Marriage Contract, - * Should she agree to be a second wife or be patient?

I am a divorced woman in the 40's. I am from a good family and of a
decent status in life. I have learnt from my previous experiment a
difficult lesson, because it was not a choice based on Islam and
morals, it was based on appearances.
A man proposed to me recently. I think he is moral and religious and
known as righteous, but he is married and his wife is a family friend
of my family. As for social status, he is from a simpler background
than ours. I fear how the society will see this marriage. I also fear
his wife's look to me. All this in the stage of proposal and asking my
brother for my hand, how about if this marriage takes place! I am from
Egypt, and you know how the Egyptian society sees the second wife.
When I pray istikharah I feel comfortable and I feel like telling my
brother to accept. But I become strained when I think of the society
and people wondering why I had to accept who is of simpler social
status than me, and how could I take a man from his wife and children.
He did not propose to me due to greed, it is just his wish to help
Muslim women in difficulties especially if known of being religious.
He is also advising others to do the same thing in order to protect
Muslim women's chastity, and then the whole society's virtuousness. My
brother also witnesses this. He could have easily proposed to who is
younger and more beautiful than me if he wanted.
Will I be sinful if I decline his proposal? What is your opinion
sheikh? Shall I refuse and be patient, so that someone else may
propose to me by the grace of Allah?.
-
Praise be to Allaah.
Undoubtedly the way in which many Muslim societies (including Egyptian
society) view plural marriage is as a betrayal of the first wife, or
as something for which the husband or second wife are to be blamed.
Undoubtedly this is a mistaken view that is contrary to the law of
Allaah, which permits a man to marry up to four wives. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"…then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four …"
[al-Nisa'4:3]
The Muslim cannot object to the rulings of Allaah, or think that there
is any injustice, transgression or error in the rulings of Allaah.
Hence we do not agree with you when you say: "How can I take the
husband from his wife and children?"
You are not taking this husband away; rather he has come and proposed
to you of his own free will.
Moreover he is going to bear the burden of two families and two
households at the same time; he is not going to leave his first wife
and children for your sake, so how can that be taking him away?
As for the opinion of the first wife, this is part of the human nature
which is inherent in most women (jealousy), and she wants to keep her
husband for herself and not share him with anyone. The Mothers of the
Believers (may Allaah be pleased with them) who were the best women of
this ummah, had some problems because of jealousy, but the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forgave them and did not
hold it against them.
You can remedy that with a little wisdom and good attitude. But it is
also essential to put up with some of that which may come from her
because this is the nature of women.
The husband must also be wise in his dealing with such attitudes so
that he will not make the disputes and conflicts worse.
With regard to our advice to you, whether to accept this husband or
wait in the hope that Allaah might provide you with someone else:
The answer is that if you hope that there may come someone who is
better than him, then there is no reason why you should not refuse
him, but if you are afraid – as you are older – and because of your
situation that there will not be anyone else who is better than him,
or even like him, then we think – and Allaah knows best – that you
should agree to this marriage.
For a woman to agree to be a second wife and to put up with some
problems from the first wife or the society around her, is much easier
than staying without a husband.
We ask Allaah to make good easy for you wherever it is.
And Allaah knows best.

Comedy

"மன்னர் ஏன் புலவரை நையப் புடைக்கிறார்?"
:
" கொற்றவா,
:
புறமுதுகிட்டு ஓடிவர கற்றவான்னு பாட்டு எழுதி வந்துட்டாராம்!"

* Ruling on celebrating Valentine’s Day.

