Family, - He used to keep himself busy serving his family - II

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It is narrated on the authority of As-Siddeeqah )‘Aa’ishah(, daughter of As-Siddeeq )Abu Bakr(, may Allah be pleased with them, the wife of the best of creation, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, that she said, describing his conduct in his house, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family.” ]Al-Bukhaari[ “He, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to sew his garments, stitch his sandals, and do all things that men do in their homes.” ]Al-Albaani: Saheeh[
It is narrated on the authority of Al-Aswad, may Allah have mercy upon him, that he said: I asked ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, about what the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to do at home, thereupon she said, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family, and once the prayer was due, he would come out for the prayer.” ]Al-Bukhaari[
It is narrated on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, that she was asked about what the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to do at home, thereupon she said, “He was a human being like other human beings. he used to take out lice from his garment, milk his sheep and serve himself.” ]Al-Albaani: Saheeh[
The Hadeeth )narration( indicates, if not exhorts men to serve their families. The noblest of creation used to sew his garment and stitch his sandals! So, why do you, my brother, not follow his example, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and join your wife in the service of the house, like washing the dishes and other chores, even if not on a regular basis? Whilst doing so, you should remember the statement of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, “The Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to keep himself busy serving his family.” That, to be sure, has the most impressive effect in increasing the ties of affection and mercy between the spouses.
Although he was the Prophet of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and the head of the Muslim state, he found the time to serve his household. What a great tutor he is!
If you are not doing so already, dear brother, I invite you to start sharing household duties with your wife, and please her, even with a little work in the house. Although she may not let you do so, she will surely appreciate your endeavor and this will increase her respect for you. Rather, she would hasten to do the work instead of you but with great happiness, and the feeling that all her tiredness is gone, after she learns that you appreciate her service in the house. With mere appreciation )of her service( and a little work, your happiness at home will become enduring and your leadership will be secure.
The husband’s role
The husband should co-operate with his wife at home through:
1- Personally helping his wife in the responsibilities of the house.
He should contribute towards the household chores with his wife as much as lies within his capacity. The Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to keep himself busy serving his family, and so did the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them. Since the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, practiced this, then, it becomes incumbent upon any other husband to act in accordance with his Sunnah )tradition(, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.
2- Reducing his demands and not blaming the wife for deficiency.
It is not considered good treatment if the husband makes too many demands on his wife in serving him and his household, neither should he take her to task harshly in case she falls short.
3- Determining the household responsibilities:
Have you told your husband that his helping you with the housework makes you love him more? Help with the housework can become a means to fulfill other emotional needs which the other party needs to be reminded of.
Before housework turns into a cause of dispute between the spouses, we suggest imposing the policy of shared agreement, and sitting together to solve the basic problems. What is required now is:
1- A quiet night and psychological readiness
2- Paper and a pen
3- Smiles and patience
In this atmosphere, each of the spouses should determine the tasks to be done by him/her. The housework may be divided into:
1- Tasks you like to do and do not need any help to do them.
2- Tasks you are satisfied with but need the help of the other party
3- Tasks you regard as the responsibility of the other party alone
4- Tasks of the other party in which you are willing to help.
Then, each party is required to show his/her agreement or disagreement on those items. In this way, the responsibilities are determined, and each party is held responsible for the tasks he/she has agreed to do.
In this way, both spouses can care for the feelings of each other, and bring happiness to one another. When a married couple holds a discussion, they should observe the following tips:
1- To be nice and pleasant during the discussion
2- To be calm, first of all, and stay away from belligerent behavior
3- A dead end does not mean that the discussion is over, but that it should be postponed to avoid a clash
4- To make sure to put yourself in the place of the other party.
You may also make a special list for the children of the chores they can do, so that they would learn how to bear their share of the responsibility for doing the housework.
In conclusion
Try to help your wife in some of the housework in order to make her feel that you care about her, and that you appreciate her efforts. Ask her to rest and not do any housework if she is tired, and do that work yourself instead of her. Of a surety, this increases the affection and mercy between you, keeps the river of love flowing, and raises your share in her bank of love.
Your little bit of work at home is like salt in the food. So, share in the housework even if it is just a little, out of appreciation and acknowledgement of the great service your wife does for you, perchance you would spur her to work willingly and relentlessly, and her body and soul will be at your disposal without complaint.









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Dought & clear, - Her husband’s family told her that he had divorced her butshe did not hear that from her husband, and hedid not write any divorce paper for her

