General Dought & clear, - * Evidence for the prescription of udhiyah, and whetherit is obligatory or recommended

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Brief
I read the fatwa on your site, which says that udhiyah is Sunnah, but there is no strong evidence on your website to support this view. Could you please present some evidence that udhiyah is Sunnah and not obligatory? What about the hadith “Whoever can afford it but does not offer a sacrifice, let him not come near our prayer-place.” [Ibn Maajah, hadith no. 3123]?
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Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
Concerning this issue there is a well-known difference of opinion among the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them). Most of the scholars are of the view that udhiyah is Sunnah, and is not obligatory.
The Hanafis and Imam Ahmad, according to one report, which is also the view favoured by Ibn Taymiyah, are of the view that it is obligatory for one who can afford it.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The majority of scholars are of the view that udhiyah is a confirmed Sunnah and is not obligatory.
That was narrated from Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, Bilaal and Abu Mas‘ood al-Badri (may Allah be pleased with them). It was also the view of Suwayd ibn Ghafalah, Sa‘eed ibn al-Musayyab, ‘Alqamah, al-Aswad, ‘Ata’, ash-Shaafa‘i, Ishaaq, Abu Thawr, and Ibn al-Mundhir. Rabee‘ah, Maalik, ath-Thawri, al-Awzaa‘i, al-Layth, and Abu Haneefah said: It is obligatory, because of the report narrated by Abu Hurayrah, according to which the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever can afford it but does not offer a sacrifice, let him not come near our prayer-place.” And it was narrated from Mikhnaf ibn Sulaym that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “O people, each household, each year, must offer a sacrifice (udhiyah) and an ‘ateerah [a sacrifice that was offered during Rajab in the pre-Islamic period].”
There is also the report narrated by ad-Daaraqutni, with his isnaad from Ibn ‘Abbaas, that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three things that are obligatory for me, but for you they are optional.” According to another report, they are: “Witr, the sacrifice (udhiyah) and the two (Sunnah) rak‘ahs of Fajr.”
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:” Whoever wants to offer the udhiyah, when the first ten days of Dhu’l-Hijjah begin, let him not remove anything of his hair or skin.” Narrated by Muslim. Offering the udhiyah is connected to wanting to do it, but that which is obligatory cannot be connected to wanting to do it.
End quote fromal-Mughni(11/95).
Secondly:
Each group of scholars quoted several things as evidence for its view, but the evidence is not free of some reservations concerning its isnaads, or some dispute concerning its interpretation. We will limit our discussion to the most significant of the marfoo‘ hadiths.
With regard to the first hadith quoted by those who say that it is obligatory:
It is the hadith of Abu Hurayrah, according to which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever can afford it but does not offer a sacrifice, let him not come near our prayer-place.” [Ibn Maajah, hadith no. 3123]
Some of the leading scholars of hadith did not accept that it is marfoo‘ (attributed to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)), and they judged it to be the words of Abu Hurayrah, not the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
Al-Bayhaqi said in hisSunan(9/260): I heard that Abu ‘Eesa at-Tirmidhi said: With regard to the hadith narrated by Abu Hurayrah, it may be soundly attributed to him, but it is mawqoof (that is, it is the words of the Sahaabi and cannot be attributed to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)). It was narrated by Ja‘far ibn Rabee‘ah and others from ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan al-A‘raj from Abu Hurayrah as a mawqoof report. End quote.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: It was narrated by Ibn Maajah and Ahmad, and its men are thiqaat, but there is a difference of opinion as to whether it is marfoo‘ or mawqoof. The view that it is mawqoof is more likely to be correct. This was stated by at-Tahhaawi and others. Moreover, it does not clearly state that (offering the udhiyah) is obligatory. End quote fromFath al-Baari912/98).
The view that it is mawqoof was deemed more likely to be correct by Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr, ‘Abd al-Haqq inal-Ahkaam al-Wusta(4/127), al-Mundhiri inat-Targheeb wa’t-Tarheeb, Ibn ‘Abd al-Haadi inat-Tanqeeh(2/498). See:Haashiyat Muhaqqiqi Sunan Ibn Maajah(4/303).
The second hadith is the hadith of Abu Ramlah from Mikhnaf ibn Sulaym, in a marfoo‘ report: “O people, each household, each year, must offer a sacrifice (udhiyah) and an ‘ateerah.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2788), at-Tirmidhi (1596), Ibn Maajah (3125).