What is the ruling on Valentine's Day?.
-
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Valentine's Day is a jaahili Roman festival, which continued to be
celebrated until after the Romans became Christian. This festival
became connected with the saint known as Valentine who was sentenced
to death on 14 February 270 CE. The kuffaar still celebrate this
festival, during which immorality and evil are practised widely.
Secondly:
It is not permissible for a Muslim to celebrate any of the festivals
of the kuffaar, because festivals come under the heading of shar'i
issues which are to be based on the sound texts.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Festivals are part of sharee'ah, clear way and rituals of which Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way"
[al-Maa'idah 5:48]
"For every nation We have ordained religious ceremonies which they must follow"
[al-Hajj 22:67]
-- such as the qiblah (direction faced in prayer), prayer and
fasting. There is no difference between their participating in the
festival and their participating in all other rituals. Joining in
fully with the festival is joining in with kufr, and joining in with
some of its minor issues is joining in with some of the branches of
kufr. Indeed, festivals are one of the most unique features that
distinguish various religions and among their most prominent symbols,
so joining in with them is joining in with the most characteristic and
prominent symbols of kufr. No doubt joining in with this may lead to
complete kufr.
Partially joining in, at the very least, is disobedience and sin. This
was indicated by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) when he said: "Every people has its festival and this is our
festival." This is worse than joining them in wearing the zinaar (a
garment that was worn only by ahl al-dhimmah) and other
characteristics of theirs, for those characteristics are man-made and
are not part of their religion, rather the purpose behind them is
simply to distinguish between a Muslim and a kaafir. As for the
festival and its rituals, this is part of the religion which is cursed
along with its followers, so joining in with it is joining in with
something that is a cause of incurring the wrath and punishment of
Allaah. End quote fromIqtida' al-Siraat al-Mustaqeem(1/207).
He also said (may Allaah have mercy on him): It is not permissible for
the Muslims to imitate them in anything that is uniquely a part of
their festivals, whether it be food, clothing, bathing, lighting
fires, refraining from a regular habit, doing acts of worship or
anything else. It is not permissible to give a feast or to give gifts,
or to sell anything that will help them to do that for that purpose,
or to allow children and others to play games that are part of the
festivals, or to wear one's adornments.
To conclude: the Mulsims should not do any of their rituals at the
time of their festivals; rather the day of their festival should be
like any other day for the Muslims. The Muslims should not do anything
specific in imitation of them. End quote fromMajmoo
al-Fataawa(25/329).
Al-Haafiz al-Dhahabi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If the
Christians have a festival, and the Jews have a festival, it is only
for them, so no Muslim should join them in that, just as no Muslim
should join them in their religion or their direction of prayer. End
quote fromTashabbuh al-Khasees bi Ahl al-Khamees, published inMajallat
al-Hikmah(4/193)
The hadeeth to which Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah referred was
narrated by al-Bukhaari (952) and Muslim (892) from 'Aa'ishah (may
Allaah be pleased with her) who said: Abu Bakr came in and there were
two young girls of the Ansaar with me who were singing about what had
happened to the Ansaar on the day of Bu'aath. She said: And they were
not (professional) singing girls. Abu Bakr said: "Musical instruments
of the shaytaan in the house of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him)?!" and that was on the day of Eid.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "O Abu Bakr, every people has a festival and this is our
festival."
Abu Dawood (1134) narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) came to Madeenah, they had two days when they would play. He
said: "What are these two days?" They said: "We used to play on these
days during the Jaahiliyyah." The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Allaah has given you instead
of them two days that are better than them: the day of al-Adha and the
day of al-Fitr." This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
inSaheeh AbiDawood.
This indicates that festivals are among the characteristics by which
nations are distinguished, and it is not permissible to celebrate the
festivals of the ignorant and the mushrikeen (polytheists).
The scholars have issued fatwas stating that it is haraam to celebrate
Valentine's Day.
1 –Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:
In recent times the celebration of Valentine's Day has become
widespread, especially among female students. It is a Christian
festival where people dress completely in red, including clothes and
shoes, and they exchange red flowers. We hope that you can explain the
ruling on celebrating this festival, and what your advice is to
Muslims with regard to such matters; may Allaah bless you and take
care of you.
He replied:
Celebrating Valentine's Day is not permissible for a number of reasons.
1- It is an innovated festival for which there is no basis in Islam.
2- It promotes love and infatuation.
3- It calls for hearts to be preoccupied with foolish matters that
are contrary to the way of the righteous salaf (may Allaah be pleased
with them).
It is not permissible on this day to do any of the things that are
characteristic of this festival, whether that has to do with food,
drinks, clothing, exchanging gifts or anything else.
The Muslim should be proud of his religion and should not be a weak
character who follows every Tom, Dick and Harry. I ask Allaah to
protect the Muslims from all temptations, visible and invisible, and
to protect us and guide us.
End quote fromMajmoo' Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen(16/199)
2 – The Standing Committee was asked: Some people celebrate
Valentine's Day on the fourteenth of February every year. They
exchange gifts of red roses and wear red clothes and congratulate one
another. Some bakeries make red coloured sweets and draw hearts on
them, and some stores advertise products that are especially for this
day. What is your opinion on the following:
1- Celebrating this day
2- Buying things from the stores on this day
3- Storekeepers who are not celebrating it selling things that may
be given as gifts to people who are celebrating it?
They replied:
The clear evidence of the Qur'aan and Sunnah – and the consensus of
the early generations of this ummah – indicates that there are only
two festivals in Islam: Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. Any other
festivals that have to do with a person, a group, an event or anything
else are innovated festivals, which it is not permissible for Muslims
to observe, approve of or express joy on those occasions, or to help
others to celebrate them in any way, because that is transgressing the
sacred limits of Allaah, and whoever transgresses the sacred limits of
Allaah has wronged himself. If the fabricated festival is also a
festival of the kuffaar, then the sin is even greater, because this is
imitating them and it is a kind of taking them as close friends, and
Allaah has forbidden the believers to imitate them and take them as
close friends in His Holy Book. And it is proven that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever imitates a
people is one of them." Valentine's Day comes under this heading
because it is an idolatrous Christian festival, so it is not
permissible for a Muslim who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to
observe it or approve of it or congratulate people on it. Rather he
has to ignore it and avoid it, in obedience to Allaah and His
Messenger, and so as to keep away from the causes that incur the wrath
and punishment of Allaah. It is also haraam for the Muslim to help
people to celebrate this or any other haraam festival by supplying any
kind of food or drink, or buying or selling or manufacturing or giving
or advertising etc., because all of that is cooperating in sin and
transgression and is disobedience towards Allaah and His Messenger
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Help you one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness
and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. And
fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is Severe in punishment"
[al-Maa'idah 5:2]
The Muslim must adhere to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah in all his
affairs, especially at times of fitnah when evil is widespread. He
should be smart and avoid falling into the misguidance of those who
have earned Allaah's anger and who have gone astray, and the evildoers
who have no fear of Allaah and who do not have any pride in being
Muslims. The Muslim must turn to Allaah and seek His guidance and
remain steadfast in following it, for there is no Guide except Allaah
and no one can make a person steadfast but Him. And Allaah is the
source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our
Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. End quote.
3 – Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked:
Among our young men and women it has become common to celebrate
Valentine's Day, which is named after a saint who is venerated by the
Christians, who celebrate it every year on February 14, when they
exchange gifts and red roses, and they wear red clothes. What is the
ruling on celebrating this day and exchanging gifts?
He replied:
Firstly: it is not permissible to celebrate these innovated festivals,
because it is an innovation for which there is no basis in Islam. It
comes under the heading of the hadeeth of 'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her), according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whoever introduces anything into this
matter of ours that is not part of it will have it rejected."
Secondly: it involves imitating the kuffaar and copying them by
venerating that which they venerate and respecting their festivals and
rituals, and imitating them in something that is part of their
religion. In the hadeeth it says: "Whoever imitates a people is one of
them."
Thirdly: it results in evils and haraam things such as wasting time,
singing, music, extravagance, unveiling, wanton display, men mixing
with women, women appearing before men other than their mahrams, and
other haraam things, or things that are a means that leads to
immorality. That cannot be excused by the claim that this is a kind of
entertainment and fun. The one who is sincere towards himself should
keep away from sin and the means that lead to it.
And he said:
Based on this, it is not permissible to sell these gifts and roses, if
it is known that the purchaser celebrates these festivals or will give
these things as gifts on those days, so that the seller will not be a
partner of the one who does those innovations. And Allaah knows best.
End quote.
And Allaah knows best.

