Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * Should the suitor be informed that the woman he wants to propose to has the problem of bedwetting?

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My sister is suffering from bedwetting since early age. Now she is 20 years old, and all members of family know about this problem. We have been searching for a she-doctor or even a he-doctor to help us. Now, a young man next to us told me, as her brother, about his desire to marry my sister. Since this moment, I am very sad, feeling depressed, thanks to Allah anyway, and I asked him to give me some time to think. What shall I say to my mother who is sick with blood pressure and diabetes or my father who is very old? Not to mention other family troubles, even me, I was in a bad psychological state. Afterwards, I met our neighbor again not knowing what to tell him, hesitating, and confused, but in last I told him that this engagement can't happen currently, he replied: "If you don't agree, just tell me." I told him that all matter is that we have circumstances, then told him that my sister is suffering from a psychological problem, he asked about nature of this problem but I was unable to clarify more for him. Since that day, I am very regretful that I said so and can't sleep feeling guilty. After a while, I reached a very clever he-doctor and already medication has started, thanks to Allah there is a great improvement in her case, and now after medication and taking precautions my sister is rarely bedwetting after she had been making it daily. The case comes back only when she have a large amount of drinks. Now should I go to our neighbor, the polite young man, and clarify all things to him? Or I shouldn't talk about my sister problem?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
If there is any illness or defect that could affect married life or it could put one spouse off the other, it must be disclosed and it is haraam to conceal it.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Every fault which puts the other spouse off, so that the purposes of marriage, namely compassion and love, cannot be achieved, mean that the spouse has the choice of annulling the marriage. (Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/166)
See also the answer to question no. 111980.
Bedwetting is a fault that the suitor must be told about, but if your sister has recovered, or there is the hope that she will recover soon, then you do not have to inform her suitor.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: There is a man who proposed marriage to a woman, and it is known that this woman has a physical defect, but this defect is hidden and is not obvious, and there is the hope that this defect may be cured, such as leprosy or vitiligo. Should the suitor be informed of that?
He replied: If a man proposes marriage to a woman who has a hidden defect, that some people know about, if the suitor asks about it, it is obligatory to tell him; this is clear. If he does not ask about it, then he should be told about it, because this comes under the heading of sincere advice, especially if there is no hope of it being corrected or cured. But if there is the hope that it may be corrected or cured, then it is less serious. But there are some things that may be cured, but the process is slow, if indeed it is even possible, such as leprosy, and to the best of my knowledge I don’t think it can be cured completely. Therefore a differentiation should be made between that which may be curable quickly, and that which is curable but will take some time.
And Allah knows best.










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Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * Is it better for her to get married or to dedicate her life to her elderly parents?

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Which is better for 21-year-old muslimah, get married or didecate her life for her parents who are old already, and her two-brothers who are still young and need her financial support for their education?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
There is no doubt that honouring one’s parents is one of the greatest ways of doing good and one of the widest gates of Paradise.
‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I asked the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): O Messenger of Allah, which deed is best? He said: “Prayer offered on time.” I said: Then what? He said: “Honouring one’s parents.” I said: Then what? He said: “Jihad for the sake of Allaah.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2782; Muslim, 85.
See the answer to question no. 145627
Just as honouring one’s parents is one of the widest gates of Paradise and earns the pleasure of Allah, may He be exalted, there is no doubt that keeping oneself chaste is also one of the most important matters that a person should be concerned with, especially at a young age when temptations are numerous and the individual fears for himself.
What appears to be the case, and is indicated by a great deal of experience, is that there is no conflict between the two matters that are mentioned here in the question. Indeed it is entirely possible to combine the two.
Taking care of parents with regard to matters where they need help, honouring them and upholding ties with them does not require you to dedicate your entire life to that purpose or that to let the opportunity of marriage pass you by when you are young. All you have to do is look at the nature of what your parents need from you. If they need you to serve them and they cannot do things for themselves and your younger brothers cannot do that, all that is required of you is to choose a husband who will let you do that. So instead of accepting a husband who will take you away from your city, choose a husband from the same city where you live. The closer his house is to your parents, the better it will be, so that it will be easy for you to go to them whenever they need that and take care of their affairs. Choose a husband who is kind and easy-going and will help you in that and not prevent you from doing it. At the same time you can organise their affairs in such a way that in many cases it will not be necessary for you to visit them every day, even if they are old.
Whatever the case, these are details that – it seems to us – can be arranged easily, in sha Allah.
If they need financial help for themselves or for your brothers, this is only as much as you are able to do. If you are working, you can give your family some of your salary or wages and you can stipulate to your husband that he should not prevent you from working or prevent you from helping your family.
If it so happens that after marriage you are less able to help them, then perhaps Allah will open another door to provision and goodness for them that will make up for that.
If they are not able to educate your younger brothers, even with help from people other than you, then what appears to be the case is that it is better for you to get married and keep yourself chaste, and to give that precedence over helping your brothers with their education.
Remember that Allah, may He be exalted, will help a person so long as he is helping his brother, so how about if you are keen to help your parents and your brothers. We believe that Allah is not going to deprive you of His help and guidance, and we think that He will grant you a way out from every worry and hardship. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure for all things”
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3].
And Allah knows best.