The ‘ateerah was a sacrifice that they used to offer during Rajab [before Islam]. It was also known as ar-Rajabiyyah.
A number of scholars classed this report as da‘eef (weak), because Abu Ramlah, whose name was ‘Aamir, is unknown.
Al-Khattaabi said: This hadith is da‘eef, and Abu Ramlah is unknown.
End quote fromMa‘aalim as-Sunan(2/226).
Az-Zayla‘i said: ‘Abd al-Haqq said: Its isnaad is da‘eef. Ibn al-Qattaan said: The problem with it is the fact that Abu Ramlah, whose name was ‘Aamir, is unknown; he is only known for this report, which was reported from him by Ibn ‘Awn.
End quote fromNasab ar-Raayah(4/112).
With regard to those who say that it is recommended, they quoted as evidence a number of marfoo‘ hadiths, the most important of which are the two hadiths that were quoted by Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him).
The first hadith is the hadith of Ibn ‘Abbaas, according to which the Messenger of Allah (sa) (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three things that are obligatory for me, but for you they are optional: Witr, the sacrifice (udhiyah) and Duha prayer.” Narrated by Ahmad (2050) and al-Bayhaqi (2/467).
This hadith was classed as da‘eef by a number of earlier and later leading scholars of hadith. Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The reason for its being classed as da‘eef is that it was narrated by Abu Janaab al-Kalbi, from ‘Ikrimah. But Abu Janaab is da‘eef and mudallis [i.e., he engaged in tadlees, which is when a narrator narrates a hadith that he did not hear directly from his shaykh, without mentioning the name of the third party from whom he did hear it, using wording that may or may not give the impression that he heard it directly], and he narrated by saying ‘an (from) [this is weaker than saying “So and so told me” and the like, especially on the part of one who is mudallis]. The leading scholars such as Ahmad, al-Bayhaqi, Ibn as-Salaah, Ibn al-Jawzi, an-Nawawi and others deemed this hadith to be da‘eef.
End quote from al-Talkhees al-Habeer(2/45). See also (2/258).
The second hadith is the hadith of Umm Salamah, according to which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “When the ten (days of Dhu’l-Hijjah) begin, and one of you wants to offer a sacrifice (udhiyah), he should not remove anything from his hair or nails.” Narrated by Muslim (1977).
Imam ash-Shaafa‘i said: This indicates that the udhiyah is not obligatory, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “and [he] wants”, so he connected it to his wanting to do it. If it were obligatory, he would have said: let him not remove anything from his hair until he offers the udhiyah.
End quote fromal-Majmoo‘(8/386).
But this deduction is subject to further discussion, because making something dependent upon wanting to do it does not prove that it is not obligatory.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
In my view, making it dependent upon wanting to do it does not rule out its being obligatory, if evidence to that effect is proven. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said concerning the miqaats: “They are for them and for anyone other than their people who comes to them, wanting to perform Hajj and ‘Umrah.” This does not mean that Hajj and ‘Umrah are not obligatory, based on other evidence. … The udhiyah is not obligatory for one who cannot afford it, so he does not want or intend to do it. So in this regard it is valid to divide people into those who want or intend to do it and those who do not, based on whether they can afford it or not.
End quote fromAhkaam al-Udhiyah wa’dh-Dhakaah(p. 47).
Conclusion: there are some reservations about the hadiths which say that the udhiyah is obligatory, although some of the scholars classed some of these hadiths as hasan. The same applies to the hadiths which state that it is recommended; in fact, in terms of their isnaads, they are more weak.
Hence Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said, at the end of his lengthy essay Ahkaam al-Udhiyah wa’dh-Dhakaah: These are the opinions of the scholars and the evidence that they give. We have quoted them in order to highlight the status and importance of the udhiyah in Islam. The evidence for each view is almost equal in strength, and the prudent approach dictates that one should not neglect to do it if one can afford it, because of what it involves of venerating and remembering Allah, and discharging one’s obligation with certainty. End quote.
Thirdly:
There are two things that support the view that the udhiyah is not obligatory:
1.
