Engagment, Dought & clear, – * If a man says to his fiancée, “Give yourself to me in marriage,” this is not regarded as a marriage

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I am a young man and I proposed marriage to a girl. The engagement period lasted approximately one year, then something like what happens between a husband and a wife happened between us. There was no actual zina but I know that this is one of the degrees of zina. I said to her: “Will you give yourself to me in marriage according to the Sunnah of Allaah and His Messenger?” And she said “Yes.” Allaah and all of the Muslims are witnesses that she is my wife and she agrees with me, but there were no witnesses, until the marriage is done officially, so that whatever happens between us will not be haraam. Is this marriage permissible or not?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The fiancé is a stranger (non-mahram) to his fiancée and it is not permissible for him to touch her, shake hands with her or be alone with her. The evidence that these things are haraam is well known and is not hidden. See question no. 84089.
What happened between you is haraam and you must repent to Allaah, may He be exalted, for that, by giving it up, regretting it and resolving not to do it again in the future. You must also keep away from the things that lead to haraam such as being in touch or corresponding, until the marriage contract is done.
Many people are careless about such matters during the engagement period; this is an evil matter which leads to things that are even worse.
Think about how the shaytaan toys with man until he commits zina with the one he wants to marry. Verily to Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return.
Think about a marriage that starts with something haraam, and is based on haraam. How will it be and how will it end?
Secondly:
The fact that you said to your fiancée “Will you marry me according to the Sunnah of Allaah and His Messenger” and she said yes is not regarded as a marriage and it is worthless according to sharee’ah. It does not make permissible what happened before it and what will come after it. Rather this is one of the tricks of the shaytaan whereby he deceives some of those who turn away from learning what their religion requires of them. If this were a real marriage, why would every adulterer and adulteress fail to do it?
A marriage contract is not valid unless it is done in the presence of the woman’s wali (guardian) and with his consent, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085), al-Tirmidhi (1101) and Ibn Maajah (1881) from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi.
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083) and al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Jaami’, no. 2709.
Allaah describes marriage asmeethaaq ghaleez(firm and strong covenant – al-Nisa’ 4:21). It is not a game that a man plays with his friends, bringing whomever he wants to witness his marriage to a woman who is careless about her honour and who has sold herself, then when he has had his way with her he leaves her with no authority over him and no way to demand maintenance from him, then if she produces a child he is the first one to disavow himself of him. And he does not know, perhaps she married another husband in the same cheap manner?
This shows you how abhorrent are these tricks that are used in order to commit zina and which are called marriage. Unfortunately this has become widespread among some Muslims. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.
Finally, we should like you to ask yourself this question: If this girl was your sister or your daughter, would you agree to her fiancé doing that with her?
If you would not like it for your sister or your daughter, then other people do not like it for their sisters and daughters either.
Fear Allaah, give up this haraam action, and protect the honour of the one whom you want to be your wife in the future.
You must hasten to get married, so that you will be safe from committing something haraam.
May Allaah help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.
And Allaah knows best.

*AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM (WR, WB)*
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Saturday - jan- - 14 -2017
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Rabiul Ahir - - 15- -1438
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PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Basic Tenets of Faith, Dought - clear, - * Will the one who does not pray, but affirms the pillars of faith, go to Hell?

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I have a question about the hadith which says: “No one will enter Hell in whose heart is an atom’s worth of faith.” We know that there are many people who believe in the six pillars of faith, in the existence of Allah and in the hereafter, but they do not pray. The status of the prayer is well known in Islam, as it is the criterion that distinguishes between faith and disbelief. Can we say that these people will not enter Hell because they are believers, even if they do not pray?
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Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
The Muslim scholars are unanimously agreed that faith consists of both words and deeds, and that faith is not valid unless both factors are present. Faith is words on the lips, belief in the heart and actions with the physical faculties; it increases with acts of obedience and worship, and it decreases with acts of disobedience and sin.
See the answers to questions no. 59911, 119068and 131415
Secondly:
It was narrated that ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ood said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No one will enter Hell in whose heart is an atom’s worth of faith.”
Narrated by Imam Ahmad (3947), and by at-Tirmidhi (1991) who classed it as saheeh. It was also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh at-Tirmidhi.
What is meant is that he will not enter it as the disbelievers will, so he will not abide forever in Hell, even if he enters it because of his disobedience and sins.
Please see the answer to question no. 170526.
