Plural marriage and fair treatment of co-wives, Dought & clear, - * Polygamy and respecting the wife’s feelings

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Polygamy...I understand what Allah (swt)has said regarding this subject in as much as the economic and importance of the family structure however where in the Quaran does it address the distressed feelings of a woman when her husband decides to take another wife, and how these two should live in harmony under one roof?
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Praise be to Allaah.
The first wife’s distress when her husband marries another wife is to be expected, and Allaah has set out rules and regulations to reduce these feelings or remove them altogether, by enjoining justice, patience in the face of adversity, and so on. Whatever the case, the fact that these feelings of distress and the dislike of polygamy exist does not justify condemnation of polygamy. Islam came to serve and increase people’s best interests, and to reduce harmful things and render them ineffective. There is no doubt that polygamy, when practised properly in accordance with Islam, achieves many things that are in people’s best interests (such as maintaining the chastity of the man who is not satisfied with one wife, taking care of and maintaining the chastity of the woman who has no husband, increasing the offspring of the Muslims, solving the problem of widows and spinsters, and of the reduced numbers of men after times of war, and so on). As regards the bad things that happen in cases of polygamy, either they are very small when compared to its benefits, or they stem from bad application of this practice. One of the rights which Islam gives to women is that a wife should have her own house, so the two wives do not have to live together under one roof. And Allaah knows best.

Plural marriage and fair treatment of co-wives, Dought & clear, - * Permissibility of marrying a second wife

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Is it permissible for a person who cannot adjust with his current wife to marry a second wife? He does not want to leave his first wife.
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Arabic Answer in audio: Real Audio format -- Press here to play
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English translation:
Praise be to Allaah and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
It is OK for you to marry a second wife, and in fact this could be the solution to your problem, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"… then marry women of your choice, two or three, or four…" [al-Nisaa’ 4:3]
- as long as you are going to treat them equally with regard to where you spend your nights and how much you spend on them. So if you spend one night with one, and the next night with the other, and spend on them equally, there is nothing wrong at all with marrying a second wife.
And Allaah knows best.

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * Should he marry a girl who insists on going out wearing adornment (tabarruj) even though her character is good?

I am a Muslim who is able to get married, and I have met a girl who
has a good character but she goes out wearing adornment. What is the
Islamic ruling if I marry her and she insists on going out wearing
adornment?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged us
to marry women who are religiously committed. He said: "Women may be
married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and
their religious commitment. Choose the one who is
religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may
your prosper)." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466.
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "This world
is transient comforts, and the best of the comforts of this world is a
righteous woman." Narrated by Muslim, 1467. Whoever fails to find a
righteous wife misses out on the best of the comforts of this world,
one that is better than wealth, children and status, etc.
This should motivate the Muslim to seek a wife who is religiously
committed and of good character, and to give such a woman precedence
over all others, and not to be heedless about the best of the comforts
of this world.
A righteous woman is the one who pays attention to the rights of
Allaah and the rights of other people, and the person who has the
greatest rights over her is her husband.
Persisting in sin is worse than the sin itself, because it is
indicative of weakness of faith and failure to respect Allaah, and it
means that the person is careless about things that may be detrimental
to his religious commitment.
Secondly:
As well as being an act of disobedience and sin, going out wearing
one's adornment is also indicative of a woman's bad attitude and lack
of modesty. How can a chaste and modest woman be content to have
people look at her and enjoy her beauty?
But because of her weakness of faith and the strength of her whims and
desires, the woman who goes out wearing her adornment does not realize
how bad her action is, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"and Shaytaan (Satan) made fair‑seeming to them that which they used to do"
[al-An'aam 6:43]
Many of those who used to go out wearing their adornment, when Allaah
blesses them with guidance, become appalled at their former immodest
ways.
There are well known reports which warn against tabarruj (wanton
display of one's beauty and adornments), such as the words of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "There are two
types of the people of Hell whom I have not seen: people with whips
like the tails of cattle, with which they strike the people, and women
who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with
something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning
to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its
fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a
distance." Narrated by Muslim, 2128.
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Any woman
who perfumes herself then passes by the people so that they can smell
her fragrance is an adulteress." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4173;
al-Tirmidhi, 2786; al-Nasaa'i, 5126; classed as hasan by al-Albaani
inSaheehal-Nasaa'i.
If this sin is repeated, it creates a black spot on the heart, until
the whole heart is blackened, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "If the believer commits a sin, a black spot
appears on his heart. If he repents, gives it up and seeks
forgiveness, his heart is cleansed, but if he does more then (that
spot) increases until it covers his heart. That is the raan (covering
of sin) which Allaah mentioned in the Qur'aan:
"Nay! But on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil
deeds) which they used to earn"
[al-Mutaffifeen 83:14]
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3334; Ibn Maajah, 4244; classed as hasan by
al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.
You should note that marriage to a woman who persists in going out
wearing her adornment can only mean one of two things:
1 – That the husband has given in to her, and is keeping quiet about
her evil action, so he will carry a burden of major sin in the
Hereafter and shame in this world, for he is a shepherd who is
responsible for his flock.
How can a wise man accept to walk with his wife in the street when she
is showing her adornment, and the men around him are looking at her
and enjoying the view?!
2 – That he will stay with her in a state of conflict and fighting and
disagreement. This may be a cause of distress and anguish which no
wise man would accept. So err on the side of caution, for there is
nothing like being on the safe side. Look for a wife who is
religiously committed, for a righteous woman will be good for you,
praise be to Allaah. A righteous woman is the best of the comforts of
this world; she will help you to obey Allaah, remind you of what is
right and proper, guard herself and her husband's wealth, and raise
righteous children for him who will worship Allaah.
We ask Allaah to guide you and give you strength.
And Allaah knows best.

