Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * How should he tell her that he wants to marry her?

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I was recently informed of this site, ma'shallah. What is the correct way to approach a sister whom you intend to marry ? I've known this sister my entire life, in the same regard as my own blood sister and recently it was brought to my attention that she would be a perfect candidate for marriage. I believe she respects me, but I am unsure if she can accept me as her spouse. How can I know ? And what is the correct, halal way to approach ? I have nothing but the best intentions, yet my entire life I always felt I would marry her, yet out of respect I have never approached. My father and aunt (my mother has passed, allah yarham ha) are very fond of her and encourage me to pursue her, since they know her and her family extremly well.
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Praise be to Allaah.
If a man feels that his heart is inclined towards a particular woman, he should follow the way that is permitted in Islam, which is marriage. If a person intends to marry a woman, he has to propose marriage to her through her wali (guardian), who is her father if he is alive, or one of her other close relatives. It is not permissible for a man to propose marriage to a woman who is not his mahram through ways that are not permissible according to sharee’ah, such as getting to know her or meeting her frequently or getting in touch with her often and speaking on the phone; these are means through which Iblees causes people to sin and which lead to regrettable consequences. It is not permissible for a person to justify his relationship with a girl by saying that she is like his sister and other silly excuses. You have to follow the proper channels as prescribed in Islam to marry this woman. When you propose marriage, it is o.k. if you try to win her over by giving her a gift through her wali. We ask Allaah to give us and you strength and to keep us away from haraam things. And Allaah is the Source of strength.
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Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid






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Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * Marrying someone who is infected with and is a carrier of hepatitis B

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What is the Islamic ruling on marrying someone who has hepatitis B, knowing that this disease is transmitted sexually and through the blood, and may also be transmitted via saliva (although there is no medical consensus on the latter)? The question here is about a man who has the virus but his liver is healthy, i.e., he is a carrier of the virus only, which means that the virus is hidden in some tissues such as the liver and it is not multiplying, but the possibility that it may revive and become active remains constant. The woman whom he wants to marry has been vaccinated against this disease previously, and the doctor says that there is no danger to her from the virus in this case, and Allaah knows best. If marriage is not forbidden in this case, we hope that you can advise the sick person as to how he should speak about this disease when he proposes marriage; for example, when exactly should he tell the woman and what should he say?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
The one who is a carrier of hepatitis B or has the disease may get married to a healthy woman or a woman who is infected with this disease, if she accepts that after he tells her about his situation.
It is not permissible for him to get married unless he tells her about his sickness, because concealing that is deceit which is haraam. If he conceals it, then his wife finds out about that, she has the right to annul the marriage.
It is well known medically that most people who get hepatitis B can resist it and expel it from the body, but there is a proportion of people, between five and 10%, whose bodies cannot get rid of it, so they become carriers of the disease, and in a small number the disease may develop into cirrhosis of the liver, cancer of the liver, liver failure or death. In addition to that, in 10% of those infected, the disease may become chronic and the person becomes a carrier of the virus and is able to spread the sickness to others.
The carrier of the virus usually does not have any signs or symptoms of sickness, as his liver enzymes appear normal, but he remains infected for a number of years or maybe for the rest of his life, and he is able to transmit the virus to others. Most carriers of the virus do not suffer from any real problems with hepatitis B. Although they have good health, a few of them may be more susceptible than others to chronic liver infection, cirrhosis and tumours of the liver. The tumours usually grow in people who have developed cirrhosis of the liver.
In order to prevent spread of this virus via carriers of the virus, it is essential to do the following:
1. He should not engage in sexual activity unless the other party has immunity or has had the necessary vaccinations against this virus; otherwise he must wear a condom.
2. He should not donate blood or plasma or any part of his body to others, or share razor blades, toothbrushes or nail clippers.
3. He should not swim in swimming pools if he has any wounds on his skin.
4. His family members should be tested and vaccinations should be given to those who are not carriers of the virus and who do not have any immunity.
End quote.
See the articleAmraad al-Kabd wa Zaraa’at al-Kabd, by Dr. Ibraaheem ibn Hamad al-Tareef.
As to how to tell the woman he wants to propose to do about that, he should explain the facts to her at the time of proposal, and tell her that he is healthy and well, but tests have shown the presence of this virus, and the doctor has told him that she will not be harmed because she has been vaccinated against it. If she agrees to marry him, then all well and good, and if she refuses and prefers to be safe and not take the risk, then she may do that.
And Allaah knows best.