In the hadith of intercession that was narrated by Muslim (193) it says: “it will be said to me: ‘O Muhammad, raise your head. Speak, you will be heard; ask, it will be given to you; intercede and your intercession will be accepted.’ I will say: ‘O Lord, my ummah, my ummah.’ It will be said to me: ‘Go, and whoever has in his heart faith the weight of a grain of mustard-seed, bring him out therefrom.’ So I will go and do that, then I will come back to my Lord and I will praise Him with those words of praise, then I will fall down prostrating to Him, and it will be said to me: ‘O Muhammad, raise your head. Speak, you will be heard; ask, it will be given to you; intercede and your intercession will be accepted.’ I will say: ‘O Lord, my ummah, my ummah.’ It will be said to me: ‘Go, and whoever has in his heart faith that is smaller, smaller, smaller than a grain of mustard-seed, bring him out of the Fire.’ And I will go and do that.”
The point is that Allah, may He be exalted, will bestow His grace upon the sinners among those who affirm His Oneness, so He will bring out of Hell everyone who had an atom’s worth of faith in his heart, then He will admit them to Paradise by His mercy. So no one will abide forever in Hell and be deprived of Paradise except the pure disbeliever in whose heart there is not even an atom’s worth of faith or even less than that.
Al-Bukhaari (4203) and Muslim (111) narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No one will enter Paradise except a believer.”
Thirdly:
In the answer to question no. 145252we stated that if a person does not pray at all, then his good deeds are rendered invalid.
As it is proven in the Islamic texts that no one will enter Paradise except a believer, and that faith consists of both words and deeds, and is not valid except with both, and that if a person does not pray at all then his good deeds are rendered invalid, then from all of the above we may conclude that if a person does not pray at all, then he does not have sound faith that would protect him from entering Hell, according to what it says in the hadith mentioned.
At-Tabaraani narrated inal-Mu‘jam al-Kabeer(8941) with a saheeh isnaad from ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: “Whoever does not pray has no religion.”
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If a rational person has the slightest speck of faith in his heart, it is not possible for him to persist in not praying when he knows how important the prayer is and that it was enjoined from the highest place that any human ever reached. How can he bear witness that there is no god but Allah and yet persist in not praying? A testimony such as this obliges him to worship Allah by means of the greatest act of worship. It is essential to confirm words with actions, so it is not possible for a person to claim something that he does not do; rather in that case he is a liar in our view. How come we describe him as a disbeliever on the basis of the texts which describe him as such, even though he says Laa ilaaha ill-Allah (there is no god but Allah), but we do not describe him as a disbeliever for not praying, even though the texts clearly state that he is a disbeliever? This is nothing but a contradiction.
According to the hadith of Mu‘aadh, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no one who testifies that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, sincerely from the heart, but Allah will protect him from Hell” (agreed upon). According to the hadith of ‘Itbaan ibn Maalik, he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Verily Allah has forbidden to the Fire anyone who says Laa ilaaha ill-Allah, seeking thereby the Countenance of Allah” (agreed upon).
So uttering the Shahaadatayn (twin declaration of faith) is dependent upon sincerity of intention and sincerity in the heart, which would prevent a person from failing to pray. That is because there is no one who is sincere in saying that but his sincerity would inevitably motivate him to do the prayer. The prayer is the foundation of Islam and is the connection between the slave and his Lord. If he is sincere in seeking the Countenance of Allah, then he will inevitably do that which will help him to attain that, and he will avoid that which would prevent him reaching that goal.
By the same token, if a person bears witness that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, sincerely from the heart, that sincerity will inevitably motivate him to perform the prayer sincerely for the sake of Allah, may He be exalted, and thus following the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), because that is one of the requirements of that sincere testimony.
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti‘(2/31-36)
Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:
What is the response of the scholars who regarded one who does not pray out of carelessness as a disbeliever to the hadith of intercession and the hadith of the one who has a slip of paper [on which the Shahaadatayn are written, and it will outweigh his bad deeds in the Balance on the Day of Resurrection], and the idea that anyone who has an atom’s worth of faith in his heart will be brought out of Hell?
He replied:
It is well-known from the hadiths of intercession that there will be no intercession except for those who affirmed the Oneness of Allah (Tawheed), the people of Laa ilaaha ill-Allah, and that they will be known by the mark of prostration, for Allah will forbid the Fire to consume the mark of prostration on the son of Adam. This indicates that they pray, and it indicates that those who do not pray will not be recognised, so they will not benefit from intercession.
The same applies to the hadith of the slip of paper: it is well-known that this slip of paper on which are written the Shahaadatayn, will belong to a believer who was sincere and certain in his faith, and this sincerity will undoubtedly motivate him to act accordingly. So this applies to the people of Laa ilaaha ill-Allah, who act upon their faith, and part of acting upon it is performing the prayer.
End quote fromSharh Akhsar al-Mukhtasaraat(64/39)
Over and above all that, we know for certain that some people among this ummah, among those who affirm the Oneness of Allah, and even among those who pray, will enter Hell because of sins that they commit, then the Most Merciful of those who show mercy will bestow His grace upon them and will bring them out of Hell, and will admit them to Paradise. Hence the angels will recognise them in Hell, after they have been burnt in it due to their lengthy stay, and they have been thoroughly burned – the angels will recognise them by the marks of prostration, for the Fire will consume everything of the son of Adam except the marks of prostration.
