Fathwa, - The brownish discharge which comes during and immediately after menstruation

Question
I suffer from having a long menstrual period.Before the menstrual
period, a dark brownish discharge comes out continuously for two days.
Then another brownish discharge comes out for two daysafter the
menstrual period. The total of discharge is eleven days: a discharge
for two days before menstruation, the natural menstrual period lasts
for seven days, and then anotherdischarge comes out for two days after
the menstrual period. The Shaykhs provided contradicting views in this
respect. Some say that the discharge before the menstrual period, not
the discharge which comes out after, is considered menstruation.
Others say that the discharge before the menstrual period is not
considered menstruation, although they say that purity is not achieved
unless the brownish discharge completely stops, i.e. after the ninth
day. In both cases, however, I blame myself because Ifeel that I am
wrong and was not correctly directed. Please advise.May Allaah Reward
you.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad
, is His Slave and Messenger.
The issues of menstruation are ramified and complicatedand therefore
scholars past and present provided different relevant opinions and
Fataawa in this regard, each according to the sound opinion from his
point of view. Nevertheless, you should consult a trustworthy
andreligious scholar and then act according to his opinion. You should
not ask more than one scholar about the same issue, for this causes
you confusion and disturbance. Following the opinion of only one
scholar will spare you all this.
As for the question, the brownish discharge which comes out
immediately before and after the menstrual period for four days is
considered menstruation and the relevant rulings are applied. If the
brownish discharge exceeded the maximum period of menstruation which
is fifteen days and she can distinguish the menstrual blood from
others, she can act accordingly. Otherwise, she has to count her usual
menstruation period. Allaah Knows best. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
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The Virtue of Nurturing Girls - II

Consider, may Allaah have mercy upon you, how Allaah The Almighty
mentions houses in relation to women in three occasions in His Book,
despite thefact that these houses (in most cases) belong to their
guardians. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):
• {And remember what is recited in your houses of the verses of Allaah
and wisdom.} [Quran 33:34]
• {And abide in your houses.} [Quran 33:33]
• {Do not turn them out of their [husbands'] houses.} [Quran 65:1]
So, be eager to bring up your daughters to abide in the home, and
adhere to firmness for it is more beneficial for their religion and
more likely to bring you honor in this world and the Hereafter.
Third: Giving her shelter in a house full of Thikr (mentioning and
remembering Allaah), worship and righteous deeds. It is true that some
women do not come out of their houses, but their houses, at the same
time, are inhabited by the human devils and the jinn, where women do
not veil themselves from the men who are not their Mahrams
(unmarriageable relatives), and their sons and those of the paternal
and maternal uncles and aunts go and come and enter everywhere they
like with neither a cover nor a veil.
The same is true of the driver andthe servant, as if they have foster
relations with them, for they enter upon the women of the house with
no veil. Such a house is not fit to be a refuge, for it is a house in
which honor is violated.
Also, some women do not come out of their houses, but their houses are
filled with corruption-causing devices and channels of singing and
adultery. The girl there thus learns, listens to and sees what is
unlawful, is temptedaway from her religion and straysand gets
corrupted more than if she goes to markets.
Is this a refuge, O slaves of Allaah?
The real refuge lies in a screeningshelter that guards and maintains
your honor: "Whoever has three daughters whom he gives refuge,
provides for and shows mercy to, Paradise is inevitably guaranteed for
him."
That was the refuge; now what isintended by providing for them?
This is explained in the narration of Muslim: "Whoever looks after two
girls until they attain the ageof maturity." An-Nawawi said, "It means
to raise them andprovide them with sustenance." It is further
explained in his (the Prophet's saying: "And dresses them from what he
has."
Yes, O slaves of Allaah! To provide the woman with what she
necessarily needs of food, clothing and sustenance is among the
obligatory duties and one of the greatest acts that bring men closer
to Allaah.
Men should provide women with these things so that they would not need
to come out of the house to work and earn their living. They should
provide them with these necessities so that they would not think about
committing a sin or deviation.
The Prophet said: "To provide for them," and did not say to make them
transgress by giving them what is beyond their needs as many fathers,
may Allaah guide them, do with their daughters. They give their
daughters all that they ask for, and whenever one's daughter has a
desire for a certain thing, they hasten to buy it for her to fulfill
her desire, and whenever they request anything, they hurrywith full
power in response to her command.
This kind of indulgence destroys the girl and would shorten her
marital life. Once such a girl moves to the house of her husband and
is no longer pampered, she rebels against herhusband because she
misses what she was brought up on.
On the other extreme are other men who fall short of fulfilling the
necessities of their women, shouting at them things like,"Why do you
not come out and work like so-and-so who obtains her needs and what is
sufficient for her?" Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And [they
are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly
but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate.} [Quran 25:67]
The third qualification and condition included under being kind (to
girls) lie in his statement: "And shows mercy to them." What is the
real nature of mercy? What is intended by it?