The principle that things are not obligatory unless proven otherwise: so long as there is no sound proof of it being obligatory, then the basic principle is that it is not obligatory.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz said: The ruling on the udhiyah is that it is Sunnah if one can afford it, but it is not obligatory, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) used to sacrifice two rams that were white speckled with black, and during his lifetime and after his death (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), the Sahaabah also used to offer the udhiyah, as the Muslims continued to do after their time, and there is no report in the shar‘i evidence to suggest that the udhiyah is obligatory. The view that it is obligatory is a weak view.
End quote fromMajmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz(18/36)
2.
The saheeh reports that were narrated from the Sahaabah.
It was narrated in saheeh reports from Abu Bakr, ‘Umar and others that they did not offer the udhiyah, because they did not want the people to think that it was obligatory.
Al-Bayhaqi narrated inMa‘rifat as-Sunan wa’l-Athaar(14/16, 18893) from Abu Sareehah who said: I lived during the time of Abu Bakr and ‘Umar; they were neighbours of mine, and they did not offer the udhiyah.
Al-Bayhaqi said, after quoting this: It was narrated to us in the books of as-Sunan, from the hadith of Sufyaan ibn Sa‘eed ath-Thawri, from his father, and the hadith of Mutarrif and Ismaa‘eel, from ash-Sha‘bi, and in some of their reports it says: That was because they did not want to be taken as an example [and think that the udhiyah was obligatory].
See also:as-Sunan al-Kubra(9/444).
An-Nawawi said inal-Majmoo‘(8/383): With regard to the report which speaks about Abu Bakr and ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with them), it was narrated by al-Bayhaqi and others with a hasan isnaad. End quote.
Al-Haythami said: It was narrated by at-Tabaraani inal-Kabeerand its men are the men ofas-Saheeh. End quote fromMajmoo‘ az-Zawaa’id(4/18). It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inal-Irwa’(4/354).
Al-Bayhaqi (9/445) narrated with his isnaad from Abu Mas‘ood al-Ansaari (that he said): I refrain from offering the udhiyah even though I can afford it, for fear that my neighbour may think that it is a must for me. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inal-Irwa’.
Conclusion: there is a considerable difference of opinion among the scholars, but the view that it is recommended is what seems more likely to be correct in our view.
For those who can afford it and want to be prudent and not omit to offer the udhiyah, this is more on the safe side and more certain of doing what is expected of one, as we quoted above from Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him).
If anyone wishes to know more, let him see:Ahkaam al-Udhiyah wa’dh-Dhakaahby Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, and al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Udhiyah by Husaam ad-Deen ‘Affaanah, as he discusses the issue in a very straightforward style.
And Allah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Psychological and Social Problems, Dought & clear, - * The Shaytaan whispers to him to make him imagine a form for Allah, may He exalted, so that he can attain the level of ihsaan!

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I am trying, in acts of worship that have to do with dhikr, such as prayer and supplication (du‘aa’), to worship Allah as if I can see Him, hence I developed the habit of doing something but I do not know whether it is correct or not. That is, I try to imagine Allah in front of me as I am praying, for example, but the closest thing my weak human mind can think of is the image of a human being. I know that this is the farthest removed from the Sovereign who has none that is like unto Him. I also try to imagine myself, when I am prostrating for example, as if I am in front of the Ka‘bah, and I do indeed feel that I am close to Allah, but I also do not feel perfectly close to Allah, because I understand that Allah is far greater than that. I hope that you understand that my issue is not waswasah (whispers from the Shaytaan) but I want to get closer to Allah, so please advise me.
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Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
You should understand that Allah, may He be exalted, is screened from His creation in this world, so no human can see him in this world, neither the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) nor anyone of lesser standing.
The Mother of the Believers ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: Whoever claims that Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) saw his Lord has fabricated a great lie against Allah. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4855) and Muslim (177).
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The imams (leading scholars) of the Muslims are unanimously agreed that no one among the believers can see Allah with his own eyes in this world; they only disagree concerning the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) in particular. However the majority of imams are of the view that he did not see Him with his own eyes in this world. This is what is indicated by the saheeh reports that have been proven from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and the Sahaabah and imams of the Muslims.
Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa2/335
If humans – all humans – have been prevented in this world from seeing Allah, then humans – all humans – are also incapable of comprehending His true essence, may He be glorified, or the exact nature of any of His attributes, because humans cannot imagine anything correctly unless they have seen it or have seen something that resembles or is similar to this thing, so that they can move, in the imagination, from the image of that which they have seen to the image of that which they have never seen.