Engagment, - Dought & clear, - * Is it obligatory to inform a suitor of hair growing on the face?

It helped me a lot in making the discision I made elhamdullilah.
Introduction. I am not married yet but Ive come to an age that people
are interested but not lot have asked my hand because I am still
studying. In our little community they dont ask hand of girls who are
still studying, I dont know why, maybe they're afraid to be rejected?
Allahu ahlam. But honestly I don't think I'll be able to be a good
whife and a student at the same time but that is something I will
think about when someone will come In Sha Allah. Question: I have a
problem. Certain parts on my body ( legs, armpits, lips) are to hairy
and I even have sideburns. I pluck it so it doesn't grow fast as when
I shave it ( I do nothing with my sideburns). If you see me, so just
my face cause I way hijaab en abaya, you would never tell that I have
this issue. It's not that I let it grow, definitly not my armpits
cause we are not allowed to alhmdoullilah. I have two question; -
Should I better tell or not tell the man who will ask my hand about my
condition ? And how, trough whom I should say it to him, cause I won't
be sitting with him alone untill I got married and than it's to late i
suppose.
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Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
There is nothing wrong with a woman removing hair from the face or
lips, whether that is done using something that will stop is appearing
altogether or by removing it every time it appears, because this hair
is one of the things about which nothing is said (in Islam), and such
matters are forgiven.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: What is the
ruling on women removing unwanted hair permanently, i.e., so that it
will not grow back again, by using cosmetic preparations such as
creams and herbs? Is that regarded as changing the creation of Allah?
He replied: There is nothing wrong with that and it is not regarded as
the kind of changing that is forbidden. If a man or woman removes hair
from the armpit or pubic region with something that will prevent it
growing back again, there is nothing wrong with that and there is no
sin in it.
End quote fromFataawa Noor 'ala ad-Darb
http://www.bi nbaz.org.sa /mat/200802
For more information, please see the answer to question no. 9037
Secondly:
The basic principle is that any physical defect that is off-putting to
either of the spouses, or causes harm, or leads to missing out on the
purpose of marriage, must be disclosed.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The ruling is that
any physical defect that is off-putting to the other spouse, in such a
way that the purposes of marriage, such as compassion and love, could
not be achieved, should be disclosed so that suitor may make a
decision in the light of that.
End quote fromZaad al-Ma'aad, 5/166
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The correct
view is that a physical defect is anything that leads to missing out
on the purpose of marriage. Undoubtedly some of the most important
purposes of marriage are pleasure, service and producing offspring. If
there is anything that prevents fulfillment of these purposes, then it
is a physical defect.
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti', 12/220
The guidelines on determining the kind of physical defect of which one
must inform the husband or suitor, so that he may make a decision in
the light of that, are three:
1. The illness must have an impact on married life and affect the
woman's ability to fulfil the rights of the husband and children.
2. It should be off-putting to the husband if he sees it or smells it.
3. It should be real and permanent, not something imagined or
temporary that will go away with time or after marriage.
Please see the answer to question no. 111980
InFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah(19/14) it says: If this problem is
temporary and is one of the things that happen to women then
disappear, there is no need to inform the suitor about it. But if this
problem is a kind of illness that has an impact or is not a minor,
temporary problem, and the proposal goes ahead when she still has the
problem and has not been healed of it, then in that case her guardian
must inform the suitor of that. End quote.
Based on the above:
If this hair can be removed permanently, whether that is by means of
creams, medicines or hormones that control it, then it is prescribed
to remove it and ward off its harm, and it is not necessary to inform
the suitor of that at all.
If it cannot be removed permanently, but it can be taken care of and
whatever appears of it can before it becomes obvious and off-putting
to the husband, then it is not necessary to inform him of it, but you
have to do that pay attention to it and ward off harm from yourself
and your husband.
Is it so happens that despite paying attention to it some of it is
left and is off-putting, and the harm cannot be warded off altogether,
then in this case it is necessary to inform the suitor of the
situation.
There is no stipulation that this should be done by you telling him
directly; rather it could be done by showing him a medical report
about your condition, or telling some trustworthy women among his
relatives, such as his mother or sister, about the situation, and they
can then tell him about it.
And Allah knows best.