Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * She gets marriage proposals but she is hesitant to accept

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Although I want to get married and have children, like all women, I am very hesitant to go ahead and do that. I have had offers, but I am worried that ifI agree to marry someone, he will turn out to be not of good character, and I do not know what will happen to me after that.
I hope that you can advise me about my problem.
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Praise be to Allaah.
What is prescribed for young people – both male and female – is to hasten to get married, following the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5065), Muslim (1400).
This will also protect their chastity and bring stability.
Our advice to you is to accept the one who is religiously committed and of good character, after praying for guidance (istikhaarah) and consulting others. That is because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him.” (al-Tirmidhi, 1084), from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Those who are religiously committed and of good character are not unknown; they have their characteristics and signs, such as adherence to the Sunnah, regularly offering prayers in congregation, keeping company with righteous people and keeping away from temptation and evil.
Beware of hesitating and refusing too much, because if one goes away today, you may not see another like him tomorrow, as the poet says:
I had made the most the most of the opportunities I had, I would have attained great things.
If a suitor comes to you, then pray istikhaarah first. You will find a description of istikhaarah in the answer to question no. 2217.
If there is any good for you in that, Allaah will make it easy for you, otherwise Allaah will divert it from you by His knowledge.
Then your family should try to find out about the suitor by asking those who know him, such as his neighbours, colleagues at work, and the imam of his mosque. If he is righteous, regularly offers prayers in congregation and treats others well, then accept his proposal and be resolved and do not hesitate. If there is good in that for you, then Allaah will make it easy for you, otherwise He will divert it from you
whether he is righteous, regularly offers prayers in congregation and treats others well.
It is also important to ask about the family of the suitor, for his mother may not be of good character, or there may be some deviance in his family which does not give hope for a decent life for you.
If Allaah sends you someone who appears to be of good character and is keen to follow his religion, and is serious about marriage and is qualified for it, then accept his proposal and be resolute and do not hesitate. As the poet Tarafah ibn al-‘Abd said:
If you have made a decision then be resolute, for hesitating makes any decision worthless.
We ask Allaah to guide you and make you steadfast.
And Allaah knows best.












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Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * He wants to get married but his sperm count is low; does he have to disclose that?

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There is a young man who has not got married yet, but he found out that he has varicose veins on his testes. He did a test of his sperm and the result was bad; his sperm count was two million per millilitre and the motility was very very weak. Then he had surgery on the varicose veins, and after three months he did another test on his sperm and found that the result was much improved, but he still needed treatment because the improvement may only last three to twelve months.
Now the number of sperm per millilitre is fourteen million, and the motility increased to approximately 10%.
Based on the explanation given by the doctors, it is essential to have a count of twenty million at least and motility of 50% at least, but the doctor who is treating him is optimistic about the final outcome, although the treatment will continue for another three months.
Now he wants to propose marriage. Should he tell the wife or not? Please note that the hope of improvement is there, in sha Allah.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Having a low sperm count and low sperm motility of the level mentioned is regarded as a fault which must be disclosed, and it is not permissible to conceal it, because of what it may lead to of not having children. Having children is one of the most important aims of marriage, so the wife has the right to have children just as the husband has the same right.
If a man gets married and is aware of this weakness, and cannot have children, that is more likely to put the wife off him and make her regard him as having deceived her.
Hence Ameer al-Mu’mineen ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allah be pleased with him) said to the one who married a woman but could not have children: “Tell her that you are sterile and give her the choice.” Quoted inZaad al-Ma‘aad, 5/183
It says inMasaa’il al-Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, narrated by Abu Ya‘qoob al-Kawsaj (no. 1282): I said: What about the man who marries a woman when he is sterile and cannot have children?
Ahmad said: I prefer the one who knows that about himself to disclose it; perhaps his wife wants to have children.
Ishaaq said the same as he said, because he cannot deceive her. End quote. Narrated by Ibn Qudaamah inal-Mughni(6/653).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and Ibn al-Qayyim favoured the view that sterility is regarded as a fault that constitutes grounds for annulment of the marriage, unlike the majority of scholars.
See:al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 30/268
See also the answers to questions no. 85101and 112455.
Based on that, this young man has to tell his fiancée, then if she accepts, that is up to her.
If he hopes that the situation will improve and the problem will be resolved within a short time as mentioned, then he may delay proposing marriage until that time.
We ask Allah to guide and help us and you.
And Allah knows best.











