Women site, - Dispute and Arguments bring about Enmity

Share

In sessions, forums and dialogue, it is easy to observe people engaged in arguments, debate and disputes that may arouse discord and hostility. This is an evil and incurable characteristic that occupies many people.
Dispute is Part of Man's Nature
The Noble Quran clearly states that man is naturally argumentative, despite the evidence, arguments, proofs, clear signs and varied examples that he sees. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}And We have certainly diversified in this Quran for the people from every ]kind of[ example; but man has ever been, most of anything, ]prone to[ dispute.{]Quran 18:54[
Two Types of Dispute
Disputes are either disliked or laudable. They can be commendable when they are intended to show the truth, to direct others or to call them to it. This is what Allaah The Almighty ordered the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to adopt. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
}Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is Most Knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is ]rightly[ guided.{]Quran 16:125[
}And do not argue with the People of the Scripture except in a way that is best, except for those who commit injustice among them, and say, “We believe in that which has been revealed to us and revealed to you. And our God and your God is One; and we are Muslims ]in submission[ to Him.”{]Quran 29:46[
In this respect the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Struggle against disbelievers with your money, souls and tongues.”
‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with them, debated with the Khawaarij )an extreme sect in Islam( at the time of ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, may Allaah be pleased with him, in compliance with the latter's order. Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him and his father, informed and educated them beyond the excuse of ignorance and then renounced them. Consequently, many of them renounced their religious innovations. That was an example of a praiseworthy argument that helps to show the truth with corroborative evidence.
Another kind of dispute, which is the subject of our discussion, depends on falsehood, and it has many forms:
Dispute to Conceal the Truth
Dispute may be used to suppress the light of truth and to distract people from it. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
}And indeed do the devils inspire their allies ]among men[ to dispute with you. And if you were to obey them, indeed, you would be associators ]of others with Him[.{]Quran 6:121[
}They disputed by ]using[ falsehood to ]attempt to[ invalidate thereby the truth. So I seized them, and how ]terrible[ was My Penalty.{]Quran 40:5[
}And among them are those who listen to you, but We have placed over their hearts coverings, lest they understand it, and in their ears deafness. And if they should see every sign, they will not believe in it. Even when they come to you arguing with you, those who disbelieve say, “This is not but legends of the former peoples.”{]Quran 6:25[
Arrogance is the motivation behind this sort of dispute – the arrogance that prevents people from accepting the truth and acting upon it. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Indeed, those who dispute concerning the Signs of Allaah without ]any[ authority having come to them - there is not within their breasts except pride, ]the extent of[ which they cannot reach. So seek refuge in Allaah. Indeed, it is He who is The Hearing, The Seeing.{]Quran 40:56[
This sort of dispute destroys, misleads, blinds and makes those who practice it losers on the Day of Resurrection. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:
}And of the people is he who disputes about Allaah without knowledge and follows every rebellious devil. It has been decreed for every devil that whoever turns to him - he will misguide him and will lead him to the punishment of the Blaze.{]Quran 22:3-4[
}And of the people is he who disputes about Allaah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening book ]from Him[, twisting his neck ]in arrogance[ to mislead ]people[ from the way of Allaah. For him in the world is disgrace, and We will make him taste on the Day of Resurrection the punishment of the Burning Fire.{]Quran 22:8-9[
Dispute in Showing One's Merit and Belittling Others
This is a great evil that few people manage to avoid. It is the habit of many in their speaking as well as in their sessions and forums. This sort of dispute is aroused by a person’s feeling of superiority and intelligence, and his attempts to deprecate the opinions of others. This is a sign of deviation. The Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“No people have gone astray after the guidance they used to follow except because of their engagement in disputes.”Then he recited the verse )which means(:}They did not present the comparison except for ]mere[ argument. But, ]in fact[, they are a people prone to dispute.{]Quran 43:58[ ]Ibn Maajah, Al-Albaani - Hasan[
Allaah The Almighty does not like this kind of people. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The most hated person in the sight of Allaah is the most quarrelsome one.”]Al-Bukhaari[
People who build their arguments upon falsehood expose themselves to the wrath of Allaah The Exalted. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“If a person engages in a dispute based on falsehood while he knows that it is falsehood, he incurs the wrath of Allaah on himself until he stops.”]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Knowing that this sort of dispute is difficult for people to avoid, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, assured those who abandon it that they would thereby receive a magnificent reward; He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“I guarantee a palace on the outskirts of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling even if he is right.”]Abu Daawood, Al-Albaani - Hasan[
