they all surrendered. Then the Muslims set
off towards the tribe of Banu Al-Mustaliq who were gathering forces to
fight them.
The two armies met at a watering well called Al-Muraysee'.A fierce
battle took place which ended by a heavy defeat of Banu Al-Mustaliq.
Most of their fighters were killed and their women were taken
captives. Their leader,Al-Haarith Ibn Dhiraar, escaped, but his
daughter, Barrah, fell to the hands of the Muslims.
The Prophetdistributed the captives among the Muslims. The daughter of
Al-Haarith fell to the lot of Thaabit Ibn Qays. 'Aa'ishahwho
accompanied the Propheton this expedition, related: "When the
Prophetdistributed the captives of Banu Al-Mustaliq, she)Barrah( fell
to the lot of Thaabit Ibn Qays )(. She was married to her cousin, who
was killed during the battle. She gave Thaabit a deed )document(,
agreeing to pay him for her freedom. She was a very beautifulwoman.
She captivated every man who saw her. She came to the Prophetto ask
for his help in the matter. As soon as I saw her at the door of my
room, I took a dislike to her, for I knew that he would see her as I
saw her. She went in and told himwho she was, the daughter of
Al-Haarith Ibn Dhiraar, the chief of his people. She said: 'You can
see the state to which I have been brought. I have fallen to thelot of
Thaabit, and have given him a deed for my ransom, and I have come to
ask your help in thematter.' Hesaid:'Would you like something better
than that? I will discharge your debt, and marry you.'She said: 'Yes,
O Messenger of Allaah!''Then it is done.'Hereplied." ]Ahmad[
This was the event that turned Barrah's )later named Juwayriyyah by
the Prophet( life around. For not only did she accept Islam, thus
saving herself from Hellfire, but by accepting the Prophetfor her
husband and thus became Umm Al-Mu'mineen )Mother of the Believers(.
The news that the Prophethad married Juwayriyyahspread out, and now
that Banu Al-Mustaliq were the Prophet's relatives by marriage, the
Muslims found it hard to keep them as their captives. "The relatives
of the Messenger of Allaah!" They exclaimed. They set them free. A
hundred families were released from captivity because of this blessed
marriage."I do not know a woman who was a greater blessing to her
people than she." Said 'Aa'ishah.
Juwayriyyahwas a woman ofexceptional beauty, and because she belonged
to the highest classof her society, sheacquired the best upbringing
and education that was available during her time. Shewas twenty years
old when the Prophetmarried her. No doubt, shewas the source
ofjealousy for his other wivesbut this did not prevent them from
appreciating her good character and companionship.
When the Prophetwent back to Al-Madeenah after that raid)on Banu
Al-Mustaliq(, with Juwayriyyahand was at a place called
'Thaatul-Jaysh', heentrusted her to one of the Ansaar )supporters of
the Prophetfrom Al-Madeenah(. Her father, Al-Haarith, discovered that
shehad been captive and went back to Al-Madeenah, bringing his
daughter's ransom. When he reached Al-'Aqeeq )a place near
Al-Madeenah(, he looked at the camels he had brought as her ransom and
admired two of them greatly, so he hid them in one of the passes of
Al-'Aqeeq. Then he came to theProphetdragging the camels behind him,
and told him: "My daughter is too noble to be takenas a captive. Set
her free by this ransom." The Prophetreplied:"Isn't it better that we
let her choose for herself?""That is fair enough," said Al-Haarith. He
cameto his daughter and said: "This man is letting you choose so do
not dishonor us!" "I choose the Messenger of Allaah," shereplied
calmly. "What a disgrace!"he exclaimed.
The Prophetthen said:"Where are the two camels which you have hidden
in Al-'Aqeeq in such-and such a pass?"Al-Haarith exclaimed: "I bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allaah, and that you
Muhammad are the Messenger of Allaah! For none could have known of
this but Allaah." Heand his two sons who were with him and some of his
men accepted Islam. The Prophetasked him again for his daughter's hand
and heaccepted. The Prophetgave his new bride four hundred Dirhams as
her dowry.
Juwayriyyahaccepted Islam wholeheartedly and followed the excellent
example of her husbandin the worship of her Lord, trying to even
compete with himat times. Heleft her roomonce for Fajr )dawn prayer(
and came back after Dhuha)forenoon(: "I spent all the time you were
absent supplicating," she told him. Hesaid: "Shall I tell you a few
words, if yousay them they will be heavier in the scale )on the Day of
Judgment( than what you have done? You say; 'Subhaana Allaahi 'adada
khalqih, subhaana Allaahi ridha nafsihi, subhana Allaahi zinata
'arshihi, subhaana Allaahi midaada kalimaatih.")Exalted)and Praised(
is Allaah as many times as the number of His creatures, and as much as
pleases Him, and as much as the weight of His Throne, and as much as
the ink for His Words(.]At-Tirmithi[
Juwayriyyahspent her life in seclusion after the Prophetpassed away.