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Supplication, Dought & clear, - * How can a person know whether finding things being made easy for him and having his prayers answered does not come under the heading of being led step-by-step to his ruin?

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I pray to Allah, may He be glorified, for many things, and I see answers to my prayers, but my heart says to me: This is from the Shaytaan, to make you get carried away and lead you step-by-step to your ruin, by making you feel reassured about your religious commitment!
How can I know that this is not because of the Shaytaan leading me step-by-step to my ruin? Does the Shaytaan have the power to make things easy for you so as to deceive you?
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Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
The believer always thinks positively of his Lord and negatively of his own self; nothing bad happens to him but he knows that what befell him only befell him as a result of his sin, and nothing good that he loves ever comes to him but he knows that it is by the grace and blessing of his Lord towards him, out of His kindness and generosity.
Secondly:
Supplication is of two types:
· supplication as an act of worship; the Muslim should constantly be in a state of worship and obedience towards his Lord;
· and the supplication of asking, which is asking Allah to bring benefit and ward off harm.
The supplication of worship is only for believers. As for the supplication of asking, it is for both believers and disbelievers, righteous and evildoers. Not everyone whose prayers are answered is one with whom Allah is pleased and loves, or is pleased with his deeds. This is in contrast to the supplication of worship, which can only be done with the help of Allah, may He be exalted, and is an indication of His love for that person.
Hence the answer to a prayer may be by way of leading a person, step-by-step, to his ruin, or it may be hastening his share of goodness, so that it is limited to him in this life only; or it may be by way of Allah showing His mercy to His slaves, or it may be an answer to the prayer of one who has been wronged, and so on. Or it may be because of a person’s righteousness and piety.
To sum up: supplication is one of the means of meeting one’s needs; in fact it is one of the greatest means. If the need is a worldly matter and the supplication is answered, then that is provision from Allah that he has attained by means of the supplication, just as work is also a means of attaining provision, getting married is a means of having children, and treating sickness is a means of healing. But being granted provision, and the hastening thereof, is not an indication that Allah loves the one to whom He granted that provision, just as a lack of response or withholding of provision is not an indication that Allah is angry with the one from whom he withheld it.
For more information and further clarification, please see the answers to questions no. 41114and 177561
Thirdly:
Giving and withholding, lowering and raising, wealth and poverty, health and sickness, and all that Allah decrees for His slave of provision, is all in the hands of Allah alone; He decrees it and sends it to whomever He wills of his slaves. None of His creation – neither the Shaytaan and his helpers, nor the angels, nor any created being – has the power to do any of that independently, and no one shares with Allah, may He be exalted, in the control of any of these matters. All of that is entirely in the hand of Allah. Having established that, this does not mean that people cannot be the means of any of the things mentioned above. As healing is only in the hand of Allah, the doctor is but the means; having a child is something granted by Allah, and the husband or wife is a means, and so on.
It was narrated and classed as saheeh by at-Tirmidhi (2516), from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “… Know that if the entire nation were to come together to benefit you with something, they would never benefit you except with something that Allah had decreed for you; and if they were to come together to harm you with something, they would never harm you except with something that Allah had decreed against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh at-Tirmidhi
Fourthly:
Leading someone step-by-step to ruin and allowing him to get carried away in sin is not an action of the Shaytaan at all, and he has nothing to do with it whatsoever. Nothing of that nature is attributed to him in the Book of Allah, or in the Sunnah of His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). He does not have the power to meet a person’s needs for the purpose of leading him step-by-step to ruin, nor does he have the power to withhold anything from him in order to lead him step-by-step to ruin. Allah, may He be exalted, has limited his stratagems to whispering and tempting people. As for control and disposing of people’s affairs, he has no such power at all.