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Da'eef (weak) hadeeths, Dought & clear, - * Soundness of Hadeeth, “By hating the Arabs you would hate me”

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How sound is this hadeeth (prophetic narration)? It was narrated that Salman (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “O Salman, do not hate me and leave your religion.” I said: O Messenger of Allah, how could I hate you when Allah has guided me through you? He said: ‘By hating the Arabs, you would hate me.”.
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Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
The text of this hadeeth is as follows:
It was narrated that Salman (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“O Salman, do not hate me and give up your religion.”
I said: O Messenger of Allah, how can I hate you when Allah has guided us through you?
He said: “By hating the Arabs you would hate me.”
This hadeeth was narrated by al-Tirmidhi (no. 3927); al-Bazzar in his Musnad (2513); al-Tabarani in al-Mu’jam al-Kabeer (6/238); al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak (4/86); and others, via Abu Badr al-Shuja’ ibn al-Waleed, from Qaboos ibn Abi Zabyan, from his father, from Salman (may Allah be pleased with him).
This isnad (chain of transmission) is da’eef (weak) and has two faults:
1. Qaboos ibn Abi Zabyan. Ibn Ma’een said: his hadeeth is da’eef. Abu Hatim said: Reports narrated by him cannot be quoted as evidence. Al-Daraqutni and others classed him as weak. See: Tahdheeb al-Tahdheeb, 8/306.
2. The isnad is interrupted between Abu Zabyan – who is Husayn ibn Jundub – and Salman al-Farisi (may Allah be pleased with him). Al-Tirmidhi said, after narrating the hadeeth: I heard Muhammad ibn Isma’eel [meaning al-Bukhari] say: Abu Zabyan did not meet Salman; Salmaan died before ‘Ali. End quote. Ibn Abi Hatim said in al-Maraseel (50): I do not think that Husayn ibn Jundub heard it from Salman. See: Tahdheeb al-Tahdheeb, 2/380.
The hadeeth was also narrated by Abu Na’eem in Hilyat al-Awliya, 7/270, via Khalid ibn ‘Abd al-Rahman, from Mis’ar, from Abu Hashim al-Rummani from Zadan, from Salman.
This chain is da’eef jiddan (very weak) because of Khalid ibn ‘Abd al-Rahman ibn Khalid ibn Salamah al-Makhzoomi al-Makki, whose narration is worthless, and ‘Amr ibn al-Fallas accused him of fabricating hadeeth.
Hence al-Hafiz al-Mundhiri said in Ajwibah ‘ala Asilah fi’l-Jarh wa Ta’deel (p. 84): A munkar hadeeth (denounced narration). Al-Shaykh al-Albani (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Its isnad is da’eef. End quote. Al-Silsilah al-Da’eefah (no. 2029).
Thirdly:
The weakness of this hadeeth does not mean that there is no virtue in the Arabs. There are many hadeeths concerning this matter, a few of which are saheeh (authentic) and many of which are weak or fabricated.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Concerning this matter there are reports other than those which I have mentioned. Some of them are subject to further examination and some of them are fabricated. End quote.
Iqtida’ al-Sirat al-Mustaqeem, p.159
He also said, commenting on this hadeeth:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) described hating the Arabs as being a cause of leaving Islam, and he stated that hating them implies hating him.
Previously on our website we have spoken about the virtue of the Arabs and outlined the correct understanding of this issue.
And Allah knows best.












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