Between man and wife, Dought & clear, - * Does a wife have the right to refuse intimacy with her husband during Ramadaan for the purpose of worship?

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What is the ruling on a wife who refuses intimacy with her husband during Ramadaan because she is preoccupied with worship and drawing close to Allaah?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The month of Ramadaan is an important occasion for worshippers to increase their worship and for sinners to give up their ways and reconcile themselves with their Lord by giving up their sin and doing more acts of worship and obedience, so that they may turn over a new leaf and start a new life.
There are saheeh ahaadeeth which speak of the virtue of fasting, praying qiyaam and observing i’tikaaf. And in Ramadaan there is a night – Laylat al-Qadr – which Allaah has made better than a thousand months.
Based on this, the one who wants to spend the days of this month in worshipping his Lord cannot be denounced. People are psychologically prepared to read Qur’aan and obey the Most Merciful, whether they are men or women.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever spends the nights of Ramadaan in prayer out of faith and in the hope of reward, his previous sins will be forgiven.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (37) and Muslim (760).
Secondly:
Women should understand that their husbands have great rights over them. It is not permissible for a woman to refuse her husband these rights, or to refuse them for the sake of naafil acts of worship.
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (1853); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Targheeb, 1938.
What this means is that women are urged to obey their husbands, and that they should not refuse them even in this situation, so how about in other situations?
Haashiyat al-Sindi ‘ala Ibn Maajah.
Because of the importance of husbands’ rights, women are enjoined to ask their permission before doing some acts of worship which may conflict with their rights, such as the following:
1 – Observing naafil fasts.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman should fast when her husband is present except with his permission. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4896) and Muslim (1026).
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This is to be understood as referring to voluntary and recommended fasts for which there is no specific time. It is understood as meaning that this is haraam, as our companions stated. The reason for that is that the husband has the right to intimacy with his wife on all days, and his right is to be implemented immediately, and cannot be deferred because of voluntary acts of worship or because of an obligatory deed that may be done at any time. End quote.
Sharh Muslim, 7/115.
2 – Going out to the mosque
It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the wife of any one of you asks for permission to go to the mosque, do not forbid her.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4940) and Muslim (442).
Thirdly:
The husband has to fear Allaah with regard to his wife, and not burden her with more than she can bear. Many men keep their womenfolk busy all day with cooking, and at night with making sweets, so the woman’s days and nights are wasted and she cannot make the most of her fasting days or her nights by doing acts of worship. One of the wife’s rights over her husband is that she should have a share of the worship of this month. So he should not prevent her from reading Qur’aan, or praying qiyaam. There should be understanding between them so that there will not be any conflict between his rights and her worship of her Lord. This, of course, has to do with naafil acts of worship; with regard to obligatory acts of worship, the husband has no right to stop his wife doing them.
The way of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with his wives was to encourage them to worship and obey Allaah, especially in the last ten days of Ramadaan.
It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “When the (last) ten nights began, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would tighten his waist-wrapper (i.e., strive hard in worship or refrain from intimacy with his wives), stay awake at night and wake his family.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1920) and Muslim (1174).
If both husband and wife understand their rights and duties, they will avoid difficulties and arguments in most cases. If they understand that such occasions will only recur a few times during their lives, this should make them keener to make the most of the days and nights of Ramadaan.
We ask Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, to reconcile your hearts and to help you to obey Him and worship Him properly.
And Allaah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Engagment, - Dought& clear, - * He wants to propose to a woman in another city; can he ask for her picture?