The first thing that occurs to the mind is its apparent and general
meaning; to show mercy to themis to sympathize and show pity for them,
not to beat them, and everything else included in the meaning of
mercy, which are, no doubt, true. However, the real mercy one should
show girls lies in two things:
First: to show mercy to them by earnestly seeking and seriously
working to keep them away fromthe Wretched Settlement that is the
Fire. That is to bring them up on the rituals of Islam, the
establishment of prayers, adherence to Hijaab and the maintenance of
their chastity: {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your
families froma Fire whose fuel is people and stones.} [Quran 66:6]
The man who shows sympathy towards his daughters, pampers them and is
spiritually and materially kind to them, and, at the same time does
not command them to perform prayers, to observe fast or to adhere to
Hijaab, is in fact a tyrant and plain enemy of them, for he is not
sincere in advising them, and he does not help themand keep them away
from the Fire of Hell.
That is the real mercy, O companyof believers. The Prophet said: "My
parable in relation to that of my Ummah (nation) is like a man who
kindled a fire and when it lit all around him, moths and insects
started falling into the fire. I am there to catch hold of you (in
order to save you) from the fire. But you plunge into it and overpower
my efforts."
This is only one of many forms with which Allaah The Almighty honored
the woman and raised her esteem. Which honor and high esteem are
better than exhorting men to enter Paradise and be gathered in the
company of the Prophet and kept awayfrom the Fire of Hell, if they are
kind to the girls in their care, look after their affairs and take
care of them perfectly?
So, fear Allaah, O slave-girl of Allaah, and be proud of that honor,
and remember that the final statement of the Prophet before he left
this world was: "And I advise you to be kind and good to women."
Thus, he commanded and advised us to be good and kind to you, O woman.
So, be a good helper to your guardians to achieve that great task, and
bear in mind that your honor and glory lie in your adherence to your
religion. And, O men, be good and kind to your girls – your daughters
and sisters, and be aware of the fact that this great reward you have
been told about is qualified by these heavy qualifications, which are
easy for the person on whom Allaah The Almighty makes it easy, and
within the capacity of him who strives his utmost and is eager todo
them.
And Allaah is the guardian of success. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
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The Virtue of Nurturing Girls - I

This article in its two parts, Allaah willing, will be about a
righteous good deed, and whoever performs it perfectly, according to
its required conditions, will attain three things:
First : he will be veiled from Hell and never enter it.
Second : on the Day of the Greatest Terror, (i.e. the Day of
Judgment), he will be gathered inthe company of the Prophet .
Third : Paradise will be guaranteed for him, where he will be in the
company of the Prophet .
What an excellent and great reward this is! This great reward, O
believers, requires that certain conditions be fulfilled perfectly.
What is this deed and what are its conditions?
I say, seeking the help of Allaah The Exalted, that it is to take
careof girls, being in charge of them and looking after their affairs
andinterests. That is the position of our religion with the woman whom
it honors, maintains, and guards; it encourages men to enter Paradise
and receive great rewards should they take care of her and guard her.
How great the favors of Allaah The Almighty are on the daughters of
Eve and how sad that some people show ingratitude and deny them!
The Prophet said in an authentic Hadeeth on the authority of the
Mother of the Believers 'Aa'ishah : "Whichever (people) are tried by
any of them (girls), and he treats them kindly, they will screen him
from the fire (of Hell)." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
He further said: "Whoever has three girls and is patient with them and
clothes them from what he has, they will veil him from the fire (of
Hell)."
That is the first reward that you, O slave of Allaah, would receive
for that work, which is to be screened and veiled from the fire of
Hell, and whoever is drawn away from the fire and admitted to Paradise
has indeed attained his desire.
May Allaah make us all among those who attain that reward!
Concerning the second reward, which is to be gathered in the company
of the Prophet it was narrated on the authority of Anas that he said,
"The Messenger of Allaah said: 'Whoever looks after two girls until
they attain the age of maturity, would come on the Dayof Judgment with
me and him being (as close to each other) as these (and he joined his
fingers).'" [Muslim]
As for the third reward, then consider the following texts:
It was narrated on the authority of Jaabir that the Prophet said:
"'Whoever has three daughters whom he gives refuge to, provides for
and shows mercyto, Paradise is certainly guaranteed for him." A man
asked, "And (for) two, O Messenger of Allaah?" He replied: "And also
(for the one who has) two (daughters)." [Ahmad] [Al-Bukhaari in
Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]
It was narrated on the authority of Abu Sa'eed that the Prophet said:
"No one has three or two daughters or sisters, and he fears Allaah
regarding them and is kind to them, except that he will enter
Paradise."
It was narrated on the authority of Anas that he said, "The Messenger
of Allaah said: 'Whoever has two daughters or sisters to whom he is
kind as long as they are with him, he andI will be in Paradise (as
close to each other) as these (and then heput two of his fingers
together).'"
What a great reward this is! And, what an excellent position this is!
However, such great rewards have heavy qualifications and various
objectives that must be realized by great striving and patience.
What are these conditions and restrictions?
All the conditions are included in his (the Prophet's ) saying: "And
he is kind to them."