So how about the one who did not pray at all, regardless of whether he was a disbeliever or not, when it is known that prayer is the greatest foundation of Islam and the greatest means by which a person may draw closer to his Lord, after the twin declaration of faith, and it is known that not praying is the gravest of sins, more serious than any sin that any of the sinners among those who affirm the Oneness of Allah can commit!
And Allah knows best.

*AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM (WR, WB)*
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Thursday - jan- - 12 -2017
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Rabiul Ahir - - 13- -1438
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PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Basic Tenets of Faith, Dought - clear, - * Is it permissible to speak words of disbelief in order to save one’s life? Which is preferable, to be patient or to utter such words?

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One of my friends told me that lying in order to save one’s life is obligatory, and that this is mentioned in the Qur’an, and he may have also quoted the story of ‘Ammaas ibn Yaasir and the verse in which Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “except him who is forced thereto and whose heart is at rest with Faith” [an-Nahl 16:106]. However what I know is that it is not permissible for anyone to say that he is not a Muslim, no matter what the reason; rather he must be proud of his Islam under all circumstances.
My question is: if a person finds himself in a situation where he is forced to say that he is not Muslim, otherwise he will die, what should he do? Should he say that he is not a Muslim and save himself from death, or do the opposite?
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Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
What your friend told you about it being permissible to speak words of disbelief in order to protect oneself from harm or persecution that cannot be borne is correct. That is affirmed in the Qur’an, and in the Sunnah there are reports which support it, and the scholars did not differ concerning that.
In the Qur’an:
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Whoever disbelieved in Allah after his belief, except him who is forced thereto and whose heart is at rest with Faith but such as open their breasts to disbelief, on them is wrath from Allah, and theirs will be a great torment”
[an-Nahl 16:106].
At-Tabari (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: Allah, may He be glorified, states that whoever disbelieves after having believed is subject to the wrath of Allah and will have a severe punishment. However, in the case of one who is forced to speak words (of disbelief) that are contrary to what is in his heart of faith, in order to save himself from his enemy thereby, there is no blame on him, because Allah may He be glorified, will only bring people to account for what they intend in their hearts.
Tafseer at-Tabari(17/305)
In the Sunnah:
The mushrikeen seized ‘Ammaar ibn Yaasir and did not let him go until he reviled the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and spoke well of their gods, then they let him go. When he came to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) he said: “What happened to you?” He said: Something bad, O Messenger of Allah; I was not let go until I reviled you and spoke well of their gods. He said: “How do you find your heart?” He said: It is at rest with faith. He said: “If they do that again, do the same again (as you did).”
Narrated by al-Haakim inal-Mustadrak(2/389); al-Bayhaqi inas-Sunan al-Kubra(8/208). Its isnaad is da‘eef, but it was narrated via many isnaads which indicates that there is a basis for this story.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
These mursal reports strengthen one another.
Fath al-Baari(1`2/312)
With regard to scholarly consensus:
(a) Ibn Hazm (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The scholars are unanimously agreed that the one who is forced to say words of disbelief when his heart is at rest with faith is not subject to any blame before Allah, may He be exalted. End quote.
Maraatib al-Ijmaa‘(61). See also:al-Iqnaa‘ fi Masaa’il al-Ijmaa‘by Ibn Qattaan (2/272)
(b) Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Hence there is no dispute in our view that the ruling on words uttered is not applicable in the case of one who is forced unlawfully. End quote.
Al-Istiqaamah(2/210).
(c) Inal-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah(22/182) it says:
The fuqaha’ are unanimously agreed that if a person is forced to disbelieve and utters the word of disbelief, he does not become a disbeliever thereby. End quote.
Secondly:
The compulsion for which a person is excused is compulsion in which a person has no option but to resort to saying such words.
It says inal-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah(22/182):
Compulsion is of two types: that in which one is compelled to resort to desperate measures, such as threats of killing, cutting off of limbs and beatings in which one fears loss of life or limb, whether the blows are few or many. This type is called “complete force”.
With regard to the other type, one is not compelled to resort to desperate measures. That includes imprisonment, being tied up or being beaten, but not to the degree that one fears loss of life or limb. This type of compulsion is called “lesser force”.
End quote.
The scholars have listed certain conditions regarding the definition of complete force in which one may resort to speaking words of disbelief; they are as follows:
(a) The threat should be of something that causes destructive harm, such as killing or cutting off limbs, or it should be something that the Muslim cannot bear, such as imprisonment and beatings.
(b) The one who is forcing him should be in a position where he is able to carry out his threats.