These people are in grave danger, and their attitude indicates deviation in their hearts. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}It is He who has sent down to you, ]O Muhammad[, the Book; in it are verses ]that are[ precise - they are the foundation of the Book - and others unspecific. As for those in whose hearts is deviation ]from truth[, they will follow that of it which is unspecific, seeking discord and seeking an interpretation ]suitable to them[. And no one knows its ]true[ interpretation except Allaah. But those firm in knowledge say, “We believe in it. All ]of it[ is from our Lord.” And no one will be reminded except those of understanding.{]Quran 2:7[ The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, read this verse and said to one of his wives:“O ‘Aa`ishah, when you see those who dispute concerning the Quran, be sure that they are whom Allaah intended here; so beware of them.”]Ibn Maajah, Al-Albaani - Saheeh[
Dispute Makes People Lose Out on Good
This sort of dispute causes the loss of good. ‘Ubaadah ibn As-Saamit, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, “The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, once came out to inform us about the ]date of the[ Night of Al-Qadr. However, a quarrel took place between two Muslim men. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:‘I had come out to inform you about ]the date of[ the Night of Al-Qadr, but due to the quarrel that occurred between so and so, its knowledge was taken away, and maybe this is better for you. Now, look for it in the seventh, the ninth and the fifth ]of the last ten nights of the month of Ramadan[.’”]Al-Bukhaari[
As it leads to the loss of good and mars acts of worship, such disputes were declared impermissible. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Pilgrimage is ]during[ well-known months, so whoever had made Pilgrimage obligatory upon himself therein ]by entering the state of Ihraam[, there is ]to be for him[ no sexual relations and no disobedience and no disputing during Pilgrimage.{]Quran 2:197[
With regards to fasting, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“When any one of you is fasting, he must not have sexual relations…”and the wording that is narrated by Sa‘eed ibn Mansoor, may Allaah have mercy upon him, reads:“…He must not dispute.”
This form of dispute causes grudges and enmity among people.
Disputing for Usurping the Rights of Others
The most evil form of all is disputing to usurp the rights of others. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“I am merely a human being, and you ]disputants[ come to me with your cases. Someone may present his case eloquently and in a more convincing way than another. I give my verdict according to what I hear. So if ever I judge ]by error[ and give the right of a brother to his other ]brother[, then he ]the latter[ should not take it, for I am giving him only a piece of the Fire.”]Al-Bukhaari[
A person from Hadhramawt and another from Kindah once came to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. The one who came from Hadhramawt said, “O Messenger of Allaah, this man has appropriated a land which belonged to my father.” The one who came from Kindah said, “The land is mine and it is in my possession. I cultivate it and he has no right to it.” The Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to the Hadhramite:“Do you have any evidence ]to support you[?”He replied in the negative. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“Your case is then to be decided by his oath.”The Hadhramite said, “O Messenger of Allaah, he is a liar and cares not what he swears and has no regard for anything.” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, remarked:“You have no right to demand anything from him except that ]which you stated[.”The man from Kindah then set out to take an oath. When he left the Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“If he has taken an oath on his property to consume it unjustly, he will certainly meet Allaah while He is turning away from ]i.e., shunning[ him.”]Al-Bukhaari[
The Righteous Predecessors Warned Against Dispute
As disputes that are based on falsehood or not based on evidence result in such previously-mentioned harms, the righteous warned against disputes and advised us to avoid them. The following are some reported citations in this regard.
Prophet Sulaymaan )Solomon(, may Allaah exalt his mention, said to one of his sons, “Avoid dispute, for it is of little benefit, and it stirs enmity among brothers.”
Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him and his father, said, “What a sinful action it is for you to be disputant.”
Al-Awzaa‘i, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “If Allaah The Almighty wants evil to befall some people, He keeps them in continuous dispute and makes them stop doing ]good deeds[.”
Muhammad ibn Husayn ibn ‘Ali, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “Dispute erases one's religion and implants enmity among people.”
‘Abdullaah ibn Al-Hasan ibn Al-Husayn, may Allaah have mercy upon him, was asked, “What do you think of dispute?” He replied, “It spoils old friendship and severs firm relations. It is at the very least a means of overpowering others in argument, which is the strongest cause for the severance of relations.”
Ash-Shaafi'i, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said, “Dispute in religion hardens hearts and causes grudges.”
In the past, it was said, “Do not dispute with either a forbearing or a foolish person - the former will overcome you and the latter will harm you.”
O Allaah, keep us away from dispute and the disputant, and help us to be upright, and do not let our hearts deviate after You have guided us.