The Caliphswould provide for her sustenance, but she would spendit all
for the sake of Allaah. Sheperformed Hajj many times, and was known
for her passionate worship.
Shekept away from all the trials that raged later during her life.
Shedied during the caliphate of Mu'aawiyahat the age of sixty five.

Umm Salamah- II

Her widowhood and marriage to the Prophet
In the third year of Hijrah)Migration of the Prophetfrom Makkah to
Madeenah(, Abu Salamahfought in the Battle ofUhud. In that historic
andcrucial battle, his arm was wounded by a poisoned arrow shot by the
enemy. Helater recovered after treatment, but could survive only for a
few months. His wound relapsed and ultimately hedied.
Umm Salamahwas immensely grief-stricken at the demise of her loving
husband. When the Prophet, sallalaahu alayhi wa sallam, heard about
this, he sallalaahu alayhi wa sallam went to offer condolences to
herand asked her to havepatience and bear the calamity with fortitude.
According to one narration, when the Prophet sallalaahu alayhi wa
sallam paid a condolence visit to Umm Salamahafter the death of her
husband, hesallalaahu alayhi wa sallam asked her to pray Allaah to
grant Abu Salamah the lofty rank of the righteous and grant her a
better husband than him.
At this, Umm Salamahwondered who could be a better husband for her
than Abu Salamah. Seeing the forlorn state of Umm
Salamahaftershewaswidowed, Abu Bakrsent her a proposal for marriage,
which Umm Salamahdeclined.
The Prophet, sallalaahu alayhi wa sallam, was greatly impressed with
the courage, which Umm Salamahdisplayed in facing the misfortunes and
adversities of life. He sallalaahu alayhi wa sallam was also highly
moved for her tragic situation and sent the proposal for marriage to
her through 'Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab. Umm Salamahconsented, and in
Shawwal, the 4th year of Hijrah, her marriage to the Noble Prophet,
sallalaahu alayhi wa sallam, took place.
A Historical example of her wisdom
In the 6th Hijrah year, theProphetaccompanied by his 1,400
companionsdecided to perform 'Umrah )minor Pilgrimage(. When Quraysh
learned about this, they decided to stop the Muslims from performing
the pilgrimage; but when theMuslims decided to fight them they feared
and signed a treaty with the Muslims, which consisted of several terms
and conditions which appeared to be unfair forthe Muslims as it
prevented them from performing 'Umrah that year.
The Prophetaccepted these conditions in adherence to the Divine
Command instructing himto do so. Then the Prophetordered the Muslims
to slaughter animals in sacrifice)indicating the end of the 'Umrah
rites(. But the Muslims hesitated in offering the sacrifice, which
grieved the Prophet.
Umm Salamahwho was with the Propheton this journey, heard this and
suggested to theProphetto offer the sacrifice, shave his head and take
off the Ihraam. The Prophetdid so acting on her advice. When the
companionssaw that the Prophet's command was irrevocable, they at once
sacrificed their animals and shaved their heads.
Her character:
Umm Salamahled a very simple and austere life. Shewas a devout
worshiper. Every month, shefasted for three days )other than the
fasting of Ramadan(. Once, shewore a necklace, which had a little
amount of gold in it.The Prophetdid not like her wearing even this
little amount of gold.So Umm Salamahimmediately took it out.
Umm Salamahwas very generous. Sheimplored others also to give away in
the cause ofAllaah. Whatever shehad, shewould readily give away to a
beggar or a needy person.
Once, a few destitute people came to her begging for charity
importunately. Umm Salamahordered her maid not to send them back
empty-handed, and if there was nothing in the houses, she should give
them just a few dates.
Umm Salamahhas narrated 378 Hadeeths ofthe Prophet. In moral
excellence and nobility ofconduct, she ranks, among the Prophet's
wives, next only to 'Aa'ishah. Shewas an excellent reciter of
theQuran, and her style was much similar to the Prophet's. Shewas
endowed with exceptionally beautiful countenance, deep knowledge,
intelligence and sound judgment.
Her death:
After a life filled with faith and righteous deeds, the Mother of the
Believers, Umm Salamahdied in the year 61 A.H., aged 84 and the
venerable Companion, Abu Hurayrahled the people in her funeral prayer,
after which shewas buried in Al-Baqee' Cemetery in Madeenah.