(c) The one who is forced should be unable to protect himself, even if that is by running away or seeking the help of others.
(d) The one who is being forced should think it most likely that what the one who is forcing him is threatening him with will indeed happen.
See also the answer to question no. 70558in which there is an important quotation from Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi concerning this topic.
Thirdly:
Is it permissible for the one who is being forced to bear it with patience and put up with the harm and persecution, even if he is killed in the process?
Yes, it is permissible for him to do that. This is what was done by Bilaal ibn Rabaah (may Allah be pleased with him) and others.
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It is permissible for him to accept being killed, as Bilaal ibn Rabaah (may Allah be pleased with him) referred to comply with their demands that he utter the word of kufr, when they were torturing him in all kinds of ways, to the extent that they put a huge rock on his chest when it was intensely hot, and they ordered him to ascribe partners to Allah, but he refused to do that and kept saying “Ahad, Ahad (One, One).” And he said: By Allah, if I knew a word that would annoy you even more than this, I would say it. May Allah be pleased with him and make him pleased.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer(4/606)
Fourthly:
Which is better: to be patient and bear it, even if that leads to death, or to avail oneself of the concession allowed by Islam and pay lip service to disbelief?
The most correct view is that what is best is to be patient and bear it, especially for someone who is one of the people of knowledge and virtue, or is an example for people. This is the view of the majority.
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
What is best and is preferable is for the Muslim to remain steadfast in his faith, even if that leads to him being killed.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer(4/606)
Inal-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah(35/18) it says:
The Hanafis, Maalikis and Hanbalis are agreed, and it is the more correct view according to the Shaafa‘is, that being patient and remaining steadfast in faith when one is being subjected to compulsion, even if that leads to being killed, is preferable to committing acts of disbelief, and if a person is killed he will be rewarded, because of the report according to which the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Among the people who came before you, a man would be taken and put into a hole dug for him in the earth, then a saw would be brought and put on his head and he would be cut into two halves, and an iron comb would be used to tear the flesh from his bones, but this still did not turn him away from his religion.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari.
On the other hand, the Shaafa‘is stated the following:
1. It is preferable to utter the word of disbelief in order to protect oneself
2. if he is one of the scholars who are taken as an example, then it is preferable to remain steadfast.
3. If what is expected of him is that he will be able to stand up to the enemy and to support Islam, then it is preferable for him to utter the word of disbelief in order to survive, otherwise it is preferable for him to remain steadfast.
End quote.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah often mentioned the hadith quoted above about those among the people who came before us who remained steadfast in the face of such terrible acts of torture and killing, then he said:
It is well-known that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) only mentioned that in the context of praising those people for their patience and steadfastness, and so that this may be a source of pride for the believers of this ummah.
End quote fromal-Istiqaamah(2/332)
Fifthly:
The questioner said: “what I know is that it is not permissible for anyone to say that he is not a Muslim, no matter what the reason; rather he must be proud of his Islam under all circumstances.”
One may think that these words are supported by what is narrated in the Sunnah from Abu’d-Darda’ (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: My close friend (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) advised me: “Do not associate anything with Allah, even if you are cut and burned. Do not neglect any prescribed prayer deliberately, for whoever neglects it deliberately no longer has the protection of Allah. And do not drink wine, for it is the key to all evil.”
Narrated by Ibn Maajah (4034); classed as hasan by al-Albaani inSaheeh Ibn Maajah.
But in fact this hadith does not mean that it is not allowed to avail oneself of the concession; rather it clearly highlights what is best in the case of compulsion. We have stated above that the view of the majority is that what is best is to be patient and remain steadfast. However the concession is proven in the Book of Allah, may He be exalted.
Abu’l-Hasan al-Mubaarakfoori (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
This indicates that one should choose death and being killed without making any outward display of ascribing partners to Allah; this is advising what is best and more virtuous. Otherwise it is permissible to utter words of disbelief and shirk if one is forced to do so, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“except him who is forced thereto and whose heart is at rest with Faith” [an-Nahl 16:106].
Mar‘aat al-Mafaateeh Sharh Mishkaat al-Masaabeeh(2/283)
In fact what the one who is forced says, even if it is in and of itself shirk, it is not really shirk in his case and he cannot be called a mushrik because of it. Rather he is still a believer; his faith is not affected at all and he has not fallen into shirk. The words that he was forced to say do not count for anything, so long as his heart was still at rest with faith. In that case he has not gone against this hadith and he has not ascribed any partner to Allah.
However the real problem is that some of them may be afraid of being killed or persecuted or other kinds of harm, or they may fear losing some benefit, so they fall into shirk, accept it and become at ease with it. In that case a person does become a mushrik and apostate.
And Allah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI *AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM (WR, WB)*
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Thursday - jan- - 12 -2017
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Rabiul Ahir - - 13- -1438
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