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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Women site, - Severity and Violence Lead to Remorse

























In a Hadeeth on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, it was mentioned that some Jews came to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said, “As-Saamu 'Alaykum ]death be on you[.” ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, therefore said )to them(, “]Death[ be upon you, and may Allaah curse you and inflict His wrath upon you.” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“O 'Aa’ishah! Be calm. You should be kind and lenient, and beware of severity and bad words.”She said, “Did you not you hear what they said?” He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied:“And did you hear what I said ]to them[? I said the same to them, and my supplication against them will be accepted while theirs against me will be rejected.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
This is how the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, taught us to avoid severity and resort to easygoingness in all matters; he said:“Leniency adorns anything that contains it, while anything that it is void of is distorted.”
The Meaning of Severity
Leniency means moderateness and kindness while severity is the absence of these qualities in dealing with any matter. In other words, it is extremism and exaggeration that are accompanied by stiffness and rudeness when dealing with others, even if they have behaved impolitely.
Treating people severely creates a desire for retaliation when there is a chance to do so, while kindness reconciles the hearts and makes people obedient.
Deprived of Goodness
The one deprived of leniency and who lives among people and treats them violently would be deprived of goodness, as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The one who is deprived of leniency would be deprived of all goodness.”
Severity is a disgraceful and evil phenomenon that leads to the spreading of grudges and enmities among people. It creates a desire for challenging others and stubbornness that in turn leads to disobeying orders and directives, even if they are good. Severity in attempting to fix any mechanism leads to its breakage, while severity when facing calamities destroys one’s power and energy.
Violence, Severity and the Mass Media
Many studies and seminars have tackled the effects of violence and severity propagated by the mass media on the behavior of its audience, especially youngsters.
Unfortunately, many of the programs and series that are broadcast today represent the oppression that people suffer at others’ hands, beginning from snubbing, neglecting and ridiculing them up to hitting, cursing, or even committing crimes against them such as assault or murder. This, undoubtedly, affects young people and this effect appears later on in life, as some studies have revealed.
Violence and Severity with Servants and the Weak
An aspect of violence that people see in some communities is that practiced against servants and other weak people, in addition to despising them and burdening them with unbearable hard work, some people may even hit them and abuse them physically and mentally. This is something that should not, for any reason, be spread in Muslim communities. Here is an incident that took place at the time of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:
Abu Mas‘ood Al-Badri, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “Once, I was beating my slave with a whip when I heard a voice behind me saying,‘O Abu Mas‘ood, you ought to know.’I did not recognize the voice because of my severe anger. When he ]who had spoken[ approached me, I found that it was the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and he was saying:‘O Abu Mas‘ood, you ought to know that Allaah has more dominance over you than you have over your slave.’I ]then[ said, ‘I would never ever beat a servant again in future.’” The wording of another narration of this incident reads, “Abu Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, said ‘He is free for the Sake of Allaah.’ The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said,‘If you had not have done that, you would have been burnt by the Fire.’”
Violence and Severity Against Women
Statistics show that violence against women has become a widespread phenomenon in western countries, which may be due to the corruption and deviation of the methods of upbringing there. There is no doubt that our societies are not free from such strange cases where women and children are exposed to violence. In spite of the fact that these cases are limited in our societies, we should remind people that this is something that is despicable and contradicts the Islamic Sharee‘ah and its moral system.
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“I forbid the ]usurping of the[ right of two weak people: orphans and women.”When the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was informed that some men hit their wives, he said:“They are not the best among you.”
If women or children needed to be reformed, physical punishment should be the last resort. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Men are in charge of women by ]right of[ what Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend ]for maintenance[ from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in ]the husband's[ absence what Allaah would have them guard. But those ]wives[ from whom you fear arrogance - ]first[ advise them; ]then if they persist[, forsake them in bed; and ]finally[, strike them gently. But if they obey you ]once more[, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Exalted and Grand.{]Quran 4:34[
Even if it reaches this extent, the Sharee‘ah rules that guarantee the safety of the soul and the body and that allow no harm to be done should be observed.
Violence with Animals
Some people who have a corrupt disposition find pleasure in tormenting animals and use violence against them. Islam forbids this. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, once entered an orchard that was owned by one of the Ansaar and found a camel in it. When the camel saw the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, it shed tears, so the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, wiped his tears and asked about his owner. A man from the Ansaar said that it was his, so the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to him:“Will not you fear Allaah with regards to the animal that He has granted you? It complained to me that you keep it hungry and exhaust it.”
In conclusion, it has to be remembered that the lenient person gains safety, while violence and severity only leads to remorse.
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Women site, - Hidden Power in the PureDisposition – I






