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How can I look at a woman before proposing if we live in two different cities and I cannot travel?.
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Praise be to Allaah.
If a man has decided to propose to a woman, it is permissible for him to look at that which may encourage him to marry her, because of the report narrated by Abu Dawood (2082) from Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When one of you proposes to a woman, if he can look at that which may encourage him to go ahead and marry her, let him do so.” He said: I proposed to a girl and I used to hide myself from her until I saw that which encouraged me to marry her, and I went ahead and married her. This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
For more information on the guidelines on looking, see the answer to question no. 2572.
If you cannot travel to see the one to whom you want to propose, then you can look at a picture of her, but you should realize that a picture is not a true reflection of reality. A woman may appear more beautiful in a picture than she really is, and vice versa.
You also have to get rid of this picture and not keep it, and you have to be careful so that no one else sees it but you.
Do not ask for a picture until you have feel that you want to marry her, after asking about her religious commitment and situation, and you think that you will most likely be accepted. When there is nothing left to be done but seeing her, then ask for the picture at that point, because of the report narrated by Ahmad (18005) and Ibn Majaah (1864) from Muhammad ibn Maslamah, who said: I proposed marriage to a woman, then I hid and waited to see her until I saw her among some date palm trees that belonged to her. It was said to him: Do you do such a thing when you are a companion of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? He said, “When Allaah causes a man to propose to a woman, there is nothing wrong with him looking at her.” It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh Ibn Majaah.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If he wants to propose to her it is mustahabb for him to look at her lest he come to regret it. Another view is that this looking is not mustahabb, rather it is permissible, but the former view is the one that is correct, because of the ahaadeeth. It is permissible to look repeatedly in order to have a good idea about her physical appearance, whether the looking is with her permission or not. If it is not easy to look, he may send a woman to look at her and describe her to him. End quote fromRawdat al-Taalibeen(7/19).
Looking at one’s fiancée or at her picture is subject to the condition that there be no provocation of desire, so he should look at her without pleasure.
It says inMataalib Ooli al-Nuha(5/12): If the one who proposes to a woman is certain that there will be no provocation of desire when looking at her, without being alone with her, he may look at her. If he is alone with her or there is the fear that desire may be provoked, then it is not permissible. End quote.
And Allaah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI

Engagment, - Dought& clear, - * He loves his fiancée but she wants to cancel the engagement; what should he do?

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I am a 25 years old man. I engaged my relative about one year and half ago. Before this we had a love relationship for about two years. We both are religious, abiding by prayers and avoiding any haram. We fell in some sins many times but, Alhamdulillah, repented to Allah and we are seeking His forgiveness day and night. We have been alone together many times, which led us to do things like kissing and touching. Since that time we repented and are asking Allah to forgive us. Now my fiancée wants break our engagement for very small and meaningless reasons. Everyone objects to her reasons, her family and my family, we all relatives. She is also hesitant about this decision. We love each other for many years and I do not want to lose her ever. Please guide me to the right behavior I should do with her. I wish I receive an answer soon as I am passing this problem at the moment and do not know what to do.
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Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
What you have mentioned about your relationship with your relative and the haraam actions that you committed is something that is very regrettable when it happens among Muslims. It is indicative of fathers’ and mothers’ shortcomings in protecting their daughters and preventing them from mixing with men, and being careless with regard to relatives concerning this matter.
We praise Allaah for having given you insight into your mistakes and enabling you to repent and regret it and seek forgiveness. We ask Him, may He be glorified, to forgive you and accept your repentance.
Secondly:
You should find out the reasons why this girl wants to cancel the engagement. You could delegate this task to one of your female relatives. There may be reasons that can be remedied.
If the girl insists on her position, then all you can do is be patient and seek reward, and perhaps that will be better for you, because one does not know where good will be, and with whom he will find happiness.
You should also pray istikhaarah, asking Allaah for guidance, and ask Allaah to help you to get married to a righteous woman.
Beware lest you be one of those who are weak in faith, who – when they miss out on something they had wished for – lose their strength and willpower, and indulge in haraam things, or they fail to do obligatory duties, or they announce their withdrawal from life. That is the attitude of those who are hopeless and filled with despair. But the believer knows that everything happens by the will and decree of Allaah, and that he will never get anything but that which has been decreed for him. Hence Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is inscribed in the Book of Decrees (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz) before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allaah.
23. In order that you may not grieve at the things over that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you. And Allaah likes not prideful boasters”
[al-Hadeed 57:22, 23]
We ask Allaah to guide you to what is good for you and make it easy for you wherever it may be, and to enable you to have a happy and successful marriage by His leave.
And Allaah knows best.

PUBLISHERM.NajimudeeN. MD,IRI