Based on that, you should understand that whatever image you imagine or that crosses your mind, Allah, may He be exalted, is different from that. Indeed Allah, may He be exalted, is more glorious and greater than all of that. The fact that you are distracted by these imagined images is the result of whispers and temptation from the Shaytaan, so that he can distract you with that which is harmful to you from that which would benefit you, and distract you with falsehood from the truth. Imam at-Tahhaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his bookal-‘Aqeedah:
One’s commitment to Islam cannot be steadfast except on the basis of surrender and submission. So whoever seeks to know about that of which knowledge is kept away from him, and he is not content to submit to Allah, then his efforts (to know that which he has been prevented from knowing) will hinder him from attaining pure Tawheed, proper knowledge and sound faith. So you will see him wavering between belief and disbelief, accepting and rejecting, confirming and denying, controlled by insinuating thoughts, lost in his wandering, full of doubt, neither believing and affirming nor denying and disbelieving.
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) has taught us a way of warding off the waswaas (whispers) that the Shaytaan throws into a person’s heart that have to do with Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, as he said: “The Shaytaan may come to one of you and say: Who created such and such? Until he says to him: Who created your Lord? If it goes that far, let him seek refuge with Allah and stop (such thoughts).”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3276) and Muslim (134).
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
What this means is: if this waswaas comes to him, let him turn to Allah, may He be exalted, to ward off its evil from him, and let him turn away from thinking about that; he should understand that this passing thought comes from the whispers of the Shaytaan, and he is only trying to corrupt him and misguide him. So let him avoid listening to his whispers and let him hasten to cut them off by focusing on something else. And Allah knows best.
For more useful information, please seeFataawa ash-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen(1/question no. 18)
As for the closeness to Allah that you are looking for and seeking in your worship of your Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, the best status of those who worship Allah is:
“To worship Allah as if you see Him, for if you do not see Him, He sees you.”
But this great and noble status does not require you to exert yourself and distract your focus by seeking something that you can never attain, which is to imagine the form of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. Rather it requires you to bring to mind those attributes that Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, has of majesty, perfection and beauty that will help you to focus your heart on worshipping Him, may He be glorified, and turn to Him with all your being. Al-Haafiz Ibn Rajab (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), explaining what is meant by ihsaan, “to worship Allah as if you see Him” indicate that the slaves should worship Allah in this manner, which is trying to feel His closeness and that He is before him. This requires one to be filled with fear, awe and veneration, as it says in the report narrated by Abu Hurayrah: “to fear Allah as if you see Him.” [This version was narrated by Muslim (101)].
That will also lead to being sincere in worship and striving one’s utmost to improve it and perfect it.
Jaami‘ al-‘Uloom wa’l-Hukam(1/104)
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The status of ihsaan is the basis for all deeds of the heart, for it leads to feeling shy (before Allah), awe, veneration, fear, love, turning to Allah, may He be glorified, putting one’s trust in Him, beseeching Him, humbling oneself before Him, cutting off all insinuating thoughts and self-talk, and focusing the heart and mind on Allah.
The individual’s level of closeness to Allah will be commensurate with his level of ihsaan. On that basis, prayers may vary in quality, to the extent that the difference between the prayers of two men may be like the difference between heaven and earth, even though their standing, bowing and prostrating may be the same.
Risaalah Ibn al-Qayyim ila Ahad Ikhwaanihi(p. 38, 39). See also:Jaami‘ al-‘Uloom wa’l-Hikamby Ibn Rajab (1/103ff), Dar Ibn al-Jawzi edn;Ma‘aarij al-Quboolby Shaykh Haafiz al-Hikami (3/999, 1000).
The scholars pointed out a number of actions and beliefs which, if a person strives to attain and understand them, that will help him to draw closer to his Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, and the more a person strives to be closer to his Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, the closer Allah, may He be exalted, will be to him. So do as little or as much as you want.
These things include the following:
1. Attaining true understanding of the Oneness of Allah (Tawheed) and avoiding both major and minor shirk (attributing partners to Allah)
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This is attaining true sincerity and Tawheed which, whoever attains them will be the closest of all people to Allah. That is attaining the word of true devotion,Laa ilaaha ill-Allah(there is no god but Allah).