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Before our marriage, my husband was involved with another married women, because of her, he divorced me, he didnt announce divorce to me, neither send me divorce deed, but his family said he has divorced me,they are still not providing the divorce paper, am i still in his nikah, or an irrevocable divorce has taken place in my situation.
Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
If the husband says to someone else, “Tell my wife that she is divorced,” then divorce takes place as soon as he says that. It says inal-Mabsootby as-Sarkhasi (6/141): If he says to someone else, “Tell my wife that she is divorced,” then she is divorced whether he tells her about that or not. End quote.
Inal-Muheet al-Burhaani fi’l-Fiqh an-Nu‘maani(3/210) it says: If he says to another man, “Tell my wife she is divorced,” then she is divorced as soon as he says that, whether the other man tells her or not. End quote.
Inal-Mudawwanah(2/78) it says: What do you think if a man says to another man, “Tell my wife she is divorced”; when does the divorce take place? Is it on the day he tells her or on the day he told him to tell her? He said: According to the view of Maalik, the divorce takes place on the day he told him to tell her. I said: What if he does not tell her? He said: The divorce still counts as such according to the view of Maalik, even if he did not tell her, because Maalik said, concerning a man who sent an envoy to his wife to tell her that he had divorced her, but the envoy withheld that news: It does not matter; the divorce is still binding. End quote.
Secondly:
With regard to the wife, if two men of good character told her that her husband had divorced her, then she must observe ‘iddah on the basis of their testimony. If they told her that he had issued a first or second talaaq (divorce), then she must count that among the number of divorces. If they told her that he had issued a third (and final) talaaq, then she must keep away from him and leave him.
As-Sarkhasi al-Hanafi said: If two men of good character testify in a woman’s presence that her husband has divorced three times, and he denies that, then they die or disappear before they can give testimony to that effect before the judge, then the woman cannot stay with him, and it is the same as if she had heard him divorce her three times, because if they had given this testimony before the judge, he would have ruled that she is forbidden him. The same applies if they gave that testimony in her presence.
End quote fromal-Mabsoot(10/183).
Inal-Bahr ar-Raa’iqby Ibn Nujaym al-Hanafi (4/141) it says: If two men testify in her presence that he (the husband) divorced her, then she has no right to let him be intimate with her, but if only one person tells her that, then she has no right to refuse intimacy. End quote.
In the same book (4/141) it also says: … If a woman is informed of divorce by two men of good character, it is forbidden for her to let him be intimate with her; their testimony alone is sufficient, with no need for a court ruling. End quote.
Some of the fuqaha’ are of the view that if one man of good character tells her that, she should observe ‘iddah on the basis of what he says, unlike the case if the one who tells her is not of good character. It says inQurrat ‘Ayn al-Akhyaar liTakmilat Radd al-Muhtaar(7/511): If a man of good character tells her that her husband has died or has divorced her thrice, then she may remarry. But if an individual of bad character tells her that, she should double check. End quote.
But what appears to be the case is that these fuqaha’ were speaking of such news being brought by one trustworthy individual on his own in the case of the husband’s absence. It says inal-Fataawa al-Hindiyyah(5/312): If a man is absent from his wife, then a Muslim of good character comes to her and tells her that her husband has divorced her thrice or has died, then she may observe ‘iddah and marry someone else. But if the one who tells her that is not of good character, then she should double check. End quote.
Inal-Mabsootahby as-Sarkhasi (10/179) it says: Based on that, if a woman’s husband is absent and a trustworthy Muslim tells her that her husband has divorced her thrice or has died, or if he is not trustworthy but he brings her a letter from her husband telling her that she is divorced, and she does not know whether he wrote it or not, but she thinks it most likely that it is true, then there is nothing wrong with her observing ‘iddah and remarrying. End quote.
Whatever the case, you can check with your husband about something that his family told you of. If the husband confirms that the divorce has indeed taken place, then you will be certain and your doubt will be dispelled. If the husband denies it and the one who told you is of good character, then in that case you have to refer the matter to the Islamic judge (qaadi) to decide about this difference. It should be noted that divorce does not become finally irrevocable except in the case of the third talaaq; in the case of the first and second talaaq, it is still revocable. Before consummation of the marriage and being truly alone with the husband, any talaaq is revocable; it is also revocable if the husband issues a revocable divorce and the ‘iddah comes to an end without him having taken her back.And Allah knows best.









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Dought & clear, - He imitated the voice of the mu’adhdhin during Ramadan and his family broke their fast early, then he regretted it; what should he do?

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last year during Ramadan I did a big mistake by trying to call adhan close to iftar time(like a joke)at home not in a masjid and unfortunately my mother and uncle both broke their fast by eating little before I informed them ,sincerely I regreted it but, I want to know whether I am to fast 60-60 for both if yes can I live the other 60 till after the next ramadhan? The reason I delayed asking was that I wanted a reliable and authentic source though I ask one great imam in a lecture but he responded to the question the day I didnt attend the lectures and neither of my colleagues heard the response.May Allah(SWT) continue help you with this great gigantic task!
Praise be to Allah
You did wrong by imitating the voice of the mu’adhdhin at the time when the people were waiting for the adhaan in order to break the fast; you should have respected the importance of accuracy in timing for those who were fasting.
If you did that with no intention of disrespect towards the adhaan or the fast, and with no intention of deceiving those who were fasting, then you do not have to do anything. But you do have to learn a lesson from that, which is how to act appropriately in different situations, and that there is a time for seriousness, at which it is not appropriate to engage in any kind of play or fooling about.
But if you did that to deceive them, so that they would break their fast (at the wrong time), then you have to repent, seek forgiveness for what you did and regret your actions. However, you do not have to offer expiation, whether that is by fasting two consecutive months or otherwise.
With regard to your mother and maternal aunt, there is no sin on them, because they broke the fast thinking that the time for Maghrib had begun.
But do they have to make up that day or not? There is a difference of scholarly opinion concerning that; the majority are of the view that that day must be made up.
However some of the scholars favoured the view that it does not have to be made up and the basic principle is that the duty has been fulfilled and there is nothing in Islam to suggest that it must be made up in such cases, even though something similar happened at the time of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
This is the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, and is also the view of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him).
However, if a person wants to be on the safe side with regard to his worship and to avoid an area of considerable scholarly difference of opinion, and he makes up that day, this is better, especially as making up one day is something easy, and is not usually difficult for people.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If a person drinks, thinking that the sun has set, then the sun appears, then he should make up that day according to the view that is regarded as correct by the majority of scholars, and this is more on the safe side. Some of the scholars do not think that it has to be made up, because he is excused as he did not do that deliberately. However, the view that is more likely to be correct is that it should be made up.
End quote from Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb by Ibn Baaz (Shuway‘ir compilation, 16/267
And Allah knows best.








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