We face a huge challenge when we bring up our children, that is, we are not alone in bringing them up but the whole society contributes to the process. Television, school, friends and the internet are all contributing to the upbringing process, particularly after the globe has become like a small village after the gigantic development in mass media and the fact that cultures can easily move from one place to another. This poses a huge challenge to the upbringing of our children. How shall we protect them from the other stormy trends of upbringing that are broadcast by the mass media and which spread by means of the street, school and clubs, from one to the other? Allaah The Almighty favored us by a power which helps us in the process of upbringing – it is a hidden power that no body knows except the one who appreciates it. It is, indeed, a gift from Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds.
This hidden power is the pure disposition that Allaah The Almighty created in mankind. No matter how man changes, this hidden power calls him to take him back to the path of truth. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. ]Adhere to[ the Fitrah of Allaah upon which He has created ]all[ people. No change should there be in the creation of Allaah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.{]Quran 30:30[ The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"Every human is born on Fitrah )sound innate inclination to the truth(."Ash-Shawkaani, may Allaah have mercy upon him, commented, "Every child is born with an inclination to the true religion, so if he adheres to another religion, this would be due to an external factor that happened to him after birth. The factors might be changes on the part of his parents or those responsible for raising him." Therefore, people assuming the upbringing process must be certain that any changes in the child's innate disposition are due to those who bring him up. That is because the child is like the whitest blank paper. Dr. ‘Abdullaah Naasih ‘Ulwaan says,
Educationists and moralists believe that the child is born with the natural inclination to Tawheed )Islamic monotheism( and faith in Allaah The Almighty, and with the origin of purity and innocence. Thus, when he is given a conscious upbringing at home, righteous social companionship and a faith-boosting educational environment, he will grow with firm faith, virtuous morals and a righteous upbringing. This faith-based fact was confirmed by the Quran and the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and was proved evident by educationists and moralists.
Sayyid Qutb, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, "Thus, the Surah )Qur'anic chapter( links human nature with the nature of this religion. Both are made by Allaah The Almighty, in accordance with the law of existence; both are mutually harmonious in their natures and objectives. Human nature is set on a firm basis, and so is the divine religion. When people deviate from the proper path of nature, only divine religion turns them back to it, since it is in full harmony with both the human and universal nature.
Pure disposition is a divine gift
This innate belief is a gift from Allaah The Almighty which helps and supports you in raising your child. It also serves as an internal call which permanently echoes in the heart of every Muslim, urging him to return to the path of truth. This call, no matter how distant man is from and disobedient to his Lord Allaah, keeps echoing loudly within his body and stimulates his reproaching soul, calling him, "Turn back to Allaah The Almighty."
Dear parent, or anyone assuming the responsibility of the upbringing process, you have an irresistible power called "the call of Fitrah )innate belief(" which:
- constitutes the inner call inside every person to do good and avoid evil
- stimulates man's reproaching soul when he does something evil
- stirs the inner feeling that death and resurrection are inevitable
- awakens man's conscience
Since Allaah The Almighty supported you with this power, your duty is only to provide a good role model and accustom your child to righteousness. By doing so, you are playing the greatest role in shaping, preparing and raising your child successfully. It is a trust you carry on your shoulders and you have to meet Allaah The Almighty successful in fulfilling it on the Day of Resurrection.
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, utilized the Companions' Fitrah
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, perfectly utilized the power of Fitrah with his noble Companions, may Allaah be pleased with them. He made it a basis for raising them on the immortal meanings of Islam. A very clear example is Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq, may Allaah be pleased with him, who is the most trustworthy man in this Ummah )nation(. The calls of the innate belief were blowing in his heart since an early age, implying, "These idols can neither bring about benefit nor inflict harm, and that Allaah The Almighty is One and the only Deity worthy of worship." Yet, he needed to see the role model that affirmed, venerated and strengthened this innate belief. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the best role model for him, and Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, was the first man to embrace Islam without hesitation. The reason was his innate belief.
Listen to Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, talking about his childhood and how his innate belief barred him from worshiping idols. In a group of the Companions of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam,, Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, "I have never prostrated to an idol. When I became mature, Abu Quhaafah took me by hand and went to a site where idols were set up. He said to me, "These are your high and lofty gods," then he left me alone. I drew near to an idol and said: "I am hungry, feed me," but it did not reply. I said: "I am naked, clothe me," but it did not reply. So, I threw a stone at its face, and it collapsed."
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, utilized this innate belief that was firmly inculcated in the heart of Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, to introduce to Islam the most trustworthy man in this Ummah, his companion in the cave and his first successor.