Al-Istiqaamah(p. 195)
2. Knowing the attributes, names and actions of Allah, may He be exalted.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The status of ihsaan, which is the state of being aware that Allah is always watching, means worshipping Allah as if you can see Him. This status can only stem from perfect belief in Allah and His names and attributes, to the extent that it is as if you can see Allah, may He be glorified, above His heavens, risen above His Throne, issuing His commands and prohibitions, and controlling the affairs of creation. So the command descends from Him and ascends to Him, people’s deeds and souls are shown to Him when they return to Him (at death). So he witnesses all of that in his heart, and he witnesses His names and attributes, and he witnesses One Who is Self-Sustaining and All-Sustaining, Ever-Living, All-Hearing, All-Seeing, Almighty, Most Wise, Who issues commands and prohibitions, Who loves and hates, Who is pleased and is angry, Who does whatever He will and rules however He will; He is above His Throne and nothing is concealed from him of people’s actions, words or innermost thoughts. Rather He knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the hearts conceal (cf. 40:19).
3. Becoming a true close friend (wali, pl. awliya’) of Allah, which is attained through faith and piety, as Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“No doubt! Verily, the Awliya of Allah (i.e. those who believe in the Oneness of Allah and fear Allah much (abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which he has forbidden), and love Allah much (perform all kinds of good deeds which He has ordained)), no fear shall come upon them nor shall they grieve, -
Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism), and used to fear Allah much (by abstaining from evil deeds and sins and by doing righteous deeds)”
[Yoonus 10:62, 62].
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Wilaayah (being a close friend of Allah) means being close to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. The wali of Allah is the one who is close to Him.
Badaa’i‘ al-Fawaa’id(3/621)
4. Persisting in prayer, especially bearing in mind that one is close to Allah, may He be exalted, when prostrating, for that is the closest that a person may be to his Lord, may He be exalted; and also praying at the end of the night.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“Fall prostrate and draw near to Allah!” [al-‘Alaq 96:19].
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The closest that a person is to his Lord is when he is prostrating, so say a great deal of du‘aa’.”
Narrated by Muslim (482)
It was narrated from ‘Amr ibn ‘Abasah that he heard the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say: “The closest that a person is to his Lord is in the depths of the latter part of the night, so if you can be among those who remember Allah at that time, then do so.”
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (3579) and an-Nasaa’i (572); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Jaami‘(1173).
5. Truly repenting from sins, minor and major
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It should be understood that repentance is essential for every believer, and no one can attain perfect closeness to Allah and rid himself of everything that He dislikes except by means of it.
Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa(15/55)
6. Remembering Allah, may He be exalted, at all times, reciting adhkaar, du‘aa’s, tasbeeh, tahmeed and tahleel
[adhkaar = phrases of remembrance of Allah; du‘aas = supplications; tasbeeh = reciting the phraseSubhaan Allah(glory be to Allah); tahmeed = recitingAl-hamdu Lillah(Praise be to Allah); tahleel = recitingLaa ilaaha ill-Allah(There is no god but Allah)]
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Dhikr brings one closer to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, which is a status that everyone should strive for.
Al-Waabil as-Sayyib(1/96)
7. Attaining true fear of Him, may He be glorified and exalted.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The level of fear of Allah is commensurate with one’s level of closeness to Him and one’s status before Him. The closer a person is to Allah, the greater his fear of Him will be, because there is required of him what is not required of others, and he has a duty to take care of that status and give it its due in a manner that is not expected of others. That is similar to the one who is present before one of the kings, and can see that king: he is more fearful of him than one who is far away from him, and his fear will be according to how close he is to the king and his status with him, and how much he knows about the king and his rights. That is also because there is required of him, in terms of serving the king, what is not required of others. So he is more expected to fear the king than one who is far away. Whoever understands this properly will understand the hadith in which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “I am the most knowledgeable of Allah among you and I am the one who fears Him the most among you.”