General Article, - * Ruling on marriage for a woman who hasa genetic defect and on contraception because of the possibility of children being born with a deformity

There is a woman who was born with a physical deformity that may be
due to a genetic defect. She has decided to undergo some genetic
testing to find out the nature of the problem and the likelihood of it
being passed on to her children, and whether it makes her susceptible
to diseases that require screening for early diagnosis. What is the
ruling on that? If the defect is found, what is the ruling on her
getting married and having children? Please note that the possibility
of it being passed on is not certain, but if Allah decrees that the
problem be passed on, it could cause severe deformity in the child
that could lead to mental or physical disability. So does not marrying
or having children come under the heading of taking appropriate
measures as prescribed in Islamic teaching? Should she inform any
suitor of this deformity? What is the ruling on telling him about the
possibility of the problem being passed on to her children?
-
Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
There is nothing wrong with undergoing genetic testing to find out
what the problem is and the likelihood of it being passed on to
children or causing other problems, because that serves an interest
and wards off harm. Taking measures to treat such problems is
something that is prescribed in Islamic teaching.
For more information on the permissibility of undergoing testing
before marriage, Secondly:
Assuming that a genetic defect is found, it is permissible for this
woman to get married, even if there is the possibility of the problem
being passed on to her children, on condition that she inform any
suitor of her problem.
With regard to her getting married, that is in accordance with the
basic principle that marriage is permissible and is encouraged, so as
to attain chastity, comfort and love.
As for having children, that is one of the most important objectives
of marriage, and it is not ruled out by the possibility of the child
being afflicted, for this is something that only Allah knows; the
child might be born sound and healthy.
But if it is thought most likely that the child will be born with a
deformity, and this is an overwhelming possibility, then the couple
may agree not to have children, and they may abort the foetus if it is
proven to be deformed, on condition that that be done before the soul
is breathed into the fetus, i.e., before the pregnancy reaches one
hundred and twenty days.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: I am a Muslim
woman, praise be to Allah; I do the obligatory duties that my Lord has
enjoined upon me, such as prayer, fasting and zakaah, but I took
contraceptive measures during the period when my husband was sick with
tuberculosis. This period lasted for approximately ten years, after
which my menses ceased completely. Is what I did something that could
incur divine wrath? Because my children were afflicted with
hemiplegia; some of them died and some of them are still alive, but
are afflicted with this disease. Please advise me, may Allah reward
you.
He replied:
If you took contraceptive measures with your husband's consent, then
there is no blame on you. If it was with his consent or agreement,
then we hope that there will be no blame on you. But if you did that
without his consent or without his knowledge, then you must repent,
seek Allah's forgiveness and regret what you did. And praise be to
Allah.
End quote fromFataawa Noor 'ala ad-Darb(21/421).
It is essential to inform any suitor of this defect, because the
scholarly view that is more likely to be correct is that anything that
may affect married life or the ability to have children, or that may
put one of the spouses off the other, is a defect that must be
disclosed.
If the suitor is aware of the defect, and agrees to go ahead with the
marriage, then there is nothing wrong with that, no matter what the
problem or disease is.
We ask Allah to heal our sister, grant her well-being and bless her
with a righteous husband and righteous offspring.
And Allah knows best.