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Women site, - Hidden Power in the PureDisposition - II



















See how the pure disposition was a strong reason for the guidance of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq, may Allaah be pleased with him. Also, look at ‘Abdullaah ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, whose pure disposition prevented him from giving the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, some of the milk entrusted to him. He told the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, "I am a trusted boy." Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,
I was herding sheep for ‘Uqbah ibn Abu Mu‘ayt, and one day the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and Abu Bakr passed by me. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"O boy, do you have some milk for us to drink?"I said, "Yes, but I am entrusted to look after it." He said:"Do you have a ewe that has not been copulated by a ram )i.e. does not produce milk(?"I brought him a ewe and when he rubbed its udder, it produced milk. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, milked it and let Abu Bakr drink, then he said to the udder:"Shrink )i.e. stop producing milk(”, and it stopped. I said, "O Messenger of Allaah, teach me the like of what you said." He wiped my head and said:"May Allaah have mercy upon you! You are a knowledgeable boy."]Ibn Hibbaan[
In another narration, Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, said,
I went to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said, "Teach me these good words." He said:"You are a knowledgeable boy."Later on, I learned from the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, himself seventy Surahs that no body disputes with me on." ]Ahmad[ ]Al-Albaani: Saheeh[
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, took advantage of the pure innate belief of ‘Abdullaah ibn Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, who later became the best man from whom the Quran was learnt, and the man who brought the head of Abu Jahl the pharaoh of this Ummah )nation( to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.
Thus, a child is a very white blank paper that you draw on with your own hands. You can utilize and invest this pure disposition in raising your child as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did or do the opposite. For that reason, Imaam Al-Ghazaali, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,
A child is a trust with his parents, and his pure heart is an intact jewel that has no inscriptions or drawings. The child's heart is susceptible to every inscription and is inclined to whatever is offered to it. If he gets used to and is taught goodness, he will grow on goodness and his parents, teachers and those who brought him up will be happy in this life and in the Hereafter. If he gets used to evil and is left like animals, he will be miserable and doomed, and the sin will be burdened on his guardian and those put in his charge.
Absence of sound upbringing affects the Fitrah
Man's pure disposition is badly affected when it lacks the appropriate atmosphere which helps it to develop and benefit from its power and impact on the child's upbringing. The pure disposition may be distorted as a result of the corrupt environment in which the child lives, the parents' negligence, and the children's integration with the other ways of upbringing in the society.
This happens when the role model does not play his role at home as an important means of upbringing, and thus, matters take the opposite direction; what is right becomes wrong and what is wrong becomes right. Nevertheless, man's pure disposition does not completely die and it is not meant to die; it searches for a role model in another place and a sincere source for upbringing. Once it finds that role model and source, it returns to the right path.
Raising a single child on Islam, like raising one thousand children or all children, requires the presence of the Muslim household, the Muslim street, the Muslim school and the Muslim society. All these factors together have a far-reaching impact on raising children and shaping them in their own fashion. They raise the children either upon constantly observing Islam or on deviation. We cannot overlook the impact of the child's temperament as well as the new and old habits inherited from the parents and family on forming his personality since he was born to them and influenced by them before the house, the street, the school or the society affected and molded him.
Once a sound upbringing is absent or the upbringing and guidance are corrupt, deviations resulting from hereditary factors take root instead of being corrected; and aggravate instead of being improved. Hence, people presume that heredity is dominant and critical in shaping the child's personality. However, it is not like that. This presumption may only be correct when inherited habits are left without guidance, exactly as everything aggravates and exacerbates when it is left free. It is not because it is strongly and violently incorporated in his nature; rather, it is because nothing hinders or trims it, and thus, it continues its way.
Ivy has the most delicate branches because it is a climbing plant and cannot support itself. This plant must depend on something to climb and grow on. How does this plant look when it is fully grown, and climbs on and intertwines with other things? It blocks the way and you can hardly pass through its branches.






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