Tareeq al-Hijratayn(1/427, 428)
And Allah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Psychological and Social Problems, Dought & clear, - * Rulings and issues for a husband who discovered a romantic relationship between his wife and another man

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I discovered that my wife is having a romantic relationship with a young man. In the beginning, there were phone calls between them, but it has reached such a stage of audacity that she brought him to the house in my absence. Up till now she does not know that I know about the matter, and that I intend to divorce her. My question is, do I have the right, according to sharee‘ah, to take back what I gave her of the mahr, and to force her to give up the delayed portion thereof, that was recorded in the papers filed with the sharee‘ah court? My second question is: my wife stole some money from me, and I did not find out that she was the one who was doing it until after the final theft. Do I have the right to demand that her family return what she stole from me, in addition to taking back the mahr that I mentioned in my first question? My third question is: we have two daughters; the older one is two and a half years old, and the little one is ten months old and she has stopped breastfeeding from her mother. Do I have the right, after divorcing her, to forbid my wife to bring them up, because of what she has done of betraying me? I want to bring up my daughters myself, for fear of her bad attitude. My fourth question is: my wife is now pregnant; can I divorce her whilst she is pregnant? My fifth question is: according to the doctor’s statement, the pregnancy is not yet established, and she may miscarry. If that happens, do I have to wait until her period comes so that I can divorce her? What is the shar‘i timeframe for divorce? My sixth question is: is one divorce (talaaq) sufficient, or must I divorce her on three separate occasions? Please advise me, may Allah reward you with all good. I am waiting for your fatwas so that I may begin divorce proceedings.
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Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
If it has become clear to you that she is having a haraam relationship with another man, or it becomes clear to you that she is committing zina, or she admits that to you, it is permissible for you to put pressure on her to give up the delayed portion of her mahr.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they are guilty of brazenly immoral conduct. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good”
[an-Nisa’ 4:19].
“brazenly immoral conduct” does not refer only to zina; rather it also includes open defiance and disobedience towards a husband, and reviling him and his family. So it is more apt that having a haraam relationship with another man should also be included in that and come under the same ruling.
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to the words “unless they are guilty of brazenly immoral conduct”, Ibn Mas‘ood, Ibn ‘Abbaas, Sa‘eed ibn al-Musayyab, ash-Sha‘bi, al-Hasan al-Basri, Muhammad ibn Sireen, Sa‘eed ibn Jubayr, Mujaahid, ‘Ikrimah, ‘Ata’, al-Khurasaani, ad-Dahhaak, Abu Qilaabah, Abu Saalih, as-Suddi, Zayd ibn Aslam, and Sa‘eed ibn Abi Hilaal said: What is meant by that is zina, i.e., if she commits zina, then you have the right to ask her to return the mahr that you gave her, and to put pressure on her so that she will give it up to you and you will divorce her by khula‘, as Allah, may He be exalted, says in Soorat al-Baqarah (interpretation of the meaning):
“And it is not lawful for you (men) to take back (from your wives) any of your Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) which you have given them, except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah (e.g. to deal with each other on a fair basis). Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Al-Khul‘ (divorce)”
[al-Baarah 2:229].
Ibn ‘Abbaas, ‘Ikrimah and ad-Dahhaak said: “brazenly immoral conduct” is defiance and disobedience.
Ibn Jareer – i.e., at-Tabari - favoured the view that it includes all of that: zina, disobedience, defiance, being sharp-tongued, and so on.
In other words, all of that makes it permissible to put pressure on her so that she will give up her rights, or part of them, so that he may leave her, and this is good. And Allah knows best.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer(2/241).
It is essential to understand that the mere fact that the wife has committed zina does not mean that her right to the mahr is waived.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The right to the mahr is not waived just because she commits zina, as is indicated by the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to the couple who engaged in li‘aan, when the husband asked about his money; he said: “No, you are not entitled to any money from her. If you were telling the truth against her, then it is in return for what was made permissible to you of intimacy with her, and if you were telling lies against her, then you have even less right to it.” That is because if a woman commits zina, she may repent, but the fact that she has committed zina makes it permissible for him to put pressure on her, so that she will ransom herself from him if she chooses to leave him, or she should repent.
Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa(15/320)
Secondly:
Whatever a woman takes from her husband’s wealth without his knowledge may be one of two things:
1. She has taken it to spend on herself and on her children and house, and the reason for her doing that is stinginess and miserliness on her husband’s part.
2. She has taken it in order to buy luxuries, or to give the money to her family, and other kinds of spending.
In the first case, it is not permissible for the husband to ask her to give this money back, because she took something that she is entitled to, because spending on the wife and children is obligatory upon the head of the household. If he falls short in that or refuses to do it, it is permissible to take from his wealth, even if that is without his knowledge.
It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: Hind – the wife of Abu Sufyaan – said to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man and he does not give me enough for me and my child, except what I take from him without him knowing. He said: “Take that which will suffice you and your child on a reasonable basis.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5049) and Muslim (1714).