PUBLISHER "M_NajimudeeN"

E-mail upload:
Send e-mail with your files on e-mail address: aydnajimudeen.d347@upload.wapka.mobi

Women site, - Severity and Violence Lead to Remorse

Share

In a Hadeeth on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, it was mentioned that some Jews came to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said, “As-Saamu 'Alaykum ]death be on you[.” ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, therefore said )to them(, “]Death[ be upon you, and may Allaah curse you and inflict His wrath upon you.” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“O 'Aa’ishah! Be calm. You should be kind and lenient, and beware of severity and bad words.”She said, “Did you not you hear what they said?” He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied:“And did you hear what I said ]to them[? I said the same to them, and my supplication against them will be accepted while theirs against me will be rejected.”]Al-Bukhaari and Muslim[
This is how the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, taught us to avoid severity and resort to easygoingness in all matters; he said:“Leniency adorns anything that contains it, while anything that it is void of is distorted.”
The Meaning of Severity
Leniency means moderateness and kindness while severity is the absence of these qualities in dealing with any matter. In other words, it is extremism and exaggeration that are accompanied by stiffness and rudeness when dealing with others, even if they have behaved impolitely.
Treating people severely creates a desire for retaliation when there is a chance to do so, while kindness reconciles the hearts and makes people obedient.
Deprived of Goodness
The one deprived of leniency and who lives among people and treats them violently would be deprived of goodness, as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“The one who is deprived of leniency would be deprived of all goodness.”
Severity is a disgraceful and evil phenomenon that leads to the spreading of grudges and enmities among people. It creates a desire for challenging others and stubbornness that in turn leads to disobeying orders and directives, even if they are good. Severity in attempting to fix any mechanism leads to its breakage, while severity when facing calamities destroys one’s power and energy.
Violence, Severity and the Mass Media
Many studies and seminars have tackled the effects of violence and severity propagated by the mass media on the behavior of its audience, especially youngsters.
Unfortunately, many of the programs and series that are broadcast today represent the oppression that people suffer at others’ hands, beginning from snubbing, neglecting and ridiculing them up to hitting, cursing, or even committing crimes against them such as assault or murder. This, undoubtedly, affects young people and this effect appears later on in life, as some studies have revealed.
Violence and Severity with Servants and the Weak
An aspect of violence that people see in some communities is that practiced against servants and other weak people, in addition to despising them and burdening them with unbearable hard work, some people may even hit them and abuse them physically and mentally. This is something that should not, for any reason, be spread in Muslim communities. Here is an incident that took place at the time of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:
Abu Mas‘ood Al-Badri, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “Once, I was beating my slave with a whip when I heard a voice behind me saying,‘O Abu Mas‘ood, you ought to know.’I did not recognize the voice because of my severe anger. When he ]who had spoken[ approached me, I found that it was the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and he was saying:‘O Abu Mas‘ood, you ought to know that Allaah has more dominance over you than you have over your slave.’I ]then[ said, ‘I would never ever beat a servant again in future.’” The wording of another narration of this incident reads, “Abu Mas‘ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, said ‘He is free for the Sake of Allaah.’ The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said,‘If you had not have done that, you would have been burnt by the Fire.’”
Violence and Severity Against Women
Statistics show that violence against women has become a widespread phenomenon in western countries, which may be due to the corruption and deviation of the methods of upbringing there. There is no doubt that our societies are not free from such strange cases where women and children are exposed to violence. In spite of the fact that these cases are limited in our societies, we should remind people that this is something that is despicable and contradicts the Islamic Sharee‘ah and its moral system.
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:“I forbid the ]usurping of the[ right of two weak people: orphans and women.”When the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was informed that some men hit their wives, he said:“They are not the best among you.”
If women or children needed to be reformed, physical punishment should be the last resort. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Men are in charge of women by ]right of[ what Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend ]for maintenance[ from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in ]the husband's[ absence what Allaah would have them guard. But those ]wives[ from whom you fear arrogance - ]first[ advise them; ]then if they persist[, forsake them in bed; and ]finally[, strike them gently. But if they obey you ]once more[, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Exalted and Grand.{]Quran 4:34[
Even if it reaches this extent, the Sharee‘ah rules that guarantee the safety of the soul and the body and that allow no harm to be done should be observed.
Violence with Animals
Some people who have a corrupt disposition find pleasure in tormenting animals and use violence against them. Islam forbids this. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, once entered an orchard that was owned by one of the Ansaar and found a camel in it. When the camel saw the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, it shed tears, so the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, wiped his tears and asked about his owner. A man from the Ansaar said that it was his, so the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to him:“Will not you fear Allaah with regards to the animal that He has granted you? It complained to me that you keep it hungry and exhaust it.”
In conclusion, it has to be remembered that the lenient person gains safety, while violence and severity only leads to remorse.