Rather leading people step-by-step to their ruin is something that Allah, may He be exalted, does to whomever He wills of His slaves.
Imam at-Tabari (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The basic meaning of leading someone step-by-step to his ruin is when the one who is subject to that misinterprets the kindness of the one who does that to him, so that the one who is subject to that thinks that the one who is doing it to him is being very kind to him, until he finds himself in trouble.
End quote fromTafseer as-Sa‘di(13/287)
The individual should think more positively of Allah with regard to what He has bestowed upon him of blessings, but he should also pay attention to giving thanks for it, and combine that with fearing the plan of Allah. Thus in his journey to Allah he should combine fear and hope, love and apprehension.
Al-Marroodhi said: I said to Abu ‘Abdullah – i.e., Imam Ahmad: How many people there are who are praying for you.
I said: I fear that this is leading me step-by-step to my ruin. Why do I deserve all of that?
End quote fromTaareekh al-Islam(18/76)
Fifthly:
One of the greatest signs that give rise to fear of being led step-by-step byAllah to ruin and that Allah despises a person, is when Allah grants him provision when he is disobeying Him and turning away from Him.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Those who reject Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.), We shall gradually seize them with punishment in ways they perceive not”
[al-A‘raaf 7:182].
Al-Qurtubi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Ad-Dahhaak said: The more they disobey Us, the more blessings We bestow on them.
It was said to Dhu’n-Noon: What is most deceiving for a person?
He said: When he is given a life of ease with a lot of blessings …
It was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir, that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: If you see Allah giving someone what he likes of worldly gains despite his disobedience of Him, then this comes under the heading of leading him to ruin, step-by-step. Then the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) recited the words (interpretation of the meaning):
“So, when they forgot (the warning) with which they had been reminded, We opened to them the gates of every (pleasant) thing, until in the midst of their enjoyment in that which they were given, all of a sudden, We took them to punishment, and lo! They were plunged into destruction with deep regrets and sorrows”
[al-An‘aam 6:44].
Narrated by Imam Ahmad (17311); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inMishkaat al-Masaabeeh(no. 5201)
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said: A person may be tested with times of ease, such as abundant wealth, wives, children and so on, but he should never think that this is a sign that he is loved by Allah, if he is not obedient to Him. It may be that the one who is granted that is loved by Him, or he may be hated by Him. It depends. Being loved by Allah is not indicated by high status, numerous children, great wealth, high status and so on; rather the sign of being loved by Allah is righteous deeds, fear of Allah, turning to Him, and doing one’s duty towards Him. The more a person fears Allah, the dearer he is to Allah.
It was narrated from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he said: Allah grants worldly gain to those whom He loves and those whom He does not love, but He does not grant faith to anyone but those whom He loves.
Narrated by al-Haakim (94), He classed it as saheeh, and adh-Dhahabi agreed with him.
Whoever is granted religious commitment is dear to Allah, but whoever indulges in disbelief and sin, this is a sign that he is hated by Allah, according to his situation.
Moreover, it may be a test and a means of being led, step-by-step, to ruin. A person may be tested with blessings so that he gets carried away until he falls into evil, and ends up in a worse situation than before. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Those who reject Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.), We shall gradually seize them with punishment in ways they perceive not.
And I respite them; certainly My Plan is strong”
[al-A‘raaf 7:182-183].
Or people may be tested with sickness, illness and so on, not because Allah hates them, but in accordance with divine wisdom, so as to raise them in status and erase their sins.
End quote fromFataawa Ibn Baaz(7/147-148)
And Allah knows best.








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