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General Dought & clear, - * Names that are similar to the names of evildoers, and the ruling on changing haraam names of forefathers

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I am a Muslim alhamdullilah. My first name is "Mirza" and I am considering to change it because Mirza is the first name of the leader of qadiani movement, who was/is a blasphemer. What are the implications of having this name since birth in Islam and what If I want to change it. Just for your information, My Grandfathers first name starts with Mirza and also my father's name too (May Allah Grant Them Jannat Al Firdous and All Ahl Al Qaboor).
Is it a must to have father's name in the child's complete name too, for example, Father's name is Abdullah, so should the child name include the word Abdullah or not ?
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Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
You do not have to change your name, so long as this name is common among Muslims in your country, and does not have a reprehensible or bad meaning.
You do not have to change it even if it is similar to the name of the leader of the Qadiani movement or any other disbeliever or heretic. At the time of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) there were people who were mushrikeen and some of the greatest enemies of Islam, such as Abu Jahl, whose given name was ‘Amr, and ‘Uqbah ibn Abi Mu‘eet, Umayyah ibn Khalaf, al-Waleed ibn al-Mugheerah, and others. Yet despite that, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did not change the names of those Sahaabah whose names were similar to the names of these evildoers and disbelievers. He did not change the name of ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir al-Juhani (may Allah be pleased with him), or the name of ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, or the name of Umayyah ibn Makhshi al-Khuzaa‘i, or the name of al-Waleed ibn al-Waleed, or many others (may Allah be pleased with them all). This is something that is very well known and such cases are too many to count.
In fact, one of the female Sahaabah was called Naa’ilah, which was the same as the name of the most famous idol of the Arabs during the Jaahiliyyah, which was set up on top of as-Safa. Yet despite that the Prophet (blessings and of Allah be upon him) did not change the names of those female Sahaabah who were called Naa’ilah. That was only because the name Naa’ilah was well known among people and was not a name given only to that idol, as was the case with Hubal, al-‘Uzza and the like. For more information, please see the answer to question no. 217829.
Secondly:
It is obligatory to attribute the son to his father, and to include with the son’s name the name of his father and family, when required, in all official papers, identity documents, and cases where it is required to prove one’s lineage and identity, and so on. The names of fathers and grandfathers should not be changed from those which are recorded and by which they are known, even if they are incorrect or reflect servitude to something other than Allah, because this may lead to loss of knowledge of lineage, severing of family ties, and the loss of people’s rights in cases of debt, inheritance and so on.
It was for this reason that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did not change the names of his forefathers or the forefathers of the Sahaabah that reflected servitude to something other than Allah. They were attributed to their grandfathers and they did not feel any embarrassment because of that, just as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) used to say: “I am the Prophet, no lie; I am the son of ‘Abd al-Muttalib”, even though his grandfather’s name reflected servitude to someone other than Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It is obligatory to change a name such as ‘Abd an-Nabi (slave of the Prophet) or ‘Abd al-Ka‘bah (slave of the Ka‘bah) to a name such as ‘Abdullah (slave of Allah), ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan (slave of the Most Gracious), Muhammad, Ahmad, Saalih or other names that are Islamically acceptable. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) changed many people’s names.
But if it is the name of one’s father, if the father is still alive, then he should be told so that he can change his name. But if he is deceased, there is no need to change it, and it should be left as it is, because the Prophet did not change the name of ‘Abd al-Muttalib or other names that indicated servitude to anything other than Allah, such as (the name of his ancestor) ‘Abd Manaaf, because they were known by those names.
And Allah knows best.












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