PUBLISHER "M_NajimudeeN"

E-mail upload:
Send e-mail with your files on e-mail address: aydnajimudeen.d347@upload.wapka.mobi

Dought & clear, - Should he stay in the disbelievers’ land in order to take care of hisson from his apostate ex-wife, or should he goback to his Muslim country?

Share

Previously I was married to a French woman who had become Muslim, and she gave me a son approximately 3 years ago, but one year ago this woman apostatised from Islam, and I repented to Allah and became religiously committed, and I started to look for a righteous wife who wears the niqab in Morocco, not France (with the intention of leaving the land of the disbelievers), where I currently live and my son lives with his mother. Then I found a girl in Morocco and I proposed to her (with the approval of my parents) on the basis that we would live in Morocco, and this girl agreed, but recently my mother pointed out to me that I should not leave my son on his own in France to be brought up by his mushrik mother and her Christian family, and that I should stay near him in France, to bring him up in an Islamic manner, and she does not agree with me going to Morocco.
My question is: what should I do? Should I be patient and stay near my son here in France, even though I no longer want to stay in the disbelievers’ land? If I do that, what about getting married? (Niqab is banned here and I cannot marry a woman who does not wear niqab). What about the girl I proposed to in Morocco? Can I suggest that she should come to France? What about her niqab? Or should I move to the Muslim land and make frequent visits to France in order to check on my son and how he is being brought up? (For example, I could open an import-export business which will allow me to visit France often) Or is there another solution by means of which I may please Allah?
Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
It is not permissible for you to leave your son to be easy prey for the disbelievers. You have to do your utmost to take him away from his mother and her country, so that he can live with you in your country. This is your right according to sharee‘ah, and he should follow you in your religion and be in your custody; that apostate woman has no right to him. If you can give them money to let the boy be with you, then do so; if you can refer the matter to their courts so that he can be in your custody, then do so. In all of these matters, you should consult Islamic centres whose staff you trust in that country, and consult trustworthy lawyers. If you can find a suitable way to take him and bring him to your country, then do so.
If your attempts to keep your son with you now do not succeed, but the law will allow you to have custody of him within a short period of time, then there is nothing wrong with staying there for the duration, so that you can be near him and in constant contact with him, until you are able to have custody of him. At the very least, you can frequently visit that country in order to see him and take care of him as much as you can, within time constraints. Perhaps your frequent visits will be a cause of his mother coming back to Islam and being saved from eternity in the Fire, and it may be a cause of your son bonding with you and loving Islam. At the same time you should do whatever you can to make sure that he is in a clean environment, whether in the place where he is living or in school. We know how difficult that is, but whoever fears Allah, may He be exalted, is sincere in his intention and does his utmost, there is the hope that the difficulties will be reduced for him and his good wishes will be fulfilled.
Secondly:
If your staying in France will increase the likelihood of your son being with you and keeping his religion, and that his apostate mother will not make him into a Christian or turn him away from your religion, then stay close to him until you are able to take custody of him, as mentioned above. If you think that there is no benefit in your staying there, and that you will never be able to take custody of him within a short period of time, then what we think is that you should move to your country Morocco, and start a new life there, but that is on condition that you can frequently visit the place where your son lives, as we mentioned above. Do not cut off your ties with him and keep in touch with him as much as you can.
And Allah knows best.

- PUBLISHED by"NajimudeeN_M-INDIA"

E-mail upload:
Send e-mail with your files on e-mail address: aydnajimudeen.d347@upload.wapka.mobi