To be kind to girls in such a way as to befit the Sharee'ah is the
all-inclusive condition and the greatest qualification. The narrations
previously mentioned came to explicate and clarify in detail this
general reference. The Prophet said: "…Whom he gives refuge to,
provides for and shows mercy to."
Al-Haafith said, "All these terms are included under the term "Ihsaan"
(to be kind)."
What is the meaning of giving refuge to them? What is intendedby
providing for them? And, how should we show mercy to them?
Giving refuge has three facets:
First: Giving her refuge with a good righteous mother, to be an
example for her to follow. The first stage of giving refuge to girls
is to keep them with a righteous pious chaste mother tomaintain and
guard them. Have you not heard the advice of the Prophet : "Then,
succeed (by choosing) the religious woman lest you would lose (good)"?
Second: Giving her refuge in her boudoir, inside her house, which is
to teach her to abide in her house and not to come out unless there is
a necessity, an urgent need or an act of worship.In other words: "To
attend the goodness and supplications of Muslims."
That is the significance of the statement of Allaah The Almighty(which
means): {And abide in your houses.} [Quran 33:33]
Allaah The Almighty commands women to abide in their houses, for it is
more suitable to screen them and guard their lives.
(To be continued) - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
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Controlling Anger: An Essential Skill for Educators - II

Keep your energy for construction not destruction:
If a person does not control himself in critical situations and
surrenders to the dictates of anger and strong agitation, he will find
himself consuming an enormous quantity of his inner energy, which is
supposed to be exploited in the process of construction, education,
teaching, constructive dialogue, developing the skills of the children
and enjoying a quiet everyday life. This kind of life is full of
worshiping Allaah The Almighty, reciting the Quran, good companionship
inside the family, helping people and even removing harmful objects
from the road.
Come and take the following steps towards anger management:
- Always remind yourself that uncontrollable anger is one of the
features of weakness in the upbringing process, whereas curbing and
managing anger as well as acting fairly with the children while in
this state, represents the apex of the strength and positivity of the
person who assumes the upbringing process and it is a meritorious
quality distinguishing the righteous slaves of Allaah The Almighty. It
was narrated on the authority of Ibn 'Umar that the Prophet said:
"There is no dose that is more rewarded by Allaah The Almighty than a
dose of anger that a slave restrains for His sake." [Ibn Maajah]
[Al-Albaani: Saheeh]
- At the moment of anger when you feel that an ember is burninginside
you, start counting from one to ten before uttering any word and ask
yourself this question, "What should I say nowto make my child benefit
from this situation?"
- Review the situation that sparked your anger because of your child
and rethink the motives behind such acts. For instance, your child
spilled a cup of milk on his clothes during breakfast because he was
trying to be independent and he did notintend to annoy you. Your
agitation in this situation prevents him from trying to do this again
successfully.
- Express what you feel to your child while you are angry and address
him with strong words that take him to a higher level of behavior,
which you were expecting of him. An angry father, for example, may
say,"Son, I was angry about your misbehavior yesterday when you came
home late. I was expecting you to be aware of the proper time when you
should return home which I previously set for you."
- Use the method of neglect and temporary desertion. You might not
talk with your child for long hours or answer his questions with
lengthy speech. Show no concern for him till the blaze of anger dies
down, taking into account the level of strictness in doing so. Surely,
you will realize that this method is very fruitful inguiding the child
compared to the other methods that you might resort to when you are
angry.
- Remember that lowering your voice while talking to children helps
you feel less angry and demonstrates your ability to control yourself
and control them. If the child sees that you have lost control of your
temper, this portrays you as a weak person, and he will imitate your
weakness or take advantage of it.
- You can use written messages to express your refusal of some of your
children's requests or behavior. This is an efficient way that can be
used with all people; like spouses, friends and children.That is
because we think more wisely, analytically, and rationally when we
write than when we improvise decisions, judgments and reprimands.
Also, agitation cannot be conveyed through writing as clearly as
through speaking. By doing so, you will certainly notice that the
intensity of our anger and the anger of ourchildren will decrease.
- Seek the help of Allaah The Almighty in carrying out your decisions
and always remember the advice of the Prophet "Do not get angry." Use
the methods that the Prophet instructed us to do in order to resist
anger, such as making ablution, taking abath, changing one's position
from standing to sitting and from sitting to lying down, and
frequently seeking refuge with Allaah The Almighty from the accursed
Satan.
Finally, whoever is assuming the upbringing process, remember the following:
Successful management of one's agitation and anger is real strength.
The Prophet taught us, saying: "A strong person is not the one who
overpowers others; rather, a strong person is the one who controls
himself at the time of anger." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
It also means caring for others, looking for right solutions to change
the children's unacceptable behavior, and determination to succeed in
your upbringing duty without severingthe strong bonds which connect
you together.
Raging anger remains a negative and destructive force in which the
child's response comes out artificial and temporary because it
occurred due to fear or the desire to assuage anger and its
consequences. It does not change the reality of the child for the
better, but often aggravates it.
Now, start immediately and decide that: "From now on, therewill be no
more violence or angerwith our children – Allaah willing." - -
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