'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
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{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
Share Most people are unable to understand the linkage between what they desire and what they deserve. You deserve on the strength of your effectiveness, your competencies and the strength of your connectivity with the ultimate reality. These need you to schedule your time to develop yourself continuously. And, that is not easy. The most easily picked up conditioned response is to blame others or circumstances in situations where results are not to expectations.
When you blame others, you give up your power to change; you create an environment of De-motivation around you by the negative energy of blaming. Success is in taking responsibility of the results as the first step for bringing in the desired results. Time spent in blaming is a total waste.
People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives. - J. Michael Straczynski
Most of the blamers are those people who have not succeeded to the appropriate level that they wish. They are mostly wishful thinkers that cannot transform the wish into well-formed-outcomes and goals and therefore, they hardly know what to do and if they know what to do, they hardly have the appropriate level of skills. Blamers have great imaginations. They can easily figure out the way of turning the facts and distorting the realities in a way that salvages their character or reputation. They believed if they accept the responsibility instead of blaming others or even blaming themselves, they will be dramatically undermined and degraded. They just cannot take the pain of degradation. They see a great level of relief in blaming others.
The way they perceive the mistakes or faults is either to blame themselves or to blame others. They have only two options. Instead of blaming themselves, they find it easier to blame others. If they learnt that there is another option and it is not blaming anybody but accepting the responsibility for correcting the situation and learning the skills, they would begin a new path in their life.
The reason that the blamers do not succeed as well as the ones who take the responsibilities is in the fact that they expect success without any failure, without any fault and without any mistake. They just can't bear the guilt of not being able to do things correctly. Blamers think that success comes very easily and without any failure. The history of all successful people indicates that they do a lot of mistakes before they get it right and succeed. The successful people take the blame gracefully and begin to find a way for avoiding it next time when they are blamed for their failures. The blamers think differently. They look for everybody who have been somehow involved or could have been involved in a scenario. If they can find somebody who had some involvement in the faulty action they immediately begin to blame that person. If they cannot find somebody easily to blame for their wrongdoing then they blame their parents, people, the circumstances, the systems and even bad luck.
Examples of Blaming Others:
*.If a man cuts his finger off while slicing Salami at work, he blames the faulty equipment.
*.If a man smokes three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, he blames the tobacco company.
*.If a man crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the alcohol.
*.If the grandchildren are brats without manners, we blame television.
If the blamers wish to succeed in anything they have to accept responsibility for whatever they do and what has happened in their lives and avoid blaming others. Blaming circumstances or people would not resolve the problems of the blamers, in fact, it will increase their problems. Some of the blamers who have institutionalized blaming others have taken an attitude of transferring the blame for their own faults even when they get old. As they get older they increase the number of blaming others. If you sit down and talk with an old blamer you will realize that he has accumulated thousands of excuses for not being able to succeed and he has found hundreds of people to blame for his own failures.
The good news is that most of the conditioning of childhood that keeps you from success can be reversed. The starting point is the realization of the extent to which conditioning affects your perception that shapes your attitudes and behavior. For this, you are required to appreciate your vast unexplored potential and take responsibility of making "A" choice - that of doing something about it rather than being casual about it or blaming circumstances and people. You are also required to understand that the reprogramming takes place the same way as the programming in the initial stage - by repetition. Persistence, thus, becomes a key quality for success.
It is wise to direct your anger towards problems - not people; to focus your energies on answers - not excuses.
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