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said, discussing what we learn from this hadith:
… If a person has some right over another but he is not fulfilling it, it is permissible to take from his wealth as much as he is entitled to, without his permission.
Sharh Muslim(4/373)
In the second case, it is not permissible for your wife to take anything from you without your permission, and if she does that then she is sinning, and you have the right to ask her to return what she took; if she refuses, you have the right to take back your wealth from the deferred portion of her mahr or from anything else of her wealth that you owe her.
Thirdly:
The basic principle is that the mother is more entitled to custody of her children – before the age of seven years – so long as she has not remarried. What is meant by custody is not merely providing food, drink and shelter; it also includes teaching them, educating them, teaching them morals and manners, and taking care of their psychological wellbeing. If the mother is a disbeliever or an evildoer, it is not permissible to give her custody of her children. What matters with regard to custody is not that the one who has custody should be a father or a mother; what matters is what he or she can offer the child of care and Islamic upbringing and education. Based on that, the parent who is more entitled to custody is one who is better in terms of religious commitment. If the mother, after her divorce, is continuing to follow misguidance and commit sin, it is not permissible to give her custody of her children, and in that case custody should be given to the father, but if she repents and mends her ways, then she is more entitled to custody of them so long as she has not remarried, for “the one who repents from sin is like the one who never sinned.”
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Our shaykh – i.e., Ibn Taymiyah – said: If one of the parents fails to teach the child and enjoin upon him that which Allah has enjoined, then he is a sinner and is not entitled to guardianship over the child; rather anyone who fails to undertake the duties of guardianship is not entitled to guardianship. In fact he should either give up guardianship and hand it over to one who will do what is required, or someone should be made a co-guardian with him who will do what is required, because the aim is to achieve obedience to Allah and His Messenger.
Our shaykh said:
This right is not the right of inheritance which is attained by ties of kinship, marriage or wala’, and is the same regardless of whether the heir is an evildoer or righteous; rather it is more akin to rights of guardianship, with regard to which it is essential that the individual be able to carry out the duties, have knowledge thereof and do them to the best of his ability.
He said: if we assume that the father marries a woman who does not pay any attention to the interests of his daughter, and does not take care of her, and her mother is more able to take care of the daughter’s interests than that co-wife, then in this case custody should definitely be given to the mother.
It should be understood that there is no general shar‘i text to suggest that priority be given to one of the parents in all cases, or that the child should be given the choice between his parents in all cases. The scholars are unanimously agreed that neither of them is given priority all cases; rather one who is a transgressor and negligent should not be given precedence over one who is righteous, fair and will treat him well. And Allah knows best.
Zaad al-Ma‘aad(5/475, 476)
Please see also the answer to question no. 20705.
Fourthly:
Divorce of a pregnant woman is acceptable according to sharee‘ah and is in harmony with the Sunnah. Many ordinary people think that it does not count as such, but their view has no basis in Islamic teaching; rather it is a divorce that is in harmony with the Sunnah.
Muslim (1471) narrated the story of how Ibn ‘Umar divorced his wife; according to this report the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Tell him to take her back, then divorce her when she is pure or pregnant.”
Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to one who is pregnant, there is no difference of opinion among the scholars that divorce in this case is in accordance with the Sunnah, from the beginning to the end of pregnancy, because her ‘iddah ends when she gives birth. Similarly, it is proven from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), in the hadith of Ibn ‘Umar, that he instructed him to divorce his wife when she was pure or pregnant, and he did not specify either the beginning or end of pregnancy.
At-Tamheed(15/80)
We have quoted a fatwa from Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) on the ruling on divorce of a wife who is pregnant, in the answer to question no. 12287.
As this is the case, you can divorce your wife with one, revocable talaaq, after which you have the choice: either you can take her back during the ‘iddah – which lasts up until the time she gives birth – if you see that she has mended her ways and you are convinced that she has repented – or you can wait until the ‘iddah ends, after which she will become revocably divorced. At that time she will become free to choose her own destiny, but you can take her back if she wants that and her guardian agrees to it, with a new marriage contract and mahr, because she will have become a stranger (non-mahram) to you.
You should not issue three divorces in one sitting, or in one sentence, because that is a way of divorce that is contrary to the Sunnah.
And Allah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI